Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Sexual Prime      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Maggie__x
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 1
Sexual PrimePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
To all the mature ladies out there I have a question. I am 23 and have only been with three people, I have really no desire to add to the list mainly because the sex was never that good. Have your numbers gone up since hitting the 30/40 mark? Was it less than in your 20s? I feel like a freak because my friends usually are at the 20/25 mark but I fall short.

EDIT Alright I meant the quality of sex. I equated numbers because when me and my friends talk about this they say that they always have amazing sex with each of their partners.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 2
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 10:04:44 AM
Do you want numbers or do you want quality?
 BountyHunterMike
Joined: 10/5/2011
Msg: 3
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 10:08:29 AM
WOW!! I am shocked sex was not that good for you....I have to say, it takes two to make great sex....if there is a problem with sex, it just might be YOU.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 4
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 10:09:13 AM
You have some busy friends especially in this day and age with all the very serious STD's that are out there. It's not the 60's or 70's anymore where sex was safe and skydiving was dangerous. I guess skydiving is alot safer now than it used to be and sex has gone completely the other direction.

The number that is right for you is whatever you fell good with. Sorry to hear you have not had a pleasing sexual experience with a partner. I have to wonder how well you know your own body and what it takes to make things happen for you. If you do are you able to communicate this to a partner. Have you found a partner willing to try whatever it takes? Could it be that you are not turned on by men and maybe you prefer somewho who looks more like you.

I have to say if all women who said they had body type of a few extra lbs had a body that looked like yours there would be alot more men with smiles on thier faces.

How did you manage to become a mom of a three year old get a batchelors degree and be working on a law degree by the age of 23?


The bad sex is probably from me, I can't orgasm from intercourse


The majority of women cannot orgasm from intercourse alone were your partners not well versed in clitoral stimulation you can teach them you know.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 5
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 10:10:08 AM
Op,at your age dont worry about it and/or what anybody elses' numbers are,ok?
Sex for me when i was in my 20's was pretty boring/mundane/etc. and i used to wonder "is that all it is?"

Then,when i matured and got into my 40's - KAPOW !!!
A whole sexual awakening greeted me where i discovered hidden desires,passions and kinks which had lay dormant and its only gotten better and better + being with the right fella has made a world of difference!!!!
 goodquestion
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 6
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 10:12:05 AM

I feel like a freak because my friends usually are at the 20/25 mark but I fall short.

Those are some serious numbers for that age range not that there is anything wrong with it but that is a good number of partners at that age.
 Maggie__x
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 7
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 10:15:30 AM
The bad sex is probably from me, I can't orgasm from intercourse.
 ironheadred
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 8
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 10:16:45 AM
i could got you to orgasm! lick lick . . . . !
 Maggie__x
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 9
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 10:17:00 AM

Message: Op,at your age dont worry about it and/or what anybody elses' numbers are,ok?
Sex for me when i was in my 20's was pretty boring/mundane/etc. and i used to wonder "is that all it is?"

Then,when i matured and got into my 40's - KAPOW !!!
A whole sexual awakening greeted me where i discovered hidden desires,passions and kinks which had lay dormant and its only gotten better and better + being with the right fella has made a world of difference!!!!


I have hope!
 meowkatt2012
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 10
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 10:20:48 AM
Wow. There is no reason to equate lots & lots of partners with good sex. I thought I was in my prime when I was younger but at 55 I have better sex than ever. Wild too. I just don't have a steady partner so thats a problem so I guess I e
Was a cougar. But now im looking for.a relationship and am having bad luck on here.
 Maggie__x
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 11
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 10:20:54 AM
How did you manage to become a mom of a three year old get a batchelors degree and be working on a law degree by the age of 23?


I guess its from all the not sex I've been having lol. I graduated high school at 18, was in college from 18-22, got pregnant at 20 and took a lot of online courses to finish my CRJU degree.

She's barely two.
 HeartOn64
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 12
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 10:50:37 AM
The bad sex is probably from me, I can't orgasm from intercourse.


Umm..let's do a Poll!

Who here CAN orgasm from intercourse alone?

I, for one, certainly have NEVER and I'm 48.

It's NOT you darlin'..............and it's not them.

It's the joke on women via biology and location of our clits!
Use your hand or a toy DURING intercourse and believe me.....it's a WHOLE NUTHER WORLD!

