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 AUTHOR
 gbntbedtyr
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 1
Grocery Store Dating.Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I just commented, yesterday I think it was, about having never found someone in a Grocery Store, then last night it happens. This great looking chick in front of me at the checkout counter hits on me. Ok when I was younger this may have happened a lot, not in a Grocery Store, but at School, at College, and especially when I worked the Circuses and Carnivals, even in the Military. But as I've gotten Old, that all faded away. To be hit on again made my day, to say the least. Beautiful girl, very sincere, open, intelligent. But then she let that Husband word slip out, her expression said that was an oops, and worse I could see the hurt in her eyes as I walked away.

Did I read her wrong, maybe, but I don't think so. There will always be that male female uncertainty / misreading between the sexes, survival of the species animal attraction vs polite society. But I am certain that if she hadn't been married, we would have had a very enriching evening.

Why did the Fates deliver me a Married Woman? Well guess I might look a little more toward Grocery Shopping next time, or is it maybe I should stop avoiding the crowds and shop more often early in the month?
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 2
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History
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/6/2012 12:35:38 PM
Grocery shopping is the best way to meet other people. Seriously.

Some people that go to grocery stores do so to interact with other customers or the workers and forget what they were there to buy lol.
 Arata_na_Yoake
Joined: 1/25/2012
Msg: 3
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/6/2012 1:42:38 PM
There are some pretty cute girls that go to or work at the Super Target across the street. One of these days I'll turn off my iPod and make a move. Maybe.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 4
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/6/2012 2:37:42 PM

I've had to stop making eye contact with men at stores and similar places because they think I'm interested.
I've had to stop randomly smiling at people who happen to be men at stores and similar places because they think I'm flirting.
I've had to stop chit-chatting with men while standing in lines at stores and similar places because they think I'm hitting on them.


This is my experience, too. My sister tells me I should scowl all the time.


Did I read her wrong, maybe, but I don't think so.


Yes, you read her wrong.
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 5
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/6/2012 3:48:26 PM
Does 'hitting on you' just mean talking to you?

I've noticed lots of times in a grocery check out line that the person behind me tends to 'crowd me', when I need to do a financial transaction that involves info I don't want to share with a stranger. Pin numbers and the like. Men, especially like to 'hog space'. I ,in turn, often engage them in conversation if they insist on invading my space. It tends to catch them off guard, a woman taking the initiative to speak to them without being spoken to first.

Sometimes women establishing their own boundaries are mistaken for hitting on men, just for opening their mouths to speak. The 'hurt in her eyes' at not being available to have an 'enriching evening with you' may just have been annoyance at you invading her space.

The Fates have nothing to do with it.

Not that the 'grocery store hook-up' is a bad idea. You might try lingering in the produce section and check out women fondling the cukes!
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 6
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Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/6/2012 4:52:45 PM
There is a butcher shop just around the corner from work. I've been going there for years. I known the staff and I always chat with them. A few months ago, I noticed the new guy who would take my order would blush a little when we spoke. I just assumed he was a little shy. A few weeks ago he said "can I ask you something?" I said sure. And he then said "are you really this happy all the time, every time I see you, you seem really happy, is that for real?" I blinked a couple of times, to register what he was saying and could see that he was serious. I told him that yes I was.

The point, OP, is that sometimes people look at you deeply to flirt and sometimes it's because there is a simple, nice energy between two strangers that is shared - no agenda, no plan, just a lovely experience in the here and now.
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/6/2012 5:13:47 PM
last time i went to a supermarket, i hooked up with a couple of firm, sweet melons and a rump roast, plus a bag of charcoal briquettes, which led to a very hot evening. and nutritionally enriching to boot.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 8
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/6/2012 5:44:48 PM
^^^^ I had a nice conversation with a cute and if I can say so hot lady the other night at Safeway in the checkout lane. I didn't pursue it even though she wasn't wearing a ring, because of how much groceries she bought and the items in her cart. I may have missed out, but it looked like she might be in a relationship, by the items she bought.



