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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE      Home login  
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 Ladyshew
Joined: 5/27/2010
Msg: 1
Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASEPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Hello there,

So I have been going out with this guy for a month, we met online in April and ended up going out in late May. We kissed after the 4th date and we always have a great time together, I like him a lot and I see myself in a long-term relationship with him. However, I am always the one texting him and pretty much asking him out. I invited him over for dinner at my place on Wednesday, we had a great time but he hasn't called or texted ever since.. what does it mean?? what do you think? supposedly we are exclusive.. HELP!

thanks!
 southmeetswest
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 2
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Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 6/23/2012 6:45:45 PM
maybe he is just not someone who texts or calls. have you told/ask him how you wish he would, etc?

so, he does not ask you out for the most part, and makes no contact in between rendevous? could be he is not interested, you just make it easy and why not?

but before assuming the worst, i would talk to him,

kaylee
 juicyfruit21
Joined: 10/30/2011
Msg: 3
Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 6/23/2012 6:52:20 PM
I think when one person in the relationship is doing all the work i.e. texting, asking to see him, reaching out does not constitute a mutual dating scenario. So....don't play any hard to get games. My advice to you is talk to him but state what you're comfortable with in terms of communicating, texting, etc.

"I need to talk to you about some things....just wanted to make sure we are on the same page. Cause if we're not I need to know that." Then you can tell him you don't feel comfortable always texting him...and you'd feel better if there was some reciprocity. He needs to tell you where his head is at....and not the one in his pants. You have a right to know...but if he will only see you when YOU ask him and he isn't asking you for dates...well I would say "this doesn't work for me..." "In order for me to feel good I need.... ( and then tell him....nicely of course!) If he doesn't come through with ACTIONS....you should probably move on. Good luck.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 4
Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 6/23/2012 7:06:31 PM
A month is nothing and way too early for exclusivity. If you are being intimate he may be just there for the sex and he knows you are keen and taking advantage of that. It sounds like he has other women or a partner and I would back off and see if he contacts you. If not, then you have your answer. Dont be a doormat and let yourself be a convenient lay. You are an attractive woman and should not be doing all the initiating.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 5
Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 6/23/2012 7:19:25 PM
well, this is an easy one. you are the one pursuing him; he is not pursuing you. if a man is into you he will want to be with you all the time. he will want to talk to you all the time. he will also want to have sex with you all the time. he's a guy. if he isn't acting like this, then he pretty much just thinks you are okay but you are not the one for him. he does not feel the same way about you as you do about him. don't call him anymore, and maybe he will realize how much he might actually like you and start pursuing you for a change. there are no mixed messages, and the message he is sending you loud and clear is that you are not the one.

forget this guy and move on. you deserve to be with someone that is crazy about you.
 ruckus123
Joined: 6/7/2005
Msg: 6
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Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 6/23/2012 8:00:31 PM
he is keeping you around untill he finds the one that he really wants to be with. Have fun while it lasts but know that if and when he finds his "one" you will never hear from him again.
 freespiritxoxx
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 7
Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 6/23/2012 8:31:11 PM
so u don't even know if you are exclusive ... maybe u shld ask... lol st0p chassing him see if he gets a hold of you if not.... get on with your own intrests and life................. best of luck...
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 8
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Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 6/23/2012 8:46:10 PM
Unfortunately you will have to ask him to find out.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 9
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Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 6/23/2012 8:50:48 PM
A month? And you are exclusive? Exclusive to what? You just met, he's not finding you all that important and if you want to think you are exclusive, he's willing to let you, but he seems to have other things to do. You contact him, he shows up for some food & sex then he forgets about you, until you contact him again. I'm sorry, it's not right, he could just be honest with you, but he's really not that interested. Stop contacting him, either he will contact you or he won't but it's not likely he's ever going to be upfront with you, you are his F buddy, someone who is all over him but he's not feeling the same. It's not going to get better, unless he finds himself suddenly interested if he thinks you are losing your interest, then it's up to you if you want to play that game with him. Because he'll lose the interest just as quickly when you start chasing him again. And that's what it comes down to, do you want to date a man who is interested in you and treats you well or do you want to cling to this guy and pretty much beg him to come over and have sex with you? Normally I'd say it's just too early for all the stuff you are trying to make this be, but from what you've posted, he sounds pretty cold and uninterested in anything more than taking advantage. I never think it's okay to take advantage of someone, even when they offer themselves up for it like you are, it's still wrong and a character flaw I find to be a deal breaker.
 ColeenAnn
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 10
Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 6/23/2012 9:05:31 PM
Of course he's not into you - that's quite obvious since you're the only one trying to stay in contact. But the real question is how can you be exclusive after four dates and only one kiss in a month's time?
 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 11
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Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 6/23/2012 9:24:34 PM
I think the obvious thing is to stop texting him and inviting him to do things and give him a chance to do it. He's probably not doing it because you ARE. And some guys like the woman to take the lead, he might be one of those.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 12
Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 6/23/2012 9:53:25 PM

