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 AUTHOR
 Hybridized
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 2
Avaiable man over 30Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I'd say there are plenty out there. I fall into that category (though I don't want to have any kids).

Though, I will say "normal" seems pretty subjective to me. I mean, I've met some people who it doesn't take much to be considered "abnormal" to them. Maybe your definition of "normal" is too narrow. Same goes for morals. These are hardly static things. The more constrained your ideals, the more of a hard time you're going to have, I'd think.

Also, getting all demanding about job and living situations post-recession (and in Upstate New York too boot... LOL, I grew up there, it's an economic vacuum) isn't gonna make a young person's search for a mate necessarily easier, either.
 rafabel
Joined: 12/4/2010
Msg: 3
Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/18/2012 1:19:11 PM
That is me, but I am a single dad. If interested, please reply :)
 brian0417
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 5
Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/18/2012 2:36:22 PM
Guys like myself and others are out there all over the place. My best guess is that the guys that have all of the qualities that you are looking for you don't have "chemistry" with, which generally translates into them just not being able to get you all hot and bothered as soon as you lay your eyes on them.

From my experience, the higher the quality the guy, the more likely they tend to be single. Anytime I meet a guy that does drugs and goes to strip clubs and can't afford his car, he ALWAYS has girls hanging off of him.

But, my guess is you are in the same boat as me. When a girl is really, really into me, I don't see the chemistry either. Which in guy terms translates to just not being attracted to her.

I bet this threat gets deleted, though.
 Hybridized
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 6
Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/18/2012 2:39:29 PM
Wow... I think the girl is a bit confused and her expectations might be a little limiting (again, based on her location and the realities of the market now) but I hardly think it's a troll post. You people need to chill your itchy trigger fingers with the flagging, M'kay? Sheesh.
 Hybridized
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 8
Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/18/2012 2:57:45 PM
¯\(°_o)/¯ Keep looking I guess... each filter you add is GOING to compound your search, though... that's how statistics works.

- Unemployment/underemployment (amongst men, especially) is going to be 15%+, probably more up there... some of them deadbeats, some with career potential once the recovery happens.

- 1 in 4 under the age of 35, about 25%, have moved back in with their parents, that number will be better towards your age however.

- On the converse, MORE are going to already have kids at 30+ (I don't know the statistic offhand), so that's going to tack on.

- Players and impatient guys are going to be another factor. Probably more of those than you'd like.

- Want Catholic values, cut out a HUGE chunk of men.

I don't think people with "checklists" quite get how far and fast they fall down the continuum as they conduct themselves as such. If you think about it mathematically, your frustration makes complete sense.
 Hybridized
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 10
Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/18/2012 4:27:40 PM
¯\(°_o)/¯ Give up, then I guess... get ten cats... become a spinster.

"Never settle" is the worst advice in the world, IMHO. Especially in our culture of perceived surplus everything. Disappointmentland.

Myself, I'd far prefer spend a fair (but not insane) amount of time searching, compromising where I have to, and at least getting a decent portion of the good things one can experience in a relationship out of life... ESPECIALLY when it's minor points like, "she lives with her parents", "she doesn't have a job"... so what? Inconvenient? Maybe. Insufficient? Hardly.

Choose your own adventure.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 11
Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/18/2012 5:10:32 PM

What do the guys get if you select them? They probably want something out of the deal, too.


Shhhhhhhhhh abelian, you'll break the dream bubble!!!!! Some people forget that the "others" out there sometimes have "lists" of their own and maybe the OP is one of them. Reality is tough one to accept sometimes.
 StraylightRunn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 12
Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/18/2012 5:37:18 PM
How come every post like this from a man is universally shot down and deleted, but every "DAMSEL" in distress post we get is universally accepted?

