Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Sex and relationship      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Sillyandserious
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 1
view profile
History
Sex and relationshipPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Dude! They deleted my post under relationship issues....which I thought was a better place for this question.
Anyway....let me try this again...

I have issues with finding a man who can 'keep up' with my high sex drive. There seems to be no way to handle this. In many ways I wish I could find out if a guy is a match sexually before becoming emotionally involved.
I am not a nympho...or a sex addict. Just a girl who happens to want it often. I would be happy getting sex daily...but I would be perfectly satisfied with every other day.
Things tend to work two ways. I either meet these awesome great guys...who have little/no sex drive. Or men who only want to hook-up.

I have thought about bringing this up early on...but most of the time all men would hear is HOOK UP.

Is it possible to find a nice guy who has a touch of perv/nympho in his blood?
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 2
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 4:52:08 PM
Well now that you posted this in the sex forum you will have LOTS of men contacting you.

You do know that don't you?

Great way to advertise.
 hellheaven
Joined: 3/21/2012
Msg: 3
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 5:01:36 PM
You are in your sexual prime. Men your age are actually losing testosterone and sex drive. Sorry it happens
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 4
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 5:07:48 PM
Because it's deemed as attention seeking - i.e. you are self-promoting which is against the forum rules. Re-posting it will just tick off the people who have to follow behind you and clear up the threads as you are making more mess for them to deal with.
 Sillyandserious
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 5:12:36 PM
Thanks for the answer.

For what it is worth....not attention seeking....just straight up honest.

I find it ironic that dudes can post stuff like this and it will get 75 replies....but if a girl posts something like this (as a legit question)...it is attention seeking....blah blah blah.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 5:39:49 PM
^^ cuz she doesn't want to hook up with a few guys......
she wants a committed relationship with frequent sex.

I, for one, can completely understand her situation......as I have yet to meet a man my age that wants it as frequently as I do.
And no, I don't want a younger man....which always seems to be the answer most commonly given in these forums!!
 Abbbey12345
Joined: 5/22/2012
Msg: 7
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 5:48:27 PM
Hard to believe men your age don't want it at least every other day in a new relationship. That does not seem excessive at all. A man 5 years younger than you may work.
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 8
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 5:51:36 PM

cuz she doesn't want to hook up with a few guys......
she wants a committed relationship with frequent sex

I agree MsMicki...harder to find than you'd think. In my experience, guys my age love to give the speech about being "at a point in my life where I just want to have fun." I can translate...we'll be doing it when he feels like it & he'll also be with pretty much anyone else he wants, regardless of whether or not I'm satisfied. :(
 chosefun
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 5:54:33 PM
Agree MsMicki. I am 51, have a high sex drive, like OP would like every other day. I have finally met my match..haha I think. He has kicked it up a notch because he stated he's afraid of losing me (no chance). He's a great lover and I think that's part of the increase in my drive. I don't want a younger man either...just someone who is as into me as I him. OP keep searching.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 6:01:39 PM
my guy is "close" to my match.......but not quite!!
Best sex of my life.....and I've always said..."the better I get it the more I want it!"
But he definately doesn't need it as often as I would like to have it!!
He also worries I will look elsewhere......

I agree.....OP........keep searching!
and yes, it is acceptable to discuss you sexual needs early on before you get emotionally attached....
 4408joseph
Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 6:15:31 PM
OMG MsMicki, I so thought of you when OP posted...

Yes , you girls are preaching to the choir.. I too would love to have a Long Term single partner that can keep up..

I was married to a sex addict, and while we had sex no less then 12-15 times a week for a decade, and 25-30 times a week the first couple years, she never pulled an equal half..

Bless her sole, as a elevator,traffic jam, motorcycle ride,in the snow, under water, etc etc etc was all good and excited, but when it came down to hours of the show down she was usually staring at the ceiling or moaning into a pollow...Again, bless her sole but she never had the wind or stamina...So excitement and the fact that she preferred 20 ,20min sessions a week worked out great. I'd prefer 3, 3 hour sessions, but she couldn't hang.

Befor marriarge I ran with a good number of FB and FWB, and normally this group has a much higher sex drive. And then again we seem to get back to the longer sessions having ME doing the work..Don't get me wrong, but GUYS don't always control the clock..

I said that to say this...In my experience I have found very few that can keep up on the long end... OP has nothing in her profile that leads me to belive she has hang time. Lots of sex requires to be in GREAT SHAPE .. A runner, cyclist, hiker, tennis player, swimmer, etc.... If OP expected to play the roll of "Driving Ms Dasiy" I can tell you from a man that has a strong sex drive... it gets old fast... It makes sex and fun, NOW ...SEX is another job...As with the X ...

I can not speak for any other guy and sex is a complex issue that is both physcial and MENTAL.

The last person I had a sexually relationship with was hot, great in all aspects, wanted in everyday and long.But fact was being 45,smoking,office worker sex often was like banging a dead fish.

So OP, while there is no way to know a sex drive without actually practicing it.. and of course the "RABBIT HABIT" will die down after time and running out of options.

But food for thought... With the next guy try first few weeks of pulling the whole work load.. In other words let him kick back, while to get on top,reverse wheel barrow, butterfly or any other positon where he can take the back seat so to say... Then maybe try to do the 50/5o on the physcial end...

Again I can't speak for any other guy, but I can tell you for a fact just about every single woman over 40 I've met that wants it more then couple times a week can not and will not keep up.

