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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender .      Home login  
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 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 2
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Alas. I agree with the ladies here. Men are simple creatures. Women in the other hand are complicated and the more one reads and tries to understands, the more I have learned that I don't know splat.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 3
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If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 9:21:52 AM
Ahaha, you are kidding, right?

Men taking on the same thought patterns, and, God forbid, EMOTIONS as women? Oh heck no, one of the things I love about men is that they are straight forward and easy to understand, and, if they're healthy, their emotions are steady, solid, and in check. This is unbelievably soothing to my feminine psyche.

I love women, but I think a man is the perfect creature to balance me out.

It helped to read up some on them, but now that I have it's all become clear as daylight.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 4
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 9:22:51 AM
People have to quit trying to label to understand. They just need to learn the person themselves FOR themselves. Otherwise the labels make us see things in people we often manufacture so that they "fit" our label.
Not understanding we are retranslating their words into a language they did not intend

A major evolutionary default function of the frontal lobes IS pattern recognition, without conscious effort the brain DOES attempt to fit things/people into labels/types. It was how the tribal groups managed to survive socially and physically when strangers approached..
IF we *think* we can find enough commonalities with a stranger, then we can relax a bit more and not constantly fret they may rob/kill us with a rock or spear at the earliest opportunity.


many if not most heterosexual people would not want it that way. ... IMHO


Now many if not most people may understand why Finding and Maintaining a compatible long-term SO relationship IS
the second greatest challenge in life,

since success REQUIRES sharing about 50% power/control with another imperfectly understood, different agenda/possibly barely complementary mixed-up imperfect human being such as yourself...
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 7
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 9:54:03 AM
I don't think my ability to understand a person has anything to do with their gender. There are both men and women that are simple and read like open books---and conversely, there are both men and women that are more complex and difficult for me to read.
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 8
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If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 10:16:02 AM
gay people say it doesnt make it any easier... and I hear lesbians say it can be worse.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 10
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 10:30:06 AM

The all women are and all men are concepts have been propagated falsely for the last 2000+ years. Mostly by people who didn't want major social upheavals. Also by many of the men in power in their dfays that didnt want to see their power usurped by a woman....


There are of course no absolutes, but with that said, there are behaviors and tendencies that tend to be more common in one sex than the other, and hold more often than not to be true.

It's like saying that all women are shorter than men. Percentage wise women tend to be shorter then men, but there are also women that are over 6 foot tall, and there are men that are 4.8 and so on.

Men tend to be attracted by visual stimulation, while women tend to be attracted to character. That does not mean that women does not like a good looking guy, or a guy attracted to how a woman handles herself. Or when you hear that women do not want you to solve their problems, they just want your empathy. They are generalizations that for the most part tend to be true, yet there are always exceptions to the rule.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 11
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If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 11:05:02 AM
The same genders are just as much alike as they are different, and so is the same true of opposite genders. People are not alike because of their gender anymore than they are different because of their gender. People are individuals, you can't lump people together like that.

Some people like the conflict of being with someone they find hard to understand, others like the comfort of being understood and understanding who they are with. It's the individuals choice to pick the kind of dynamics they enjoy in relationships, no one is going to stick around unless they are getting something out of the dynamics. Positive or negative, it's always the choice of the individual, no matter how they may protest.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 12
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 11:07:43 AM

Perhaps from a different angle, what IF the opposite sex all of a sudden took on the SAME emotions & thought patterns as our own gender?? .....

OY! If this were to happen, I'd join the Catholic church and become a "Bride of Jesus" (as in a Nun.) There is no way I'd want to even attempt to understand men if they suddenly turned chic-ish. I get men, women on the other hand? I stopped trying to understand them near puberty. It's just too taxing to try (at least for me.) JMO
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 14
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 1:20:50 PM

Anyways, sorry for the long post. None of this is really provable or anything, but its the way I see things.



Good stimulating exchange. In some areas we may agree, in others disagree and in others is more semantics of what you may call something vs what I may call it.

If you read any evolutionary psychology you would understand that the difference between men and woman run deeper than simply biology. We have evolved through different strategies to survive and to move our gene pull to the next generation.

By the simple fact that men's reproductive mechanism to totally different than women. Men produce sperm all the time , thus has the need to get rid of that sperm to make more room for more sperm. While women have a finite number of eggs that they produce through their entire life. Men by evolution went out and hunted, and later on became a hunter of other humans, so men feel comfortable in a pack, like uniforms, sports and physical activity. While women have much better interpersonal skills, are much better negotiators because they had to learn to keep her nest of children intact in the tribe, and they became nurturers.

Again I am not trying to speak in absolutes, but that is why a large majority of men men love sports, and a large majority of women love romance novels. Yes, there are men and women that like the other, but they are not the primary audiences.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 15
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If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 1:38:15 PM
Ok, if you want to talk about biology, only, there significant differences between male and female brains, both structural and chemical in nature, that affect how men and women process everything, especially language and emotions.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 16
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 2:04:41 PM

So, let me lift my coffee up to understanding the opposite sex. May we manage Harmony together, and somehow...live to tell the tale LOL


Let's just not do it in "E" Harmony.