CawkBlawker
I wear earbuds and sunglasses when I go shopping. I pay little to no attention of other people in food stores.


That's a good way to get mugged, robbed, or assaulted, by not paying attention to your surroundings you'll never see the trouble before it's too late. When I'm out in public my head is on a swivel always looking everywhere. I want to see them before they see me.
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 9
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/6/2012 6:03:14 PM
I had a nice conversation with a man who asked me about mushrooms at the produce isle. That was all it was - a pleasant conversation!
 gbntbedtyr
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 10
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/6/2012 6:20:40 PM
Boy, what a lot of negativity. Girls, if you prejudge everything and everyone how are you going to find someone you might like. Life is too short to throw it all away vested in such negative energy. Embrace the moment for whatever beauty it may bring, because that moment you will never have again. And I can tell you for a fact, from experience, we get old much too quickly, and wonder how we could have done better, how we could have enjoyed, or enriched life more. But all we can ever do anything about is hear and now, a new moment to embrace.

As for guys hoping that you mean more then what you say and asking you out, well hey you can find another planet if you like, but this one here, the man is suppose to ask, and if he doesn't trust me he will spend a long life alone. What is so hard about a polite, "thanks, but no thanks"?

As for Bars as the prime Dating Arena, ug, and we wonder why the Divorce Rate is so high. We don't make good decisions while Drunk or High. Being able to talk with someone, should be the first step in any "good" relationship. And being able to remember what the other said would be a nice second step.

As for conversation talk, vs interest. Well I'm sure I've missed a few ques over the years from girls that girls that can only think to ask what I thought of the weather, even been told by friends how I hurt some girls feelings that I didn't ask them out after such. But when the right girl is interested in you it shows.

I had a good experience at the GS, it left me feeling happy, a little sad that she wasn't available, but it felt good to have someone express an interest in me. If we could all do that for each other, instead of the negatives, what a beautiful world this would be.

flaneur001, You Go Girl! Beautiful attitude, beautiful outlook!
 RT_2
Joined: 11/5/2010
Msg: 11
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/6/2012 6:34:04 PM
OP, did you check for a ring? Shoulda done that early on. If the married woman didn't have a ring, she was especially deceitful to you. She disrespected her husband in any case.

I have the power to get grocery workers to open a new line. If an attractive gal is next to me in line, and she and I start a promising conversation, the CBing worker appears to open the new line. On the bright side, I get out sooner. Last time, the gal, a gorgeous blonde with a magnetic personality, was parked really close to me so we got to speak some more.

Single people do grocery shopping when families are home having dinner. I go after work when it's less crowded, fewer moms with multiple carts and separate food stamp and cash purchases.

High maintenance women look for men at Whole Foods, a meat market - ironic term because many customers are vegan.

I like it when girls speak to me at Aldi's (inexpensive). Not gold diggers.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 12
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/6/2012 7:35:14 PM

Its important to read body language carefully and if you dont have that skill you are pretty much screwed. It is essential.

Women should learn this too...animals know it, we've socialized some of our animal instincts away...
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 13
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/6/2012 8:23:48 PM

Boy, what a lot of negativity. Girls, if you prejudge everything and everyone how are you going to find someone you might like.


Actually, I met my present boyfriend at a grocery store, but it took running into him three times over the course of a year before we exchanged phone numbers (well, ok, the third time was at Taco Bell--we frequent high class establishments).

OP, the problem isn't so much men speaking to me, but the ones who cannot distinguish between a "Hey, how are ya?" and, "Oh, my, well, how ARE you?" A man once said to me, "I like your hair." I thanked him. Then, "I like your dress"--another thank you. When he started getting around to my shoes and pantyhose, I moved on.


What is so hard about a polite, "thanks, but no thanks"?


It becomes hard when a man won't take "no" for an answer.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 14
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/6/2012 11:41:14 PM

OP, did you check for a ring? Shoulda done that early on. If the married woman didn't have a ring, she was especially deceitful to you. She disrespected her husband in any case.


