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 ImBnB
Joined: 7/22/2012
Msg: 1
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Would you date a BisexualPage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I have been talking with this guy for months. We have many things in common , He like the way I think...
The only question was to know if we were going to like each other when we will meet in person.
We made plan to meet several times but never really suceeded to do so ( last minute things, sickness...)
We finaly decide to meet today, I thing this time it's for real. We are going to have dinner at my flat.
We were texting each other, as usual, then he told me I needed to know something. He is actually Bisexual.
I have no problem with bisexual or Gay people, I respect everybody sexual orientation but I never really thought about whether it would be fine for me dating a bisexual or not.
We are 2 hours far from our date time now, not a lot of time to actually think about it. I already told him that I am not cancelling the meeting but I am still shocked (not offended). I don't know,
I don't even know what my question is for you guy. I just need any comment, any remark, anything.
Thanks
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 2
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Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 8/3/2012 2:04:26 PM
I've seen several reasons given for why people are nervous in a situation like yours. You need to figure out why you are, in order to choose a course of action.

Some discover that they never realized it before, but that they actually think that bisexual people are somehow magically different from everyone else, in an almost alien sort of way. Because they are so different, they fear that they wont know how to "read" them, as we all need to feel we can do, in order to have a close or intimate relationship with someone. I suspect this is the most common reason.

Some fear that a bisexual will be more likely to have STD's, especially bisexual men, in part because the media often give the impression that all gay men have casual sex with each other at the drop of a belt.

Some fear that no bisexual can ever be faithful, because they believe that they will be driven to sate sexual hunger for both males and females, and that therefore they will always have to share the bisexual with someone else.

I have known a few bisexuals, and none of them were as described above, but then I've also known many many people who were legally separated, and none of them ever went back with their spouses. Since lots of others have had different experiences, I can't say that you can rely on anyone's experience as being what you are bound to find.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 3
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Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 8/3/2012 4:27:59 PM
would I date a bisexual...

hell no !!!!
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 4
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Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 8/3/2012 5:34:53 PM
there is absolutely no way I could get past the image of my guy sucking another man.....or doing anything sexual with a man......
so that would be a big NO.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 5
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Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 8/3/2012 5:39:05 PM
*sigh*

Would I date a bisexual? Yes. I would. I do. I have been for 4.5 yrs. The one before him was bi as well. I would date a bi man over a hetero man.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 6
Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 8/3/2012 5:54:33 PM
i might want to go out and have fun with a bisexual girl, sure. i wouldnt want to date her with the option of anything serious though. ive just seen too many problems spring up with this sort of thing.
 ShelbySask4friend1
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 7
Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 8/4/2012 2:38:43 AM
HAHA, yes it is funny how people are okay with "Gay" people , but once they actually have to deal with such an issue personally their tune changes, like yourself...It is okay as long as I am not dating them,lol....Please, spare the honest guy some heart ache, and make up an excuse to not see him, as just you bringing it up, tells me you will never be fully deprogrammed in your way of thinking...
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 8
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Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 8/4/2012 5:02:15 AM

Bisexual's are no more likely to cheat than any other sexual orientation.
It simply depends on the person.Are they capable of having integrity within a monogamous reltionship? If so,they when they chose to be with one sex,they also can choose to be faithful to one sex at a time.


Maybe, "on paper", "in theory"... Experience tells me that a leopard doesn't change his spots. Somebody attracted to both sexes, will always be. I simply don't want to "feel responsible" for a man repressing part of something as important as his sexuality for me.

Again, it's not rocket science...

Here's something for you Pitufina... I've had 2 relationships with bi men, and a few more with hetero men. Guess which group had the higher rate of cheating? I won't keep you in suspense.. it was the hetero group. Yes, that's right. None of the bisexuals have cheated on me. Ever.

Yes.. there are bisexuals (I won't limit this to only bi men here) that are chronic cheaters, but that isn't necessarily linked to their sexuality, more that they just suck as human beings.

My current relationship is about 4.5 years and going. We started out as FWB, because I asked for it. I wasn't in a good head space or in a good emotional place to be able to offer more then that. As time went on our relationship changed. I was the one that suggested we have an open relationship because being the realist that I am, I knew that I'd never be able to kiss him like a man, or touch him like a man and I wasn't interested in denying him that part of himself. The last time either of us was with someone else was over 3 years ago.

So not all bisexuals are cheaters.

Monogamy is only monogamy if the two people involved are both agreed on that, and many "monogamist" couples aren't as exclusive as one of them thinks.
 stonecastle
Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 9
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Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 8/4/2012 5:05:06 AM
It is my dream to get a bi-sexual girlfriend so that she can turn me on by getting passionate with another woman in front of me and then let me join in. I think loads guys want a bi-sexual girlfriend or at least at sometime try to persuade their partner to try it with another woman.
 drewcornwall
Joined: 5/31/2010
Msg: 10
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Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 8/4/2012 5:37:15 AM
Quite a difficult answer TBH, mmmm.. It would down to you, what your needs are, what you want from this guy.

