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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?      Home login  
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 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 1
Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I personally like to make a good 1st impression, not talking tuxedo or anything, but a nice pair of jeans and a dress shirt, nice shoes, etc. I like it and take notice when a woman takes the time to do her hair, makeup, nails, clothing, jewelry, etc. It shows she is willing to put forth an effort to look as good as she can. On the other hand i have met several ladies who seemed to dress down (sweats, just from the gym, hair up, no makeup, etc), not sure why this is?..and kind of a delicate question to ask....lol.
I'm not trying to meet the masses, (dont go out alot) and i always allow plenty of time to get ready myself..it makes me feel good..and spills over to my positive attitude on the meetup but not sure why a women would not primp a little..is it reverse phychology? Who knows..the next one u meet might be 'the one', right?
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 2
Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 5:33:59 AM

I personally like to make a good 1st impression, not talking tuxedo or anything, but a nice pair of jeans and a dress shirt, nice shoes, etc.
I would dress appropriately for the VENUE we were going to. I would hardly consider your description as "dressed up". I mean its great your not in raggedy clothes and flip flops but jeans and a dress shirt is just normal dress. That isnt even Business Casual attire with khakis etc... I am not knocking it as I live in snakeskin cowboy boots, jeans and dress shirts as normal attire. But thats what I wear to run to the grocery store thats not like I dressed up or anything.

I have never once in my life had women show up dressed as you described. I have done things outside in the heat and had them wear appropriate shorts and tennis shoes etc but I have never had one show up grubby looking once and I have HUNDREDS of POF first meets. Your the one that keeps picking the grubby women that dont give a zhit. Maybe your not projecting the right "vibe" or not suggesting the right venues to go to on a first meet where they feel its important to dress appropriately. I usually go grab a drink at a bar in the evening and every lady I have met has seemed to know how to dress in these venues.

Cowboy
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 3
Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 5:38:57 AM
I dress up but the level depends on the destination.

Obviously, I always shower and change my clothes and make an effort with my appearance. There is no way I would show up anywhere looking a mess. I would however dress more casually for a coffee meet then a dinner date. Turn up in sweats - not a chance !
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 4
Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 5:47:24 AM
To clarify, most of my meetup venues have been at a rest/bar after work. (7ish pm) and yes i had a stunningly beautiful woman one time show up in sweats. is that the norm.?, no..but it has happened and more than once. I have heard that some women are so paranoid about projecting a 'sexy image' for fear that the guy will think she's easy or something.Hopefully some honest women on here will spill their guts and let me know whats going on in their head..lol!
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 5
Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 5:53:40 AM
I wouldn't leave the house looking slovenly, let alone meet even a friend for a cup of coffee that way...r u picking low-maintenance women, or is it very casual in the area where u live?

I just gave myself a french manicure last night, & I did it for me but wondered if men ever NOTICE/APPRECIATE these things...after reading your post, I see that some men do notice...

IMO a 1st meet should be coffee or a soda, I personally do not drink per se, so I don't do bars...jeans & a nice top w/ light makeup & clean styled hair would be good, it is hot in the summer, so maybe some capris or a sundress would be good too.

OP I think u make a point sort of...to me if a person, particularly a woman WANTS A RELATIONSHIP, wouldn't they make an effort in their appearance? Is it a regional thing? Certain parts of the country are more casual?

In the past I used to go to singles mixers intermittently & noticed alot of the women who were regulars were either frumpy, homely or fat/obese. Maybe that is why they keep going to mixers, they cannot get a date cuz of their appearance. I guess they do not want to date that badly, cuz if they did, they'd do something about it! Same went for the men...

Change up your M.O., are you saying these women have pix up on POF showing themself groomed & show up not-so-groomed? Maybe u need to use different criteria...it's hard to say w/o knowing all the details...

I did know a woman who used POF years ago who posted a pic of herself all done up that was also an old photoshopped pic. She'd show up looking older, heavier, wearing glasses instead of contacts, short hair, no makeup. She'd b1tch all the time that she wouldn't get a 2nd meet & that men oftentimes complained about her looks! Kind of sounds like what u describe...I do not know if this is the norm for most POF-ers or not...

