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Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 5
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dating over 30Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Do a thread search using the two words "short men." You will learn all you need to know.
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 10
dating over 30
Posted: 7/16/2012 9:32:06 PM

No. Once we reach our 30th birthday all of our previous requirements in a dating partner are superseded by the requirement that a man is at least 5'11" as you have previously been informed.

I got my little notebook out... making a note of that... "women over 30... man 5' 11" or taller"

Does this change when the woman turns 40, 50, 60, etc ? does it ever go back down to say ... 5' 8" or so ? ;-) Answers to these questions would be helpful :-)
dating over 30
Posted: 7/16/2012 10:04:21 PM
I don't think age has anything to do with it. I suspect that your previous experiences, that it was just a coincidence. When I was younger, I would've said you were a bit too tall for my preferences. Would that have made you feel any better?

When I was in school, being a Sagittarius, I was always the youngest, smallest/shortest kid in my class. I also sucked at sports. So, someone a lot bigger was intimidating. Plus my first husband was abusive. So yeah, I was not attracted to taller guys, at all.

In my early 30's I suddenly realized what a b*tch I was being. I had this brilliant epiphany: We all come in different sized packages. It has no real bearing, on the person inside. My husband is 6'4", my last husband was 6'9". I've truly come to understand that it's what's inside that counts most of all.

Good luck to you, in your search.
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 12
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dating over 30
Posted: 7/17/2012 8:48:29 AM
Single childless women in their 30s who are still determined to get married and have children are racing against that infamous clock and can't waste time with men who they know aren't "the one." They are also largely done experimenting and have mostly figured out exactly what they want in a man, and as often stated in their profiles on here, "will settle for nothing less." They have become concerned about what's going to happen with their genes and they are also quite rare (in most areas, mothers outnumber them at least 3 to 1 on this site) and in high demand among men close to their age or older that don't want to deal with children/young children.

It all adds up to, they can be and will be highly selective. Which is not to say women in their 40s and up aren't highly selective as well, but they are generally no longer concerned about biological clocks and what's going to happen with their genes, so for some of them, what they once believed to be negative physical traits like height no longer matters as much (and as someone pointed out, are less concerned about having a man take care of them). And on the other end of the spectrum, really young women (late teens/early 20s) are still in an experimental stage and quite often outright rebelling against their socialization, haven't figured out exactly what they want in a man and certainly aren't remotely concerned about biological clocks and genes. Young people are often accused of being the most superficial, which may be true, but as a whole they are far more open-minded (which some might see as foolish) about dating someone that doesn't fit either society's ideal or their own ideal (which they often don't have yet).

What I'm basically saying is, it's not a figment of your imagination that women in their 30s seem much pickier -- because they are. Plus, if you made it into your 30s childless and never married, then you are by definition more selective (or far less lucky) than than the vast majority of your peers.
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 13
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dating over 30
Posted: 7/17/2012 8:27:03 PM
One thing I wanted to clarify about my original post: obviously men's preferences change as they age, too, but they don't have a biological clock issue or have anywhere near as much concern about what's going to happen to their genes, apparently. That said, though men may not have to worry about running out of baby juice until their 70s, most simply don't want to have children after a certain age, because who wants to be an old dad? The typical man just seems to have more of a "if I have children, I have children, if I don't, I don't" attitude than the typical woman does, so it just really doesn't factor that much into what they're looking for by their 30s.

And on a related note, I also agree with what Mr. Fication said. Although to be fair... women who aren't born beautiful aren't much better off than men who turn out to be short. So what are those women going to do when they can't check off the only checkbox that matters for them? There's an argument for men that you could get 5 of 6 checkboxes and still be in good shape.

"POF (and all dating sites for that matter) just amplifies these expectations... because we always think we'll find someone better, someone closer to our ideal fantasy... just one mouse-click away. We can custom order whatever we want like a Big Mac at a McDonald's drive-thu."

That's definitely true. In theory, online dating gives you many more options than in real life. In reality... online dating gives your OPTIONS many more OPTIONS than in real life, so it's questionable as to just how much that "advantage" of online dating is helping you.

"No different than men who say a women must be a size 0 or 2."

