| | when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates.Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | | I have been reading these forums trying to figure out generally online dating rules. Many people agree that a first kiss happen after the first date to see if there is attraction. Ok now I have had the third date and we are kissing at our cars in a parking lot of a public place. After age 20 I don't think this is too appropriate. Where do I go from here? Where can one realistically make out with out having sex. Also he has now given me his home address and said I could stop by anytime. Does that mean if I casually stopped by his house he would be expecting sex? Just looking for opinions, advice, or what has happened to others. | |
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| when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates. Posted: 8/5/2012 7:38:07 AM | | It never changes, does it? I always feel like a teenager when I start dating someone for the first few dates. Never know until you stop by, maybe he was trying to get a reading as to when the relationship will go to the next level. | |
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| when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates. Posted: 8/5/2012 7:49:21 AM | As always, the important thing for you to do is, to take the reins yourself. That is, there are no "rules,"even general ones. And if you try to behave as though there are, the rules you accept will be the ones decided by your date.
But I very much sympathize with your question about where to smooch at the beginning. I would suggest that you choose as I have, to recognize more than one or two levels of intimate activity. That is, a first kiss should not be a huge production, leading directly to fondling and fumbling for fasteners. It should be an initial breaking of the private-space limits only. If things are going well, and you want to go further, then you can discuss taking things to a more private local, such as one of your domiciles. | |
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| when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates. Posted: 8/5/2012 8:01:44 AM |
Where do I go from here? Where can one realistically make out with out having sex.
Why, as we age, do we come to believe we can't act like we did when we were younger???? Are ya gonna use the reasoning of "maturity"???? I could give ya a list of "places" I would "make out" but I'm pretty sure you would find them inappropriate. I could also give a list of the spots I kiss,but, you guessed it, inappropriate for sure. | |
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| when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates. Posted: 8/5/2012 8:29:26 AM | I just had to see how old are you..Hm..OK than..
trying to figure out generally online dating rules There are no rules!
first kiss happen after the first date to see if there is attraction. Really? I though the kiss happens IF there is attraction. Kissing in the car is not appropriate? Who knew? Wonder why do you feel like that? Stopping buy his house doesn't automatically means sex, but don't be surprised if he tries. I would. | |
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| when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates. Posted: 8/5/2012 8:33:50 AM |
Where can one realistically make out with out having sex. I don't seem able to "make out" and then just say "see ya" and go home... I save the making out for when I feel ready to have sex with someone.
If you're not at that point yet, just stay in the parking lot where you'll be less likely to get carried away. LOL. | |
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| when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates. Posted: 8/5/2012 9:11:15 AM | Kissing in the park is a time-honored tradition, specially after dark. Or down by the river. Or under the willows. Or in darkened doorways. Or in a car, for a little more privacy. I'm fond of unlocked churches, myself.
I don’t think he’s necessarily expecting sex if and when you decide to make that first house call. But it may have occurred to him just as it has to you.
And it might be helpful to note the difference between ‘expecting’ sex, and just hoping it will happen some time soon and thinking it might. Expecting it is a presumption and as such, a violation of boundaries.
But alleging that another person has such unexpressed expectations (and not just hopes) is also a presumption – not a position I see you taking here, OP, but one occasionally taken by others and, I think, one to avoid. | |
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| when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates. Posted: 8/5/2012 9:18:58 AM | Wow I didn't know there were rules...lol
After our first date my boyfriend and I kissed in public in broad daylight in the parking lot of the restaurant/sports bar we met at. This establishment has an outdoor bar area and it was packed. And it wasn't a chaste kiss..lol We didn't have sex right there.
If you casually stopped by his house unexpected then yes he might expect some fun. But making arrangements for a movie in or dinner wouldn't necessarily mean sex. But if it feels right why not...
Rules are meant to be broken. I have broken several of these unwritten rules and my relationship is going just fine. | |
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| when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates. Posted: 8/5/2012 11:19:16 AM | | If you do see him at your house or his, and you are not ready to have sex with him, just tell him up front that you are not ready to take that step yet. If he's a d-bag, he'll keep pushing you, and you don't want someone who won't respect what you do and don't want anyway. If he's a good guy, and he likes you, he'll respect that you're not ready and won't push for it. Just don't come across as a tease, because that's not cool, either. | |
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| when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates. Posted: 8/5/2012 3:01:48 PM | On the first few dates, I think you need to feel out the situation. I never usually do this, but I kissed the woman I am seeing now on the first meet. The chemistry was there and the signals were there. Not a make out style kiss, but a soft, lingering, romantic kiss. The second time we kissed was in more of a private setting.
