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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > not a cellphone a deal breaker?      Home login  
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 inthepalemoonlight
Joined: 1/15/2012
Msg: 1
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not a cellphone a deal breaker?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I've had one since I was 18 years of age so I'm not the one in question. However, I noticed a sparse few who decided not to get a phone.

I don't think I could date one, because communication could be ever so difficult. I know, there was a time when they didn't exist, but to me thats not a good reason.

Any opinions on the matter?
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 2
not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/12/2012 4:46:58 PM
I find that quite a few people who are serial texters and have thier cellphones surgically attatched are not very good at having a real conversation.

I do not have a cell phone for personal use if someone is interested enough to contact me outside of what is a last minute plan for them then they are probably interested enough for me to have some sort of relationship with.

I actually did exchange emails and phone conversations with a woman on here who thought not having a cell phone was a deal breaker. I figured that if I had to have a cell phone in order to date her then that was deal breaker enough for me.

I got by just fine travelling all over BC in the 90's and early 2000's doing sales and consulting work without having a cell phone now it is unthinkable to not have one for this sort of work but I don't buy that my personal life has to follow the same set of rules as my working life.
 Sillyandserious
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 3
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not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/12/2012 5:02:31 PM
I think for me...the reason for not having a cell phone is a deal breaker. I have talked to guys (on here) who did not have a cell phone OR a home phone. My only thought is....dude you can get a cell phone for $20 with net10. How do you NOT have a cell phone.

Now as for someone who isn't 'into' texting. That is NOT a dealbreaker. I love to text...but I understand that not everyone digs that form of communication.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 4
not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/12/2012 5:08:42 PM
When I worked for a major financial institution it was mandatory that I carry a pager and cell phone.
I hated it!
My life was not mine.
Now ... I carry a cell phone, however the ONLY ones that have my cell number are my children and a select few of my friends.
Why?
Because I own my own life.
I do not want to be intruded upon, called, or harassed when I want to be anonymous.

My older 2 children live on their phones.
Life revolves around it.
My younger one, gave his up.
He doesn't like being on call.
He also prefers his anonymity.

To each their own.
However, if you judge a potential date on whether or not she has a cell phone,
You may bypass some really amazing people.
But then that is your loss, not theirs.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 5
not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/12/2012 5:16:09 PM
Echoing Dino, I always had a cell phone (via work) for a long time, and I for the most part only used it for work (they're paying the bill for my job, not for me to chat).

My current job 'decided' after me being there a year or so that they wanted everyone to 'transfer their cell phones to their name' (which included a whole new year contract), and they'd cover "$40 for the 450minute plan" on an expense report, "because people are running up charges for personal calls" (in a year I'd used it about 3x to call, after a late (8pm+) night in the office, to order a pizza on the way home when I was like 20 mins from the pizza place). I declined to put it in my name, they 'threatened' to cancel it, and I said 'go ahead'... "but what if we have to reach you?"... um, well, if it's that important you'd pay for a cell phone wouldn't you? They bugged me for months, and did finally cancel it.

Since then, I did get a cell phone a few years back - after my Dad was rushed to the hospital for emergency angioplasty (heart), but that number only my family and a few really close friends have (my boss at work has it, with the understanding its only for 'the sky is falling' serious emergencies). A 'girlfriend' would certainly get it, but not right away, and it'd annoy the hell out of me if she was constantly calling my cell phone multiple times a day.

My life isn't tethered to being in constant contact with the world - if I go on a hike with friends, the cell phone doesn't come, I'm out to enjoy time with friends and nature, not be enslaved to my phone (nor does it if I run to the store real quick, or any number of other things - I will take it on longer trips in case of car trouble, etc, but knock-on-wood haven't used it for that yet). Believe it or not, there *are* other things in life than being a slave to other people ('jumping' when they call) and there was life before the internet could be strapped to your hip 24/7.