Yes there are available "normal" men with moral values, respect, with no kids a job, a car, and a place of their own. Problem? You're not attracted to them!
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 14
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Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/18/2012 6:37:24 PM
Dont throw away POF.. just periodically check to see if the man you are describing can be found here or anywhere else.
By looking here you are giving yourself ANOTHER way to find the person you are looking for. Removing POF is one LESS avenue to find him. A smaller net catches less fish.
Best of luck in your search! :)

@hybridized
I love this emoticon!
¯\(°_o)/¯
 StraylightRunn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 15
Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/18/2012 6:45:54 PM
You got 2 degrees but you have a hard time spelling out coherent sentences. I'm not saying these guys are "Unattractive" or "Unfit" although it's natural you'd assume that. I'm simply stating that you're not attracted to them, most likely because they're nice guys and they aren't married. Don't blame everyone else for YOUR problems. If a man gets on here and complains about how women are shallow or blah blah blah, guess what? Everyone tells him to shut up and grow a pair. My advice to you is the same. SHUT UP stop whining, accept that YOU are the problem and not the WORLD.
 cttnpony1
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 16
Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/18/2012 6:47:42 PM
If the question is, "are there great men on Pof over 30"? I have to say, there definitely are. I have met a variety of interesting, successful, good-looking, honest men on Pof. I not actively looking anymore, but I've had a great time meeting, and for the most part, being introduced to different ideas, hobbies and sports. Thanks to all the great guys out there that have taken a chance meeting me and other women on this site. Just like we're not all crazy stalkers, you're not all sex crazed douche bags :-)
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 17
Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/18/2012 6:48:25 PM

Just wondering since I joined POF it seems like I'm running into dead ends?


OP, it's not that all the men that are on POF are dead ends, it's just the ones that you pick. you need to step back and re-evaluate your mate-search criteria. and there IS a difference between "settling" and "compromising"

years ago, i would have NEVER thought i would date a single mom. but then over the years, i've met some really good women who were/are single moms. they just happened to have run into some bad luck with dudes. am i "settling" if i date a single mom and things hit it off really well?? NO. especially considering that not alot of guys are willing to get into a situation where they are willing to raise another man's kid(s).....

that's just one example. there are others. and of course, you have to also bring the same thing to the table that you request of your potential future mate.

one thing that irritates me is that there are some people on this site that are delusional (not you OP) where they do have this insane laundry list of qualifications they want in a man. all while they themselves are a high school drop out, have 5 kids, and live on welfare (but perhaps they lot "hot"). <<-- this example is a bit extreme, but you get the idea.
 keymo77
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 20
Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/19/2012 2:38:18 PM
all of what i have been dreaming of...
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 21
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Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/19/2012 3:05:16 PM
I would say there are many on this site that would meet the OP's criteria - employed, have a car, their own place, no kids but want them. I've met several. It's just a matter of being patient, giving chances and being specific. And it helps to be able to offer in return everything you are asking for in return.

I will say though, that since it is online, spelling and grammar do count for a great deal towards getting to those meets and dates. Sorry, I understand that English is a difficult language, especially as a second or third language, but online the written word is often part of your first impression. There are programs that can help with spell/grammar checking and they can be a big help. I almost wonder if part of the problem in the OP finding a good match is that many may have a difficult time reading her contacts, or assume she may not be on the same level they are and lose interest. This is not a knock to the OP, just stating an observation since I had a difficult time reading her post and understanding them due to spelling, grammar, and sentence structure.
 Extollere
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 23
Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/19/2012 4:08:20 PM
If you maybe loosened up on the restrictions, you'd find plenty of men to date.


That's why I'm asking no point of me hanging on POF waiting for something that will never happen.


Oh. Well, there's your problem. You're waiting for something to happen. Instead, try making it happen yourself. Go pounce on a few interesting looking profiles and write some nice messages. And don't leave everything up to POF, either. What you seek can be found numerous places, both online and off.
 ehsuds
Joined: 11/6/2011
Msg: 24
Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/19/2012 10:02:27 PM

Well, there's your problem. You're waiting for something to happen. Instead, try making it happen yourself. Go pounce on a few interesting looking profiles and write some nice messages. And don't leave everything up to POF, either. What you seek can be found numerous places, both online and off.


This girl speaks the truth. Read profiles until you find some that interest you, send a message. It's not hard.
 grantfl80
Joined: 7/21/2011
Msg: 27
Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/20/2012 10:49:35 AM
I'm an available man over 30...yah I am such a rarity on a site like this. Wtf...next!

