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 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 2
The annoying pressuring textsPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

I want honest opinions, am I just crazy?


No but i think that dude was crazy.
I would've ignored him waaay sooner when he didnt geddit that you weren't free til Friday.
Anyone who pressures you like that is NOT worth knowing,imo.
 kangia
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 3
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The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 9:53:03 AM
I can't believe you carried the conversation as long as you did!

You should of just texted him back at 3 AM "hey Friday, this is her thursday guy...bugger off"
 Attercop
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 4
The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 9:55:01 AM
You're not crazy but you do have a part in keeping it going:

I don't like someone pressuring me into something I've explained 100 times.


I realize 100 times is probably a fun exaggeration, but the point is still just as real:

If they hear what you said, and return to pressure you even one time ---? I'd cut em loose.
(I'm not saying I would -- I'm saying, when I dated, I did.)

How people act in the beginning is almost always the very best they have to offer you.
If he'll push on the meet, he will push on other things.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 7
!
Posted: 7/26/2012 10:08:19 AM
Hide the pic of you in the red dress for a while. See if your luck changes.
 MsGirlyMuscle
Joined: 7/21/2012
Msg: 8
The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 10:11:14 AM
Wouldn't all this be easier to just pick the phone up, hit send, make a date or don't? Good God. All the texting you could have had food, wine and sex already.

Stop texting to make arrangements. People take people more serious with TONE of VOICE. Text later once you know one another.
 surfaceofficer
Joined: 8/8/2011
Msg: 9
The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 10:15:20 AM
This isn't one guy, it's several that's why I'm confused.

Most of the dates I've set up were ruined because the guy did this.


Two and two equals four. If so many equations of yours end up like this, I believe that it would be a better use of your time to have a look at the independent variable (i.e. yourself).

Of course the EASY way is to believe that the majority of men have this mental deformation and that a hand full of women can substantiate that theory in any appreciable way...but that is far from practical.

* incase you didn't notice...your profile screams sexual tension dying to be released. I suspect that THIS is a major factor. Also you are young...and many men our age don't think you know any better (a notion which your profile, exquisite as it is, does NOTHING to contradict.)
 Funfiftysomething
Joined: 6/24/2012
Msg: 11
The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 10:23:50 AM
quote; Hide the pic of you in the red dress for a while. See if your luck changes.

I agree with the above quote. Some guys have testosterone poisoning, lol. I understand the desire to be desirable but you will have to spend a lot of time deflecting horndogs. Decent guys can wait to see you in the red dress when you're with them.
 surfaceofficer
Joined: 8/8/2011
Msg: 12
The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 10:29:31 AM
I guess ill be the odd man out...because I don't believe the red dress is a factor. At her age...I have seen EXPONENTIALLY worse.

I KNOW that more men read women's profile than they think (how ELSE do you think they know EXACTLY what lies to tell), and her profile is a defining factor in the luck she's having.

I say, shorten the profile, omit the sexual road map, and start messaging men instead of taking such a passive role. Just because you CAN attracta man doesn't mean that you SHOULD (as you are now witnessing).
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 13
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The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 10:37:15 AM
Yes, some men do have testosterone poisoning. Symptoms include short-term memory loss, attention deficit (not listening to what other people say), repeating themselves, and the inability to hear the word "no". All because the little head screams so loud the big head can't hear anything else. Or maybe he's just an arrogant a$$hole who won't take no for answer. Or both.

Personally, I would have stopped replying after "Stop asking to meet sooner, I told you I work to 1130?" because I hate it with a passion when people don't listen, repeat themselves, and worst of all, make me repeat myself. After that point, the "pressuring" was your fault, because you allowed it to go on.

Incidentally, one thing I've learned by this point in my life is that just because the phone rings (I don't text), one is not obligated to answer it. Same principle applies to texting.
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 14
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The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 10:38:02 AM
Respond to the first text, ignore the rest. How hard is that?
 UrbanPedestrian
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 18
The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 11:53:08 AM

I know many guys are horndogs, but that is not my complaint here. I weed out the horndogs before this even comes into play.


Obviously not because you had that annoying horny fly buzzing around you when you said no.

Next time you get texts like these, cut the person off after the second time they don't listen to what you say and ask to meet now. Easy peasy.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 19
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The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 12:22:18 PM

Guys looking to romp aren't reading my profile they skip it, and the majority of guys I meet don't try to hook up with me quickly.

It's not a midnight romp, this is making it seem like men are just walking around the streets, drooling, zombified, humping the air mindlessly hoping to hit something.

I know many guys are horndogs, but that is not my complaint here. I weed out the horndogs before this even comes into play.

Why does everyone want to see men as blabbering idiots who can't think beyond their crotch?


Well I can see why you cant possibly not respond to a text if you are anything like you have shown here. Apparently you always have to have the last word and that need must encompass texting as well.....

Sorry that everybody isnt telling you what you want to hear, so I suggest you decide in your own head why this is happening to you and spare us from your disingenuous questions in the forums...
 382838382838
Joined: 7/15/2012
Msg: 20
The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 1:39:17 PM
I agree with grizzelda. You also must like the drama as you continue with the text and even answer while you are working. The red dress DOES have a lot to do with it. Look Mom, I met a nice girl, here is the picture.
 Dolphina
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 21
The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 1:40:43 PM
I avoid texting anybody until after I've met them. I make arrangements for the first meet on pof, then if I like them, may text them to organize a second meeting. No-one gets my phone number - generally at least - until after that first meeting. That way I avoid the trouble you've had, OP.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 22
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The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 1:55:51 PM
These are the guys -you're- choosing to make dates with. Something is wrong with your picker because everyone doesn't have this problem.
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 23
The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 2:09:04 PM
You were patient and gave him a Friday night date. I would be flattered by a woman that wanted to do a first date on a Friday night.

