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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?      Home login  
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 AtheistMan
Joined: 6/29/2012
Msg: 1
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?Page 1 of 1    
Many single moms refused to date men with kids before they became single parents. Now that they're single parents, they have a change of heart. I want a woman who has no kids so I can be the first to get her pregnant.

I met someone who refused to be with me BEFORE she got pregnant. Now that she has a baby, she wants to be with me. I simply ignore her callls
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 2
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/7/2012 9:46:28 AM
It's not wrong.. but it's going to be harder for you to find a date. And it's rather contradictory.. date me when I have a kids, but I won't date you if you do! Like I said.. it's not wrong.. we all want what we want.. but it will make it harder. Glad you got your baby momma pregnant just to leave her huh? Quite a selfish attitude imo.
 AtheistMan
Joined: 6/29/2012
Msg: 3
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/7/2012 9:50:12 AM
I didn't get her pregnant just to leave her. I tried to stay with her but she was doing things that were bad for the kids. Don't assume things before you know the full story
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 4
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/7/2012 11:33:18 AM
welcome to the forums.. ;~)

You probably shouldn't date and should focus on the kids.
 friendshipcomesfirst
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 5
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/7/2012 12:52:24 PM
Honestly, Nothing wrong with it... you may have to date women who are younger, and make sure she wants kids. Sound to me like you are being selfish- afterall, you want "to be the first" to get her pregnant when you have already been blessed with that experience...

Good luck on your fishing
 breezynmd
Joined: 2/20/2010
Msg: 6
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I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/7/2012 12:59:43 PM
You're a single young good looking guy and should have whatever you want. Two single parents dating is a very complicated situation. She has her own kid, and ex, you have yours, weekends become a constant juggling of four adults with busy schedules while you try and nurture a new relationship. If you were in your 40's i'd say good luck not finding a woman without baggage, but at 33.... fish in a barrel my friend.

B
 nettawoman
Joined: 2/9/2012
Msg: 7
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/7/2012 2:51:34 PM
Well, I feel like this. Yes you have the right to your opinion and to date whomever you choose. BUT lets see, a woman who has kids of her own, you are more able to relate to her situation. As in finding time when the kids are a handful etc... Sure you can find a woman, who will date you but I am telling you as a single mother; I am more attracted to the men who have full custody of their children.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 8
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/7/2012 3:39:37 PM

I want a woman who has no kids so I can be the first to get her pregnant.
Do you get a badge for that?
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 9
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I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/7/2012 5:02:38 PM
Wrong?

No.

Possibly indicative of a psychological insecurity, petulance, childishness, lack of logical thought, prejudice...maybe.

You don't explain much of anything here, and what you do describe, you do in a confusing enough way, that it would be easy for a reader to think that you got the woman pregnant who you then dumped; that you are going to take this "I'm ignoring you" revenge upon EVERY woman who has a child, to get back at the ONE who turned you down before getting pregnant by someone else; and that you are making up an entire philosophical cover story in order to excuse your illogical actions.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 10
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I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/7/2012 5:17:26 PM
There are a lot of valid reasons to prefer to date someone who doesn't have kids. Even to start a family of their own together. But only so you can be the first one to get her pregnant? You don't say it's so you can have kids that are yours together. That just sounds weird and creepy.

Why is it ok for you to have gotten someone else pregnant (since you have kids), but you have to be the first man to get a woman pregnant? Is this some weird macho thing you want to do so you can brag to your friends about it, like being her "first"?
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 11
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/8/2012 2:45:42 AM
I understand your frustration. Men do bypass my profile mainly because I am a mother already, though I have kept the option of having another child, being an auntie to somebody else's children, potential adoption(s), or grandchildren, open.

Although I love and respect children, it's usually the father whose situation regarding the care of his children I question. Many have poorly relationships with their children and the mothers; I hear complaints about the ex excessively or how the ex is this and that, good or bad, and frankly, I don't want to hear it. In addition to this, I'm looking forward to graduate studies- finally - after working on dual undergraduate degrees for ten years (earning the first fairly recently), now that my youngest is approaching eleven and he's old enough to take some independence of his own while I'm away (his sister being 21, working and studying herself, also lovingly takes a part in her brother's life); this would not be ideal if I were to start a long term with a father of very young children with many needs I could not (really, could) afford and offer them, until I have finished my advanced studies at least. My principal concern is the well-being of my own children.

