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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Flakes out, but begs for another date months later?      Home login  
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 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 2
Flakes out, but begs for another date months later? Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
now he's back, apologizing over and over again for cancelling, saying it was because of a financial issue and pretty much begging me to meet him again, sending me tons of messages on facebook. If I don't reply to one he'll send another lol.

Soo, his "financial issue" didn't come up until two hours before your "first meet"?? Is he a teenager and couldn't get the car keys?

Sounds more like he had a "hot date" issue with another chick from POF, and that one finally may be over due to his "financial issues"..
Flakes out, but begs for another date months later?
Posted: 7/16/2012 10:22:45 PM
I agree with StrawBerryCutie89. Delete him off of Facebook, block him here & on your phone. I always checked my email before leaving the house for a date (back when I was single & dating), because for years I only had a landline, & no cell phone. But he couldn't have known, so he should've called sooner & re-schedule immeadiately. Sounds flaky to me. You can do better.
 AdriaticMind
Joined: 3/7/2012
Msg: 7
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Flakes out, but begs for another date months later?
Posted: 7/17/2012 12:27:12 AM
Don't you do it, girl, don't give him another chance. I sat here and tried to think of things that could cause a person to behave that way, and I couldn't think of any that weren't bad. Keep your dignity, and your sense of humor, and cut him off. Tell him why if you want to, then block him and ignore all calls. Let HIM puzzle over it, not YOU. You get to be the one who got away! ;)
Seriously, these types of guys do not deserve to be rewarded with second chances.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 10
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Flakes out, but begs for another date months later?
Posted: 7/17/2012 2:49:52 AM
When people show you who they are, believe them.

He was a flake, and now he's a manipulative control freak.

I know you know better and want better.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 11
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Flakes out, but begs for another date months later?
Posted: 7/17/2012 5:03:48 AM
There is only one thing which is factually clear about such situations:

if you do decide to cut the person off, you must make some ASSUMPTIONS about them which you actually know nothing about.

That is what a majority here so far are recommending.

1. Assume he is a flakey person, and will always be unreliable.

2. assume he is a player, and trashed you in favor of some other hot prospect.

3. assume he is married, and his wife suddenly showed up and dumped the kids on him.

4. assume he's in Nigeria.

5. assume he's "not ready to date," and never will be.

And so forth, you can read all their ASSUMPTIONS above.

They might well be right, I'm not saying otherwise, however, I think that you will feel uncomfortable as long as you do try to make up your mind based on guesses and prejudice.

Alternate assumptions you might make, which are a little more positive:

1. he's telling the truth, he had financial troubles which he was too embarrassed to describe at the time to a relative stranger.

2. he WAS not quite as ready to meet someone as he had thought, but now he has overcome his emotional challenge.

3. he is hiding a minor personal embarrassment of some sort which you really wouldn't care about if you had known about it already, but which he had to wrestle psychologically with, and has finally come to terms with.

And so on.

The way I see it, what are you risking, really? That he's stand you up a second time? What will that cost, at worst?

If he does, you can do all the deleting and blocking with a sense of comfort and satisfaction then. It's not like someone in the sky is keeping count of all the times you get stood up, and posting it on your profile for everyone to judge you.
 meowkatt2012
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 15
Flakes out, but begs for another date months later?
Posted: 7/17/2012 8:11:28 AM
Tell him u will give him another chance so he.knows its now or never. He obviously wants to meet you now. But yes make him call u when hes almost there so u don't waste ur time.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 16
Flakes out, but begs for another date months later?
Posted: 7/17/2012 8:18:07 AM
Not so odd.

One of the few times that I was stood up was by a man who asked me for the better part of a year to meet him. When I finally acquiesced, no show! However, several months later, he was back.

This is not the only time this has happened, though not with no shows; I have exchanged emails with men and poof! Then, months later, they contact me again. Some explained that they had met someone and it didn't work out, so they are "back." Some offered no explanation--it didn't matter, I never met any of them.
 meowkatt2012
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 17
Flakes out, but begs for another date months later?
Posted: 7/17/2012 8:24:43 AM
At least he sent u an email cancelling. That's more than most do. Tell him u will give him one more chance so he knows its now or never. It sounds like he really wants to meet u. Make him text u when he's almost there then u go. I used to give guys too many chances & I've finally learned my lesson. I used to make a lot of disappointment for myself by doing that. Now I just broke up w someone & that was one of the reasons. I let him get away w it before the relationship so he still wld cancel at last minute & actually stood me up in our relationship and I still stayed. I've finally left a few months too late but am really happy. Feel stressfree.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 19
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Flakes out, but begs for another date months later?
Posted: 7/17/2012 9:07:21 AM
He bailed on you because he thought he found someone better. Now, months later, he will allow himself to settle for you...unless of course he finds someone he likes better again.

And his tactic to get you to agree to seeing him, even after treating you so badly, is to be a nuisance that pesters you. And, strangely, from your tone it seems it might be working.
 NiceHandsomeGuy
Joined: 6/25/2007
Msg: 34
Flakes out, but begs for another date months later?
Posted: 7/18/2012 4:54:10 PM
Sounds like he broke up with his current squeeze and is looking for a place to 'put it'

Glad you blocked him on facebook, make sure you have your privacy settings on and that only 'friends' can see your activity (he can always create a new account and monitor you if your account is open to anyone to see)

Keep fishin
 andy1961
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 38
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Flakes out, but begs for another date months later?
Posted: 7/18/2012 8:38:39 PM
It has the words..

'your the last resort' written all over it.

He only contacted you again because he had no one else and he's horny. End of story.

He probaly got dumped by someone, and healing his bruised ego by contacting you again.

I had a guy that would do that. Every couple of months would contact me for slutty pictures...Instead of sending them, i'd point out 'so your single again are you?'...Yup....that was it.

Don't fall for it.


Spot on! Oldhag's right on the money as usual!

I suppose I should be ashamed to admit that I've done this a few times myself. And it all originates from chatting and arranging to meet a woman who I really wasn't interested in meeting in the first place - so then I calll off at the last minute and don't meet her. Used every excuse in the book and told them I'll rearrange, but I don't.

A few months later I'm horny, see them on-line and contact them again - I don't ever beg though. And it's amazing the amount of women, who after a bit of gentle persuasion, will agree to meet again...and most of the time I call off again!

PS; Oldhag - I would NEVER cancel on you - not even the first date...any chance you could forward me some of those slutty pictures? XXXX
 andy1961
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 41
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Flakes out, but begs for another date months later?
Posted: 7/19/2012 4:39:31 PM

and you are the reason why the rest of us MEN look like dogs. good going champ!


Oh dear, sounds like someone's having trouble getting dates on here...

Hey listen, don't blame me if you and the rest of the so called "men" on here, are being mistaken for dogs. If the majority of you were to exercise some honesty once in a while instead of trying to portray the NICE GUY all the time, you'd get on a lot better in the internet dating world.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 46
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Flakes out, but begs for another date months later?
Posted: 7/27/2012 3:45:29 PM
Stalker Danger !!!! Danger !!!! Danger !!!! Danger !!!!
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