PS- i just saw what u said about the stunner in sweats- could be she was trying to downplay her looks so u would want to get to know her for herself, not just her looks!
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 6
Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 5:54:11 AM
Even if it was a 7ish after work meeting, I would still make sure I had showered and changed. If I didn't think that was possible, I'd request pushing the meeting back half an hour or so, to allow for it. No way in heck I would meet someone new or for a date, without hitting that shower first. I don't care if it's for a 20 minute meet or a 4 hour evening. The same goes for meeting up with friends too.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 7
Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 6:05:37 AM
When I go out I always make sure I dress appropriately.
But then I own my own business, and I'm expected to present myself well.
 BicyclingGal
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 8
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Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 7:17:55 AM
When I go out on a date, even if it's the 10th date, I always take pains to look nice: fashionable outfit, makeup, hair curled, little bit of perfume, nail polish, etc. I always put my best foot forward.

Of course it depends on the venue -- if we're going mini golfing I'm not going to wear a dress-- but the theme is, dress to impress, dress for success. I would NEVER show up at a date wearing sweats or workout clothes, not even if I was thinking the date wouldn't work out. Even if we go biking I wear cute bike clothes designed to attract attention.
 KAKI3152
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 9
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Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 7:40:57 AM
I think best foot forward is the way to go. When I go on a first date, I have dress nicely with a nice shirt, nice pants and a good pair of shoes. I do also look at my date to see how she is "put together". You can never take back a first impression.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 10
Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 7:48:01 AM

On the other hand i have met several ladies who seemed to dress down (sweats, just from the gym, hair up, no makeup, etc), not sure why this is?..and kind of a delicate question to ask....lol.


Cannot believe a woman would show up for a meet in sweat pants.. The hair up could be due to it being hot however. As far as makeup goes I wear very little of it.. I would say I dress as I normally dress which is nice, casual and clean.. However if a dinner date than might take it up a notch depending on which restaurant we were going to..Otherwise my regular stylish clothing as just fine..
 Drestin.Red
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 11
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Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 7:49:38 AM
Some people think wearing high dollar designer sweats is dressing up. Some people think wearing a nice pair of jeans is dressing up. It all depends on where you live & the type of people you associate with. Where I live & the group I hang out with, neither attire would be acceptable.

If clothing is a concern of yours then maybe you should mention that when you ask for a meet up. Say something like, "we're going to yada yada pub, they have a great out door patio, fantastic view. It'll be hot so this might be the perfect time for you to wear that cute little summer dress you just bought", or something to that affect.

And yes I do dress up for a first meet. I wear dresses the majority of the time & big oversized hippy skirts without panites, cause it's soooooo hot! LOL
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 12
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Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 8:57:23 AM
I'm always dressed for success no matter where I go or who I'm planning to meet.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 13
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Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 9:16:45 AM
I had a guy show up in sweats, guess he thought it hid the gut that wasn't in his 10 year old pics. I live in a foothill rural area, clean jeans and button up shirt is upper casual lol So if meeting for coffee that is what I wore. The ONE showed up in the same,...it was just what ya wear here if you are into horses and that life style. This was in January, if it was now a sundress would be the ticket.

I don't even leave my house in sweats, I work out here and would be hard pressed to wander around in public dressed like that.
 soicat
Joined: 5/17/2012
Msg: 14
Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 9:42:19 AM

i had a stunningly beautiful woman one time show up in sweats


I wish I had your problems, man.

For guys the trick is to make sure you're wearing at least one thing that's expensive - watch , shoes, jacket, whatever - and a manicure doesn't hurt.
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 15
Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 9:50:51 AM
I am very low maintenance, and I would never show up for a first meet without making at least as much effort as i do when meeting anyone in public. I might run the the grocery store or gas station in sweats, but that really is about it.

I think most women dress for the venue, and since most first meets are supposed to be relaxed and casual, the venue is usually relaxed and casual. I prefer dresses over pants, but I would think decent jeans and a nice top, looking clean and fresh, would be the minimum one should expect even in a casual place on a first meet.

