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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Define a healthy relationship      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 private-pilot
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 1
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Define a healthy relationshipPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
In conversations with some of my friends who, I have learned my views on relationships and whats healthy in a relationship and what isn't, radically differ. Granted out of five of my friends , 4 of them are in relationships, so of course my view will differ from theirs. So I wanted to get an idea of how single people would define a healthy relationship.
What is your definition of a healthy relationship between you and your husband/wife--------boyfriend/girlfriend?
Do you think the general definition will differ between men and women?
 vancitygurl78
Joined: 7/6/2012
Msg: 2
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/13/2012 3:57:55 PM
To me a healthy relationship between a boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife is based on open communication and trust. If 2 ppl can't trust one another and can't talk openly about anything to everything than it's going to create differences and problems in a relationship.

For me personally, I have dealt with alot of drama and emotional baggage in all my past relationships. To me now, a healthy relationship for me would be drama free of any sort. But everyone's views are different cuz every relationship is different from everyone!
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 3
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/13/2012 4:01:21 PM
Good question OP.

For me, it's an intimate relationship where we each accept neither is perfect but aim to be loving, supporting, respectful, accepting and understanding at all times. Where communication is open and no subject is taboo. Where we each try to find middle ground on our differences, if needed, and acknowledge that our way isn't the only way. Where we put each other above ourselves and realize that being a couple doesn't mean loosing our individuality.

EDIT FOR BELOW - Absolutely agreed.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 4
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Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/13/2012 4:05:31 PM
What Import said.

And, we are free to be ourselves, accepted for who we are, and neither is trying to change the other.

Also, we take responsibility for our own happiness and personal growth.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 5
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/13/2012 4:22:40 PM
Where both give to each other freely -- financially, emotionally and physically -- out of love, respect and a willingness to make the other happy.
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 6
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/13/2012 4:32:39 PM
Each treats the other lovingly, in ways the other person appreciates.
Each respects the other's needs and interests.
Complete trust (no jealousy, but also no fear of being "taken" financially or otherwise)
Each values the other's happiness as much as their own.
Each is willing to compromise, and understands that means both need to give and to gain in the compromise.
Each fights fair--stays on topic, uses appropriate language and tone of voice.
Each understands the other's needs for space and for closeness, and works to meet those needs.
Each respects the other's boundaries.
A healthy relationship contributes to one's happiness and sense of well being most of the time, and conflict is kept to a minimum.
 ChocoMamicita123
Joined: 7/3/2012
Msg: 7
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/13/2012 5:18:42 PM
both people respect eachother I think in the end that is the most important thing.
Openness/honesty
willing to forgive and forget(not reminding of the past mistakes)
compromise on both parties
trust
all in all a healthy relationship to me is when both people support/uplift eachother and the person you are with should make you want to be a better person.

my definition :)
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 8
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/13/2012 5:47:10 PM
Where you are you, and I am me.
We accept each other for who we are, and are NOT contemplating changing one another.
We are on the same page .... in the same book.
We care for one another and allow our fondness time to grow into love.
We respect each others weaknesses, and rejoice in each others strengths.
We put each other first, and by doing so each of us feels important to the other.
AND ... Communication takes TOP priority.
 GurugiGets
Joined: 6/1/2012
Msg: 9
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/13/2012 8:35:20 PM
really good sex and stuffing 1000's into her purse so she has no excuse not to stop by the hardware store and pick up some duck tape. when you give a lady cash it instantly creates a sense of freedom like she's having an orgasm.

that's communication.

trust? joke. don't forget we're talking about modern women here.

when the cops come to your door and say they got a report of a woman screaming, then you are a baller.

my last wife uncertain what was going on when I insisted she travel abroad without me to handle business. hearing her excitement while she was shopping in Madrid, getting custom suits made, lingerie shopping in Paris, breast flashing in front of the guards at Buckingham Palace - all worth it. all healthy experiences.
 badboy_transformed
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 10
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/13/2012 8:49:00 PM

Do you think the general definition will differ between men and women?


uh no...its very simple...

