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 More2Hold
Joined: 1/21/2012
Msg: 1
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Dating vs "Hanging Out"Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Can someone help me understand why dating (going out) has become hanging out? I was asked out and as we were discussing our date plans he suggested hanging out. This is not the first time this has happened and I am just very curious if this has become the norm? I might understand if the guy was a lot younger but that was not the case. A date used to mean....being picked up or meeting...over dinner or drinks not lets hang out at your place or mine. Am I wrong?
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 2
Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/12/2012 4:32:33 PM
I don't get this 'hanging out' term and how it relates to adults. My kids 'hang-out' with their friends and sometimes they use the term 'hang-out' for the location they will be at. My mother 'hangs-out' her laundry.

How the heck it fits with the dating world, I have no idea.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 3
Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/12/2012 4:33:20 PM
Hang out = let's have sex.
 inthepalemoonlight
Joined: 1/15/2012
Msg: 4
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Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/12/2012 4:37:33 PM
hanging out means you come over or vice versa, some meal is consumed, some b.s small talk, then the drinks are poured and then before you know it...

broken condom.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 5
Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/12/2012 4:41:29 PM

Can someone help me understand why dating (going out) has become hanging out?


"Hanging out" is a cheaper, less formal "date".


A date used to mean....being picked up or meeting...over dinner or drinks


Yes. See above.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 6
Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/12/2012 5:01:32 PM

....broken condom.


Oh - so it's a literal 'hang-out'. Makes sense now.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 7
Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/12/2012 6:03:17 PM
When I hear "hang out" I always check my zipper.

 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 8
Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/12/2012 6:06:13 PM

I don't date the people I hang out with.
I don't hang out with the people I date.
Simple

Same for me.

Can someone help me understand why dating (going out) has become hanging out? I was asked out and as we were discussing our date plans he suggested hanging out. This is not the first time this has happened and I am just very curious if this has become the norm? I might understand if the guy was a lot younger but that was not the case. A date used to mean....being picked up or meeting...over dinner or drinks not lets hang out at your place or mine. Am I wrong?

I don't know when this started, but it isn't how I date. I don't hang-out. Nor do I go on walks, bike rides or coffee for a first date. If it's not a real date, I'm not going. Meet/greets are not my deal. Outdoor dates are great, I actually prefer them, but not until I know someone. Hanging out to me is what I did nearly 30 years ago. I'm a grown up now and I prefer to date other grown ups. When I hear "let's hang out" I have visions of Coors Light and XBox marathons. No thanks. JMO
 catchnrelease71
Joined: 10/11/2011
Msg: 9
Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/12/2012 6:26:33 PM
I kind of like hanging out. It just seems odd that you meet a person for the first time and there is supposed to be some kind of perceived romance. I don't do the hang out at my place kind of thing, but I think when getting to know someone, you are "hanging out". So your going to meet at some fancy restaurant with flowers for a first meeting? Geez, let it get to that point is all I'm saying. It's not a big bang theory. It doesn't just happen out of nothing. You get to know someone and feelings grow from that. Seems logical to me.
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 10
Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:00:34 PM

The term "hang out" is informal and is sometimes a better way to ask a woman out. The moment you call something a date, it somehow gains meaning and certain things are expected. Ive called it hanging out often because it brings less pressure than a date going into it, but can have the same results.

This is how I feel. I've definitely never gotten a "let's have sex" vibe from it at ALL. To me, it's just less pressure and maybe less embarrassing for the guy if the girl declines (or vice versa). "Date", to me, feels like something romantic is expected, whereas I'd prefer to just spend time getting to know someone without any expectations.
 juicyfruit21
Joined: 10/30/2011
Msg: 11
Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/12/2012 8:57:44 PM
On POF...you can...

1. "hang out" / wants to date but nothing serious = FWB....see you when I see you....NSA or " just someone to do things with / NO sex at all.