What disturbs me is this excerpt from your post:


I want a woman who has no kids so I can be the first to get her pregnant.


This is disturbingly honest, as most heterosexual men in bachelorhood do think this, right away; but, it's most irresponsible of you. You already have children who need your love and support, so why would you bring more children into the world you can't possibly emotionally support?
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 12
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/8/2012 2:48:43 AM
OP: One more note - your profile is aggressively negative (not the part about atheism, but about women).
 Wireburner
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 13
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/9/2012 6:03:33 PM
I find it rather hypocritical to be unwilling to date someone who has a child of her own already, while you have one too.

You said previously in this thread that you didn't stay with the mother of your child because she was doing things bad for the child, and now you have a child with her. There are many women out there who have a child from someone who was "bad for the kids" and are in the same boat as you; single and with a child from a failed relationship.

But your reasoning is just poor taste... "To be the first to get her pregnant?" Why don't you just narrow that a bit more and say you don't want to date anyone who has had sex in the past? Dude... that is just a perverted reason to not want to date a woman with kids.
 Heavens85
Joined: 7/6/2012
Msg: 14
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/9/2012 6:39:00 PM
Im a single mum and i did everything in my power to stay with my kids dad but he cheated treated me terrible and eventually left me i tryed soo hard to make it work even tho i was unhappy. Does this mean i deserve to be single forever and im not worthy of someone elses love?
 Wireburner
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 15
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/9/2012 6:50:37 PM
^^ that seems to be the long and short of it from my experiences ^^
 kawasakiprincess
Joined: 5/13/2007
Msg: 16
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/10/2012 11:42:18 AM
lol as a women with no kids i date men with no kids lol its not wrong but u wanna be the first to get her pregnant unfortunately she can't be the first to push out your child..
 blissfulyogini
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 17
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/10/2012 10:54:03 PM
Yes, you are wrong. You are a single parent so you must understand that many women will eliminate you off the bat as a potential dating partner. It will be more difficult for you to find a single woman with no kids who would even consider you and it's important to acknowledge this. Nobody said it's fair, but that's just what some people (male AND female) prefer.

It sounds to me like she changed her mind about you after seeing her prospective dating pool shrink as a result of her having a child now. You may feel as though the shoe is on the other foot now but that is the reality for single parents who attempt to date anyone. IMO, single parents should ultimately expect to settle for other single parents and not cling to unrealistic expectations..

Perhaps she thought that you, as a single dad (whom she had previously ruled out) would be empathetic to her situation and would now like another chance? At least now you two will have something in common. Good luck.
 kawasakiprincess
Joined: 5/13/2007
Msg: 18
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/14/2012 6:02:02 PM
blissful bam!!!!! you nailed it
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 19
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/14/2012 6:17:41 PM
I want a woman who has no kids so I can be the first to get her pregnant.

????????

Are you even worthy to be the father of her kids? whoever she is.
 heypretty
Joined: 6/27/2012
Msg: 20
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/14/2012 7:07:47 PM
Well you know what you want.
 ben1734
Joined: 5/25/2012
Msg: 21
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/15/2012 5:07:49 AM
you should be giving single mums a fair go most childless woman will run away from you ?
 funluvin-83
Joined: 7/1/2012
Msg: 22
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/15/2012 11:58:21 AM
It isn't wrong. I would love to date someone who didnt have kidsa and I have 3 kids all from a previous marriage. I would still date someone with kids but I have noticed from my past relationships that the guy really favors his kid or kids and it isnt fair to my kids. I think when you meet the right woman if she does or doesnt have kids you will know its right. I know there is a guy out there that can treat my kids equally as their own . Being a single parent isnt easy. Good Luck and I am sure you will find what your looking for... You should never settle for less in life, if you cant find what you want in a woman then stay single :) Im picky and if I cant find what I want then I dont need a man....
 UniquelyPassionateCandy
Joined: 8/6/2011
Msg: 23
I'm a single dad. Am I wrong for not wanting a woman with any kids?
Posted: 7/15/2012 3:37:17 PM
You aren't wrong for wanting what you want....We all have things we want, however that doesn't mean we always get what we want.

Because you are a single dad your dating pool gets a bit more shallow and there are lots of women who don't have kids who won't be interested in you. Just the way it is! I had to come to accept that as a single mom, there are plenty of men who feel the same way. I keep an open mind, so I will date a man with kids or without. I suggest you keep an open mind too. That doesn't mean you have to settle, but the one for you might just have kids.
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