Even tho i have been with a bisexual girl, I am straight. I remember the convo`s we had toghther. Lust was the main factor, Family planning was off the cards!.

Competing for others, would just too much in a relationship tbh.

Good luck tho.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 11
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Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 8/4/2012 7:03:08 AM
I was married to a bi, woman, she was great
loyal, and honest
great in and out of the sack, too bad I was young and dumb, let her go......
at least she was not boring....
 ImBnB
Joined: 7/22/2012
Msg: 12
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Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 8/4/2012 8:39:56 PM
[ So what happened on your date? ]

Well, we have been texting each other for about an hour after my post and before the date. He was asking me where does the revealation leave us, if I really want us to meet and stuff. I actually told him that it doesn't change the plan, that we still have to meet but I would have to decide later on whether I am fine with dating him or not because it's kind of had to have suspicious on both sides. Then after about an hour, he texted me saying he just wanted to see how open minded I am, that he was saying that to get a rise out of me...
He came over, we spoke a lot, we laugh and had Dinner. He was very respectful and glad to be there...
When he was aboud to leave, he asked me if I would like to meet him again because he definitly wants to meet me. I told him yes and I walked him to his car! Minutes after he left, he texted me, thanking me and telling me I am "freaking gorgeous"... But this morning, no "good morning" text, no nothing. Then he texted me saying that he doesn't see us going anywhere as a relationship... that nothing was wrong but we just didn't click...

Well, that's the story People.
 AtlantaManInAtlanta
Joined: 7/1/2012
Msg: 13
Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 8/4/2012 9:53:21 PM


I have and I would.


was that the guy that wore that mickey mouse hat?
 meowkatt2012
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 14
Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 8/5/2012 2:32:19 AM
I have but it was not a serious relationship that was going to go far. He was great at certain sex things and o actually would have liked to have a MFM with him but he wouldn't. Im not sure why bit he got mad when I asked. I guess he just keeps certain things seperate. I didn't know right away & was really surprised cuz he loved being w women so much, And has relationships w women. The guys are just more of a fun thing. He's young & not ready for serious relationship yet, so I.really don't know what would happen.
BUT on the other hand I have a friend who got married about 2 yrs ago. This last year he decided to try some guy- guy stuff & now has a bf who is gay.I was shocked. Lol. I feel.so bad for his new wife & they have a baby. Im glad I don't know her. He's being very wrong to her. But justifying it by saying its different than cheating w a womanHe's a cheater. But I know when they dated & lived together he never cheated on her & wasn't w guys either
Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 8/5/2012 12:53:45 PM

I have been talking with this guy for months. We have many things in common , He like the way I think - ImBnB

I think THIS^ is really important, more than the surprise info you just recieved. How does this information really change the chemistry dynamics, is the key. Bi-sexuals are just as capable as heterosexuals, of being faithful. You do however, need to be clear with him, exactly what kind of relationship you are looking for & make sure you have the same definitions of "faithful". I had a bisexual freiend who was interested in marrying me, but his idea of "faithful/monogamous", meant only one of each!! Wrong! (for me, anyway).
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It's not you being responsible for someone repressing a part of themself, it's your partner being responsible for their own sexual appetites and integrity by not having sex outside a relationship if monogamy is what you've both agreed to.

Is it possible that they may miss certain aspects of same sex conduct if with a person of the opposite sex? Quite possible, but a heterosexual person might miss certain aspects that they engaged in before becoming monogamous too. Maybe their current partner has a lower sex drive than them, or doesn't prefer to do it any other way than missionary with the lights off.


If you're deeply in love with someone and you're overall sexually compatible, there's going to have to be compromise at some point. No one is ever likely to be with someone who can do EVERYTHING the way they like it, in bed or outside of bed. It's not sexual incompatibility to be with someone and not be able to give them one particular thing if you're giving them everything else. - QueenSaru

Yes, exactly!! There are some things that we like & miss, but that are not deal-breakers. That does not make a couple sexually incompatible.
 vanityfair55
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 16
Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 8/10/2012 5:48:35 AM
No, just wouldn't
 Twitch369
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 17
Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 8/10/2012 4:36:24 PM

I have no problem with bisexual or Gay people, I respect everybody sexual orientation but I never really thought about whether it would be fine for me dating a bisexual or not.

This makes me think that you might have a problem with bisexual/gay people. They are in no way different from you or me, except that have different sexual preferences. They are not all cheaters, though some are, just like hetero guys. They are not all effeminate, some are, some aren't, just like hetero guys. Bisexuality has absolutely NO bearing on the worth of someone as a sexual partner, and ANYBODY who denies being with someone because they are attracted to someone of the same sex is homophobic and prejudiced.


