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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?      Home login  
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 SlaveDriver8
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 3
A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
The look on her face when she sees the St. Andrews Cross in the basement.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 4
A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/5/2012 3:56:48 PM

The look on her face when she sees the St. Andrews Cross in the basement.


I lol'd. Thanks
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 5
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A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/5/2012 4:40:54 PM
laughing like a fool
st amdrews cross
thats good lol
no their is not one thing thing that makes or breaks anything with me
why, that would be shallow, foolish, and stupid now would it not be!!!!
 Laccey
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 6
A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/5/2012 6:12:47 PM
Yes if they kiss bad, slobering all over you, there's no second date for me!
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 7
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A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/5/2012 6:35:08 PM
on a first date..........how they threat the wait staff at a restaurant

and most definately the kiss......I agree, it can make or break my decision for another date.
 TooShadows
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 8
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A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/5/2012 6:53:48 PM
For me it was always whether she actually paid attention to me or was too busy looking around at everything else on a first date.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 9
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A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/5/2012 7:01:10 PM

That makes no sense at all. When a woman kisses me on a first date, I know she's interested in a second date. Why on earth would I expect a woman who didn't want to kiss me to be interested in seeing me again?

I don't kiss on first dates. Doesn't mean I'm not interested. For all the exploits that I post and share, I'm really rather reserved and a bit on the shy side.

Kissing to me is an intimate thing, reserved for relationships.. family and certain close friends. There is a measure of trust involved for me, and because I don't trust people instantly, I don't kiss instantly.

My break-it act would have to be lying and cheating. Don't lie to me. Don't cheat... on me, or your partner. Have an open relationship, that's awesome... I'm going to want to verify that with your SO before we progress to anything more than chat buddies. Don't want me doing that? I'm going to presume you're hiding something, which means you're either lying to me, or lying to her... and are a cheater. Buhbye.

I have to move at my own pace. You can't push me to put out (guess that's a break-it act for me too). You have to be patient. I have to be ready, and when I am, you will get all of me unconditionally and without hesitation. It's worth the wait.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 15
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A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/5/2012 11:05:04 PM
Leave it to me to be contrary, but a first kiss or sex means nothing to me. I look for what's more important and can't be changed like personality, integrity and intelligence. Some of the best kissing and sex I've ever had, came from poor first kisses that were a result of my girlfriend being accustomed to the way her ex kissed her. In time, you adjust to each other with differences in technique, and develope your own thing. I'm really surprised that the majority here thinks so different, and puts such a high value or priority on something so insignificant that changes automatically in short time. With this thinking, I would have totally missed out on two of the most rewarding relationships in my life.....sexual and otherwise.
 cr4zycupcake
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 16
A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/6/2012 1:17:13 AM
these arent necessarailiy a deal breaker, just a a turn off that requires instant retraining:

1. Eyes open during kissing
2. Too much tongue and saliva everywhere
3. No tongue at all, some wierd lip thing goin on

I'd kiss on the first date for sure if the guy was hot. So shoot me.
 oneofakind704
Joined: 12/28/2010
Msg: 18
A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/6/2012 4:44:46 PM
For me,a long deep passionate kiss mean we'll definitely be seeing each other again! A deal breaker would probably be a hug without a kiss goodnight...
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 26
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A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/8/2012 2:31:39 PM
Start ranting or talking crazy about politics,ex's, or the guy next door…I'm GONE!
 natgoat227
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 27
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A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/8/2012 6:01:26 PM
The KISS always tells a lot about someone...and always trying Not to be a Liar,
I try to make-good on my 'boasts'...
Once...upon arrival at the Charlotte airport, my(1st) 'date' arrived fashionably late....
eventhough it would've taken her 25 min. Less to just walk from her car...
straight across the main thoroughfare to the terminal...
she took the Tram...which cycled 7/8ths around the Entire complex!
As she explained the mixup, I cold see her blushing severely...pointing over my shoulder to her car only 60 yards away!!
Laughing...I gave her a quick kiss and said "Okay...Let's get going, I'm Starved!!"
She grabbed my shoulder and said..."I thought you said you could Kiss!!"
I stepped back and said.."You want me to make a Scene..?? In the Airport??!"
She replied with "W--- Yeah!"
So....I Dotted het 'T's and Crossed her Eyes..!!!

"Okay...you weren't lying!..Now Someone ...point me to a Fire Extinguisher!!"
 Boaterfloater
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 31
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A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/9/2012 10:58:41 AM
I read the OP's question a few times and went back on several dates to see what the end result was from the end of the meeting and what specifics were included upon departing.

Of the dates that have ended in a kiss, the first one was usually a shy and reserved kiss with the exception of a few. The shy kisses sometimes resulted in second date awesomeness and others were well boring. The more outgoing and passionate kisses were a sure sign that things were moving forward. It is a deal breaker.

