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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?      Home login  
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 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 4
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How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Wouldn't bother me but the reason may be a game changer. I live in a car dependent area.
That being said.

If you live in an area there are subways, taxis all over, buses, etc... then it would be another matter.
In my area, no car...
you go no where and fast. Must have car to survive in some places. If you live in an area with mass transit, guess it wouldn't be a big deal

The devil is always in the details and you give no details OP.
 tjl503
Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 5
How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/10/2012 8:43:41 PM
No it's not a problem for the first date but once they find out you have no vehicle they won't want to taxi you around next date. It's a dealbreaker, we all have or had those friends who always needed a ride. You need a car to successfully date. You can't do much on the spur of the moment when you don't have a car on your date, you can't say hey lets go across town for mini golf, you'll have to drive. again and again and again, but it's ok you can drop me off at the bus stop at 2 in the morning. My date wouldn't be taking a bus.
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 7
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How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/10/2012 9:17:15 PM
I do think that this is a geography question.... where I live you can only marginally be successful with public transportation... so to not have a car would be problematic...

I had an ex that loved public transportation and even though he had a car he would take the bus.... so... on dates I ended up driving... because I don't like being tied to a schedule for buses or trains.... he would bus or train to my house... and then I would drive from there.... and the same when he went home... I would get him to my house and he would bus it home... there would be times he would have to wait an hour for the bus... which doesn't work for me...
How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/10/2012 10:15:35 PM

Should it be of the man's/woman's concern of how you arrive to that first meet?

it SHOULDN'T, but don't be shocked if it is. there was a thread here from an outraged woman whose main gripe was the guy showed up on a moped.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 9
How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/10/2012 10:21:50 PM
I met a guy for coffee once, after we said goodbye he followed me to my car. I thought maybe he was just trying to be a gentleman or something? But he just stood at the passenger side, staring at me expectantly. That's when he told me he didn't drive (he was 41) and could I give him a ride home?

I would have vastly preferred that he simply walk off toward public transit than THAT.
 hereiamhonxox
Joined: 5/25/2012
Msg: 10
How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/10/2012 10:30:56 PM
shakti that sounds like a dealbreaker to me, the cheeky creep
 Dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 11
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How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/10/2012 10:58:24 PM
Its a "red flag" if the man does not arrive by helicopter, and the woman does not arrive by submarine.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 12
How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/11/2012 3:13:03 AM
I don't think it matters how you get to where ever you have planned to meet - the key point is how YOU get there. No one wants to be an unpaid taxi service for others especially when they hardly know them. Just ensure you are there and on time.

May I ask if there is any reason why you are arriving on public transport when you state that you have a vehicle ?

I don't know anyone who has a car and opts to use public transport unless they are meeting in a city where parking can be a challenge. In this area, we have many 'park and ride' locations where someone can park their vehicle without cost and take public transport into the main town. Is this the case ?

Many people are highly alert when meeting someone new who contacted them over the internet. With no mutual friends who can verify that this person is trustworthy, many look for any small indication that the person they are meeting is not who they implied they were. Arriving on public transport to a coffee shop which has ample free parking outside might raise a question mark for some.
 ncipienssuper
Joined: 6/3/2012
Msg: 13
How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/11/2012 4:28:51 AM
i am confused by your question....if i arrive for a date in most cases it is valet parking or trying to find a place within five blocks.........so how would my date know how i got there
after the date being a gentleman i would walk my date to her car, watch her drive off into the sunset, then walk to my car... .... ... so here again how would she know how i came
but if you mean she asked if i was driving to the meet?!? well that (in my mind) would send signals that it was make, model, and year would come next....this women also would not know how i got to my dates...she would not be one of them!
bonne chance
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 14
How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/11/2012 6:22:05 AM
Both are meeting at a certain place at a certain time. As long as you are on time and in the right place, mode of transportation isn't relevant - and never should be, unless one's lack of it ever affect's the other one's time or resources.
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 16
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How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/11/2012 6:30:38 AM
^^^If you don't know the area, perhaps you should scope out the area a day before the meet. Even if you don't have a GPS, you can still print out a map of the area from Google or Mapquest complete with detailed instructions on how to get there and back.

It's not a huge deal as long as you're planning on leaving the same way you arrived. Expecting the other person to give you a ride back is being a bit presumptuous.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 17
How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/11/2012 6:42:04 AM
^^^Where did the OP say he was expecting the other person to give him a ride? I'm not seeing it here, but perhaps I haven't had enough coffee.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 19
How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/11/2012 7:00:03 AM
Depends on the reason(s) why they didn't use a car. It's possible that a person let a friend/relative borrow the car, the car is being repaired at an auto shop, a person didn't want to drive after drinking etc. However it could be a dealbreaker for many people if a person doesn't have a car and lives in an area where public transportation doesn't exist or is limited at best.
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 20
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How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/11/2012 7:06:24 AM
Where did the OP say he was expecting the other person to give him a ride? I'm not seeing it here, but perhaps I haven't had enough coffee.

