Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > issues with oral      Home login  
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 3
issues with oralPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Lick & suck it get itball full of saliva & use ur hand. Keep practicing. But not to the point of gagging. Go far enough in before urvhanna gag. Maybe u need to get a backrub & lots of oral & fingerings to get relaxed. Its a try any way haha
Joined: 2/27/2012
Msg: 8
view profile
issues with oral
Posted: 8/14/2012 5:42:24 AM
If you don't want to give head, just don't. Plenty of men are fine with it.
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 9
view profile
issues with oral
Posted: 8/14/2012 6:31:52 AM
It's not a deal breaker. As others have said in this thread there is more than one way to skin a cat. I have an unusually large head and really prefer just having it sucked or licked while I'm being stroked. That actually feels better than the whole "deepthroat" experience. Ask your guy and I'll bet you will be surprised by his responses and eagernesss to share with you his likes and dilikes (just as he should talk to you about yours). Theres nothing wrong with asking your partner what they like. The open dialogue between couples makes the sexual experience more intense and special.
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 10
issues with oral
Posted: 8/14/2012 6:43:31 AM
There is a spray that you can buy that will numb the gag reflex, it may help you get used to it.
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 13
view profile
issues with oral
Posted: 8/14/2012 9:19:06 AM
I am assuming that you enjoy oral sex being done to you OP, and I wonder what you would do if your man just did not want to do that or felt that he could not? Is it not about time to talk to each other about what you like and do not like, want to do and what you do not want to do, and how to enjoy each other within the boundaries of acceptance by each of you?

First and foremost, you do not have to deep throat to give good head with your partner, and if you talk with him about letting you control how deep you go, and how you perform, then you will be in charge and not have all those mental issues that you seem to have. Tell him that you enjoy him stroking your body or touching you while you give him head, but not to have him force your head down deeper, or to move his body up in such a way that you may gag.

Licking and sucking his head while stroking with your hand can and does give much of the same feeling as someone using the deep throat method. Have him teach you what turns him on with oral sex, and then do that as well to use it as a teaching experience for you to tell him what you like, how, and show him the best way to do you. Talking and experimenting can be as sensual and satisfying as saying nothing at all and just is all in the presentation!!

Joined: 7/30/2009
Msg: 14
view profile
issues with oral
Posted: 8/14/2012 9:36:03 AM
Eat bananas.....slowly
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 19
issues with oral
Posted: 8/14/2012 6:26:50 PM

any advice?

Don't worry about taking it deep. The most sensitive part of a man's penis is the head anyway. Just lick and suck on the head and only go as far as you feel comfortable with. You don't need to go anywhere near your gag reflex to please a man orally. Plus, you can always use your hand on the shaft.
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 21
view profile
issues with oral
Posted: 8/16/2012 9:14:24 AM
I know of a couple men that don't like blowjobs.......

never understood it......but they insist they don't want a woman doing it!
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 26
view profile
issues with oral
Posted: 10/9/2012 3:31:08 AM
No need to take too much in, head is often enough. If you want to do deep oral then practice. I always make sure he is just cleaned, even if it means me dressing as a maid or nurse to clean it myself (nasty smells makes me anxious).

I take it you are not asking about what to do with a penis, so don’t need to be told. What you are better being given is advice about control. You stay in control of what you do and how much - clear. But I mean breathing control.

Breathing the right way is important for anxiety and for taking penises into the mouth! Take a breath in through the nose as you lower/put your mouth over the head, hold then breath out as you go down/take it in further. It makes taking it in easier and there is less chance of gagging. Also the controlled breathing will likely help the anxiety. You could practice on a phallic object of relevant size. Once in you could follow the rhythm of your breath for the rhythm of your mouth strokes. Imagine it is a chocolate ice-cream lolly or something yummy! Hopefully after sometime you will enjoy your lolly so much that you won’t have to think about the breathing and following it. But change your mouth action without following the breath.
If you don’t want to take it all in then no need. If a man is very long and in certain positions I use a lubed hand on the lower part and mouth on upper moving them in union and/or separately.

That is just a way to deal taking a penis in in general and lessening the gagging. Though

If you don’t already you could get support re your anxiety.
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 30
view profile
issues with oral
Posted: 10/15/2012 7:18:20 PM
Anyone else find it funny this thread was resurrected from August, and the OPs profile says she's a female looking for a female? Apparently she wasn't able to get over her anxiety and decided to switch sides. This thread is probably best left alone now. LOL
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 31
view profile
issues with oral
Posted: 10/15/2012 8:35:46 PM
I had a strong gag reflex for years. It's only recently that it's tamed down. However, it didn't stop me from getting really good at giving oral sex.

First of all, you're young, and a lot of younger folks seem to take awhile before they get comfortable with giving oral sex, guys and gals both. Some people never do get comfortable with it. Most folks seem to consider it standard issue these days but there are some guys around who aren't into getting it. I know, I dated one, and had that relationship lasted, it would have eventually driven me crazy. So, one possibility is trying to find a guy who doesn't care. That's probably going to seriously limit your options.

If you *want* to get into it, I would suggest the following: first of all, you need a guy who is patient and caring who is not going to pressure you. Go slowly. Start with just your tongue on the head. In fact, you might just start not doing anything oral at all, just hang out with his man parts, get to know them, get comfortable with them. Look at them, stroke them, play with them. Use lube. Lick them with your tongue, you don't have to put anything into your mouth. Do this a little at a time, get comfortable with it. Have him tell you how good it feels, stroke your head while you're doing it, and pay attention to him and how much pleasure you're giving him. Little by little, just take a little more each time but do it at your comfort level. You don't have to take more than you can comfortably handle. Use your hand wrapped around the shaft to give more sensation.

Make sure you're with a guy who is sweet, loving, and patient. Stay away from guys who don't care about you and are shoving their erection in your face. Run like hell!

Give yourself some time. If that doesn't work, then perhaps some professional counseling might be necessary.

Giving good oral sex is really great fun once you get into it.
Joined: 10/12/2012
Msg: 32
view profile
issues with oral
Posted: 10/16/2012 1:50:30 AM
If it causes you that much trouble, don't worry about it, there are much worse problems in bed to have.
Joined: 11/8/2010
Msg: 33
issues with oral
Posted: 10/17/2012 3:57:20 AM
face your fears and get plenty of practice
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 36
issues with oral
Posted: 1/13/2013 11:33:07 AM
Wow, the poor girl never said she won't or even did not want to give oral, she said it made her anxious because her throat would close and she would gag. I too have a horrible gag reflex and when I was younger tried all the banana , dildo etc down the throat to train away the gag reflex. Never did train it away, still can't deep throat. Not unless the guy wants me to puke on him!

Does not stop me from giving oral, just stops me from taking far enough down to start the gag reflex working. As many have said on here, the head is the most sensitive part anyway. I could give you all sorts of advice, but I have found that different things work for different guys. Experiment, trust me you will know what feels best for your guy and you will know what is going to get him off.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > issues with oral