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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Living on a shoestring budget      Home login  
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 Notricksters
Joined: 7/22/2011
Msg: 1
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Living on a shoestring budgetPage 1 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Are there women on here that are living on a shoestring budget? I'm 66, self employed as a housecleaner, but have cut back on customers. At my age the houses seem bigger and those vac's are so heavy. Sprained my knee recently which is a challenge to work carefully & not reinjure it. SS - I could prob. just squeak by, take off a few months to figure out what I'm on earth for & the next career step for me. Anyone else out there - just getting by? And it definetly changes my wanting to meet men. Help w/answers please.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 2
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Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 1:45:17 PM
Interesting counterpoint to the other thread, about women and their finances.

There are a lot of men in the other thread talking about how they will not marry a woman who is not their financial / economic equal. But I think any man who is attracted to you will be quite happy to date you, and pick up the tab. I always consider dating to be on my nickel anyway.

This site is free, so why not see what you can find? You look quite attractive, if you were closer I would ask you out, and your financial status would not be a concern.
 Notricksters
Joined: 7/22/2011
Msg: 3
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Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 1:51:26 PM
Thanks - good to know...but it's discouraging, and somehow I feel I need to pay my own when I do date, until we do get to know each other. Your note picked me up! Thanks.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 4
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 2:42:52 PM
notricksters, I agree with ohenryx, you shouldn't worry about your finances in regards to dating. Most men of our age group feel like it is their position to pay for a date.

I have dated those with no money, and those with more money than I. Character and personality are what is most important to me. Most of us have things that make us feel vulnerable, for many short men they think every rejection / set back is about their height.

What men don't like is feeling like they are being taken advantage of. I can generally guess how much a date could afford, and I don't feel any resentment about picking up 100% of the costs if they don't have disposible income.

What is annoying is if someone wants to go eat lobster as long as I am paying.

You seem like a very decent lady, so don't worry too much about this in regards to paying for dates, most men won't mind paying.

take care
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 5
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 2:49:19 PM
Nottrick, I believe you are the rule not the exception. Many people today are retiring with Social Security as their only income, supplemented by stints at Walmart, or with their own businesses such as your own. I also have not read the finance thread, but I would guess that a guy who has money is not worried about a relationship with a woman who has none, so long as she brings to the table the essentials, like kindness, sensitivity, honesty and sex appeal.
 Notricksters
Joined: 7/22/2011
Msg: 6
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Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 2:51:19 PM
You guys are terrific! And no I'd never expect him to pay up for the Lobster - good lord that's an expensive diet :). OK - change my attitude, got it! :)
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 7
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 2:52:16 PM
Sex appeal doesn't pay the bills or put food on the table - unless you're charging for your "kindess and sensitivity".
 Notricksters
Joined: 7/22/2011
Msg: 8
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Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 2:56:44 PM
Sweetie, Iwouldn't have the nerve to do that to any man, and that's using someone. That definetly is not me. I believe in an honest relationship, not one nite stands. Maybe that's on the forums under another thread?
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 9
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 2:57:47 PM

Sex appeal doesn't pay the bills or put food on the table - unless you're charging for your "kindess and sensitivity".


So, how expensive is it to have a relationship these days among the retired? There are plenty people can do without lots of money. They can dine in together, they can walk on a beach, enjoy some "wine" together, etc. You telling me a guy or gal is going to turn down a possible love interest because they don't bring wealth to the table? I can't believe people would be that shallow, but if they are, they don't deserve a loving relationship anyway.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 10
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 3:09:44 PM
^^^ I appreciated the jester of one date I invited to see a movie. When I stopped by her house, she gave me a choice of sodas and said she could sneak a couple in, why pay the outrageous prices for soda in a theater?

It's the little things that count for a lot.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 11
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 3:11:28 PM
google birthday freebies- I did a thread in April how I got all kinds of freebies (meals, a movie & even a dress) for my birthday...