We kissed after the 4th date


Doesn’t sound like much attraction, to me.

Wait for him to come to you.
 jd47me
Joined: 4/27/2012
Msg: 13
Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 6/23/2012 10:03:59 PM
From my point of view, if someone likes you they will show it. That's what I would do, or tell them you "thanks, but I am not interested" . That being said, everybody is different. Maybe he is just being cautious. Hopefully he is being honest with you. This dating /relationship stuff is hard to figure out sometimes.
Good Luck
 BillyMcCool
Joined: 12/5/2008
Msg: 14
Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 6/23/2012 10:24:09 PM
It means your his back-burner ****. He is using you for sex, he's not interested in you as a mate. You have lowered your value by being the one that texts/calls.


Future advice, dress sexy, play hard to get.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 15
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Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 6/24/2012 4:45:11 AM
Perhaps he has friend zoned you or he is just not that into you.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 16
Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 6/24/2012 4:53:59 AM
this may be a stupid question..but have u banged him yet?/ especially the nite he came over for dinner?
 badboy_transformed
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 17
Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 6/24/2012 5:55:21 AM

DO not sleep with him. YOU will regret it.


I think this is some of the problem.


Usually if any guy goes out with a female for a month and has at least gotten SOMETHING he is going to start questioning it.

communication is the key, as they both lack it, so its not just on her...
 Juslookin01182
Joined: 11/18/2011
Msg: 18
Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 6/24/2012 6:15:29 AM
I'm not one for chasing. I believe if the interest is mutual, he'd be contacting and putting as much effort into seeing me as I do in seeing him. Stop wasting your time on him. You have a few options here :

1.) Sit around wondering what his deal is.
2.) Ask him what his deal is.
3.) Move on to someone who actually shows interest in you.

Seriously, life is too short to be hung up over some guy who can't take 5 minutes to text/call you. In my opinion, the answer to your question is quite obvious.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 19
Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 2/28/2017 12:20:07 PM
" However, I am always the one texting him and pretty much asking him out. I invited him over for dinner at my place on Wednesday, we had a great time but he hasn't called or texted ever since.. what does it mean?? "





It means....HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU


" what do you think?"



I think about pizza .... too often
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 20
Is he not into me??? condoms are so insensitive
Posted: 2/28/2017 3:48:41 PM
or to be more succinct, he's just not that into getting into you.

Pizza is good to think about. Like sex, even when its bad, it beats not having it. So what toppings do you prefer, chuckie?

i'm thinking....chicken something.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 21
Is he not into me??? condoms are so insensitive
Posted: 2/28/2017 3:54:29 PM
Actually, I prefer pepperoni, jalapenos, mushrooms, sundried tomatoes, black olives ..........mmmmmmmmmmmm
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 22
Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 2/28/2017 4:20:28 PM
He IS into you and bit it big.

He doesn't text you because he is afraid to. He is being nice and respectful and not invading your space.

Think about it... Kiss on the FOURTH date and now exclusive? This is supposed to be one of those devil may care coxmen out breaking hearts coast to coast? Honestly!

You might very well be the only woman that ever paid attention to him. He doesn't know thing one about how to treat you besides what mommy and Oprah told him. He wants you so badly that he is petrified about making a mistake.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 23
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Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 2/28/2017 5:17:25 PM
I put cold pizza in the toaster. Comes out just right, or I toast it again. No soggy microwave stuff!
 Canandaigua_Momma
Joined: 12/16/2015
Msg: 24
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Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 2/28/2017 5:39:35 PM
All people can do is keep communication open best as possible.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 25
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Is he not into me??? HELP PLEASE
Posted: 2/28/2017 9:15:57 PM
Wow I posted to this topic back in 2012. Chuck running second in resurrections...
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