Probably not, because from my experience bisexual men tend to be more effeminate, and I don't find it attractive.

If you don't like effeminate guys... ok, that's a viable reason not to be with someone, but it has nothing to do with their sexuality. If you found a masculine guy who was bisexual would you still not date him? If so, you're prejudiced.

And to all the people who seem to think that bisexual guys would have part of them repressed because they are with you, that's just ridiculous. I like anal sex. I have dated women who would never in a million years have anal sex. I never once felt repressed dating a girl like that even though I had urges. I've dated women and been attracted to other women. It doesn't mean I have to act on that attraction. I didn't feel repressed there.

Sexuality has no bearing on anything except what you find attractive. Simple. It has no bearing whatsoever on the quality or worth of your mate. Imagine if I had asked the same question only slightly different. Would you date a black person? Imagine the outrage. I could make the argument that black people are more likely to have HIV and AIDS, does that mean that they're not suitable partners? According to a study of approximately 12000 people, and 16 different ethnicities, black people are more likely to cheat than other races as well (with black men coming in at 33.6% and women at 18.3%, asian women took up the rear with 5.1%, just found that interesting). Does this mean that you wouldn't date a black person?

Why is it ok to be prejudiced against the bi and homosexual people but not different races? There is absolutely no difference in the arguments. The only difference is that it's socially acceptable to hate a gay or bisexual person, and it's not socially acceptable (in the americas at least) to hate someone for being a different colour skin tone. Race, gender, sexual preference... these things don't affect the character of a person. It will be nice when people finally realize that and stop hating on people who are different.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 18
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Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 11/1/2012 4:52:05 AM

I would date a bisexual woman only if her female partner would let me join. Basically a commited relationship with me and two women. It would be hard.

Sounds like it's a sacrifice you're willing to endure though.. hehe.
 ShelbySask4friend1
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 19
Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 11/1/2012 5:10:02 AM

This makes me think that you might have a problem with bisexual/gay people. They are in no way different from you or me, except that have different sexual preferences. They are not all cheaters, though some are, just like hetero guys. They are not all effeminate, some are, some aren't, just like hetero guys. Bisexuality has absolutely NO bearing on the worth of someone as a sexual partner, and ANYBODY who denies being with someone because they are attracted to someone of the same sex is homophobic and prejudiced.


Nicely said…


No.
I am looking for a relationship - not just sex
I have no problem with gays/lesbians because they can form a relationship.
Bisexual's are looking to only pleasure themselves through sex. They tend to look at physical attraction not an emotional bond.
Perhaps that is why they are not accepted in either the heterosexual or homosexual society.


You’re a homo-idiot…
 stonecastle
Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 20
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Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 11/1/2012 10:11:07 AM
By the way would any women put on an erotic show with another woman to turn their man on regardless of whether they are bisexual or not? Because most men would love to see their woman getting really passionate with another woman in front of them.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 21
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Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 11/2/2012 5:19:52 AM

By the way would any women put on an erotic show with another woman to turn their man on regardless of whether they are bisexual or not? Because most men would love to see their woman getting really passionate with another woman in front of them.

The problem with your question (and fantasy) is that it's hard for a hetero woman to "get passionate" with another woman. There's no passion where there's no sexual attraction. Being with another woman would turn me off, and how is that supposed to turn him on?

So the answer would be no. He shouldn't be expecting me to do it just because it gets him all hot and bothered. If he does, then that just shows a lack of respect for me as a person. Not my kink.
 MakeUTingle
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 22
Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 11/27/2012 9:31:18 AM
I am not bisexual...but WOULD be if that is what the Goddess who claims me wants me to be.
 natgoat227
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 23
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Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 11/27/2012 12:41:34 PM
Sure..!!
I'd even enter into a relationship with one...
As long as _I_ was her Main Focus of attention.
It saves that awkward discussion about adding another woman in the tub....on occasion!!
 Ghagiel
Joined: 11/23/2011
Msg: 24
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Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 11/27/2012 5:51:26 PM
Yes. I actually prefer bisexuals. They tend to be more open-minded and understanding. They often don't see the world and sexuality quite so rigidly, which I like. I'm not really interested in having to label every little thing, like most mono-sexual people.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 25
Would you date a Bisexual
Posted: 12/12/2012 4:42:40 PM
dated one several states away from me, still hear from her when her husband drives her nuts. I probably knew about the upcoming divorce before he did :)

not all bis are the same, as not all hets are, either. Would I date one again? If her personality fit me, that's what matters. not all bis think being bi is an excuse to cheat, just as some hets will use anything as an excuse to cheat.
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