In fact, quite honestly, I find the constant texting and need to always have someone available "instantly" a symptom of the "instant gratification" society, that I really don't want to be a part of. If that's a reason to not have a relationship with me, well, then that's fine with me, because its not something I would want either.
 smarternudumbernmost
Joined: 5/25/2012
Msg: 6
not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/12/2012 5:22:01 PM

Any opinions on the matter?

IMO not having a cell phone would probably help actual social communication.
They are great at transmitting facts immediately. "I need 1,000 units shipped to Idaho, today."
Otherwise they support bad habits. "OMG! The beyotch next to me sooo doesn't deserve her job! I just had to tell you!"
"Hi, howya doin? Just callin ya at work to say hiiiiiii, what's up, not much going on, whatcha thinkin about, just wanted to say hiiii."
Tons of text miscommunications.

Socially, cell phones allow for greater abuse in not thinking before speaking.
Same with internet forums.
It simply allows people to immediately gratify emotional urges.
Rather than feel them, cogitate a subject, and come up with the best way to express it, wrap them up in related events or other important things to give a better picture, come to the realization that some things just don't matter.

Having a cell phone creates a false sense of security of control over your life and others.
Do you know how many threads were started here basically saying "OMG! They usually text me within the hour, 10 minutes, 4 minutes! But like they didn't text me back for 4 hours! Do you think they are cheating on me?!?!?!"

Of course they do have pro's. Such as if there is an emergency and the other person is needed.
Otherwise there is really nothing the cell phone helps except building shallow emotional ties and exacerbates crap communication skills.


I don't think I could date one

I tend to date women that turn off their cell phones when we are together.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 7
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not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:03:17 PM
My opinion on the matter is, that you ought to be terribly grateful that so far, you have not stumbled into any Temporal Warp Anomaly Fields, which might have transported you back t0 1980 or so. You would have been alone, owing to your apparent inability to imagine how to engage with someone who is not electronically linked directly to you at all times.

Past that minor observation, I can find no special reason for this thread, since what you happen to want or need on an individual basis, does not require anyone else's approval, in order for you to be perfectly able to stick with it.

Of course, that's pretty much the way I think of anyone's peculiar "deal breakers." You make your choices, and you accept the consequences, in the form of a reduction in the number of possible mates you might manage to get on with.

Simple arithmetic.
 imrrc
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 8
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not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:27:57 PM
just a few comments about cell phones. I am 50, and for years an answering machine/land line was great. Got a cell phone finally in 1997. It was cool, and I still use one plenty. 3 things about them have come up in conversation recently.

first, a friend asked me what the one thing that is wrong with cell phones. I answered correctly. No privacy.

second, I have had people call, then call again, and then text and get mad that I am not answering. My response? I do not have it attached to my head. I may be outside doing some yard work and don't want it getting dirty, I may have left it in my car. leave a voicemail, that is what it is for.

third, before cell phones, we relied on landlines and answering machines. When we talked to someone at work for example, said we were going to meet at a certain time for a beer, we did it. responsibility and dependability.

Cell phones seem to take over some people's lives. Amazing how they alter our schedules. Change our lives enough that you really can't sit down for a 'breather' at the end of the day and decompress without it ringing. Nothing worse than talking with someone and they keep getting texts and responding. And the only thing they say in the conversation is "I'm listening".
Do they still make pagers? As for someone that doesn't have a cell phone, if you meet one, I am sure you will figure out how to communicate. Their work phone, their home phone machine, and email.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 9
not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:29:37 PM
^ Remember back when answering machines, if you had one, were rather expensive and used tapes? And if you called someone and they weren't home you hung up after 10 rings (if they didn't have a machine) because they probably weren't home? And if they were home and on the phone, you got a busy signal and knew to call back later? (And the person on the phone didn't get a 'bleep' or any other signal you were calling).