Good luck to ya
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 6:30:02 PM
hmmmm Joe......not sure that is a good thing or a bad thing! LOL

you said you prefer "3, 3 hour sessions" in a week.......that would be perfect for me!!
I much prefer long, slow, I do you - you do me, we do each other, drawn out sessions over a bunch of "quickies".....
and yes....20 minutes is a quickie to me!!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 13
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 6:47:34 PM
~OP~ I really don't have an answer for how you find someone such as you seek, but I will mention that someone I love dearly is newly single and she had been in a marriage that was sexless for a very long time. She really really was missing the touch of a man. She asked what I thought ~ I said, "Just be honest about what you want." She wanted someone to have dinner with, enjoy time doing social things once in a while and she wanted wicked good sex and lots of it. He landed in her inbox here on POF, she laid it out, he laid it out. They met and that was that. She found exactly what she was looking for simply by putting herself out there, being honest that she wasn't seeking "love" or necessarily longevity, but she did want only ONE partner and he should feel the same. They're now doing all sorts of fun stuff and having a lot of sex. Neither needs to discuss the "exclusivity" of the sex because it was discussed before they met. I'm a little "awed" at how easily she found what she was looking for. I'd be happy with a man who wanted me to cook him dinner. We all want different things, just be honest and see what happens. Good luck to ya.
 SSC-SAF
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 14
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:01:31 PM
I agree totally with the OP and MsMicki. I don't want several guys for fun, I want one guy for the real thing. Finding the hookup dudes is not difficult, but that's not the answer...
 BigSwede34207
Joined: 5/18/2012
Msg: 15
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:04:24 PM
YOU NEED to get-in-touch with what should be your-best pure-sexual "partner" you will ever have ....YOURSELF !
 SSC-SAF
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 16
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:07:07 PM
^^^ That's not only an extremely condescending and ignorant statement, it's like saying that if a woman did so, she would never want a man. Sorry, but that's so not true.

Why would you assume that the OP, or any of the rest of us, are not "in touch with" our own sexuality?

Do you prefer Miss Rosy Palm to a real live woman?

 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:08:19 PM
Option 4) keep searching till she finds her perfect match

Settling for the 3 options provided would be.......well.......settling! And obviously she is not willing to settle!
and from these posts.......I'd say most women aren't willing to settle either!!
 BigSwede34207
Joined: 5/18/2012
Msg: 18
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:15:30 PM
"""""""Do you prefer Miss Rosy Palm to a real live woman?""""""

You are really NAIVE ... there is that "sexual feeling" ...and then there is true-intimacy.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 19
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:25:21 PM

YOU NEED to get-in-touch with what should be your-best pure-sexual "partner" you will ever have ....YOURSELF !

K!! I'm confused. You're telling this woman she's her own best sexual partner then you argue:

You are really NAIVE ... there is that "sexual feeling" ...and then there is true-intimacy.

WTH? You're advocating for the OP to go the masturbation route ~ but are upset someone questions if that's the best route for you??

Wow.
 SSC-SAF
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 20
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:59:33 PM

You are really NAIVE ... there is that "sexual feeling" ...and then there is true-intimacy.

Really? I'm "naive" because your posts make no sense? I don't know about "true-intimacy"? I'm going to assume that you cannot communicate very well, but MY assumption is based on actual evidence.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:59:48 PM

He landed in her inbox here on POF, she laid it out, he laid it out. They met and that was that. She found exactly what she was looking for simply by putting herself out there, being honest that she wasn't seeking "love" or necessarily longevity, but she did want only ONE partner and he should feel the same.


Miss Greeneyze? I humbly bow down to you and your advice! It is such a shame that folks simply can't cut to the chase so to speak. And even when you do, some won't agree to just the "one" partner....sigh....
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 22
view profile
History
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 8:01:55 PM

I can translate...we'll be doing it when he feels like it & he'll also be with pretty much anyone else he wants,
.....another true statement. I am finding this thread quite refreshing actually....least I am not alone in my thinking! Thanks ladies!
 meowkatt2012
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 23
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 8:30:24 PM
I dated a few guys my age and the sex really was not up to what I wanted. I then started with the young FWB and left this site for another 3 yrs ago. I had some of the best sex of my life i came like i never knew i could so.much and so.good, and if I had a sexual bucket list it wld be just abt empty. It. Really wasn't frequently but guality and quantity at one time
The fun, eagerness. Multiple orgasms for the guys and just their fun personaiws
There were a couple where feelings starting coming.up for us both but we knew it couldn't. Be.e
Now I'm worried that after the last three years I got so.spoiled. if I could have a serious relationship. With a guy my agevand a couple of 29-30 yr old I'd be good. BUT I'm not a cheater.
 mtluggage
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 24
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 8:45:56 PM

Now I'm worried that after the last three years I got so.spoiled. if I could have a serious relationship.

^^^ And that is why men your age usually won't take you seriously. They are aware of the fallout of women being cougars. It doesn't mean the woman is not deserving of a relationship, it means that men your age know you will be comparing - it's not a good place for meaningful sex.

In my case, I had a very active and very fulfilling sex life with my partner. She was in her prime and I knew that. So, to keep her happy and content we had some sort of sexual activity almost every night. I became very adept at getting her to orgasm as often as she wanted. That included picking her up at lunchtime to get her to orgasm. In bed she wanted to masturbate while laying beside me. While she pleasured herself I would usually carress sensitive parts of her body to heighten the pleasure. It was a very good sex life it's just too bad things didn't work out between us (financially).
 coyotefeller
Joined: 11/12/2011
Msg: 25
Sex and relationship
Posted: 6/12/2012 8:49:06 PM
Seems like some of the women here could
function well in a Menage a 3 or 4... even !

But no doubt lots of good satisfying, wear
me out sex with the right person is the
way to go! :) (my vote)
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Sex and relationship