Aside from kissing, there have been some dates that I've been on that I knew were not going to result in kisses, whether they pulled the "I dont kiss on a first date" card or it wasn't there for me and I knew I was not going in for the kiss. The gentle hug with the "pat" on the back is a sure sign for me. If it feels like your hugging your sister than it's not going to work.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 33
A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/9/2012 3:59:54 PM

balrog67
Any moron.......childish, narcissistic, and insecure lot


So you can't just discuss your different view, but need to call those who have a different view than yours, names.

I could tell you what I thought, but they have rules around here and your post was a personal attack against every poster who disagrees with you.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 37
A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/9/2012 11:11:21 PM
The women I know are confident and intelligent enough to know how to show their interest without kissing, or even touching.


If there is no passion present, in all likelihood, any interest these women might be showing, is in your wallet.
 natgoat227
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 38
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A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/10/2012 11:51:26 AM
A 'Date-ending' kiss wouldn't be quite as encouraging as a kiss for a 'Special Moment'...During the date.
Having things in common and discussing them, openly .. is just part of the process...
Discovering and exploring the mutual chemistry is essential on a 1st date...
That will tell you Both when and where a kiss is appropriate!
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 42
A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/11/2012 8:05:17 AM

I guess we just wait for the ones who respect us and like us enough to be patient. If they don’t…then we were never that important to them.


I'll respect a woman for whatever she does, but that doesn't mean I think what she does has no relationship to whether or not we'd be a good match. A person's attitude about kissing on the first date is not independent of a lot of other attitudes about other things that make up one's personality. For example, I'm not a patient person about muh of anything, so I'm not going to get along with people who expect me to be patient. Kissing is only one of those things.


Lack of patience, which is defined as irritation with anything that causes delay; or a restless desire for change and excitement, is considered to be a negative personality trait by most people. I'll give you kudos for admitting to it---however, kiss or no kiss, I, for one, would not consider a man with this character flaw, which I believe is a form of anger and selfishness, to be a suitable long-term partner.




The only question is whether you are strong enough and patient enough to wait for the right person”


Not being patient does mean applying pressure. It's easy to let a woman go at her own pace and then just decide to stop dating her because she is going to slowly. There's no pressure unless a guy tells her that he's going to stop dating her unless she picks up the pace, in order to pressure her. Just walking away doesn't pressure her in any way, although she might not be happy about it.


Baloney---impatience is reflected in one's actions, so yes, it is still a form of pressure. Women aren't stupid; we know when we are being pressured without being given an ultimatum. My way of dealing with this would be to say "buh-bye" and let the impatient guys walk. Men are like buses---if you miss one, there's always the next one right around the corner. Works for me.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 44
A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/11/2012 12:45:58 PM

Personally, I think what irritates you is that I make my own decisions about what I'm going to do without just letting a woman run the show.


It doesn't irritate me in the slightest, nor do I think a woman needs to "run the show". I'm not suggesting anyone should issue ultimatums---I'm simply pointing out that communication is key if a relationship is to ever get off the ground. If you think relationships are all about one person "running the show" then you have some control issues that need addressing.

If you don't want a relationship, then making all your decisions unilaterally works---but if you do want a relationship, you have to let the other person in on some of the decision-making process. It's not all about you.
 justlookingvt
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 46
A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/11/2012 7:06:34 PM
There seems to be two lines of thoughts on the subject ...

Some view kissing as little more than a door to be opened leading to a second date and possibly some time savings.

Others view it as something more intimate that is indicative of the potential of having a significant relationship.

The difference in value placed upon a kiss seems directly related to the different objectives the two groups have.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 48
A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/11/2012 8:32:06 PM
There seems to be two lines of thoughts on the subject ...

Some view kissing as little more than a door to be opened leading to a second date and possibly some time savings.

Others view it as something more intimate that is indicative of the potential of having a significant relationship.

The difference in value placed upon a kiss seems directly related to the different objectives the two groups have.


Here's another line of thought, as well---some people could use the "kissing test" as a way to reject a person preemptively---before that person has a chance to reject them.

These same people will continue to insist that kissing their date on a first meet is an accurate way to gauge interest, or lack thereof---despite other people's repeated arguments to the contrary.

Personally, I think using the "kissing test" is a power play borne of insecurity. There are no guarantees that one won't be rejected after the first meet; however, I think a better way to minimize rejection is to post current photos that accurately depict one's present appearance.

It's far easier on the ego for people to decide they're not a match before meeting one another than after wasting their time and money on a date---only to discover when they go in for a kiss, that there isn't mutual attraction.
 justlookingvt
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 49
A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/11/2012 9:28:33 PM
I believe you have a point. I hadn't thought about it that way. Probably because it would not occur to me. ;-) (I'm not saying you'd do that by the way.)