I cannot imagine many women are so fearful of rousing a guy's interest that they would wear sweats for that reason. If she was on her way to the gym--or thought she might have to make a quick dash to get away--then the sweats make sense (not necessarily right, unless she told you/gave an explanation). Otherwise, not a good sign--she wasn't making any effort beyond actually meeting you. She had low expectations.
 cautiousluv
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 16
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Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 9:58:17 AM
Whether I was dressed in jeans or a nice dress.....I always make sure I'm well groomed. I would never show up on a first date wearing sweats and no make-up. One of my things is wearing heels.....or taller shoes (not necessarily heels) on first dates....for some reason it just makes me feel sexier. lol
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 17
Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 10:00:32 AM
With so much concern about what people 'should' wear.. maybe people would be better off just showing up naked.

ha
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 18
Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 12:29:56 PM
Funny story--had a date at 4 at a wine bar--my daughter came over uninvited to help lol--so she takes the dress I picked out to wear and says, "Mom you are just meeting--wear jeans and a dressy top!"

Get to the date and he is in jeans and I think awesome--glad I listen to my daughter--well the date went for 4 hours and he looks at me at one point and says " You look great but I would have preferred a dress (he is that type of guy, and his way of saying in the future wear a dress!). Then he add normally I wear chinos and I dressed up in jeans!

life is good!

I have had a man meet me in sweats and I wasn't thrilled especially since he said he had left the gym and wanted me to wait an hour to meet him.
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 19
Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 1:30:48 PM
I personally like to make a good 1st impression, and not only take time to do my hair, makeup, nails, clothing, jewelry, etc. but brush my teeth, shine my shoes, etc. However, most of the men I've met online showed up wearing whatever (if they showed up at all...but standups are a whole other thread).

IMO, it is a sign of disrespect and/or disinterest if they don't put on a clean polo or button-down shirt and a nice pair of khakis or jeans, especially since they are the one who asked me out. Those guys usually do not get a second date (or much of a first one). I am thinking the same should apply to women who show up looking like they just came from the gym.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 20
Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 2:37:18 PM
I wore a dress and heels to Walmart today. Some of us dress "up" for just about any occasion.
 1Petite4u
Joined: 2/8/2012
Msg: 21
Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 4:05:53 PM
I'm pretty sure I would be more available for a quick coffee meet or similar if I was comfortable to just stop in and say hi after a workout or grocery shopping, rather than going home to get all pretty first. The women who do that may be onto something. Granted, my idea of messy is still kinda cute.
 BettyMcFattyPants
Joined: 6/16/2012
Msg: 22
Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 4:47:02 PM
Personally, I feel you should look decent whenever you are out in public, but that is just me. I could never run anywhere with dirty hair or sloppy clothes.

Even for a quick meet(which I've never had-they all ended up as dates except for the guy who showed up 7 inches shorter, 20 years older, and NO HAIRY CHEST. I can handle the age & height but don't you lie about having a hairy chest!!) I end up showering, shaving, and wearing something pretty. Or something that makes me feelpretty.

Not super dressed up, but not scroungy. Maybe skinny girls can get away with work out clothes, but I need to dress up the pork chops.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 23
Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 4:53:09 PM
I dress smart casual, however I have met guys who turned up in shorts, tshirt and sandals and I was not impressed.
One wore a nylon tracksuit and it is true that clothes maketh the man. If they cant be bothered to make an effort then I am not at all impressed. One attractive guy came in a knit top and linen slacks and he looked fabulous.
Some men have style and some dont.
 QueenOfWands419
Joined: 6/8/2012
Msg: 24
Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 5:07:02 PM
I think if its a laid back place on the beach maybe she feels like its ok. Or maybe she wants you to know what she looks like without being all made up. Or maybe she just doesnt wear makeup and the whole nine. I know I dont wear much makeup, and I keep my nails short and never painted. If I am going on a greet to happy hour I would wear shorts with heels, a casual top, some makeup and my hair in a loose ponytail. if I were going for coffee i could see wearing jeans or capri sweats with a tee shirt and flip flops or running shoes.
 vanityfair55
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 25
Do u dress up or dress down on a first meetup?
Posted: 7/5/2012 5:12:31 PM
I may wear jeans but would have on heels etc and would have a manicure/pedicure before also. And I think someone can tell I workout without me showing up in sweats!How crazy is that! I've only met 2 people from online in the last few years and they both were dressed nice.
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