G
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 28
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Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/20/2012 4:23:29 PM

If u ever will learn other language as well as my English is then u can correct my spelling n yes I want certain qualities in man it's called being in same page n wanting same stuff n just cone ting on many levels what is a point of being with someone I'm not into


I can speak English, Castillian (Spanish), and Russian. Interestingly, I can spell correctly in all three! Your profile says you have an associates degree, but here you say you have two degrees. In what? Abelian is right, what do you have to offer the 'superman' you seek?
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 29
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Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/20/2012 5:41:48 PM
Katarzyna,
yes there are guys like that, If you seek them you will find them I know alot of them, you may not like them, your list is valid and not uncommon , it is not a superman , it seems like a common man.

I look for a normal woman here, I get no responses to my many e-mails and even less any woman initiating e-mails.

1. I have a job in the US government, I train and inspect the military, I travel a little bit, but most of the time I am home. It is a steady job and it pays go0d.
2. I have a car and several.
3. I have done alot of college, I am educated and know a variety of subjects. (except spelling is not my "forte")
4. I am over 30 ,
5, I want to get married and be married forever.
6. I have no children but would like to have children depending on what my wife wants and when.
7. I have moral values, I would rather start sex during the honeymoon if I am married, sex is not urgent for me.
8. I have a house in San Diego, a house in Mexico (party house) and a ranch property way down in mexico subtropical area.
9. I go to church on Sundays, and actually follow what I beleive.
10. I beleive I am here on earth to help a woman follow and help make her dreams come true with patience, wisdom and love to make her happy.

There are alot of guys like me in the same boat Katarzyna, it is just women like you do not really look for them or are too shy or are not really trying. I get no e-mails like everyone else.

So if you complain about not finding a man for yourself... what are you doing about it? are you looking for them or are you waiting for them to find you ? I bet if I e-mailed you, you probably would not be interested, mmm I think I e-mailed you in one of my mass blasting e-mail spurts. hehehe
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 30
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Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/20/2012 5:44:12 PM
I do not smoke and am Catholic like you are but probably too short for you.
 Extollere
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 31
Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/20/2012 6:02:06 PM

Ok at the begeming I did. But soon I realized that when I do send MSG to the guys they never reply or talk to me for a day or two n then stop. On the other hand if I get MSG from o guy most of those lead to at least meeting. I guess if a guy would find me interesting enough he would write couple of sentences. N most of u know that I'm right on that one


Welcome to the wonderful world of rejection. It happens, it hurts, it sucks, but you get over it. The alternative is to sit by your window wishing on a star that someone will magically waltz into your life. Now which one do you think will get faster results?

The thing is, if you aren't going to make the first move, you've got to at least put yourself out there to be found. That doesn't mean relying on POF to be your matchmaker, either. That means being visible in a lot of places. But even that takes time, and you're still going to get rejected (whether you know it or not).

The biggest problem with waiting around is it puts you into a passive position of being chosen, instead of being the one doing the choosing. It can certainly work that way for some women, but since you've got such a long list of restrictions, the chance that the right guy with the right combination of traits you want will find you and choose you is very low. Your best bet, if you continue to push for that "right combination," is to be the one seeking him out and calling the shots. You have got to become the pursuer.

If you aren't willing to do that, then I've got bad news for you - Your next questions will be "Available man over 40," "Available man over 50," etc.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 32
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Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/21/2012 3:54:27 PM
There's plenty of guys like that, OP...

Case in point, this post. I saw the profiles of the dudes on here, and I can say they sound like interesting guys to be with. Of course, you may disagree, and that's your prerogative.

That's life... sometimes one or more of your wish list may not be fulfilled...

And the ones you are attracted to?
As mentioned before... also have their own lists... and you fail in one or more of them in their book as well...

ah... it is a conundrum...

So good luck out there to everyone. :)
 ehsuds
Joined: 11/6/2011
Msg: 33
Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/21/2012 5:03:50 PM
.........popcorn
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 34
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Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/23/2012 11:44:49 PM
Why not try "Devilish2012" he has job, yard space, and car. He's in new york state. He may be what you want. Like i said before many out there. :)
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 35
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Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/24/2012 5:51:18 AM
I'm that normal guy, too. I'm not looking to get married or have kids though. Companionship is fine with me.
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