Really. So she’d deliberately remove her wedding ring to deceptively pick up a guy at the grocery store for a nasty night together, just to turn around and tell him all about her husband. That makes sense.
 gbntbedtyr
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 15
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/7/2012 7:48:58 AM
RT_2 Aldi, cheep grocery store in Vegas, surely you jest, and I could only wish. But yes I do as a mater of habit check for a ring, not that it matters in the realm of polite conversation, but certainly I'm always testing the waters when there is no ring, like seeing if she's interested in cars, etc. I didn't see a ring, but she did have nervous hands. Should have been a clue to stay away.

BLoNde__ANgeL, let me second that.

Gwendolyn2010

"Hey, how are ya?" and, "Oh, my, well, how ARE you?"

Well said, only I wish the girls would learn it too, I do truly regret having not picked up on a couple of those girls that only made conversation and meant more. But, oh well, you can't win them all.

mysterioustallmn, stalkers, I don't think anyone likes them, well I'm sure there is someone that does, but... Had a few too many of those myself. Ug, and yikes. I do love people, and greatly enjoy talking to most anyone, so I understand the anxiety the early part of this post, but I won't let those few bad ruin my life, I'm not going to change, just because I might pick up a creep. Sounds like you did the right thing regarding yours.

miami_man81 I seem to run into that bf problem most in Auto Part stores. A girl that knows about cars is always an instant attraction to me, but they always already have a bf.

Fleuron, Indeed, and probably the biggest reason I moved to the next line, my gut was telling me she was on the prowl, looking for someone to cheat with, not my scene. As attractive as she was, and as magnetic as her interest in me was, my guts were turning, saying, run! The husband, was as I said a slip, she looked away when she slipped, and made to cover her mouth, but then changed course and made lite of it.

bigbellyoflaughs, wish it were that simple.

Infinity_G, I think your saying that anyone is approachable, and I agree. Everyone wears something, or is buying something that says something about them, and if that something is interesting, there is your point in common, your spark of interest.
 Reg_Herring
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 16
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/7/2012 8:27:53 AM

Unlike a bar, where there is a reasonable chance that someone is single and looking, you simply can't know at a store.


You can't know anywhere (bar, store, library) without asking. It seems that so many people attach emotional trauma with having to say "no".
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 17
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/7/2012 3:06:03 PM

I know what you mean, women aren't as approachable by strangers in public.


A woman who smiles is approachable! My experiences in the last week:

Parking lot at Walmart, I am putting my "stuff" in the car. Guy walks by and says, "Hi." I respond, "Hi." He says, "How are you?" I respond, "Good, you?" Suddenly, he is standing next to me, asking me my name and if my hair color is natural. Dude! Then, he asks if he gives me his phone number, would I call him?

Today, Wendy's. I eat my baked potato, plain, salt and pepper, and my grilled chicken wrap, no sauce. The guy across the restaurant keeps glancing at me. I get up to go, so does he. "How are you"? he asks. "Fine," I reply. The main door opens in a foyer with doors opposite each other; I deliberately take the door he doesn't take, but he manages to walk by my car. He makes a remark about the weather. I answer. He says he is going back to work and I say that I am going shopping. He tells me that he is SINGLE and likes to shop, too. I say that I am going to meet my boyfriend. He looks disappointed and walks away.

It is not my nature to be rude (despite what people on POF forums might think). I smile a lot and am friendly: it does not mean that I am hitting on every man at whom I smile. Why should I go against my nature because men can't read the difference between a smile and a "come hither" smile?
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 18
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History
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/7/2012 3:27:27 PM

Why did the Fates deliver me a Married Woman? Well guess I might look a little more toward Grocery Shopping next time, or is it maybe I should stop avoiding the crowds and shop more often early in the month?


