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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Reesesinmiami
Joined: 3/22/2012
Msg: 1
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profilePage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I came on POF to take the chemistry test because a friend said it was cool. I had heard that my current boyfriend had been on POF before. I searched for him and found him with an active profile seeking a relationship. What should be by next move?
 One_Can_Dream
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 2
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 8:24:14 AM
i would say.... Na na na na, na na na na. Hey hey hey, Goodbye
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 3
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History
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 8:27:47 AM
I once met a guy on POF, and dated him for a while - he started talking about future marriage, yada yada. I went away on a trip to visit my sister, and when I came back found he'd used my computer to access (or start?) his POF account under a different name. So I created a profile and emailed him to find out if he'd mention me - he didn't, he declared himself single and unattached, when I asked him directly. So, we parted ways.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 4
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 8:35:31 AM

I came on POF to take the chemistry test because a friend said it was cool.


Oh, yeah, it’s the coolest.

In fact, there is no other reason to be on PoF. It’s not like you take a chemistry test and then try out the results or anything. ; )

I’d contact him with my sexy new profile just to let him know I’m not sitting around waiting for his sorry cheating ass.


ETA

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv Who said anything about a FAKE profile? He's got one; why can't she?


Now I'm gonna lose my emoticon formatting. : (
 CueT314
Joined: 2/5/2012
Msg: 5
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 8:37:59 AM

Dump him a cheater is a cheater. Thats fishy and there is no acceptable explanation


There are plenty of explanations - such as the one she herself had for coming here in the first place while she is in a relationship. Did you even bother to check and see when he was last active? Might be an old profile he forgot about and didn't bother deleting after he started dating you. Might just be holding onto it to talk with friends or read through forum posts, or gee, ask for advice just as you yourself just did.

Be an adult and simply ask him about it.

Making fake profiles to try and trick someone or catch them being naughty is pointless and childish. Grow up and be an adult and simply talk to them about your concerns. If you can't talk to them you shouldn't be in an adult relationship with them anyway.
 Broomhilda_the_Nun
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 6
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 8:40:51 AM
If he were up to hooky-pooky, he could easily have hidden his profile so you'd never have found it.

What do you mean by "active" profile?
Active as in not deleted? Maybe he didn't bother to go back and close out all old profiles from dating sites
or
he's active in continuing to seek women for dating, and if so how do you know this?

Nice try, but the extraneous baloney about the chemistry test isn't going to distract from you having an account yourself, and using it to spy on him. Do not let me find out that you two are not even exclusive.

If you were here to spy because some other behavior has tipped you off that he might be lying/cheating, then directly asking him might not be the ideal solution, i.e., he might lie. But (answering what I would do) I'd ask him anyway... not by text or in a cute POF mail, but F2F.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 7
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 8:44:28 AM

I came on POF to take the chemistry test because a friend said it was cool.


Yeah, and I'm here for the intelligent conversation and the amazingly bright people that live in our society.

No. Really. I do.

The two of you sound perfect each other,so I personally wouldn't do a thing if I were you. Just carry on,taking those cool tests and stuff.
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 8
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 8:45:27 AM

I came on POF to take the chemistry test because a friend said it was cool.


bahahahaha, and there we have the new millennium equivalent of "I buy Playboys just for the articles."
 amore01
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 9
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 8:49:16 AM
pass the popcorn...
 purfectmeow
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 10
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 8:50:21 AM
Yanno I date and still have an account here thats active. The thing is Im not committed.
When I am my page usually goes poof.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 11
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 8:51:54 AM


There are plenty of explanations - such as the one she herself had for coming here in the first place while she is in a relationship. Did you even bother to check and see when he was last active? Might be an old profile he forgot about and didn't bother deleting after he started dating you. Might just be holding onto it to talk with friends or read through forum posts, or gee, ask for advice just as you yourself just did.

Be an adult and simply ask him about it.

Making fake profiles to try and trick someone or catch them being naughty is pointless and childish. Grow up and be an adult and simply talk to them about your concerns. If you can't talk to them you shouldn't be in an adult relationship with them anyway.


I agree a 110%..why is it because its a guys profile does everyone assume he is a cheater? A few months ago there where two threads about the same thing. One was a woman complaining about her boyfriend still being on POF and the other was a guy complaining about his girlfriend still being on POF. You know which one was considered a cheater more? The guy of course. For the woman that had the profile there where explanations like the one I quoted. And if you thought any differently you was deemed and damned to being negative.

But the other side the man still having a profile up if you said anything but he is a cheater you was deemed and damned for not seeing the "light"...didn't you know ALL men are cheaters?