Trust
Communication
Sex

All three must be in good standing or no relationship will ever survive...

thread over....
 PhotoGirl870
Joined: 6/14/2012
Msg: 11
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/13/2012 8:59:50 PM
I think the most important thing for a relationship to be healthy is communication. I base this off of my parents relationship, and they are married. I see them and their marriage is what I hope to have one day, if I ever find the person to settle down with. I feel like if communication isn't there then trust is probably not there. I think to trust someone you have to be able to communicate with them. Also for a healthy relationship there should also be respect for one another. Also intimacy. I think intimacy is an important factor in any healthy relationship.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 12
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 4:45:11 AM
A healthy relationship is achieved by people who realize that they take effort. Even when "things are going well" they still require your time and energy to succeed.
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 13
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 6:33:00 AM
Trust and respect: both of which take time and significant effort to accomplish, as the relationship grows. There isn't any way around it and the internet will magically grant this to anybody, I don't care how special and wonderful they think they are.
 Extollere
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 14
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 8:18:42 AM
Bit of an idealist answer but here ya go:

Frequent laughter, playful banter, good attitudes, shared expectations, the pursuit of goals, constant growth, willingness to learn, unwavering support, mutual satisfaction, forgiveness for honest mistakes, heartfelt apologies, encouraged dreams, unbroken promises, backs gotten, open communication, expressed emotions, open ears, warm hearts, unspoken words with knowing smiles and glances, faced challenges, strongly built foundations, shared honesty and trust, embraced change, mutual appreciation, healthy competition, open acknowledgement of achievement, strong encouragement in the face of failure, an optimistic outlook, a shared sense of responsibility, fierce dedication, a pair of steel toed boots for the occasional kick in the ass we all need from time to time, inside jokes, unaired laundry, mature decisions, settled disagreements, soothed fears, trusted intentions, loving affection, plenty of shoulder room, and a great big collection of KEEP OUT/NO TRESPASSING/SECURED BY ADT signs for prying friends and family. Oh, and mirrors on the ceiling in the bedroom. Just sayin'.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 15
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 9:40:55 AM

You take care of the home, cook him meals and raise his children. Despite what the media has told you ladies - THIS WILL BRING YOU HAPPINESS.


^^ That is a LOAD OF CRAP,imo.

Op,to me it is loving each other madly and accepting them totally for who they are.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 16
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 10:39:03 AM
easy...once you've gotten to know yourself, respect what's there, accept your weaknesses, fulfill your needs so you don't need someone else to do it for you...

then a healthy relationship is simply any relationship where the other person treats you only in the way you'd treat yourself. For example,if you can rationalize using others, then you'll date those who do the same...and will eventually do it to you, which is when it'll finally become a "red flag" to you...when it should have from the start. Take shortcuts in your life instead of braving thru the tough spots? Expect to find partners who let you down when you need them, as well.

Men and women may have a different path to take in how to treat themselves, and that may make it feel like they have different descriptions of a healthy relat, but it still boils down the the end goal...do they treat you like you treat yourself? You'll always date the person who does. the problem is...how do you treat yourself?

you can't bring an unhealthy self to the relationship , and get a healthy relationship. rotten eggs always make for rotten cake, no matter how pure and expensive the rest of the ingredients are.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 17
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Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 10:51:17 AM
Mutual respect. If you have that everything else falls into place.
 onewayoranuther
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 18
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 11:08:25 AM
you think of her first...she thinks of you first. No decisions are made until you both agree it is right for you both. If you don't agree then you choose an alternative.

You pay attention to her likes and dislikes. She pays attention to yours.

Neither of you takes the other for granted. If you find yourself looking at another woman for any reason what so ever, then you understand there is a problem in your relationship...don't act on the "woman of the moment."