** However, in general I love PDA and so does she. Just the other night we were getting a Redbox movie at the grocery store. We also walked the isles so we could learn a bit about favorite foods, etc.. We were in the frozen foods section, and I spun her around, lifted her against the freezer, kissed her, and then told her to get out of the way so I could grab an ice cream as I smacked her on the ass..This is a direct quote "That was kind of hot". | |
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| when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates. Posted: 8/5/2012 3:51:30 PM | If there is a attraction, when you meet, I dont see anything wrong with a kiss. I think, a kiss can tell alot. If you like this guy, why not have him come to your place for a movie or something. Tell him up front, your not ready for sex. Wish you the very best, Hope it works out. | |
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| when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates. Posted: 8/5/2012 4:22:03 PM | Geez. To the original poster. Ive found the complete opposite. 19 mabey 20 i would be so nervous it would take a few dates for me to try and kiss. usually done after walking her home. I will say the longer i waited for the first kiss the deeper the attraction became.
being older now. I wont even do a second date without a kiss. No patience And ive had problems with being led on. So without it i move on.
as far as casually stopping by. Like the dreded seinfeld pop in im sure most guys would assume it would lead to sex.
mabey not depending on the time. Midnight for sure. Lunch time not so much | |
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| when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates. Posted: 8/5/2012 4:38:03 PM |
Kiss wherever and whenever you want to. What's wrong with two people showing affection for each other? If others are offended that's their problem.
Yes! I totally agree! I love kissing and the sooner I can find out if a guy is a great kisser or a sloppy (yuck) kisser, the better. Sloppy kisses are a deal breaker for me, no matter what! Soft, lingering, teasing kisses to start with makes me weak in the knees ... :-) | |
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| when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates. Posted: 8/5/2012 6:38:02 PM | at least he is open to you stopping by anytime. Probably means he is not dating anyone else,...at least not inviting them over. bring some good food that he likes over,...or a movie. kiss all you want to. let him know early on that you are not yet ready for sex. Be honest and never lead him on. | |
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| when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates. Posted: 8/5/2012 8:44:54 PM | | That's true at least it looks like he's not dating anyone else. We haven't been to each others houses because we live a ways away from each other and have met in the middle for dates. He is a good kisser and I'm sure if given the luxury of an empty house I would not be able to abstain. I think it's the old idea that if we have sex already I may be considered either loose or expendable. I suppose either could be true without a big problem. It sounds like most of you have dates that start or end up at each other's houses, so that's helpful to know. | |
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| when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates. Posted: 8/5/2012 10:11:04 PM | Isn't it fascinating how the threshold of maturity has different effects on different people?
The right mate can make you say to yourself: I feel giddy as a teenager!
The wrong mate of the SAME age can make you say to yourself: I'm too old for this sh!t! | |
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| when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates. Posted: 9/24/2012 12:43:01 PM | | OP, if you stop by his house, at least one of you will probably try to take the action down the hall. Your post indicates you'd be up for making out without the pressure of sex, so either make it clear that nothing goes beyond the living room, or take a drive together and find a quiet place to park. | |
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| when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates. Posted: 9/24/2012 2:35:01 PM | I had met someone for a first meet, we met for dinner, he kissed me on the cheek when we first met, had dinner, went to a movie, he kissed me in the theatre, then afterwards in the parking lot, went for drinks , kissed again. I gauge attraction according to such a reaction, as i'm very tactile and a cold fish I don't want. I had absolutlely no issue with it, additionally he's an excellent kisser and I was wildly attracted to him.
If you think it's age inappropriate, then you're too old.
... But i've been told that's just me that gauges attraction like that | |
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| when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates. Posted: 9/25/2012 7:13:02 AM |
So, you'd really want to date someone who would think that about you for having sex with him? I just really find it hard to believe that women will date guys who think like that. It's like having no self-esteem.
Agreed. I don't get this at all. For any woman that is scared of being thought of as loose or a slut because they dared to have sex with someone (!), why the heck are they going out with people with sexist viewpoints in the first place?! | |
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| when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates. Posted: 9/25/2012 9:07:29 AM | I have been reading these forums trying to figure out generally online dating rules. Many people agree that a first kiss happen after the first date to see if there is attraction. Ok now I have had the third date and we are kissing at our cars in a parking lot of a public place. After age 20 I don't think this is too appropriate. Where do I go from here? Where can one realistically make out with out having sex.
Making out is for high school kids. If you're not yet ready for sex, don't fondle him, and limit your physical contact to kissing only until you ARE ready for sex.
Meet your date in public places where the two of you won't be alone---don't go to his house or invite him to yours, unless you intend to follow through---otherwise he could label you as a tease. | |
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