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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?      Home login  
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 KimKardashiansTwin
Joined: 7/30/2012
Msg: 1
Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Ladies do you find that men are more polite, considerate, less flakey to you when you are thinner vs. if you gained weight? I know that is definitely been the case for me and wanted to know what others experiences with date and weight have been like.

If so within how many lbs do you notice this?
 GoldinSFla
Joined: 10/21/2011
Msg: 2
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Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/3/2012 1:10:03 AM
Oh hell yeah. I haven't been skinny, skinny, so I don't know if they'd be nicer if I was a size 4. But I used to be morbidly obese and I was treated with disdain. I'm not thin now, but apparently my shape and size are enough that I am considered "acceptable" and the way I get treated now verses then is night and day. I could barely get a salesman's help in a store when I wanted advice on buying a digital camera . Now they're all so nice and so accommodating. Its like living on a different planet.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 3
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Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/3/2012 4:39:37 AM
Heck yes, this is old information.

It's a scientifically established fact, that the more attractive a person is, both physically, and in tune with current trends in social status, the better treated they will be, by EVERYONE on the planet. You'll get better and faster service in restaurants, better deals being offered in sales situations, more polite methods of communication in social interactions with strangers, higher salaries at work, more promotions, and on and on.

Just don't go off on a self-destructive tear, and decide to protest the fact that you are mistreated for being overweight (or short, or poor, or bald, or hairy, or too dark, or too light, or whatever), and expect that to help instead of hurt your chances. The only thing that is for absolute certain, is that while people who are saddled with this or that "defect" get short shrift, the ones who ALSO complain about it all the time, get even WORSE treatment.
 wackadoodledoo
Joined: 4/14/2011
Msg: 4
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Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/3/2012 4:42:40 AM
It is a sad fact that our society places so much emphasis on being thin and young. I have often heard comments like, "she was very pretty when she was young." Does that mean that you are no longer pretty because you are older? There is a lot of pressure on our young children today to be thin and perfect. Many of our young girls are having cosmetic surgery younger and younger. Many of our young girls are struggling with eating disorders .In the mean time, obesity is becoming a major problem for this country.??? Go figure I do feel that people that overweight are viewed differently than thin people. That make be a direct result of the pressure to be one of the beautiful people. Just my thoughts!
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 5
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Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/3/2012 5:01:20 AM
Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yes.. even if he is 200 pounds overweight and cross eyed... he wil find fault with a women who is 15 pounds overweight.
Most of us who have been doing onine dating have run into this.


You will meet a guy who has posted old photos, is overweight, unemployed, smells , has bad teeth...
and he will be critical of a woman if she has even the smallest flaw in ger appearance from that of the porn
movies women... and movie stars

He will be 20 years older than he says and be thinking his match is some hottie and the personal ads are like him being a kid in a candy store and he can pick which one he wants to boink this month.
Free hot hookers is all it is to many on these sites... they are not even honest and do not care to be real. All fun and games to many.
Got to be careful...

will being thin help find who is right for you?
nope
it will only mean people are nicer to your face.
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 6
Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/3/2012 7:33:41 AM
Men act considerate to women they're attracted to. More of a self esteem issue if a woman FEELS it's because of their weight.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 7
Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/3/2012 8:00:07 AM
Men act considerate to women they're attracted to. More of a self esteem issue if a woman FEELS it's because of their weight.


Although it's a little abrupt - it's true. Women's feelings towards themselves are far more important than anything a guy could tell them, or do for them, or see in them. I have plenty of friends in Facebook that are damn near model-perfect beautiful and STILL find ways to see themselves as 'ugly' - and a lot of the time it doesn't even involve a man's opinion or reaction.

Being a 'b1tch' or an 'azzhole' has nothing to do with weight - it's in the attitude. There's times where you might have a grumpy facial expression because you're concentrating/thinking about something - and people will mis-interpret that as you being p1ssed off. It happens.

Personally, if the person is angry and they are HUGE, I would DEFINITELY be more considerate. No need to poke an angry elephant with a sharp stick!
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 8
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Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/3/2012 8:48:02 AM
Yes, I have noticed this as have some of my friends. It's not just dating it is other aspects of life as well.

I have one friend who gained a lot of weight due to medications she was on. She went off the medications, started losing weight, and suddenly her doctors had more time to answer her questions/concerns. Though interestingly, her dating life remained unchanged, how she was treated by others DID change as she continues to lose weight. I know some will say it is because her confidence has increased as she lost weight that is why the change in attitude towards her has changed. Sadly losing weight has actually added to her confidence issues, she feels that at times her only value to society is her looks, which saps her confidence.