OP didn't - that was more of a reference to Shakti's post.

Back to the OP, sometimes things don't always go as planned. What if the meet went longer than expected and you miss the last ride back?
 Acehonestlady
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 21
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How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/11/2012 11:43:04 PM
I don't understand the relevance of the question.
 Acehonestlady
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 22
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How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/11/2012 11:51:42 PM

I'm gonna turn up to a date on horseback one day just for a laugh :D


That would be very funny. Horse in countryside might not be too unusual even for a date but in town yes.

We could start something here. Use an alternative form of transport and report back the reaction in a designated forum post.
I fancy the idea of turning up on one of those Space Hopper things from the 70s, a pogo stick, Penny Farthing or tractor!
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 23
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How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/11/2012 11:53:12 PM
I could see this being an issue for certain situations. Where I live you really do need a car. So if they thumbed their way there I would be worried.. and irritated that they were late.
But it a large city I could see this not being an issue.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 24
How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/12/2012 6:31:23 PM

Should it be of the man's/woman's concern of how you arrive to that first meet?


I suppose it could be, it could certainly speak volumes if you didn't drive there "because you lost your license for a year after your 2nd DUI". Might be a sign of other problems in the future.

And of course it depends on where you live, if you're in a city with good public transportation I don't see why it would matter, I certainly would pick the most convenient way (like in NYC, paying for parking could cost you and arm & leg in places, public transportation would be far easier & convenient). Where I am, where its 5+mi for me to the closest grocery store, it might be more of a consideration *if* they didn't have a car at all (and busses don't go anywhere near where I live), but not sure it'd be a big concern on a first meet/date.
 trh1268
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 25
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How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:36:02 PM
Taking a train to a female is like you don't drive a car, they don't want to be taxi cab drivers.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 26
How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/12/2012 9:21:13 PM
Why would it matter? I would hope a woman would not be foolish enough to allow herself to be picked up by a virtual stranger from the net and I know that it sometimes happens. If you dont wish to drive your car, that is your business. If you dont want them to glimpse your number plate that may also be a reason or if you dont really have a car or a licence. If it happened more than once I might get a bit suspicious of who you really are.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 27
How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/12/2012 9:47:07 PM


You know what assuming does right guys?

It makes an Ass out of you!


Actually, ASSUME makes an "ASS" out of "U" and "ME".

- Felix Unger, on an episode of the "Odd Couple".

Any way that one gets there in 1 piece is fine.
 N2H20
Joined: 11/30/2008
Msg: 28
How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/12/2012 10:31:27 PM
Should be no problem at all. In the DC area many people have given up their vehicle and use public transit as their main form of transportation. In my neck of the woods there is no public transit like metrorail or bus so a vehicle would be desirable. The traffic here sucks and I would be worried to death if my date rode a bicycle on these roads!
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 29
How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/13/2012 8:40:48 AM
It's not a deal breaker, but you need a car to date. I'm not going to pick a guy & drive him around to date, or meet him everywhere. That is a deal breaker for me.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 30
How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/13/2012 8:51:07 AM
I don't think it's a big deal. But I do think it's important what you
do once your there.

If you arrive by public transportation, and your date asks you if you have
a car or you drive and you get all defensive and say WTF difference
does it make how I got here, then yeah it's a dealbreaker.

If you arrive by public transportation and you're asked and you say
you just thought it would be easier, wanted to, or any other reasonable
explanation...not a dealbreaker.

If you live in an area where public transportation is the norm (and your
date does also) not a deal breaker. Not everyone lives in areas of abundant
public transportation, and those people have cars. Those people are usually
not all excited about driving others around who brag they don't need a car.

So I guess the reason and response would be the answer to the dealbreaker.



I'm guessing you took public transporation to a date, you were asked and then
immediately got defensive because you thought you were being judged for not
having a car. But I don't want to assume.

ahahahahahahaha!
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 31
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How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/13/2012 1:45:19 PM

christ_on_a_crutch
it SHOULDN'T, but don't be shocked if it is. there was a thread here from an outraged woman whose main gripe was the guy showed up on a moped.


I remember that thread!

Which almost certainly means I have been here too long. Oh, well. (big sigh)
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?