2. hang out/looking for a relationship = wants to take it slow, get to know you by not having any expectations from a date per se...just hang out casually a few times and see if there is a possibility that we have chemistry to take it further.

3. hang out/friends= just that...no more....but could see if it turns into something....

After I read those boxes...I read the profile and look for any "clarifications"....sometimes people will explain a little further about their INTENTIONS.

After I am in an established relationship, I hang out with my guy....here, there, and everywhere....hehehe!!! just sayin'
 Tristle
Joined: 9/11/2010
Msg: 12
Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/13/2012 5:22:11 AM
Maybe you have a similar interest you put in your profile? To me, hanging out isn't about hooking up for sex, but rather just a good way (again for me) to suggest getting together and taking it from there with someone you don't know other than from a dating site. I did not realize that it might suggest otherwise. Now I know. I would feel weird suggesting "hey, how about a date" with someone I haven't met. To me a date is more planned with someone you want to have a romantic encounter with. But then again, not necessarily so either. dates can be fine too without a romantic connection I suppose.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 13
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Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/13/2012 5:31:35 AM
Hang out = Something a high schooler would say.

I agree with suraceofficer that if I like a woman I will ask her out on a date or a meet up which may lead to a date.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 14
Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/13/2012 5:45:01 AM
My take it on it is that this has everything to do with the filters. There is an option for "Intimate Encounter" which is essentially for those seeking sex without any pretense for a relationship. Since there are filters available to screen out anyone who chooses this option and any member who has ever spoken to such a person as well, people are probably wary of going anywhere near profiles with Intimate Encounter on them. The next option up is "Hang Out". It's obviously the same thing if you are talking about adults, for the youngest folks in here, it may mean actually hanging out but probably not. No one uses a dating site to find a buddy to hang with, that is just stupid.

Hang Out is the option folks use to get around the filters. This is part of the reason I keep trying to remind people just how stupid and counter-productive the filters are. Putting "Must have never contacted a person looking for Intimate Encounter" will not keep the people you are hoping to avoid from contacting you. Those people know all about how to get around filters. Or they just lie.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 15
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Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/13/2012 5:52:29 AM
"No one uses a dating site to find a buddy to hang with, that is just stupid."

Surprise because there are people like that on this site lol. This is why when someone says hang out you can assume two things: Intimate encounter, or just friends.
 skarabians1
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 16
Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/13/2012 6:17:17 AM
To me hanging out is getting to know one another without the date pressure.....no sex, maybe going dutch. When you start clicking, you date and move on to other things. Everything in order with NO pressure.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 17
Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/13/2012 6:26:41 AM
HKO, who in their right mind would come to a place filled with lonely, horny and frustrated people to find a nice, platonic friend to hang out with?

People come to a dating site because they want to find someone to date. Now why would some daters want to pretend that they are just looking for a platonic friend on POF? That's a much better question in my mind.
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 18
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Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/13/2012 6:47:33 AM
Hanging out is less structured and less formal. There's no real plan, you get together and do whatever, all decisions are made on the fly. There are no expectations, whatever happens, happens.

A date requires planning, possibly making reservations, getting dressed up, etc. A date is part of what us old folks used to call 'courting'.

That's how I define it, other people may define it differently.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 19
Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/13/2012 9:13:34 AM
Hanging out, to me, seems like the guy wants a very casual, no strings attached, casual sex type of relationship. He isn't interested in picking you up, taking you out, then bringing you home, etc. I wouldn't hang out at his place or mine, especially if it's a brand new relationship & he's getting to know you. He should be taking you out & doing different things together. I would expect to be taken out, especially in the beginning. Hanging out at his house or yours, he's going to expect easy sex with no relationship, no comittment.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 20
Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/13/2012 9:29:36 AM
Depends on the context, with either term. In the context you refer to, where the plans are being discussed and the other person says "Let's hang out [here], this is a good spot," basically it just means an informal 'date'. But don't take either word so seriously. It's taking the casual approach to things -- and it's not just a young people's thing, it's a good thing in many cases. It lessens the build-up of expectations and so forth when you don't know the person all-too-well. Also, it can be a slight safety net in communication, where if the guy has a feeling that he doesn't want to come on too strong, he may emphasize that... like when a woman says she likes to take things slow.