I miss those times - people were far less impatient, didn't expect you to interrupt your call to talk to them, drop everything to text them back immediately, etc...
 trh1268
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 10
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not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:33:07 PM
What ever happen to the days of talking on the home telephone? Are those days over? I see now from my experience on this site, females prefer IM or texting - why?
 imrrc
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 11
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not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:49:23 PM
it was a lot easier, and I told my son that one day, if someone doesn't answer in 10 rings, they either aren't there or don't want to talk. And there was no caller ID. I remember moving to the south in 1970, lived just outside the city limits and we had a party line. My grandmother paid a couple hundred to Ma Bell to run a couple miles of line, and she was then called "the rich New Yorker" who wanted her privacy.
 surfaceofficer
Joined: 8/8/2011
Msg: 12
not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:55:38 PM
I wouldn't date someone without a cell phone. Let's talk about 'context'. Most women won't even date a man without a CAR! Many won't date one without a PLACE! More still want said men to still have enough money to treat them to a date.

Me personally...I don't date women without cars who live with their parents. I wouldn't begin to consider one without a cell at our age.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 13
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not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/12/2012 11:43:28 PM
I'd date someone without a cell phone. Would probably make for less drama. No chance to misconstrue texts. I might actually get to TALK to them instead.
 leanco
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 14
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not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/13/2012 1:16:28 AM
I've never had a cell phone, don't want and don't need.

I've also read that some women would not date a man without a cell, on the assumption that he's either married or worse, can't afford one. If I get rejected like that in real life, I would probably thank her for not wasting our time.

As far as communications being more difficult as the OP puts it, I think it's exactly the opposite. So many people involve themselves with idle chatters and mindless texting that real conversations no longer stand out. I wholeheartedly agree with Message #6, which pointed out that cell phones promote speaking without thinking, and the false sense of being 'plugged in'. Also Message #8, where the poster spoke of responsibility and dependability. Yeah, it seems so many people these days resort to their cell phones to overcompensate their lack of punctuality, or to just simply be "fashionably late".

Not a cell phone wouldn't be a deal breaker to me. Quite the contrary, she may even be a gem.
 surfaceofficer
Joined: 8/8/2011
Msg: 15
not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/13/2012 2:05:27 AM

, a man that has a cell phone contract, no pay as you go phones.

In a million years, ill never get why women tell men EXACTLY what lies to tell them right in their profiles.

At LEAST force them to come up with their own original material.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 16
not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/13/2012 5:42:31 AM
While I have a cell, I only give the number out to people I have met and actually liked.

I dont sit on it and respond to texts and calls within minutes, unless it was my job trying to reach me. I have a seperate alert for when calls from my job so I know right away.

Many men dont like that.

Im not a dog on some leash that needs to be tethered.

The men who insist on me texting them constantly are not the type of men I like anyways so it is no loss to me if some dude demands I use a cell and I dont comply.

I prefer to live my life, seeing the people I care for and speaking to them directly. While the speed at which we can communicate these days on these tools we now have is great, it is not how I live day to day. I have dated and would again date a man who didnt have a cell, if I were still looking. There really isnt anything that cannot wait til he is at home on his landline. I dont have 'emergencies' on a regular basis that I need to communicate because I lead a stable life surrounded by non drama kings/queens...and the men I like best live a similiar lifestyle, so there just is no need to text each other constantly.

Also, many folks are coming to the realization that the cost of a cell is not worth the value. If a man chooses to dump his cell and go back to just a land line, I applaud the notion of cutting back expenses that are not needed. Too many people have cell phones and cannot afford food. Tell me how that makes sense.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 17
not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/13/2012 5:58:05 AM
LOL..whew that is a good one.

Son, you may be bought and sold, waiting in line for your bar code tattoo but some of us remember what being a living, breathing, human being used to be like.

I hate cell phones and I don't think much more of the zombies who live their lives with their heads down and their faces illuminated in blue light.

What a frickin' hoot!

(I suppose drinking water that didn't come out of a plastic bottle would be a deal-breaker too?)
 Kariann71
Joined: 4/26/2011
Msg: 18
not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/13/2012 6:13:06 AM
I still have mixed feelings about cellphones.