Don't rush your number...Go for quality men that you have either strong emotional or sexual feelings for and forget about what your GF's #'s are!

They may actually regret them one day.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 13
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 10:56:49 AM
OP - the curious thing is that you never know when you are going to have great sex with someone until it actually happens...


you could have great sex with the 1st person you are with or the 500th person you are with...


or could only have great sex with 2-3 partners in your life...




having more sexual partners won't necessarily guarantee you'll have a great sexual partner...


but not having sex will guarantee you will NOT find a great sexual partner...


:/


for me , great sex is about the connection both of us have with each other...
 Maggie__x
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 14
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 11:02:26 AM
Is it terrible that I must be that bad at sex? My friends always say clitoral stimulation doesn't always help the men just hit the right spot. I wish I had a sex coach to teach me these things. When I have sex I like to role play a fantasy, get all dolled up and make it fun for them, but in the process I forget about my needs. In the middle there might be oral which always helps but during sex if he goes for clitoral stimulation it makes me squirmy. I have a sexual dilemma.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 11:46:58 AM
You know, I've read your post like a half dozen times and I have no clue what you're talking about.


Have your numbers gone up since hitting the 30/40 mark? Was it less than in your 20s?

By sheer default the numbers increase as you age, unless you are in a monogamous relationship. They can't go downwards. This confuses me.

Bottom line.. don't worry about what numbers your friends have, or don't have. It doesn't matter.

Also.. your friends might be lying.

About 80-85% of women do not orgasm from penetrative sex alone. Congratulations.. you fall within the "normal" range.

Do you orgasm on your own? Yes? Congratulations. There are some women that don't. You don't orgasm alone? Some women don't.

If you answered yes to that last question, you are responsible for educating your partners how to help you make it happen. They are not 100% responsible for it.

Honestly.. my sex life in my early 20s, while frequent, was lacking in quality. Late 20s through mid-30s I was married, and it was a decent sex life. Late 30s through to now (early 40s) has been a lot better than my 20s and 30s combined. This is a normal thing I think for women. They become more comfortable with their bodies, better educated on what works for them, more willing to voice their needs to their partners.

It should get better for you. You do have some responsibility here though to make sure it does. Don't just lay there expecting the guy to know what it takes to get you off... most won't have a clue. Sorry guys... you know it's true tho. You might have an inkling of what has worked for previous partners, but you have no clue for all the future ones.
 HeartOn64
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 16
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 1:27:34 PM

---Men can, but women tend to need clitoral stimulation as well.


You're so silly! You know what I meant!


Is it terrible that I must be that bad at sex?


You aren't "bad at sex" you just don't know how your own body works so well yet. (and may not have met a man who puts your first who has some skills!)That's what you should be working on alone.Find out what get's you off alone,without worrying about what a man is doing or what his needs are for a bit.Then you can tell him what get's you off and if he cant' do it as well as you do it to yourself,you can always try to stimulate your own clit while he is inside of you.


My friends always say clitoral stimulation doesn't always help the men just hit the right spot.


Men don't always know how to hit the right spot clitorally speaking.But you should know how to.


I wish I had a sex coach to teach me these things.


As long as you are open-minded and willing to try things that please you,you won't need one.


When I have sex I like to role play a fantasy, get all dolled up and make it fun for them, but in the process I forget about my needs.


Believe me,I spent the better part of my youth in that same boat.Then I woke the hell up and thought...UMMM..what about MY ORGASM? Most often it was me giving head,but not recieving.
Or me going without orgasms because they were too fast or didn't care if I got off or not.So one day
i thought...I know how to get myself off,why don't I try to while they are busy getting themself off and it worked
like a charm.No more disappointment or relying on unreliables.



In the middle there might be oral which always helps but during sex if he goes for clitoral stimulation it makes me squirmy. I have a sexual dilemma.


Well...first off,oral needs to be at the beginning and for a while before it starts to even get close to orgasm for me.
If it's just a foreplay sort of oral to appease you instead of please you,it won't get you there.Men get worked up and get off long before women do in my past experience and unless you have someone who actually takes his time because he cares about you,and get's you past that squirmy point,and into an orgasm,you will miss your chance most of the time.

You have to learn to relax and enjoy someone trying to get you off and realize that an oral orgasm is your best bet to coming during sex!Don't even touch "him" until you come.He will ALWAYS get his and some guys actually get off getting a woman off a few times before they get thiers.