Go talk to your woman as soon as you realize an attraction outside of your relationship. Tell her the truth, whether she likes it or not about what you feel. It doesn't matter what your problem is...sex, emotional support, too much anger, depressive life, not enough activity....let her know that if things don't change then you can't be in her life and she can't be in yours. You have to be grown about your conversations and be real about them. Never have this conversation unless you are ready to back up what you say. Do let her know you are being attracted to other women and why. She has the right to "make things right" or to leave. But you should never have an affair. It disrespects you, her and the relationship.

Everything I said to you about her applies to her about you.

This is how I look at life with a partner.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 19
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Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 12:11:51 PM
Treating others the way you want to be treated, and showing with actions and not just words, that you are respected, cared about, and an equal in the relationship.....in every way.....not just the ways you want it to be.

cd
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 20
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 12:38:08 PM
Nobody is perfect. Life throws you plenty of ups and downs, some times those are emotional, sometimes those are financial, other times health. To me a healthy relationship is one that moves through all these terrains with love, cooperation and understanding. There are people that are always in conflict, always drowning in a glass of water while there are others that even in the worst of events seem to be pulling through helping each other. That is what a healthy relationship is. Ones that has commitments to give it a try. One where both make time for each other and try to understand what it is that the other person needs to FEEL LOVED. It is one where both are aware of each other's sexual desires and works on ways to keep that passion going, particularly after the honey moon state is over. A healthy relationship is one where both are also friends and can communicate without reproach.

Now if all this sounds a little utopian we then need to realize that most people come from dysfunctional families, have our own neurosis, pet peeves, idiosyncrasies that are not going to give up and your partner at some point will want to change from you.

A big problem that many couples make, is that once they enter into the relationship, they start trying to change the other into something that the other does not want. So they start to live through resentment and unmatched expectations.

Anyway, what do I know. What do we know. Most people here are experts at the relationships that did not work than the ones that work, including myself.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 21
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 1:34:17 PM
^^^ I do that all by myself now and to date, it's the best relationship I've had ! LMAO
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 22
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 2:25:31 PM
Its one where your mother is not meddling in it....................................................
 ChocoMamicita123
Joined: 7/3/2012
Msg: 23
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 2:42:38 PM

^^^ I do that all by myself now and to date, it's the best relationship I've had ! LMAO

lol thats exactly what I was thinking
 RandomFish123
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 24
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 3:26:48 PM

Do you think the general definition will differ between men and women?


I don't think the general definition differs as many posters here have posted similar answers.

What I do think may differ is how each gender carries out these definitions.

I.e., men may tend to show their affection through means of doing things rather than just verbalizing it ... whilst women may tend to want to actually hear their man verbalize his emotions than just doing things to validate it. .. And yes, this may not apply to everyone, but just very generally speaking .......

We may want to be loved a certain way ... or have an ideal way of how we want to be treated in order to feel loved .... our s/o may have a different way of how he/she actually SHOWS that. .... ... Obviously, it's vital that both ppl understand, acknowledge and appreciate their S/O's way of conveying that affection ...


~ JMO
 badboy_transformed
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 25
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 3:44:50 PM

I went through a series of bad relationships, until I realized how all the feminist stuff was crap.

A good relationship takes gender roles.

As a man, you need to care for and PROVIDE for your woman. **** her government indoctrinated taxpayer funded fake job that produces nothing (ie. social worker, teacher, bureaucrat, etc...). A good woman wants her man to take care of her in the sense that men do. Be a man - be part of building society and moving humanity forward, and take care of your woman.

As a woman, you respect that men are who built this world, and you respect the work he does and how he provides for you. You take care of the home, cook him meals and raise his children. Despite what the media has told you ladies - THIS WILL BRING YOU HAPPINESS. Ask my woman.


This is a load of crap. It has nothing to do with gender roles. It has to do with three simple things.

1. Trust
2. Communication
3. Sex

All three must be in good standing. It doesnt matter who makes more, or who does the dishes, clean, cook, build, whatever.
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