On one hand, I love gadgets and having new toys to play with. I also like knowing that if I get stranded somewhere then help is just a phone call away without me having to wander around looking for a payphone.

On the negative end, it is annoying to make yourself available 24/7. Heaven forbid you can't be contacted for a few hours. I have some friends who actually think I'm ignoring them on purpose if I don't answer calls or texts after a certain amount of time. Sometimes I just want some alone time, you know? I don't feel the need to be "plugged in" every moment of the day, losing all sense of privacy and making my every thought available to everyone. Sometimes you just need to go off the grid for a bit to save your sanity. :)

So no, not having a cellphone isn't a deal breaker for me personally.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 19
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not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/13/2012 7:15:09 AM
I have a cellphone for emergencies away from home. I live in a low-lying area surrounded by hills, and the reception is sketchy, at best. I'll have my landline until technology resolves that situation, and until a cell phone is made where the sound and voice quality equals that of a landline phone. Hasn't happened yet.

I don't text. Not because of the poor cell reception where I live, but because I don't want to. Texting is a poor form of communication (if you can call it that), and I refuse to give in to the electronic tether. I'm not going to get into exchanges of inane messages and have some nut get pissed because I don't reply immediately when I'm busy doing something else.

I tell women up front that I don't text. If not texting is a dealbreaker, so be it. See ya. I'm not interested, anyway.
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 3/6/2009
Msg: 20
not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/13/2012 7:41:12 AM
Why can't we use wing dats instead of cheesy anagrams.It would definetly add a lot more character
to messages.The roads would be alot more risky.
Come to think of it,maybe a coloring book app! AS one post mentioned zombies with blue faces
It would probablly sound better as quasi dead geriatric zombies.Land lines are still the best.
 christyis4real
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 21
not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/13/2012 8:15:47 AM
Dealbreaker...no. Only because I don't revolve my life around a cellphone. :)
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 22
not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/13/2012 8:38:56 AM
I don't have a landline.
I have a cellphone.
I can't imagine not having a cellphone.
I don't text, and I don't have tons of people calling me.

I also can't imagine being without a computer or debit
card, or a car.

But that's just me.

I like technology. I like living in the here and now.

It might not be a dealbreaker, but personally, I like being
in touch with people I'm close to. I like to know I can get
a hold of them in an emergency.

People who are attached to their phones and text non stop
give everyone with cellphones a bad name. Of course the same
could be said for people that are on their computer 24/7.

Not for me to judge.
 galinvt42
Joined: 10/30/2011
Msg: 23
not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/13/2012 1:42:48 PM
I would say it's not a dealbreaker if they don't have one, but at the same time, I would wonder why not. Eventually it would annoy me that I can never call them, it's always them calling me, then I would wonder what they were hiding and why... At the end I would feel maybe they are unobtainable and move on.
 TheLongSpring
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 24
not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/13/2012 2:58:17 PM
Only old people don't have cell phones now
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 25
not a cellphone a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/13/2012 4:04:18 PM

Only old people don't have cell phones now


Probably cause old shiats still know what the word "communication" actually means. One of the major problems with cel phones nowadays is people don't know how to "plan" as well, cause, well, they got a cel phone and any "emergency" supposedly can be quickly "solved" by a quick call. How about thinking and planning before heading out the door????? I'm stunned at how many times I have workers with their phones to the ears instead of "working". Everytime I ask em what's up(thinking an actual emergency happened) they tell me the wife forgot to tell them to pick up something or just forgot to mention,well, something.

And to let ya know, my kid,at 21 shuts her phone off for a weekend every once in awhile,cause, already she is getting tired of the constant contact and so called communication with phuck all actually being said. Just a bunch of noise sayin nuttin. BUT,,,,she's told is always sooooooooooo very "important". It ain't,cause she's still alive.
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