Again, just a tone-setter or merely a more casual view on the outing vs some reality show "big date" ordeal.

<div class='quote'>This is why when someone says hang out you can assume two things: Intimate encounter, or just friends.
I don't agree, even though it can. Again, depends on the context in which the phrase is used. In fact, both can be used interchangeably within a conversation, too. But if one likes to 'hang out', it means taking the casual approach. Being Just Friends would be able to be picked up elsewhere most likely.

For a 1st meetup, a lot of people would like to go somewhere to hang out and get to know each other, not via email. It's an informal, casual get-together. There's less build-up, and if they're not interested, it's not a big deal... where it hits people harder if there was explicitly some "Date" in which the other person "suddenly", at the end or afterwards, didn't have interest in them. Either way, if they like you, they like you, and you'll be able to pick up on that quick. If you don't sense that and they Emphasize Just 'hanging out' if to see each other again when there was no chemistry, then yeah, there's a lack of interest, and they don't want to actually be "seeing you", and just as a friend. An initial meetup in reference to 'hang out' at a certain spot keeps the options open depending on what transpires.
 pescando75
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 21
Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/13/2012 11:08:04 AM
Most confusing situations can be clarified if actual communication transpires. If you are interested in someone, and they say, "let's hang out," -ask them what they mean by that. Not sure why this game of semantics and endless uncertainty and over-analysis is so prevalent. Probably because of the "texting" syndrome where people try to determine emotive tone from text. Stop guessing and ask is all I can recommend. It likely means different things to different people. Just like EVERYTHING.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 22
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Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/13/2012 1:31:36 PM

BrookfieldGentlemanTom
older women want to date not hang out so i have to go with my experience with younger women in their 20's who have asked if we could hang out.

to them it meant doing things together almost like friends and a few of them even specified "no sex" even though i never bring that subject up. some said "we can make out but no sex". one said "no making out and no sex". i've always agreed to those conditions but she should understand she'll be paying her own way to dinner, the Medieval Faire, the museum, ball games, Truck Nite, bowling, the movies, etc and that includes drinks too.

then there's the young ones who DO include sex. i remember this 25 year old saying "i'm bored today. let's have sex."


Well, I haven’t dated anyone in her 20’s since Roosevelt was president (Theodore, not Franklin). But I have dated a number of teachers, and many teachers pick up on the lingo / attitudes / expressions used by their students. I have heard every statement mentioned above, from “no sex” to “we can make out but no sex”, all the way to “I’m bored, can I come over and jump you?”
 More2Hold
Joined: 1/21/2012
Msg: 23
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Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/13/2012 3:59:36 PM
Thank you so much for all your input. I agree with most of what I read. But today I found out why he suggested "hanging out." After wasting 2 weeks of my time.....HE is married! That in itself raises more questions. Why lie? What happen to moral compass? His actions once again remind me of why I am single. Thanks again for all of your responses.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 24
Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/13/2012 8:44:54 PM
Thank you so much for all your input. I agree with most of what I read. But today I found out why he suggested "hanging out." After wasting 2 weeks of my time.....HE is married!

You talked fruitfully (to waste time) for 2 weeks before possibly meeting? Lesson to be learned: Set up a meeting, early as possible, once conversation gets flowing. Make time for just a little meet. Would you rather meet them 5-7 days after getting emails going, then finding out they're married or uglier than profile ... or talk to them for 2 weeks and find it out w/o meeting?
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 25
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Dating vs Hanging Out
Posted: 6/14/2012 6:23:51 PM
Hanging out does not insinuate NSA. It just means you do something together but have no real plans. Basically you figure it out on the fly. Its informal dating.
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