If this guy respected you, he wouldn't be an ass.

Look at this way, you dodged a bullet and didn't have to meet this idiot.
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 24
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The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 2:55:24 PM
No you're not crazy. But believe it or not, you play a small part in this fiasco.

You shouldn't have kept replying back. After the first time you gave him a Friday date and he texts back trying to meet Tuesday, that should have been the end of it.

Answering your other problem with this happening more than once.
Well, you probably need to change the way you do business. I'm imagining you just wait for email to come in your inbox and you pick and choose who you want to talk to. You are taking the passive role and letting aggressive men come to you.
Well, it's not working. You are attracting the wrong type of guys or you are picking the wrong type of guys that write to you.
Change it up and YOU write to someone first.
I'm friends with a few women on here and I can tell you, they have no problems with guys THEY write to.
 yellowlikegold
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 25
The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 5:36:37 PM
LOL This has me cracking up.

Here's the problem: We just don't have the classiest of gentlemen here in the greater Louisville metropolitan area. LOL.
 surfaceofficer
Joined: 8/8/2011
Msg: 26
The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 5:44:30 PM

Guys looking to romp aren't reading my profile they skip it



Precisely what astute "actors" want you to think; and let's face it...they are the ones who act well enough to get CLOSE enough to make sex a possibility. Just because they DON'T CARE what's written in your profile doesn't mean they don't read and use it.

Is it any wonder women keep getting flamboozled? My profile notably OMITS what I'm looking for and talks only about me. Why tell a woman EXACTLY how to decieve me? Oi vay...suit yourself
 shy2anne
Joined: 2/27/2009
Msg: 27
The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 6:23:14 PM
it seems to me that you might consider the possibility that these men think you are a hooker or a call girl.
why else would they think/want to see you "tonight"? and the next night, etc. like they said.
that would explain why they don't actually hear or believe you have regular job. and couldn't just fit them into your schedule. also explains 3am booty calls.
just a thought.
honest answer? tell them you're not a hooker and that you have a life and a regular job and also turn off your phone during work.
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 28
!
Posted: 7/26/2012 7:00:45 PM

It's not always the same wording "come on, I really want to meet you, how about tonight?" "I think we'd really hit it off, why wait?" " You're not THAT tired after work are you? It's only 1130"

I totally understand! I work a regular job all day & 2 nights a week I teach 2 exercise classes (basically work out for 2 hours straight). I do NOT want to go out on those nights & don't accept dates.

Me: I can meet you Tuesday or Thursday
Date: ok, Monday works
Me: No...Tuesday or Thursday
Date: Come on, what time are you done?
Me: class is over at 8
Date: then meet me at 8:15
Me: I'm NOT going on a first meet after working out for 2 hours straight
Date: Come on, I bet you look cute
Me: no response...ever

Either it's this or a variation of lunch after my morning class, which is done at 11:45. No...I can't meet you at noon. My students/customers won't even be out of the studio by then!

Every guy is not like this, but I have been surprised at how many there are out there....
 SmartSarcasticSweet
Joined: 4/15/2012
Msg: 29
The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 7:22:42 PM

Hide the pic of you in the red dress for a while. See if your luck changes.


YES! The picture is provocative and a bit...ummm....overly sexy (and not in the good way, but in the way that gives the wrong impression if you are looking for more than a lay).



your profile screams sexual tension dying to be released.

Also a big yes. I checked out the OP's profile before commenting and noted a number of flirty/sexual tension type comments which could possibly be attracting the type of guy who only wants to get in your pants....which is also the guy who would text you at 3 a.m. No guy who wants a relationship would be so disrespectful.

The honest truth is you need a profile/pic overhaul so you can stop attracting these men.
 onlydateIF
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 30
The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 7:23:55 PM
"passion...is making love on a balcony at 3 a.m."
-straight from your profile OP
according to what's offered in your profile, come across as what my brothers would call
'a tease'
people on these forums are't dumb, OP
 SingleInArlington
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 31
The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 7:49:46 PM
I agree with some of the others, I dont know why you let it go on so long before you said "forget friday" lol

Maybe the 3AM text had something to do with your comment on your profile about a balcony at 3AM. Now not something I would do but maybe thats it lol

I think with on line sites everyone is talking to several different people at one time! So the longer it takes to meet up, the greater the chance someone else will move in.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 32
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The annoying pressuring texts
Posted: 7/26/2012 8:13:02 PM

I avoid texting anybody until after I've met them. I make arrangements for the first meet on pof, then if I like them, may text them to organize a second meeting. No-one gets my phone number - generally at least - until after that first meeting. That way I avoid the trouble you've had, OP.

This is also what I do. I couldn't live with all the texting and phone calls, OP. Even if you don't text back or call back I just don't want to receive messages or calls of that nature. POF makes it so easy on us. Don't know why people don't take advantage of it more.
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