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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?      Home login  
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 Monsieur_Buttons
Joined: 2/21/2011
Msg: 1
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What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?Page 1 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Any dudes here actually getting a response rate that's worth the effort??

I ran a few different profiles and sets of pictures, but the response rate was always pretty bad.

Any serious profile where I attempted to actually describe my REAL self and what I REALLY wanted, got less than 1 in 15.

I was able to get about 1 in 6 with my joke profile, but all the girls bailed after I switched to a more serious tone.

I was a little surprised with these results because years ago, I tried it and I think I was getting a response rate of about 1 in 8 or so. Pics were the same, but I think I was using a canned message that I read about online somewhere... I'm not sure.

Anyway, if you are getting a decent response rate, could you post your profile for some inspiration?

Sometimes, man, it's hard to believe this site is even worth it.
 surfaceofficer
Joined: 8/8/2011
Msg: 2
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/29/2012 8:13:36 PM
About 2 in 3 for me...but there are a few factors here:

I don't send a lot of messages. I dont like to maintain more than 4 convos at one time.

I use the "meet me" and the "favorite" function. It doesn't work as intended, but it gives women a reason to view my profile.

I send complete messages. This "hi, and "hello" crap is annoying. I also purposely exclude my name from my profile.

I get 2 to 3 incoming messages on average a week (usually from my "meet me" que but occasionally random)

I have a pretty brilliant profile (which is the first message I usually get).

Most importantly...since I've taken this pic...my luck here has SKYROCKETED. Just as a test, I even messaged some women who didn't respond before and got responses! Women might want you to THINK that pics arent important, but they are truly the fulcrum on which the rest of your profile merely teeters.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 3
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/29/2012 8:15:16 PM
Advertising yourself for a relationship does not earn you stars or brownie points or dollars based on a much higher response rate than others.. For always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

IF what you seek is one *truly* complementary partner for a "relationship", then the RIGHT one should be enough, and that ought to be your goal, not just "increasing your response rates" compared to whose?
Be truthful and be yourself online and in your profile for any real chance of success,
just who else would you wish to be (John Malcovich?) to try to garner more *attention* from unmet people online?

Online it is about typical for only about 2-3 out of 50 emails sent to be responded to, for many reasons.

IF you wish much higher chance of actually meeting someone compatible,
go OUT to your local special interest social groups and make friends there over time (months/years), and develop relationships the normal way IN PERSON.



 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 4
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/29/2012 8:18:21 PM
I don't track responses just actual dates. If I wanted to just chat online there are open subject specific chat rooms..

Ratio of email sent to actually sitting down and meeting someone in real life because of the email sent is 1 out of 100 or more. When I make a pass at someone I met in real life 80% of the time we end up on a date.
 Monsieur_Buttons
Joined: 2/21/2011
Msg: 5
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What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/29/2012 8:24:51 PM
Are you talking about your main pic? I can see at least four pics on your profile that look like they'd get some interest from the ladies, especially the military ones.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 6
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/29/2012 8:34:53 PM
They view me all f-n day long.. It all comes down to three groups 1. Cute time wasters who are on here to just look 2. Won't date me because I deploy next month and 3. they have an uncanny resemblance to Jabba the hut or just are nowhere close to who I am looking for which is reasonable.

What I find is that they will thank and admire the military guys but rarely date them even when they are just part time military and have a six digit civilian career.
 surfaceofficer
Joined: 8/8/2011
Msg: 7
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/29/2012 8:35:44 PM
The main pic. The military ones are actually a hit or miss.

There's an insultingly large amount of women in southern California who want nothing to do with military men. Of course when we go to towns without major military bases, we are celebrities...kinda ironic, that we don't and CAN'T get stationed in towns like that.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 8
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/29/2012 8:44:12 PM
Yep the main pic. Over $2000 MSRP worth of Italian leather motorcycle gear, a $1000 MSRP carbon fiber Italian helmet and one of if not the sexiest and rare Italian motorcycles.

In reality my family means the most to me. Compared to them I do not give a single aviating coitus about my bikes, Maserati or horse. Ok the horse means more than the vehicles.. Anyway..

Leading off with what means the most to me did not work. What I am about is.....Family, Duty, Honor, Country. I just happen to have found a way to make a fat stack after satisfying the first four so bonus.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 9
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What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/29/2012 8:45:29 PM
For me it is 1 out of 3. I tend to be a jokester, so I am able to provoke a response. :P I don't really feel I have to be serious unless asked a serious question, and more importantly meeting in person so they can gauge how I interact in real life.

Response rate isn't the problem... setting up meetings in real life is the tricky part. o.O
 boobear45
Joined: 7/6/2012
Msg: 10
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/29/2012 10:07:52 PM
If your serious about a realtionship then I suggest you try the real world cause women r shallow and crule, specially on the net , cartoons are more real then the people on .p.o.f. your on the world wide web and this world HAS got a lot of them..good luck in your endeviors..
 528lovefrequency
Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 11
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What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/29/2012 10:55:09 PM
I message 10 different women a day.

For out of every 10, I get 1 response. That seem be the average.

The best I have gotten so far was 1 out of 6.
 MV6000
Joined: 7/17/2011
Msg: 12
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/29/2012 11:06:53 PM
I pretty much never get a response. It's not something to make a big deal about. Online dating is hit and miss, for some people it works for others it doesn't.