<a href="http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts15196213.aspx">http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts15196213.aspx</a>

there is so much info on the net on how to live cheaply...people who live off grid, set up residency in a state so they can travel around in an RV all year & stay at certain locations for free, bla bla bla

If you met the man of your dreams, you could be roomies & share the expenses!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_X0o9cAtGo

here's a woman who customized her van herself, including wiring it for electricity & lives off the grid real cheap!
 jsphn11
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 12
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 3:13:15 PM

I would guess that a guy who has money is not worried about a relationship with a woman who has none, so long as she brings to the table the essentials, like kindness, sensitivity, honesty and sex appeal.


You telling me a guy or gal is going to turn down a possible love interest because they don't bring wealth to the table? I can't believe people would be that shallow, but if they are, they don't deserve a loving relationship anyway.

tbicon, you do need to read the “why pays” threads to get up to speed :-) There are many people who have money and don’t want to pay for their date. If it’s not 50/50 financially, they are not interested.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 13
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 3:14:36 PM
I'm not talking "wealth". I'm talking day to day. Many folks are still healing from a broken marriage or a job loss/job change, loss of retirement funds, pensions gone with the loss of a job, etc. Some folks are having a hard time making ends meet now, some are helping grown children, some are paying medical debt and on and on. And yes, some folks are doing quite well and have no problems financially. I want to pay my own way, I don't want to support someone else and I won't use marriage as my retirement backup plan.

Reality is reality
 Notricksters
Joined: 7/22/2011
Msg: 14
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Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 5:24:42 PM
blondie - that sounds great! I'll be checking that out! Terrific suggestion. Thank you.
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 15
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Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 5:43:38 PM
I am really happy to read this positive thread about those of us who are living a la shoestring. The last thread I read had become very negative. Thank you everyone. Good luck to you Notricksters. Our financial bracket should not be used to judge the quality of our characters or how much love we have to offer.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 16
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 6:29:15 PM

There are many people who have money and don’t want to pay for their date. If it’s not 50/50 financially, they are not interested.


Its too long a thread to read, but I think this type of mindset is evidence of a person who does not understand what love is all about. At our age, the last consideration imho should be the person's checkbook. Attractiveness, intelligence, decency, sensitivity, and all of that stuff is far more important. What's the big deal anyway? If you can afford it, why not spend it on good food and travel, for yourself and your partner? At our age, what else are we going to do with our money? Save it so we can live in a nicer nursing home?
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 17
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 6:43:10 PM

I'm not talking "wealth". I'm talking day to day. Many folks are still healing from a broken marriage or a job loss/job change, loss of retirement funds, pensions gone with the loss of a job, etc. Some folks are having a hard time making ends meet now, some are helping grown children, some are paying medical debt and on and on. And yes, some folks are doing quite well and have no problems financially. I want to pay my own way, I don't want to support someone else and I won't use marriage as my retirement backup plan.

Reality is reality


So pay your own way, and don't use marriage as a retirement backup plan. What's the big deal there? People should only do what they feel the can afford doing or feel good about doing. My only point is that money should not be the issue when trying to have a relationship based on love. If you can afford it, spend it. If not, don't. Not very complicated really.
 FunnyGirly1
Joined: 5/17/2012
Msg: 18
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 6:44:22 PM
Times are hard you see older folks working in supermarkets etc. Dating should not be about money. Dating should be about finding love. Going for a lobster dinner on someones dime is wrong.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 19
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 7:21:59 PM
Throughout the threads started here in the ‘over 45’ I’ve so very often seen, even when it wasn’t the initial subject, people of both sexes stating their preference of the other person having at least the same income level as themselves.

And, the 50/50 contribution thing is thrown around a lot in threads that are about finances.

Also, stated quite often, is “as long as they can support themselves” and added (in varied wording) “won’t be a drain on my own money”.

So yes, in my opinion, living on a shoestring is somewhat an impediment to dating someone who is living with fancy high top shoes. At least from what I read here.

BUT, thing is, there are a LOT of people out there living on shoestrings.
Monthly bills are being paid, food is on the table… even car may be paid for… but extra money left over for other things? Slim wallet.

That’s how I live. I think that’s how many are living in these days and times (if not worse off).
Might not get many on a dating site to admit it, though.

So all those many ‘shoestring people’ = dating options for each other!