Perhaps 'Fates' presented you a nice person, and you took the instance as her hitting on you.
People can be friendly you know...I know, amazing to think about, but really..there are nice, cordial, people out there.
 Reg_Herring
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 19
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/7/2012 4:34:41 PM
This thread has changed into "Women, whine and bytch about how horrible life is because those nasty inferior men dare think they're worthy of talking to us!"
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 20
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/7/2012 6:57:10 PM

This thread has changed into "Women, whine and bytch about how horrible life is because those nasty inferior men dare think they're worthy of talking to us!"


And now it has turned into a man whining because apparently, he has been turned down once too often when he tried hitting on women in grocery stores.

I have no problem with guys who talk with me; I do get tired of the pathetic look in the eyes of some when I say, "No, thanks." I also hate it when they persist after I do say, "No, thanks."


Women are on all sorts of drugs these days. Texting while driving, taking six bathroom pics and posting all of them
concurrently on POF. Wearing Birkenstocks in public. Then about 10pm they realize they forgot to get laid this month and viola, there you are!!


You mean like the men who are also on all sorts of drugs these days? They text while driving, take bathroom pics and post them on POF, show their nasty toes in sandals in public, and never get laid.

Such is life.
 CaliforniaDreamer57
Joined: 5/17/2012
Msg: 21
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/7/2012 10:03:27 PM
OMG This 1 is just too great! I work in a grocery store and part of the job discription is "Customer Service" And I work in produce as well. Anyway, when trying to be nice and give good sevice, they think you are coming on to them. It can be quite an experience!
 Reg_Herring
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 22
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/8/2012 2:24:42 AM
I laugh at women who think that a man being friendly to them is "hitting" on them. Some of you women need to get over yourselves.
 wanderer1999
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 23
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History
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/8/2012 3:09:46 AM
It's a myth that you can "meet" women at grocery stores. It gets repeated over and over, but that doesn't make it true. Maybe it's good practice to socialize and talk with people, but that's about it.


Not a myth. Just has it's own set of rules like any place you go.

The direct approach is often the worst choice in a grocery store. Asking advice is often a good entre. Not being over aggressive or appearing threatening is important, and as mentioned above being able to read body language well so that you can gracefully exit if they're not interested.

Also, if it's a place you go regularly, sometimes you'll need to run into them multiple times over several visits (plant the seeds so to speak).
 SSC-SAF
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 24
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/8/2012 8:43:53 AM
All I know is that after reading this and the gym thread, some people are unfriendly, paranoid, socially inept, full of themselves, and/or ultra-sensitive to their own feelings without thinking of the feelings of others.

Cowboy is right. Social interaction - whether between the genders or within them - is an art, but it ain't rocket science. You have to practice it to get better at it. There is nothing wrong with being friendly but not rude, nor is there anything wrong with learning how to shut down the occasionally rude person who takes things too far. I've found that 99 times out of 100 they do so because they haven't practiced enough social interactions to have learned how to be gracious. The 1% who cross the line? I'm not going to worry about that person until I meet him, and then I know what to do.

I'm glad that I live in an area where people are still friendly at the gym, or the store, or in other public settings without being intrusive.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 25
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/8/2012 2:34:59 PM

I laugh at women who think that a man being friendly to them is "hitting" on them. Some of you women need to get over yourselves.


Hmmm . . . when men ask/say, "Are you married/dating/have a boyfriend?" "Can I have your phone number?" "Will you call me if I give you my phone number?" "Would you like to have dinner?" "What are you doing later today?" "Would you like to go do something?" "I really like your hair, can I touch it?" "You are attractive," or "I am single, you know"--that isn't hitting on me? Of course men speak and are not hitting on me, but unlike some of the men on this thread, I am quite capable of determining who is being friendly and who has an interest.

An 80+ year old man once spent 15 minutes or more talking to me while I was trying to grade papers, ignoring my "uh-huhs" and "Oh, really, that's nice--I need to get back to my work." His parting salvo was a story about him having sex with a red-haired woman back in the day and breaking the bed. As I sat there, open-mouthed that he would relate such a story to me, he said, "You look just like her."


by not being intrusive do you mean people not taking pictures of your debit/credit card while you're checking out


What about in the produce section? (Grin.)
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