I used to be "average", then due to some health issues gained weight. From the neck up I still look pretty much the same (I know this because I am still easily recognized by people who knew me when I was skinnier-years ago). But how I get treated in public, by both men and women has changed. I try to find the humor in it most times, but it can be hard. Though I will admit to laughing at guys that ignore other attractive SINGLE women in a bar in order to hit on my VERY MARRIED attractive friend. That is just hilarious.

I understand the attractiveness/kinder treatment theory. I just think it's sad that things such as common courtesy and manners are so effected by someone's weight. Please, thank you, excuse me are not weight/attractiveness specific manners, yet I have noticed many men (not all) seem to reserve their manners and courtesy ONLY for those they deem attractive, and have no problem and see nothing wrong with being rude to those they don't. Just because someone does not find you attractive is no excuse for rudeness.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 9
Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/3/2012 10:18:02 AM

It's because, when they don't see you as a potential mate, they treat you regularly as a human being (or as they would treat another man). It's not because they treat you like shit when you are fat, it's because they treat you extremely well when they are attracted to you.


I agree. I think this is largely about physical attraction. A man who prefers blondes may treat them extremely well compared to brunettes and redheads.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 10
Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/3/2012 3:37:21 PM
Hey women are the same way!
Buff guys get good service.
treated well.
Flirted and teased when out-n-about.
and are more likely to get the job in an interview with a woman.
More likely to get dates.

I presume the less buff are treated far worse.
Or so they claim in the forums.
As for me,
I really don't know how the less buff endure it.
:-P
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 11
Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/3/2012 4:18:59 PM

Ladies do you find that men are more polite, considerate, less flakey


I need you OP to define what YOU think is "polite", "considerate" and "less flakey" please. Some people consider me rude. Others consider me straightforward. Either/or I act the same to all. If you're an idiot,fat or skinny, I'm calling ya an idiot. If you're what I consider a good person, I'll treat you accordingly. I don't give a phuck how much you weigh, unless you want to bring it up in a conversation. Then I'll tell ya.

Ever think that maybe,just maybe YOUR own confidence improved when ya lost weight and THEN you became a little more appealing to others????? Just a guess,but I would bet on that scenario, if I actually was stupid enough to be a betting man.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 12
Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/3/2012 4:57:56 PM

Ladies do you find that men are more polite, considerate, less flakey to you when you are thinner vs. if you gained weight? I know that is definitely been the case for me and wanted to know what others experiences with date and weight have been like.

If so within how many lbs do you notice this?

Interesting responses. Back in the day when I was 50 + pounds heavier, I had the opposite experience of many I read here. I never once worried that "intentions" were not genuine, nor was I treated with disrespect back then. (I will admit, back then, women were more likely to be nicer to me than once I lost the weight, but I hear that's a common thing. I have nothing but my personal experiences to back up my opinion on that, but? I had a much easier time with women in the workplace, socially, etc., when I was heavier. Coincidence? Maybe....???) Men on the other hand? It was much easier and much less "gamish" when I weighed more. My professional life? Didn't notice a difference whatsoever. I think we receive what we allow. Maybe I just never allowed unsavory things no matter what I weighed. JMO
 FireMon
Joined: 2/27/2012
Msg: 14
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Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/4/2012 8:48:21 PM
It's the opposite for me. I get more compliments about how great I look and people asking if I've been working out when I've recently gained 5-10 pounds, which frustrates me to no end. Bizarre.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 15
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Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/5/2012 12:04:22 AM
OP, I have lost and gained weight withing 10 lbs. You’re absolutely correct. Men are more interested in me and everything else you listen. This is not just limited to men but all kinds of people in general. Neighbors, random people I interact with; female/male, straight/queer, old/young etc.

Says a lot about the society we live in.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 16
Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/5/2012 12:48:51 AM
happysinglespirit: 10 pounds shouldnt even be hardly noticable unless youre a really petite girl. i cant imagine anyone treating you differently because of the actual weight loss, maybe it was because you were happier and more confident BECAUSE of your weight loss?

lionesse: there is a difference between "curvy" and fat. curvy women can be very sexy....as long as a majority of those curves arent found on her gut. most of the fat women ive known refer to themselves as bbw or curvy when theyre really just fat. a truly curvy woman is quite sexy. its also kinda off putting to refer to women who arent "curvy" as a stick insect. just because a woman is petite doesnt make her a stick, or an insect.
 redsone
Joined: 3/17/2012
Msg: 17
Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/5/2012 4:33:44 AM
Heck yes they act more considerate. He can be overweight and look like the hunchback, but if the woman is not thin, then she is invisible.
 gettinripped
Joined: 8/1/2012
Msg: 18
Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/5/2012 5:21:20 AM
Being a man who just loves petite women I can't profess any sexual interest in big women. However, I am always a gentleman. Just curious, if this situation is that annoying for big women; why don't you just loose weight? It's healthier. Why complain? Just work out and eat good. I have some big guy friends that go for big women; it's all a matter of choice. No need to be rude to anyone.
 FireMon
Joined: 2/27/2012
Msg: 19
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Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/5/2012 5:47:59 AM

why don't you just loose weight? It's healthier. Why complain? Just work out and eat good.