As for how many responses someone gets it shouldn't even matter, what matters is if you found what you are looking for. A perfect example of that would be like this a man talks to hundreds of women and nothing happens except a date or two while someone who never gets a response could find that one person they are looking for and form a steady relationship. So it's not about how many responses you get.
 MightyOaks
Joined: 7/3/2012
Msg: 13
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/29/2012 11:12:11 PM
My first week here and messaged about 40 women I thought would be good matches. Heard back from 4 and had 2 girls take the initiative to message me first.. Too bad they were not datable for me at least.. So far I'm not very impressed :/
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 14
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/30/2012 3:10:47 AM
You mean they're married, ineligible daters?
 CallmeKen
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 15
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/30/2012 4:17:57 AM

Any dudes here actually getting a response rate that's worth the effort??


I'm here to find a relationship. If I get even one response, it's worth it.

Only players keep score.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 16
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What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/30/2012 5:32:40 AM
When I sent messages, around 80 percent or so. But even then, it was mostly casual and just commenting on peoples' profiles, only seen like 5 (active) people total here I would want to even go out with over the years.
 CanIMakeULaugh
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 17
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/30/2012 5:43:10 AM
So far I have written to 12 women and have received 2 replies (about 16 percent, I guess). However, the first one never wrote back a second time and I am still waiting to see what happens with the other woman who did respond. if you get anymore than an 8 percent response rate and it isn't just from people who really aren't interested in anything other than wasting everyone's time, you are the Ty Cobb of POF.

Quite frankly, I haven't found many women who I would even want to meet anyway. It's a miracle I have written to a dozen. At least in my general demographic area, the overwhelming majority of the women's profiles are so awful - littered with negativity, bitterness and a laundry list of traits they DON'T want rather than what they are looking for and, of course, they are very rude and nasty in how they communicate this. Also, I don't find cursing to be attractive in a profile, nor are the c**kteasing photos with cleavage on display for the whole world to see.
 Bezoa
Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 18
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/30/2012 6:01:16 AM
I used to bring them to msn to chat, and I met a few (in another town, another time), but even once meeting the game isn't yet won. Heck, I'd probably have had just as much chances approaching random women everywhere I went. The ones I chatted to were still strangers after all. I've seen guys do this, and do believe it has a response rate. I dunno how they know when to ask for phone numbers and stuff, but I think they call it networking.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 19
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What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/30/2012 11:22:26 AM
I'm just here for the forums.

On Match.com I had 100% return...one for one. i was only on the site for a week.

I used a completely different approach. There were about 425 profiles of women that met my criteria. I went through them and narrowed them down to one...yes, just one. One woman semed perfect (and proved to be).

I then wrote my profile to match what I thought she would look for in a guy. I then took her profile apart and spent a couple hours composing a message aimed right at her personality, etc. I wanted her to feel special so I even told her in her message that she was the only woman I had contacted. My only goal was to have the privilege to meet her in real life...then I'd accept if she was attracted to me or not.

Anyways we got together a couple days later. Instant chemistry and still crazy about each other two years later.

bottom line....Make a woman feel special...she is special if you think she might be someone you'd like to be with forever. Instead of sending out 10 messages send one or two and customize them. Let her know that you want to meet HER in particular and not just a woman. If I was a woman and thought some guy was sending out generic emails to a list of women, I'd hit the delete button. The odds are that she is getting a couple of emails focused directly at her so why would she choose you over the guy who has showed a real interest in her? Women, rightly so, expect some romance and affection. They are brought up from little girls wanting this. They want you to go gaga over her. Be respectful in your message, don't mention physical attributes, etc. but make it clear that you find her special.
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 20
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/30/2012 11:27:35 AM

If your serious about a realtionship then I suggest you try the real world cause women r shallow and crule, specially on the net , cartoons are more real then the people on .p.o.f. your on the world wide web and this world HAS got a lot of them..good luck in your endeviors..[\quote]
They can be just as cruel in the real world too. At least out there you can actually see how someone carries themselves.

Also, @surfaceofficer, in your defense man. You are in great shape from what it looks like, so naturally you are going to get more messages then the OP. No offense to the OP but I myself am a big guy and I hardly get messages back either.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 21
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/30/2012 1:09:00 PM
I have seen that article before.. A lot of female friends and coworkers are like it can't be that bad for you guys. Then they see something like that and say ok.. I believe you..
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 22
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What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/30/2012 1:12:49 PM
For those of us guys who made an effort to write a personal message to a particular female, those stats are excellent. It just means that most guys (the competition) just don't get it.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 23
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/30/2012 1:18:34 PM
I write many personalized messages. Before I put heads up I am deploying in my profile and had just put my current photos up I was getting a lot of email.

Now the most common responses are

1. The high strung entitlement PITA type "Sorry I don't date military. I am too good"
2. "You seem like a good catch if I am still on here email me when you get back"
 MyHandsHurt
Joined: 4/9/2012
Msg: 24
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/30/2012 1:30:43 PM
As a female on this site, I immediately delete the messages that seem mass mailed.
If someone is interested, then he will mention some things that I've written.
 Jusneedu
Joined: 6/12/2012
Msg: 25
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/30/2012 1:34:51 PM
Most guys here, just don't get that the ones of us that are looking for the real deal, and not just sex, FWB, or cybersex, trading pics, etc..... Won't settle for the one night stands, and a partner with no future.

For me, if you come off saying just hi or hello, no picture, or mouthing something pervocative, then you definately will "not" get a responce.... And it's not just my age, as I would of done it in my 20's and 30's as well...

Respect..... It'll get you a foot in the door, and morals will keep you there.... Remember that.
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