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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Please advise me on what to do!      Home login  
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 snoop1989
Joined: 6/22/2010
Msg: 1
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Please advise me on what to do!Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Ok so to start of this is probably being blown out of proportion but i am really shy when it comes to girls i really like. I met this girl recently after a really bad day i was having i looked like crap. She works at a pet store in the mall i have to walk through to get to work. I stopped by the store to check out some stuff that i needed. I asked her for help and well she helped me. We than began talking about other stuff and we had a really good conversation and we hit it off. I did make it awkward once by studdering and stumbling my words. She laughed and made a joke to break the ice then. We talked for about an hr then the store got really busy and my friend bumped into me and she said she didnt want to keep me from my friend so i left because i didnt want to linger. I forgot to get her number and didnt wanna go back that same day to look wierd or scare her off as if i was infatuated by her, though i kinda was. So i returned a random day to see if the store had any other stuff i could use and possible run into her. I ran into her again this time she was going on her break and asked if i wanted to hangout in her stores break room tp see her kitty and we talked a bit she told me a bit about herself and her living situation i did get her number. I waited a day to text her then we texted for a bit then she just suddenly stopped texting me back i didnt bombard her with msgs after she didnt respond to my one. But everytime i really really like a girl i get nervous and i choke up normally im very outgoing and confident but in these particular situations its different. So how long should i wait to text her back or should i just not bother at all and just go visit her at the store on my way to work? Also i really really want to ask her out but i dont know if it would be too soon. Should i try to get to know her?
 FoudreAigle
Joined: 2/17/2011
Msg: 2
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Please advise me on what to do!
Posted: 7/30/2012 10:06:46 PM
Depending on how long it has been since you texted her, you should wait if its been only a few days, but if it has been weeks then maybe try to talk to her in person. If she kinda ignores you or keeps it short for no apparent reason, then leave it at that. If you can get in touch with her again face to face and it seems to be "hitting off", then ask her out. You should try to get to know her constantly through you talking to her, but save most of it for the dates when it is the perfect oppertunity for both of you. Try to stay calm by not investing too much at once in the relationship as you need to remember to enjoy yourself.

Edit:
but should i instead call her?

You should not call her unless you know she won't mind it especially if she is not texting you back.
 snoop1989
Joined: 6/22/2010
Msg: 3
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Please advise me on what to do!
Posted: 7/30/2012 10:12:57 PM
haha also i think ill add to all this she works on weekends only as far as i know. But as far as texting goes ill wait a day or 2, then get back to her. When she did text me back it was a lot more than a one word answer it was paragraphs. She could be busy. but should i instead call her?
 snoop1989
Joined: 6/22/2010
Msg: 4
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Please advise me on what to do!
Posted: 7/30/2012 10:37:44 PM

Depending on how long it has been since you texted her, you should wait if its been only a few days, but if it has been weeks then maybe try to talk to her in person. If she kinda ignores you or keeps it short for no apparent reason, then leave it at that. If you can get in touch with her again face to face and it seems to be "hitting off", then ask her out. You should try to get to know her constantly through you talking to her, but save most of it for the dates when it is the perfect oppertunity for both of you. Try to stay calm by not investing too much at once in the relationship as you need to remember to enjoy yourself.

Edit:
but should i instead call her?

You should not call her unless you know she won't mind it especially if she is not texting you back.

Alright thanks for the input man been a big help =)
 snoop1989
Joined: 6/22/2010
Msg: 6
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Please advise me on what to do!
Posted: 7/30/2012 11:18:12 PM
i am not sure but i just want advice to talk to this girl. and you are right the infatuation definitely goes beyond physical
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 7
Please advise me on what to do!
Posted: 7/31/2012 8:32:05 AM
Stop texting, start talking. CAll her. Say hello. If she doesn't respond. Move on.
 snoop1989
Joined: 6/22/2010
Msg: 8
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Please advise me on what to do!
Posted: 7/31/2012 11:23:15 AM
i enjoy all the feedback, i guess ill call her ill give it a day or something then ill just call her in the afternoon and talk to her ask her out. But im still contemplating if i should do it in person or over the phone.
 0ldhag
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 9
Please advise me on what to do!
Posted: 8/1/2012 10:09:07 AM
I think you should go back to the store and ask her out in person.

At least then you'll be able to feel out the situation a bit better.

Forget about texting and calling until after the first date.

 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 10
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Please advise me on what to do!
Posted: 8/1/2012 2:19:19 PM
Uh, no, don't call. You aren't at that point yet. Wait a day or two, and send a random, new text to get a conversation started ABOUT going on a date. Like, ask her to meet for a drink or something after work, nearby. Then talk in person, then see where it goes.

The course of events for younger people is typically:

Meet (online or offline) > Text (to say hi, a few pleasantries, then set up a first date-meet) > Meet for a date > Text (to see if the person is still interested) > Progress from there however you feel according to whatever your personal etiquette is.