It's not that simple for everyone to just LOSE weight. When a person loses weight, he or she will have to continue to consume significantly fewer calories than a person of the same lower weight who was always that way. They will never be able to eat for "maintenance" like a person who never had excess weight. It's a lifelong battle which, for many, is not worth the effort compared to being healthy and happy with one's body regardless of weight.

I'm not sure if I can link the article, but "The Fat Trap" by the NY Times explains this further. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/01/magazine/tara-parker-pope-fat-trap.html?_r=1

And it's not necessarily healthier. Countless studies have shown that it's healthier to have extra weight and lead an active lifestyle with a healthy diet than to lose weight merely through deprivation. Skinny does not equal healthy, and it's ignorant to assume you know a thing about someone's health based on their looks alone.
 HappinessOK
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 20
Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/5/2012 6:30:01 AM
Oh YES!! I noticed since I put on a few Xtra pounds I dont seem so desirable as when I was a size 10. I also notice when Im out and notice attractive couples , the woman is usually slim to thin.

What happened to the curvacious woman being the ideal woman? I understand that Marilyn Monroe was not skinny minnie but she is still thought of being a great beauty...
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 21
Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/5/2012 7:19:35 AM

It's not that simple for everyone to just LOSE weight. When a person loses weight, he or she will have to continue to consume significantly fewer calories than a person of the same lower weight who was always that way. They will never be able to eat for "maintenance" like a person who never had excess weight. It's a lifelong battle which, for many, is not worth the effort compared to being healthy and happy with one's body regardless of weight.


Okay,let's not get off topic here and start posting reasons/excuses of why members of our North American society are carrying around the excess baggage. It's all horse ca ca. Humans are not made to be overweight,and the only reason for being overweight is because of the way we live. Excess. Everywhere.

Oh, and chairs. Too many of them everywhere also.
 BlokeInSydney
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 22
Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/5/2012 8:27:42 PM

In real life, I still feel invisible to men. I keep aware of myself and my body language, I smile, I am casual, and strike up small talk when I can. I have really made an effort to revamp my wardrobe, be more feminine on top of the weight loss, keep my hair styled and make up nicely done, but I am rarely looked at and even more rarely flirted with or asked out.

I'd flirt with you Silver!

Maybe even might have asked you out if I were single and local to you? lol
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 23
Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/5/2012 8:29:22 PM
If you think people are reacting to you better just because you lost 5-12 pounds, think again. There's no way you can easily see the difference on ANY body. Human body weight can change 5 pounds in a day, 10 pounds in a week, depending on what goes in or comes out. If you lost 5 - 12 pounds AND feel proud and confident in yourself - hey, that stuff IS attractive.

I try my best to be considerate to anyone I meet. They lose that politeness by their own accord - usually when they open their mouths and spew attitude. Nobody loses it faster than those self-important people who think they deserve it, or demand it. You want to end a date quickly with me, start b1tching at the waitstaff about your food.

Fat, Thin, Black, White, Tattoos or Bald - You usually get back what you dish out, so just BE NICE.
 Worbug
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 24
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Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/5/2012 8:32:31 PM
Being an unattractive woman is like being a Man, You actually have to work.

Heard that on Tosh .O last night and thought it was pretty fitting.

Solution: get in shape and take care of yourself and develope self esteem.

I couldn't get laid in the Phillipines with a fist full of fifties, but I don't blame anyone else. We have to work with what we have.

And yes a lot more women are worse then men, at least to me anyway. The one thing I do that is different then most, I call them out on their behavior if it easy beyond normal.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 25
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Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/6/2012 12:17:32 PM

What happened to the curvacious woman being the ideal woman? I understand that Marilyn Monroe was not skinny minnie but she is still thought of being a great beauty...


And she'd still be viewed as hot today. Most women who praise Marilyn Monroe look nothing like Marilyn Monroe.
 BlokeInSydney
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 26
Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/6/2012 2:07:33 PM

I noticed that as well. Oh please, pick me! I’ve counted my calories like a good little girl.

The weight-loss industry totally relies on fear, and mainly the fear of women not finding a man.

It sells the lie you can only have a good mate if you are a virtual stick-insect, as though thin people don't have troubles.

On a different note, men like me have not necessarily looked for 'good little girls'.... lol
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