LOL
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 17
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 2:07:58 PM
People, male or female, aren't difficult to understand. Even when I say, "I don't understand," 99% of the time, I do--it's a rhetorical statement.
 lookingforsophia
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 18
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If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 2:32:41 PM

Ok, if you want to talk about biology, only, there significant differences between male and female brains, both structural and chemical in nature, that affect how men and women process everything, especially language and emotions.


Girls always seemed to win the spelling bees in school.
They played a good game of Jacks too; but never wanted to arm wrestle.

Endocrines and
Emotions??
'Nobody knows the way of the Wind or carribou.' as the Eskimo say.
 lookingforsophia
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 19
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If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 3:02:24 PM
A ngelic mermaids
N uns for you
I ndependent dependable moms
M erciful
A gents of Love or
S uccubi

A morous knights of chivalry
N utty professors or
I nsistant pests
M onkeyman's
U nkempt uber
S lobs
 Sillyandserious
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 20
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If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 3:22:03 PM
I understand what you are saying....and I have thought the same thing more than once.

BUT according to my sister (who is gay) she said dating is the same no matter what team you play for. She has run into all the same issues. Being a girl (and having an understanding of girls) has provided her with no advantage in dating.
So I am not sure having a sudden enlightened understanding of the opposite sex is going to necessarily change things.

PS....men baffle me.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 22
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If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 4:00:27 PM
Though there are plenty of differences, I find tremendous irony, in the fact that at least half of what goes wrong, and shows up in these forums, is due to each gender expecting the other to be different, in situations and in manners in which they are actually the same.
 lookingforsophia
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 23
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If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 4:21:33 PM
I don't read alot; but google Images has some nice pictures of Plato's Charioteer.

Even The Lord Krishna and Prince Arjuna are portrayed as seated in a grand chariot yoked with white horses (Bhagavad Gita 1.14)

My horses are getting a lil grey ☻☺
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 25
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 5:17:56 PM
I honestly don't believe in gender differences. Of course I didn't write the Mars/Venus books either. I do think there are tendencies, but actual gender differences....nah. I think we're all more alike than different, whether it's gender, age, pick a social group....

What would be the purpose of understanding a whole gender? Unless you're REALLY active, you only date one person at a time. I find that takes up enough of my time and energy, just one at a time. If more of us focused on the ONE individual we're interacting with and disregard the gender crapola, it'd serve a far greater advantage.

Gender differences......ugh......will someone pass the Koolaid?
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 26
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 5:33:21 PM
If women were more like men.....
dating would be easier and more sensible.
and EVERYBODY would be getting laid alot more.
:-P

but as you ladies are not....
I guess we will just have to make do.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 28
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 7:04:22 PM
I think there's a lot of merit in Maslow's heirarchy of needs. It makes plain old good common sense, but I DO fail to see how it related to the topic.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 29
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 7:18:38 PM

I believe in Maslow's heirarchy.


Yeap, I believe in this too. Also about the personality types. This is more research stuff and there are 7 personality types. And this applies to men and women regardless.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 30
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 7:26:22 PM
"And this applies to men and women regardless." Exactly, that's why I was wondering how it related to the thread, which IS about gender differences. I thought maybe I was just slow on the uptake.....
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 31
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If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 12:09:07 AM

My guess is: Despite the classic complaints of "All men/ women are such & such", many if not most heterosexual people would not want it that way. ... IMHO, the very fact that men & women think differently is also the very reason why we are drawn to one another. ...... As in the Chinese Yin-Yang theory, it is these two polar opposites that complement one another and need the other for balance.

We're different because we evolved that way; historically, males and females had very different roles and responsibilities, and we became the way we are because it was the best combination of traits and behaviors to have our offspring survive. Most are intelligent enough to adapt should our mate die; we're still able to take care of our kids. But it works best when there are more than one person doing that job. The whole 'it takes a village' concept, where like minded people also help watch over other people's children has helped mankind tremendously.
But it would be much easier if we did think more alike in today's world; a great deal of confusion ensues during our mating and intimate relationships, because we see, and interpret the world around us, as well as each other's actions, differently. Of course, there are advantages to each gender's observation skills and deductive capabilities, so there's really no 'one' better way of seeing and doing things.
Viva la difference!
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 32
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 2:05:04 AM
I don't understand either gender. A lot of my male friends have a decent woman, a baby's mother, a fiance, etc., yet they still want to have someone else too. They really don't seem to think anything of it. It makes it hard for the guys who would be loyal, and treat a woman well. Women do the same thing. When I talk to these so-called players, they act like they are more lonely than I am.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 35
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If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 5:37:02 AM
JSNC7:


I know of only 1, possibly 2 men who shoot their mouth off, before engaging their brain.


Sarcasm? Or have you just never heard of a little town called Washington D.C.?
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