Long, texty conversations before a first date-meet is kind of pointless, as are long phone conversations before that.
 Mr_Nonchalance
Joined: 6/21/2011
Msg: 11
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Please advise me on what to do!
Posted: 8/1/2012 6:40:13 PM
Dude call her,if she like you then no problem and if she does not then move on.you seen her face to face and had convos with her before.it makes no sense to wait to see her in the weekend just so you can talk to her again if you got the number.what your doing is draging out the process because you think any little move you make could be the wrong move because you like her so much.sometimes you got take action and just deal with the outcome,if she is that cute the longer you wait any guy can take action and next thing you no she lose interest in you cuz somebody else came along.
 snoop1989
Joined: 6/22/2010
Msg: 12
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Please advise me on what to do!
Posted: 8/1/2012 9:26:42 PM
Everyone makes good points but ive been doing a lot of thinking about it. Though some people say otherwise i am going to probably just go talk to her i have to get stuff for my pet anyways and if shes there ill just ask her get it over with. Maybe ill just ask her what shes doing this weekend if she says nothing ill ask her to go out, does that sounds simple enough?
 Hounddoggy63
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 13
Please advise me on what to do!
Posted: 8/1/2012 11:53:47 PM
What ever you do...don't stalk.her....

Part of the issue is that you placed too much value on her too soon.
This comes across as desparation...
Attraction has to be mutual...and sometimes it's fleeting.
If the timing is wrong, it's time.to move on....there are plenty of women who are right for you out there, you just have to se yourself as worthy of them.
If you value yourself, others will value you too.

Good luck!
 snoop1989
Joined: 6/22/2010
Msg: 14
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Please advise me on what to do!
Posted: 8/1/2012 11:57:00 PM

What ever you do...don't stalk.her....

Part of the issue is that you placed too much value on her too soon.
This comes across as desparation...
Attraction has to be mutual...and sometimes it's fleeting.
If the timing is wrong, it's time.to move on....there are plenty of women who are right for you out there, you just have to se yourself as worthy of them.
If you value yourself, others will value you too.

Good luck!


Exactly! my friend told me the exact same thing and made me realize that i shouldnt go there looking for her i should just stop by if i need something if she happens to be there then talk to her if not move on. he also said if ur gonna ask her out test the waters with a casual question if she gives u signs that she doesnt wanna hang just move on. But im very happy you told me this its true that i did place too much value on her too soon, but now im just sitting back. If she says no then she says no if she says yes then yay for me.
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 15
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Please advise me on what to do!
Posted: 8/4/2012 4:56:14 PM
Every woman on here has told you to call her. Even better, walk up to her face to face.
A woman once said to me, "If you never ask the question, the answer will always be NO"
He who dares, wins!
 curvesweetblonde99
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 16
Please advise me on what to do!
Posted: 8/4/2012 5:54:29 PM
Don't wait too long to text her back. Guys think that by doing this they are playing it cool, but it's seriously irritating to girls. Text her within a day, to show interest without appearing too desperate. The 3 day rule, quite frankly, is rude and arrogant. Don't bombard her with messages if she doesn't reply. People get tied up with shit so just accept that and wait for her response. Try not to focus too much on how hot she is and do whatever you can to see her as a friend at this point. Get to know her for a few weeks, while flirting and complimenting her, and then ask her out when she is showing signs of being receptive (ie: flirting back). I know older people in this forum will advise you to call her and not text, but don't do that. With younger people texting is a more appropriate form of communication (at least until a relationship develops) so do whatever is appropriate for your age group and don't feel pressured to do what people in their 30's and 40's and beyond will do.
 snoop1989
Joined: 6/22/2010
Msg: 17
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Please advise me on what to do!
Posted: 8/4/2012 7:33:10 PM
I just went in talked to her and broke the ice with comedy, She laughed a lot we talked a bit but she got called by her manager to stop wasting time. So i walked away without asking her out. I went to finish my shopping around the other stores after i was done i bumped into her outside of her store. We talked for a i thanked her for helping me out with my pet related stuff, she gave me a hug and her co workers teased her about hugging me. I then asked her if she wanted to hangout maybe go to the movies she said she was busy on the weekends but during the week shes free. So we made a date and i guess everything worked out when i just went and talked to her.
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 18
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Please advise me on what to do!
Posted: 8/5/2012 4:03:27 AM
I know older people in this forum will advise you to call her and not text, but don't do that. With younger people texting is a more appropriate form of communication (at least until a relationship develops) so do whatever is appropriate for your age group and don't feel pressured to do what people in their 30's and 40's and beyond will do.


Which is why half of the people on these forums have communication problems.


So we made a date and i guess everything worked out when i just went and talked to her.

ding, ding!
Finally, someone with a clue!!!!!

Good deal and good luck.
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