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 AUTHOR
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 2
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The Butterfly EffectPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Years. Have only had butterflies for 4 men in my life.
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 8
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The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/1/2012 9:37:48 AM
Its been years for me.
 FairOaksChick
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 12
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/1/2012 6:04:07 PM

I had a few of those in my teens. Then not again until I met the woman who eventually became my second wife, and am still experiencing them 12 years later!

And you are open to FWB. Hope your wife knows and is okay with this.
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 13
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The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/1/2012 6:08:31 PM

And you are open to FWB. Hope your wife knows and is okay with this.


from ForRumOnly's profile
We are available as a couple to hang out with the right people.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 14
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/1/2012 6:59:21 PM

Ah the all elusive butterflies~
When I meet a man that gives them to me these days,
I RUN! It usually menas t-r-o-u-b-l-e in snug jeans with a nice package.


When I meet a woman that gives them to me these days, it usually means t-r-o-u-b-l-e in snug jeans with a nice rack.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 16
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The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/1/2012 7:30:08 PM
About 5 years ago I met my sweetie for the first time. He didn't have a pic posted on POF, *claimed* he didn't have one to send so I joked with him that he was likely a gnomish trolly sort of fellow and I would take one look at him and barf on his shoes. I was exurberently predicting "fastest meet evah"

Right, I'm *still* trying to convince him that I am a total klutz and tripped on something, but he'll *nevah* let me wiggle out of this one ... My eyes met his, those dayum butterflies did a kamakaze back flip, my knees buckled and I crashed into the door jam.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 18
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The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/1/2012 8:01:43 PM
Butterflies in the pit of your gut over a guy/gal feel great, but it can be a sign that the relationship will fail due to your own foolish mistakes. It's an indicator that you're losing emotional control over yourself.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 23
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The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/1/2012 9:51:48 PM
Op, if I may ask, why did this relationship fail? I'm curious to know if it's what I suspect. And that is, that you lost your self control and revealed your emotions and feelings for her before she felt the same way.
 SELSEL2017
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 24
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/2/2012 9:21:06 AM
Butterflies are that true Love...thats that chemistry thing we are all looking for...although butterflies can also make a person close up and seem shy...only because they are really into you..sommetimes the shy butterfly thing makes the other person think you are not into them...lol dating I cant take it anymore...butterfly thing is only going to come natural....its rear and sooo hard to find...keep dating...until you find it...and if you dont feel it...make sure you are upfront from the beginning with the person...tell them right now im only dating to find the one..that way the girl wont feel hurt if shes not the one...she will know up front that the butterflies where not there...
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 25
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/2/2012 11:42:26 AM
I've had them just once so far in my life.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 27
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/2/2012 12:36:34 PM

How long was it for everyone here between their own personal "butterfly effects" ... if you know what I'm trying to ask?

Last time for me? October 14, 2004. Hasn't happened since. Doubt it will. JMO
 northbound55
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 28
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/2/2012 12:39:24 PM
hmmmmmmmmmmm when was the movie american graffitti out
 northbound55
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 29
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/2/2012 12:40:07 PM
i do get them when i see a mercury cyclone at carshows and cars
 Hopeneverdissapoints
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 38
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The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/2/2012 5:12:53 PM

Butterflies are that true Love...thats that chemistry thing we are all looking for...although butterflies can also make a person close up and seem shy...only because they are really into you..sommetimes the shy butterfly thing makes the other person think you are not into them...lol dating I cant take it anymore...butterfly thing is only going to come natural....its rear and sooo hard to find...keep dating...until you find it...and if you dont feel it...make sure you are upfront from the beginning with the person...tell them right now im only dating to find the one..that way the girl wont feel hurt if shes not the one...she will know up front that the butterflies where not there...


I'm calling BS!

I believe in "True Love." True love ain't some swoopy little feeling in your stomach or crotch or wherever. That's something else entirely.

