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 evanism
Joined: 6/25/2005
Msg: 2
Single vs. DivorcedPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
i dunno. Maybe so everyone knows that they already screwed up at least once before.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 6
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Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/28/2005 8:09:52 PM
Babylonia....

That it is and should not be a part of who you are.....and with saying that.....if you have children......single does not quite fit either.....or does it????
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 8
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Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/28/2005 8:14:08 PM
I can see your point....wondering though about the attitude that many seem to have about that????? I guess for me.....the one true reason to get married would be to have children. Just a point of view.....
 Passinthru
Joined: 2/3/2005
Msg: 9
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/28/2005 8:18:30 PM
Maybe we should be more PC and create a new term?

mate challenged?

bigbedalltomyselfist?

My creativity is in a slump but you get the idea...............


I do agree Babylonia, I hate the label of "divorced" and would much prefer to be considered just single. I guess because "divorce" has the stigma of failure so closely associated with it?
 nah112
Joined: 5/27/2005
Msg: 10
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/28/2005 8:40:08 PM
it's only a stigma if you let it be in your own mind.....if you perfer to be thought of as "single" then say single..who's going to come make you change it the "single/divorce" cops-- ;0)
 nah112
Joined: 5/27/2005
Msg: 12
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/28/2005 9:01:41 PM
heck who really knows...it's just a reason to be placed in a category of some kind for some one to be hired to count them..look at it this way......use to be under race there where like 3 choices now there are 6-10--why--usually because someone want to be called something other than those 3-----probably some idiot 1 day said hey i'm not single or married i'm divorced and i want to be counted as such...so guess what now it's on the list--
 Talitha001
Joined: 6/17/2005
Msg: 13
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Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/28/2005 9:14:26 PM
No...Single implies `NEver Married`...If you were married and now are not you are `Divorced`...Yes, that makes you single again...but in the eyes of the law you are divorced...Even tho that divorce makes you `single`...LOL
 Tick Tock
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 16
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/29/2005 1:11:31 AM
Maybe it's like the auto industry where you have to declare if the vehicle has been involved in a serious accident in the past. Buyer beware...
 HappyOne7
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 17
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/29/2005 5:52:11 AM
Yes, I finally realized the categorization we’re all so inclined to be put into is not who I am so, my marital status is Single. I’ll gladly tell anyone I was married before but, that is the past. I don’t live in the past. Today, I am single.
 SICutie
Joined: 6/8/2005
Msg: 18
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/29/2005 6:16:07 AM
i agree with happyone!!
 fortysix
Joined: 7/27/2005
Msg: 20
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/29/2005 8:02:30 AM
Single tells people you are about to make the mistake for the first time, divorced tells them you want to repeat it.
 Breifne
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 22
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/29/2005 8:49:33 AM
"Seasoned" is good, it makes me feel spicy. "Liberated" comes to mind but I suppose that could be misinterpreted when describing a woman.

From a bureaucratic perspective (and it's scary that I even though of this) I suppose "divorced" would be a paper trail tip - i.e., there are records that might be informative re: children, real property, financial and tax status, etc., which might not be available in the case of a "single" person. It might also be an indicator that a woman had a different last name(s).
 musicmanpvb
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 24
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/29/2005 3:40:42 PM
if you're single they can't tell what your credit is like - if you're divorced they know it sucks...
 indigo rose
Joined: 11/25/2004
Msg: 25
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/29/2005 4:34:18 PM
^damn^
Do You Know if there some kind of Statute Of Limitations ?
I've been Divorced twenty years...I gotta be single by now
 sleepless_in_Newmarket
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 28
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/29/2005 4:56:55 PM
I don't see why someone should interpret the label "divorced" as having a negative connotation, i.e. failure, any more than the label "single" would do the same. If single implies never married, I'm getting to the point now where I think never being married by now is a failure. Really, it works like that. Someone is much more likely to think, "Gee, 37 and never married? What's his problem?" Nobody would think suspiciously of me if I was single through divorce.

So, to the OP, take your perceived injustices and celebrate.
 musicmanpvb
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 29
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/29/2005 5:40:18 PM
^^ way up there and back a page ^^ Indi - you WERE single - ya asked me to marry you the other night and ahm a holdin ya to it!
 nah112
Joined: 5/27/2005
Msg: 30
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/29/2005 6:54:23 PM
^^ " indigo rose" ..it seems like there ought to be
some kind of Statute Of Limitations
as you said

i'm at 26 yrs and i'm thinking about talking to the guinness record guys to see how mush longer i need to go or if i made it yet--
 Mannydez
Joined: 7/11/2005
Msg: 31
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/29/2005 7:43:02 PM
OK..after initially reading this thread, I figured I may very well change my status to "single". In the end there will always be a negative stigma with the term divorced..especially on a dating site such as this.

then after I read laverboy's comment...I began to agree with his line of thinking as well

So whats ole Manny to do? Perhaps change my status to single since I am still young enough to not fall into that "Old guy but still single?" category. Then in 5 or so years if I am still single I can change it back to divorced. Then I will be a seasoned vet.

I'm just not in the mood to change it right now though
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 33
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/29/2005 8:10:23 PM
I agree. The status even mentions widowed. Why not keep it simple and say: "married" or "Single". Nope, its gotta get complicated.

In the dating arena, there is a big difference in: single (never married); divorced; and widowed.
 am70sguy
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 34
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Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/29/2005 10:36:28 PM
I don't mind divorced. Shows some experience and growth.
 GreenTea
Joined: 1/7/2005
Msg: 38
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 1:25:53 AM
I guess because it shows you were committed at one time and something just screwed up!
 x_soldat
Joined: 5/6/2004
Msg: 39
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 4:02:57 AM
It goes to precision and accuracy in language.


Single = never married.

Divorced = Married + it didn't work out + lawyers + court + an ex (and maybe kids).


See the difference?


It's kinda like the difference between a natural-born woman and a guy that had some alterations done at the shop.

They might **think** they're the same -- but they ain't.


If someone told me that they were single and then I later found out they were actually divorced, I would consider that deception.

It just boils down to truth in advertising is all.

Sorry it makes you feel bad, 'cause you know I luv ya girl.
 leafyone
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 40
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 4:07:26 AM
I'm going to change my profile now, I am SINGLE damn it!!
 musicmanpvb
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 43
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 5:17:38 AM
^^ But you are NOT divorced until the legal action is over - you're still married^^


Maybe it's like AA - Once you're an alcoholic - you're ALWAYS an alcoholic - you're just in recovery.

Maybe instead of Divorced - our title should be 'Recovering From Marriage'
 dartgirl
Joined: 5/2/2005
Msg: 44
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 5:19:44 AM
I agree with pinballdoctor and laverboy. Being single does suck.....being divorced is alot worse! But like laverboy said, alot of people do wonder....maybe not out loud......"what is wrong with that person, to have never been married?"....I think it's just a title thing which makes no sense at all, because in the long run we are single again!
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