I also agree on your assessment of the "kissing test" being borne of insecurity. I also suspect that in some cases the "time savings" is just a way of determining how quickly the participants can bed each other. Of course, I'm sure this last thought is completely unfounded. ;-) (oink, oink... LOL)

From my viewpoint, once I've met a girl, I can sense if she is interested. I wish I could sense if she is married though or some other hidden deal breaker. LOL. C'est la vie! :-)
A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/11/2012 9:53:55 PM
A girl friend I met here, once told me that she had a very pleasant date with a man (this was years ago) & at the end he kissed her good night & said he would call her tomorrow. He later emailed her & told her that he would not be seeing her again, because she kissed him good night. In his opinion, a woman who kissed on the first date, was VERY LIKELY to cheat. She messaged him back & asked him, if she had been receptive & willing, would he have slept with her, even though he'd already concluded that she "wasn't girl-friend material", by his standards. His answer was "Sure, I've done it many times." She replied to him, "Then, by my standards, you aren't boyfriend material, anyway. So, no loss."

I damn near fell off my chair laughing, when I heard that one! You go, girl!!
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 52
A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/12/2012 8:24:10 AM

Some people use a person's looks or prison record to reject a person pre-emptively. Oh wait, that means if I reject a woman, I must be doing it so she doesn't reject me first. Be serious.


Me be serious? Rejection only occurs after you've met someone in person, not before, so those examples don't count. If I had the mindset that I were being "rejected" every time someone viewed my photo and profile and didn't contact me, I'd go nuts. I think most of us would.

On the other hand, if you're dismissing a woman because she didn't kiss you after the first meet, then yes, you may be rejecting her preemptively. Several women mentioned that they don't kiss on the first meet even though they're attracted to the guy and would like to see him again.

I didn't kiss my partner of over two years on the first meet. He's an attorney and had to go meet a client, so actually, he was the one that cut the date short and didn't try to kiss me. I could have told him I didn't think there was enough chemistry after he asked to see me again, but I didn't do that.



These same people will continue to insist that kissing their date on a first meet is an accurate way to gauge interest, or lack thereof---despite other people's repeated arguments to the contrary.


I go by what people do, not what people say. This is no different and few things in life have proven as reliable as a kiss.


How do you know for sure the woman wasn't attracted to you? Unless you're speaking about a woman that actually stiffened up and turned her head away or said "Stop" when you leaned in, kissing is not a fool-proof indicator of attraction. Some women are very convincing actresses.



Personally, I think using the "kissing test" is a power play borne of insecurity.


That's what you would say if you feel like a decision is taken away from you. However, you can't be in control all of the time.


I didn't agree to meet men who didn't provide current photos of themselves, so if you want to accuse me of being controlling for that reason, that's your prerogative. I'm sure some folks would disagree with you on the photo issue.
 Brissy1985
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 53
A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/12/2012 9:04:42 AM
kissing is not a fool-proof indicator of attraction. Some women are very convincing actresses.


I think kissing is defintely a fool proof indicator of attraction .

If the guy went in for a kiss at some point in the date, and I wasn't attracted to him, I probably wouldn't turn my head and further humiliate him, but it would be a closed mouthed kiss and quick - no tongue- (guys indicate from that, you're not attracted to him- if they don't they should). Then leave pretty soon after the attempted snog- as at that point the whole situation will be awkward. So, yeah kissing is a big indicator- not the only one, but a big one.

 justlookingvt
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 55
A kiss for me, what's your make or break act?
Posted: 7/12/2012 11:07:55 AM


Well, it looks like women are damned if they do and damned if they don't. The sad thing is, we don't know which kind of man we are dealing with. The kind that won't date us if we don't kiss them or the kind that won't take us serious if we do.




You're looking at it as if it's the man's decision instead of yours. Decide which man you want and do what you feel is best for you. That's what I do with respect to women. If a guy doesn't date you because you didn't kiss him, so what? He wasn't the guy you were looking for. You weren't a match. It's no big deal to find out you aren't compatible, especially on a first date.


I rarely agree with Abelian but, I agree with the sentiment quoted above.

Kissing or not kissing on the first date reflects the meaning we place on a kiss and indirectly a part of our value system. If there is no match in the value system, there is no hope of a relationship.

As a "curiosity" I will mention I know a number of males and _females_ that will kiss on the first date _only_ if their intentions are limited to getting laid, they won't otherwise. For them, a first date kiss implies there is little, if any, hope for a serious relationship. In those cases, there is obviously attraction but the kiss is an indicator of something totally different.
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