One difference is, there is an entire porn subgenre built around a significant number of men's preferences for overweight women. There is no such female equivalent for short men. Now whether you want those guys that prefer overweight women is another story -- that's really not much different from me not wanting anything to do with the EXTREMELY tiny amount of women who prefer short men. But I'm just saying, supposedly overweight women get much more love from men than short men do from women. Another notable difference is, as you've proven, it is quite possible to get your weight down to something more men can appreciate, sometimes without any cost whatsoever (if anything, saving cost from eating less food). Whereas for a short man to become a woman's ideal, he will have to come up with about $100k... which if he just had lying around anyway, he probably wouldn't need that leg-lengthening surgery.

"often seem to overcompensate in lifestyle and attitude"

I somehow managed to get all the way through high school without thinking my height would be a problem with dating (I was too distracted by the constant rain of racism that was being poured on me), so I never really developed much of an "attitude." But like most guys of all size at that age, I figured chicks liked muscles and it certainly couldn't hurt to have them, so became a competitive powerlifter, and a very successful one at that. I was rather surprised to discover in college that women thought I was "overcompensating" for my height by working out and being muscular. Exactly the same thing all the 6 foot guys in the gym were doing, none of whom were accused of "overcompensating" for anything.

Eventually I realized it was a no win situation, and ultimately it didn't matter: no woman has ever dated me because I was muscular (most of the women that I dated didn't even realize I was muscular until after we were dating) and I got seriously injured on my way to a world record and wasn't able to compete or stay in powerlifting shape after that, so the muscles mostly went away. But basically if I do exactly the same thing a guy a foot taller than me does, he's tough/cool/dreamy, and I am "overcompensating" at best and a "freak" at worst. This is not to say I haven't met a few shorter men who seemed a little over the top in everything they did... but I've also met a whole lot of taller men who were exactly the same way! Me, personally, take away the powerlifting career and the acdemic success and I'm pretty much nothing, and as anyone can tell you who's met me, extremely quiet and reserved. I almost never debate anything with anybody in real life. I really only do that in POF forums!

Really, had I known in my high school/college years what I know now, I would have pursued a career almost guaranteed to make me rich, because that's pretty much the only thing that will make up for your height in the eyes of many women. Instead... I chose to follow my dreams, which ultimately could make me rich, but the likelihood was always much lower.

"Tall = able to reach things that I can't..."

Uh... why can't you just do what I do and step on something? I assumed you were looking for a boyfriend/husband, not a household appliance.

And as for all this talk about safety, I don't know why you keep wanting to bring height to a gunfight.
Joined: 7/24/2010
Msg: 15
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dating over 30
Posted: 8/4/2012 5:22:14 PM
Dude, I have never heard of this obsurd height nonsense until I started reading these online dating site female profiles. Height does not determine who she will be attracted to, unless that's really what turns her on. In most cases, I think that type of woman is just trying to diminish a short guy's manhood.

My point is: Most short guys I have seen in my life (i'm in my 40s) have taller attractive women (who they mutually love each other). And most of those guys were poor or middle class.

And most of the tall guys I have seen have shorter women who tend to wander with their eyes. I would know. I still catch them looking and checking me or other guys out.

You need to instill confidence in yourself (if you don't have any or much of it), then attempt to meet any woman who interests you. If she's not interested, move on.
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 17
dating over 30
Posted: 8/7/2012 1:04:45 PM

height requirements continue to grow until a woman is 75. Women of 75 years can only date men who are over seven feet tall.

That certainly explains why so few date :-)
Joined: 4/9/2008
Msg: 19
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dating over 30
Posted: 8/7/2012 5:54:37 PM
Honestly, I prefer short men. Oddly enough, they are rare to find. I'm just under 5*3 so tall guys are a pain in the neck...literally. lol
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 21
dating over 30
Posted: 8/9/2012 9:20:21 AM
Here's a fantastic article about dating over 30:

Joined: 4/19/2005
Msg: 25
dating over 30
Posted: 8/17/2012 11:06:27 AM
I agree, I ask that a guy is at least 5'11.. i have back issues and bending to kiss a guy or to even hold their hand while walking really puts the strain in the relationship.. it's nice to be able to be with somoene and see eye to eye at least one moment in our
Joined: 12/10/2011
Msg: 28
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dating over 30
Posted: 8/23/2012 10:51:01 PM
Ok..ok...ok....look! Height is a factor...sorry it just is. Anyone who says "looks are not a factor" is smoking crack. See, it is all about preferences and thats exactly what they are. What do u "prefer"?? I'm 5'8" and for some reason taller women love me....its because they feel dominant standing over me. Hell they even open doors for me, pull my chair out for me at the dinner table, walk me to my car, buy me flowers and chocolates......
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