I say check when the profile was created, when last online...etc...if its been a while more than likely he forgot about it. But if its been recently activated and active then you might have a problem...but why the POF for yourself? I hate snoopers its so annoying to me...if I found out you did that I would break it off...isn't that the advice that a woman would get if he snooped on her?
 Extollere
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 12
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 8:56:01 AM
About as cool as Richard Simmons' striped shorts. Definitely not worth making a profile over.


I’d contact him with my sexy new profile just to let him know I’m not sitting around waiting for his sorry cheating ass.


Love this idea. Alternatively, you could find him on Meet Me and click Yes. Change your username to "YourLovingGF" first.
 smarternudumbernmost
Joined: 5/25/2012
Msg: 13
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 9:08:22 AM
I'm just curious.
Your join date is almost 30 days ago.
So you took the test 30 days ago, and I assume you found your boyfriend on that day.
Because that's what you came here for, and you did it, so no other reason to stick around.
So basically you've known about this for the past 30 days and have done nothing about it.
And you haven't changed your behavior one iota from before.
And he hasn't noticed any changes in your behavior or how he sees you for the past 30 days.

So you have this seemingly big dark secret hanging over you, but your relationship hasn't changed at all.

And in 30 days you haven't figured out what you should do.
And you haven't talked to him about it, in the last 30 days.

So

What should be by next move?

Nothing.
Do absolutely nothing at all.
I mean your relationship hasn't changed in 30 days.
And this seems to be the only "problem."
And you seem to be happy enough to have stuck around for the last 30 days.
So why is there a need for a "move?"
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 14
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 9:18:35 AM

I had heard that my current boyfriend had been on POF before. I searched for him...

And here we have the real reason why you came to POF.

Chemistry tests, personality tests, etc. can be found all over the net.
No need to join here to do one, lol.

As for the thread's question...
1. If I had a man with whom I (and he) decided to be in an exclusive relationship, there would be no looking around behind his back on my part because I wouldn't BE in such a relationship if there was not a bond of trust.

2. If something came up to make me wonder about our trust.. I'd talk to him because there would be a line of open communication already in place or else I wouldn't BE in the relationship of 'boyfriend/girlfriend'.
 SmartSarcasticSweet
Joined: 4/15/2012
Msg: 15
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 9:22:46 AM
It's interesting that your first line defends your reason for being on POF, but yet the second line gets mad at your boyfriend. Opening a dating profile for the purposes of taking a chemistry test is completely ridiculous. Neither of you is obviously invested in your relationship, and you should both cut your losses. You could try talking about it like mature adults, but in both of your cases I don't think that would work.
 ShelbySask4friend1
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 16
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 9:25:33 AM
Maybe he is taking the "chemistry test" as well, because a friend told him it was cool,lol...
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 17
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 9:26:23 AM
Here's the bottom line, if you ask him about why his profile is on here, be prepared to tell him why yours is. It's not about how many of those on the forums believe you or don't, it's a matter of whether each of you believes what the other says. That's what will determine how this plays out.
 trinity818
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 18
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 9:44:57 AM
I'm curious about something. Did you discover his profile 3 months ago when you joined? Or was it recently? Your join date doesn't quite jive with your post.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 19
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 9:58:44 AM

Love this idea. Alternatively, you could find him on Meet Me and click Yes. Change your username to "YourLovingGF" first.


Snap!
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 20
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 10:16:06 AM
COMMUNICATION
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 21
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 10:21:40 AM
for starters why are you still calling him your boyfriend??
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 22
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 10:21:43 AM
If you had a profile here already, that's a little different slant. The fact that you created one after finding out your "man" had one here, chemistry schmemistry....you've painted yourself into a corner. You should have gone to him first, if you can't bring things like that up, that speaks to the quality of your "relationship".
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 23
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History
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 11:00:28 AM
Why do people go so out of their way to make up a story as to how they just happened to find out their lover is cheating? Just say you found out they were cheating, if you snooped, don't make up a silly story no one, not one, believes. LOL

Then you wonder what to do? You found out the person is cheating, dump them and move on. Unless you like drama and want to make up another story about how to get them to confess and then somehow love you so much they change. Come on, he's cheating or looking to cheat, you were snooping and looking to catch, now what do you really want to do? No one here should have to tell you what you should do.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 24
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 11:08:53 AM
Ask him about it. It's possible that he is here just for the forums.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 25
What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile
Posted: 6/17/2012 2:15:21 PM
Why not email him and ask.
:-P
sometimes the direct approach is best.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > What should you do if you find your boyfried created a POF profile