AND, now and then you may run into someone who does not mind they have a fatter wallet and would enjoy sharing.
 SSC-SAF
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 20
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 7:23:02 PM
I am on a shoestring budget these days and still want to pay/contribute my fair share. I did it way back when I was first dating 30+ years ago, and am doing it again now. I also have no qualms about discreetly telling someone that I can't afford to go somewhere or do something, but I don't make an issue of it.
 TheBeastHere
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 21
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Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 7:55:49 PM
Some one can afford shoe strings? Damn rich people.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 22
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 7:56:52 PM
If the sole criterion is cash flow, many of us 45+ers are living on a shoestring budget, and like Blonde Angel we've learned how to stretch our dollars by waiting for sales and using mfg. and/or store coupons and bonus cards even when those things on sale . I can't remember the last time I paid more than 50% of list price for anything except some food items at the grocery store, but even supermarkets have BOGO sales. Most towns have "second run" movie houses where two can catch a weekend movie for $5.00. At our local second run theatre, Tuesday nights cost $1.00. There are also free concerts and free lectures, along with free outdoor hiking sites at parks.

When it comes to personal finances, the hard parts about this age include (but are certainly not limited to) the responsibilities we may have in caring for adult un/der employed children, grown disabled children, widowed parents living in senior homes, lack of health care insurance or very high copays that sometimes preclude preventative care, costly divorce settlements, and one of the toughest IMO --- chronic medical conditions requiring costly medication.

So yes: being on a shoestring budget these days can limit one's chances of finding romance. But having a good chunk of cash and a few of the above responsibilities" can also limit one's chances. As can ---- if you read through many of our forum threads ---- being a woman over 50. Or a man over 50. Or a 45+ single adult raising young children. Or a 45+ widow. Or someone with severe allergies to pets. Or someone who is a smoker. Or. . . or. . . or. . .

As for me, OP? The site is free, and all it takes is One Good Guy as far as my needs are concerned. So keep your feet firmly planted on the ground. But why not wish on a star and shoot for the moon? :)
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 23
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Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 10:25:20 PM
People (men and women both), really ARE shallow when it comes to finances. If you don't have much money, you're judged on that.....if you have "a lot" of money, you are judged on that! Read the thread on "women and finances"....you'll find that most men don't want to be bothered if you can't match them dollar for dollar, no matter how decent, good, and kind of a person you are.
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 24
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/19/2012 11:52:07 PM
I dated a guy last summer who did not even have a shoestring in his budget and we managed to find a lot of fun things to do that cost next to nothing...concerts in the park, fireworks displays, fishing, strolls through farmer's markets and art fairs, picnics, free sample day at the local club mart, church/library events, camping/campfires etc. We even found a little bar that offered free salsadance lessons on Wednesday nights. A home cooked meal and a DVD rental can be a great date with the right movie and the right company. So be honest about your financial situation, offer up some fun suggestions and concentrate on enjoying your time together.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 25
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 1:17:43 AM

Times are hard you see older folks working in supermarkets etc. Dating should not be about money. Dating should be about finding love. Going for a lobster dinner on someones dime is wrong.

For some of us, dating isn't about finding love. I don't date to find "forever" or "love." I'm not looking for anything serious whatsoever. I date because I happen to enjoy socializing with someone of the opposite sex rather than my BFFs all the time. And I don't think going to dinner and having lobster is wrong in the least, if that is what was agreed upon when making said date (however, since I hate lobster, it would be all sorts of wrong for me to do so.)

I often times wonder about those who don't discuss the financial arrangements of a date prior to going. The men who I have dated (when I was actively doing so) have generally said, "How about we go to ______________________ so I can buy you dinner?" or "I have tickets to see ________________ this weekend. And afterward? I'd like to buy you dinner." (Keep in mind, these are just examples and nothing verbatim.) Going for lobster "on someone else's dime" is only wrong if the person paying hasn't made it clear they don't expect or wish to pay PRIOR to going on the date. And like it or not, dating will always contain an element of money. Either you both decide to do something which is free, or you both decide to do something that costs money. This topic has been done to death and every time I run across a new thread about dating/money, I wonder why people don't just simply TALK about the plan. Geez, I even make certain to discuss wardrobe before a date. I don't want to be over-dressed and I certainly don't want to be under-dressed for whatever the date will consist of. As adults, I would think these are just things that can/should be talked about. JMO
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