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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > How do I attract the right type of man?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 3
How do I attract the right type of man? Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)

How do I attract the right type of man?


Well(yeah,here goes Walt,AGAIN, on a little rant), I would suggest improving your life(you) and gaining more experince(any experince) before starting to "search" for a man. Right now, you're gonna be dealing with boys,unless of course you want dirty old men like me start chasing ya.With your experinces you will gain the knowledge of what you will find "attractive" and what your "needs" are in a long term relationship. At 19, sorry, no matter what ya think, you're not even close yet.

Get outside and play!!!!!!!!!

(are they getting younger in the pond or what???????)

Reread your question, and it just proves that I am NOT wrong in my thinking here.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 4
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How do I attract the right type of man?
Posted: 7/12/2012 5:15:07 AM
I agree with Walts. Your biggest problem at your age range is, that the GUYS you are dealing with, don't themselves know whether they actually like you as a person, or just want to practice making babies with you.

Their blood chemistry is churning at least as hard as yours, and even the intense players among them haven't had time to come to understand what the words "serious relationship" actually mean.

Since most people of any age want a mate who DOES show at least some degree of obsessive interest and/or desire for them, trying to instantly recognize the difference between a self-deluded, DNA prodded, hormone infested (but otherwise "nice") person, and one who actually has some sense of reality and of themselves in the course of their lives, requires a LOT of careful work.

I would go with what most of us codgers are likely to say, which is to

1) protect yourself from danger first and always (birth control, STD protection, safe dating locations and practices, no drugs);

and

2) don't get THAT serious with anyone, for at least six months. Everyone in your age range (and way too many of us older idiots) are so caught up with stories of "how love ought to be," that discerning what it actually is, even within yourself, is a huge challenge.

Realize you are going to make mistakes, and just use step #1 to minimize how much the mistakes deflect your life.

I guess the only general rule to suggest you follow, is to note how smoothly a given guy seems to deal with everything. The more in control and confident he appears to be about how much he cares about you, and how wonderful and perfect you are, and the more easy it is to deal with him you feel, the more likely it is that he is an accomplished womanizing player. In other words, "too good to be true"= "not true."
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 7
How do I attract the right type of man?
Posted: 7/12/2012 2:52:41 PM
Look behind the neck. There's the bar codes and the warranty information. It will tell you all you need to know about the right type of men. However, you do not get refunds, but you can still exchange them for a different model.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 8
How do I attract the right type of man?
Posted: 7/12/2012 7:15:03 PM
I'm pretty sure the problem is the guys you're attracted to. If this has been a recurrent problem, then it's you.

You probably like the stuff these guys do at the beginning, so you end up in a serious relationship. With time, you'll come to recognize these things as red flags.
How do I attract the right type of man?
Posted: 7/12/2012 8:21:19 PM
I agree with TheLongSpring (msg 8). That's what I did at your age, well actually a bit younger, I was already divorced once by your age. LOL. But too much of an age difference can be a problem in terms of life experiences/goals, being on the same page, etc. So I would say, younger than 35. Maturity varies a lot between one person & the next, as well as the usual gender differences.

Ok, I just re-read your profile & your restrictions are pretty good. If 30 is what you're comfortable with, then leave that. Good luck, OP.
 nobilisofwind
Joined: 6/12/2010
Msg: 12
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How do I attract the right type of man?
Posted: 7/15/2012 4:06:19 PM
I agree with HalftimeDad. You should examine your past partners for any pattern of behavior that would give them away in a shorter amount of time.

You should definitely not follow cawkblocker's advice. At 30, your market value is going to be way lower than it is now. Look at all the older men and women on this site. Should you really be taking advice from them? Do you want to be single at their age?
 Thornz2000
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 14
How do I attract the right type of man?
Posted: 7/15/2012 8:22:28 PM
Well I would say when your out on a date ask yourself-
Do I feel we are on the same page and things are clicking?
Can I see myself with him 1yr down the road and further?
Is he listening to what I am talking about or just nodding his head?
What does he talk about?
When he is talking about something what is he passionate about?
Make a list of qualities you must have in a man as well.
There is a few things to think about.

There is no way to know about a person till you been with them for a while. Also if you live together over time most people do change. Some a little, some a lot. Some good and some bad.

Time together is your real ruler how that person will measure up to you and how you measure up to him.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 15
How do I attract the right type of man?
Posted: 7/16/2012 9:23:54 AM
get to know yourself well. Its hard to know if someone's really interested in something other than your body...if you don't know what it is you are offering besides your body. Once you know all the things that make up your personality, then you can observe if they notice some or any of them, or do they not even see more than one.

Second clue is, the obsession....do they go to extremes over you, while barely knowing you? That's a red flag. What are they obsessing over, if they barely know what's there to obsess over? What they are really doing, is thinking how having someone as hot as you will make their life somehow better.

so, do they have a life besides you? do you think they need someone like you to make their own life interesting? do they seem bored with what's going on in their life ,and need something new and shiny (that'd be you) to get that spark for life back?
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 16
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How do I attract the right type of man?
Posted: 7/16/2012 1:14:25 PM
Cawk and gtomustang are essentially right that when both men and women are in their 30s they really are better at relationship choices.... for men the hormones settle just a little and they begin to discover the satisfaction and fullness they can feel when in an authentic relationship as opposed to always hit and run hook ups.... women also begin to see beyond a fairy tale and become more realistic and clear on their needs/goals and the types of characters that will be stable for their life forward together.... these are only an improvement not a sure thing either.... stupidity is not always age related...

Attraction is rooted as life choices you make and your current lifestyle.... if you hang with wild types expect wild behaviors and drama.... if you hang with settled and mature ... expect the same in return.... stay away from ANYONE who does not conform to your general life choices as a first step...

Second step is to BECOME the person who is stable and clear on life choices and then a like minded male will find your lifestyle and character.... not just your body... as attractive and worthy of a quality relationship

Third step is to realize "life is like a box of chocolates... you never know what you will get".... be open to possibilities forward always

Fourth is always have fun, grow, learn, be emotionally available and cautious to pitfalls and traps or destructive people or choices...

Fifth is study and learn Kama Sutra and Tantric Lovemaking as your life practice forward
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