Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Addicted to Conterfeit Love      Home login  
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 2
Addicted to Conterfeit LovePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
ive met quite a few women like this. more and more of them as time goes on. i have a female friend who fits this perfectly. whenever she meets a new guy and hes nice to her, she breaks up with him. shes only ever interested in a guy who treats her like crap, even though she swears she wants a nice guy to treat her well.
Joined: 10/10/2009
Msg: 8
view profile
Addicted to Conterfeit Love
Posted: 7/28/2012 9:10:13 PM
Generally, people who have a pattern of getting into destructive relationships are recreating the emotional environment of the home they grew up in. It is familiar. The way out is to work on yourself and your family of origin issues. There are any number of effective ways to do this -- therapy, support groups -- but no shortcuts. It takes work and the revelations are sometimes painful.
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 9
view profile
Addicted to Conterfeit Love
Posted: 7/28/2012 9:31:45 PM
The first thing is to accept that you have a problem, that you are tired of having said problem and that you are willing to walk through hell to figure yourself out and then work on learning how to really be in a sane relationship. If you are not willing, if you want a magic bullet, if you get off on being the a victim or victimizing others, you are never going to do the work it takes to stop looking for attention through bad relationships. You have to want to stop, nothing else will get you there. For most people this is going to take a good professional to help you through it. There are people who are not looking for love, they are looking for attention and they often get that by whining to enablers who then tell them how badly they are treated and that horrible-person they are with is the problem, so then they can go on & on & on with the attention seeking, using their mate as the scapegoat. Professional victims aren't usually looking for anything but people to use. For those who don't know better, usually something really bad has to happen for them to get it, and usually that involves ruining the lives of those around them, including their children, long before any idea comes to them to find help.
Joined: 7/16/2012
Msg: 12
view profile
Addicted to Conterfeit Love
Posted: 7/29/2012 6:32:12 AM
You know what when people WANT and NEED answers and don't have anyone really to share with they buy books to find the answer they are looking for. No crime in that and things can get to a desperate point where we NEED something to help us. That industry is booming...Ever wonder why?
Just my 2 cents
Joined: 7/16/2012
Msg: 15
view profile
Addicted to Conterfeit Love
Posted: 7/29/2012 7:07:46 AM
WOW!! This is really taking a nasty turn!! The OP just wanted some opinions as to her subject. I don't think she planned on being attacked. Janet_Always is right
Joined: 7/24/2010
Msg: 17
view profile
Addicted to Conterfeit Love
Posted: 7/29/2012 8:27:42 AM
Most ladies give counterfeit love and like to receive it. Why, only they can tell you. I suspect it makes them feel good.

I like to meet ladies who are not into counterfeit love. I like to weed them out of the ones who I attract.
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 20
Addicted to Conterfeit Love
Posted: 7/29/2012 9:37:21 AM

So...have you found yourself at any point in your relationship in this type situation? if so, who and what help did you receive to literally get out of it? Also, what genuine advise would you offer so someone else so that they might avoid this type of behavior/pitfall?

I've ALWAYS seen what the book describes usually when first meeting,getting to know a person. Taught long time ago by my Daddy to always be keenly aware of your surroundings,which includes people. As in, it's not what YOU are looking at, it's what YOU see. So,my advice????? Open your eyes.
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 21
Addicted to Conterfeit Love
Posted: 7/29/2012 11:22:20 AM

But students should use discernment in what they accept as the truth and whom they choose for a teacher.

Absofreakin'lutely. PERFECTLY STATED.

I've often said that IMO, the biggest cause of relationship problems is relationship advice media.(Books, TV,radio, internet,etc) But I'm coming to realize it's not the relationship advice media in and of itself, but that people do not exercise critical thinking after exposure to relationship advice media.

I trained horses for many years. People have called me an expert( my late DH was the "horse whisperer- his quietly hissed "You're beginning to piss me off" worked magic on horses who were being difficult simply for the sake of it!)-
But there is only one thing I will relate as a given about horses...they all have 4 legs( or should have).

Now, I realize that there are people who have a great deal of formal education and strings of letters behind their names, who write books, but even that doesn't erase the need for a certain degree of critical thinking or even skepticism.

I DO have sources I respect for advice about various aspects of life,they come from varying backgrounds, some are long departed from this earth...but I'm also one that is very apt to take in a piece of advice and go "REALLY"?

After all, if it weren't for people "addicted to counterfeit love", who WOULD love the people who are far from perfect?
Cindy O
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 22
Addicted to Conterfeit Love
Posted: 7/29/2012 12:04:55 PM
Respecting yourself??
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Addicted to Conterfeit Love