And no1 Baby is right.....you are NORMAL as all hell when it comes to not coming during penetration alone.
Women are set up to think that they aren'tnormal because those little facts aren't broadcasted and leave women feel
as though there is something wrong with them or the men they are with.

And NEVER fake it!

And learn about G-spot orgasms and how to have them.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stress-and-sex/201012/orgasms-you-cant-fake-it-till-you-make-it

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081107103226AALTAro

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_make_a_woman_orgasm_through_penetration
 tygerpawn
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 17
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 1:48:32 PM
you just havent found the right guy thats all, it doesnt mean its you
and youve been with 3 guys which shows you dont give it up easily , the other friends of yors is kind of slutty
and I bet a few of htem has or had some STD

When you find the right guy he will rock your world.
 pescando75
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 18
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 2:21:40 PM
Your "friends" are FULL of it! LOL!
 dawudgoolsby
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 19
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 2:50:25 PM
well people you have to realize,as corny as this may sound,sex is something more spiritual than physical,this is one of the reasons why people can fall in love from sex alone,it was designed to be a special bond between two people that love care for one another to reproduce,and its just too damn overrated for what it is,just cause it feel good.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 20
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 2:54:55 PM
I wish I had a sex coach to teach me these things


Most women learn what they need to make things work for them on thier own using thier hands toys etc and then help thier partner learn how to play them well.. If this route is not for you then you could always have a relationship with an older man who has learned well from the women he has been with. I am sure there would be plenty of volunteers should you explore the 40 and over crowd.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 3:40:40 PM
I had some damn good sex in my 20's......but now that I'm staring at 50....the sex is out of this world!!!

If I understand your question......you are asking if we have had more partners in our later years than we did in our younger years.......and to that I say....No. I have always been rather picky about who I slept with, then and now.

and I can orgasm through penetration alone.....I have quite the trigger happy gspot (Thank Gawd!)

I also agree that you can reach down with your fingers or a small toy during sex and stimulate your clitoris ........a very small bullet between us is my way of adding clitoral stimulation during intercourse - and he likes it too!

when in a relationship.......there is nothing wrong with making a night all about "him"......as long there are "all about you" nights thrown in there too.
 Lilladylilrough
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 22
view profile
History
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 5:11:36 PM
I have always been a little more sexual but I am with MsMicki on this one.
In the last couple years it seems like my body is starting to figure things out and the sex has gone from great to WOWZA!

It isn't about numbers...it is about finding someone you are comfortable with...who will help you figure things out. (like what turns you on)
It is all a learning experience...don't get down on yourself!
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 23
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 5:17:16 PM
Are you talking about the amount of lovers or years? I think there can be too many actually. Quality is more important as we age but I typically had more lovers in my thirties as I was more confident and could handle the odd one nightstand without feeling used or getting all outraged when they didnt come back and sometimes I didnt want them to. It was just a phase however and from then on in I only was intimate with those I had emotional and spiritual connection with. I was more sexual in my forties and knew what I wanted and was not afraid to communicate that.

We are all different. Some women go wild at menopause and some are wild as teenagers and some never go wild. Stay with the one man all their lives. I wouldnt compare myself to others and they may be lying about their conquests. It is easy for women to get sex and often it is not so good without a deeper connection.
At your age I had one or two only by the way.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 24
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/21/2012 6:29:35 PM
By the time I hit 23 I was already married, had a child and another one on the way.
At that point I had only been with 3 men, just like you.

I have never been one to sleep around, so my tally is on the low side.
And I like it like that.
It suits me just fine.
You are not freak.
And don't let anyone tell you that you are.

You do what makes you feel comfortable.
Ever think that your friends don't have any standards,
and in order to make themselves feel better,
they belittle you.

You will find the right partner when the time is right.
Then sex will be wonderful.
 HeartOn64
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 25
Sexual Prime
Posted: 6/22/2012 2:53:03 AM

I can orgasm through penetration alone.....I have quite the trigger happy gspot (Thank Gawd!)


Where do you "buy one"?

I often wonder if because I have a "tiled uterous" (not to mention a long C-V distance) if everything is a little out of reach in my case.

Someone just PM'ed me "well,you are intimate with the wrong men".

While I'd love to blame someone,especially the men who didn't bother to go down on me to orgasm,I know that not every woman has a tigger happy g-spot,nor do they come from penetration alone.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Sexual Prime