True love doesn't happen by magic, or chemistry, or luck, or coincidence. Love...TRUE LOVE...is worked at, nurtured, and renewed every day. True love takes a huge investment of time and energy and shows itself precisely when those stupid "butterfly" feelings aren't there... when you look at your spouse and really don't *like* them at that moment but know that you love them even more deeply than the present moment's dislike.

Infatuation, lust, insanity...whatever you want to call that momentary lapse of reason (with due apologies to Pink Floyd) is a quirk that hits hard and flees even more quickly. It cannot carry you through the dry-times, when you look at your partner and realize you don't *like* them at that second, or they don't make your stomach flip-flop anymore, then you're screwed.

By-the-way, it's the pursuit of that non-sensical sensation/feeling that turns people into commodities to be used and then thrown-away when they no longer amuse you any more.

Don't do that to someone else. It really sucks.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 42
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/19/2013 8:47:28 AM
I never equated the idea of swallowing living bugs that still move around in the body to instant love. The closest I got was the feeling of swallowing tapeworms.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 45
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The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/19/2013 6:08:24 PM
had that with only one man. The first time he kissed me. For ages after that every time I even just thought of that first kiss, I got the same exact feeling. he ended up being the love of my life. He was also a chronic liar and cheater. Incapable of fidelity. Lied to and cheated on all 3 of his wives. has lied to and cheated on the woman who will be #4.

I don't look for that "feeling" anymore. It's a just a chemical thing. I much prefer a relationship that has more substance.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 48
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/19/2013 7:05:19 PM
Raid usually takes care of the butterflies.


I am nearly 55 and have only had what I assume you mean as butterflies twice in my life, neither of which lasted very long. The woman I married never gave me butterflies, and that lasted 16.5 years (well 15.5 years before she turned evil).
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 49
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The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/20/2013 5:33:07 AM

Blueline294 - Yes there is. The name for it is psychopath. And the butterflies state is achieved by Idealizing, Devaluing, then Discarding.

Great article at:
http://psychopathsandlove.com/stages-of-the-psychopathic-relationship/


Interesting site that would leave anyone wondering if they're falling in love running a mile on first read. Shame it's another one that gives the impression that all psychopaths are male too.

I've had butterflies too. Some from someone who was a psycho and left me in an abused state and ironically some from someone who must have wondered if I was after thinking I was too good to be true because I seemed so perfect for her. Both left me hurt and bewildered.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 51
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/20/2013 7:14:54 PM
LMAO, Had a BIG moth, fly down, inside the back of my scrub top. Gave me the heebie jeebies! Couldn't get my top off fast enough!

Exactly. I had relationships where the chemistry didn't start developing until the 2nd or 3rd date. I also had dates where there was "instant chemistry" on the first date. But the chemistry quickly fizzled out.
Isn't that the truth!
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 52
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The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/20/2013 7:19:47 PM
2 1/2 years MINIMUM. Sad but true.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 56
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/23/2013 10:02:07 AM
hmm, that article on pyschos seems interesting, since the site also explains what the victims do to make themselves willing victims (ie, looking for what they can get from the psycho, rather than look for a healthy relationship which the psycho fails to do from the start).

As for the butterfly effect, I'm told the feeling comes from "fight or flight" chemicals being dumped into the stomach of all places, making it feel like butterflies flying inside. Perhaps that's why I haven't had it yet, I usually don't go into situations I can't handle so I haven't had that response :)
 pfif
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 57
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The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/23/2013 10:32:39 AM
I thought this thread was going to be about how when a butterfly
lands on a shrub in Kansas, it causes (eventually) a thunderstorm
in Tibet.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 58
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/23/2013 6:53:38 PM
I've had butterflies with every guy I dated seriously...I won't bother unless I get em. Granted, I use my head and if the guy is otherwise no good for me I won't bother, but getting them is how it always starts.
 elmuchoburrito
Joined: 8/27/2013
Msg: 59
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/29/2013 9:59:30 AM
thought I had it once -
turned out to be a bit of bad oysters - and revenge of borderline homebrew.
added those to the list of things never to try in combination again
this was before facebook - so luckily there are no fotos of it
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