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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > When is it time to call it a day      Home login  
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 benedict4900
Joined: 5/28/2012
Msg: 1
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When is it time to call it a dayPage 1 of 1    
I have been in a steady relationship for some time, but the last 6 mths have been hell. There have been major breaches of trust nearly every month and when i find out, she swears it will never happen again. I know i have let her get away with a lot and this might be why. She is now doing things to herself to get my attention and i am worried that losing me will be hard on her. It is a weird relationship as she does things to push me away and then says she loves me. I have always told her the truth but she lies all the time. I know she has trust issues but i think something has changed fundamentally in the last year and i find it impossible to trust her now. I want to know if it can be worth saving, Should i move out and see where things go?, should i try one more time ?, or finally should i run and never look back?.
Give me your views please.
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 2
When is it time to call it a day
Posted: 7/5/2012 6:41:47 PM
Personally, it takes trust as a fundamental in any relationship. If that's broken, it's very difficult to regain.

Your trust has been broken many times, so why are you still in a toxic relationship?

You have two choices; fight for the relationship and risk being broken all over again and stay and try to fix things or, leave. Is she meeting your needs at all?

Me; I wouldn't put up with it. I am deserving of better. Been there, done that and have learned.

The best predictor of a relationship is past behaviour.

There are no mistakes ...only lessons learned.

Btw; according to your profile of being single, you have already moved on with no effort.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 3
When is it time to call it a day
Posted: 7/5/2012 6:46:48 PM
Why do you list your dating status as single when you're involved. This is just your take on the situation but it's fairly obviously you're not owning up to your own part. So you're trolling a dating site "hot to trot" and in a long term relationship. I think you should stay with her, you both appear to deserve each other. Just leave the rest of us ACTUALLY SINGLE people alone.
 benedict4900
Joined: 5/28/2012
Msg: 4
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When is it time to call it a day
Posted: 7/5/2012 6:53:47 PM
I think I have moved on and have not asked for comments on my relationship status. Most people come with baggage of one form or another.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 5
When is it time to call it a day
Posted: 7/5/2012 6:59:25 PM
"have not asked for comments on my relationship status" It's relevant if you're IN a relationship and listing yourself as single. The way you stated it "I have been in" suggests present tense, not I WAS in. Don't get your panties in a twist if you don't word your OP correctly.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 6
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When is it time to call it a day
Posted: 7/5/2012 7:07:39 PM
When should one call it a "day?" Why, when it has reached a length of twenty-four hours, of course.

When ought one terminate an adventure in humanity? When one has learned what one must, in order to be certain one wishes to proceed no further.

Learning requires different time and suffering for each person.

As I have already been through the no-trust wringer, the split second at which the first traitorous act occurred, would be the end, for me. Before I learned what I know about myself now, I suffered for many years.
 benedict4900
Joined: 5/28/2012
Msg: 7
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When is it time to call it a day
Posted: 7/5/2012 7:13:56 PM
Thanks for ur views, hypothetical is the right word I did not expect any spot on advice, I just thought it was a good topic as i stayed in mine for much longer than i should have. I think it is not always easy to make a clean break especially when u have been together for so long and been through alot together. I would have prefered to end things in an adult manner but sometimes it's just not possible and u just have to do what's u have to do to avoid a very ugly and messy ending.
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 8
When is it time to call it a day
Posted: 7/5/2012 7:16:03 PM
About 5 months and 3 weeks ago.
 cr4zycupcake
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 10
When is it time to call it a day
Posted: 7/5/2012 9:39:52 PM
She sounds like a pain in the arse. Dump her while you still have your own sanity.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 11
When is it time to call it a day
Posted: 7/6/2012 10:09:49 AM
Whenever I have a troubling question, I usually try and look at it and answer it as brutally honest as possible as if I'm another person. Then... I own it.


Alot of us know what the answer is but we just don't want to face it.
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