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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is there really a right one, or just compatible?      Home login  
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 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 3
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)

What do others think about this? Is this a flight of fancy? Is there really one person out there you're meant to be with?


Yeah, I agree it's pretty silly. So much of our behavior is on the sub-conscious or hormonal level and what brings us together often times is not what our conscious mind can comprehend. But I do believe we have that "spark" with just a few during our lifetimes. With some it can feel like a gift from the heavens and others turn out to feel like curse. But hopefully all are learning experiences.
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 4
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 11:48:30 AM

I like the song "Ghost Of A Chance" by the rock group Rush. The chorus goes:

"I don't believe in destiny
Or the guiding hand of fate
I don't believe in forever
Or love as a mystical state
I don't believe in the stars or the planets
Or angels watching from above
But I believe there's a ghost of a chance we can find someone to love
And make it last... "


I believe in Rush. They f*cking kick ass.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 5
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Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 11:56:24 AM
I get that nothing is perfect, but how can good shared love, not be good enough? sometimes I just don't get it.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 6
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 12:10:33 PM

they're looking or waiting for the "right person". The way they discuss it, I take it to mean a "soulmate"

Nah, I would necessarily take it quite that literally. I mean, some people probably do mean “The One” soul-mate they’re fated to meet. But to others, the ‘right one’ could also just mean the person who suits their requirements.

Like looking for the right car, the right shirt, the right person for the job, it’s just a word that means ‘especially suitable’, not absolutely unique in the whole world. Not in most cases.
 greenfield101
Joined: 8/5/2012
Msg: 7
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 12:12:44 PM
I think soulmate is a euphemism for compatibility on several levels with one particular person. But most people don't realize to get to that stage of multi-compatibilities you have to commit A LOT of time and effort with the person, sometimes it's not until a few years after marriages that you would really understand each other at that levels. So finding a soulmate after a few dates ?? Good luck. Then how do you know at the beginning if someone is worth your time to commit to? Speaking from my own experience, one has to feel a special attraction towards each other, enough for them to envisage a bigger "together" picture and not to sweat the small stuffs.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 8
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 12:14:54 PM
I dont think everyone who says 'the right one' believes in soul mates etc...they are just looking for someone who 'gets them'.
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 10
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 12:25:44 PM
I realize not everyone takes the soulmate thing literally, but I'm too lazy to sort them out from the people who do. If you can't express yourself more logically, we aren't a match anyway. So I love it when people idealize a relationship they don't even have, because that tells me they are probably either co-dependent or needy or a maudlin Level 5 Clingon or prone to fantasy or gullible or emotionally sweaty or some combination of the above, none of which are on my bucket list. I don't want to be responsible for somebody else's cosmically proportioned expectations about something that's really not all that difficult or complicated. Even wolves and vultures mate for life, give me a break. Thank you.
 m8t
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 11
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 12:28:48 PM
You forgot one~ jaded.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 12
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Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 12:31:03 PM


say they're looking or waiting for the "right person". The way they discuss it, I take it to mean a "soulmate", or the ONE person for them, like they're meant to be together, & they're waiting for fate to drop them in their path.

What do others think about this? Is this a flight of fancy? Is there really one person out there you're meant to be with? Or is it more realistic to realize there are many people with whom you'd probably be compatible, but no one person is "perfect for you".



there are probably several possible right people for us in various times of our lives
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 14
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 1:07:08 PM
""I don't believe in destiny
Or the guiding hand of fate
I don't believe in forever
Or love as a mystical state
I don't believe in the stars or the planets
Or angels watching from above
But I believe there's a ghost of a chance we can find someone to love
And make it last... "


I'm in the same camp.

I believe there are about 22000 women, at any given time, that I could love and have a rewarding life with.

"You'll work" has replaced "You're the one for me" as my romantic phrase of the year.

;P

Could, possibly, be why I'm single too; but hey

I would just like to end my post with this:


In his last times, bed-ridden because of Alzheimer, my grandad would look at my grandma and call her "beautiful".
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 16
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Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 1:22:37 PM
Millions of people on earth ...........and only ONE can be SO compatible you think your souls are meshed?
Naw.

My closest "soul mate" was a dog.
Two peas in a pod


The next was my best friend in high school..
While one was figuring out where and when,the other was figuring out how not to get caught.
Just a look..and knowing it was Sat night.

Relationships with the opposite sex are different to me.

You build those on many levels.
You work at it and have to try harder than with another woman or with an animal where you are the leader of the pack as we ( men and women)are so different by nature in our brains .

Don't forget.................... Love The One You're With ........CSN
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 17
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 1:29:49 PM
Ha!!

I loved your soulmate reply, and was JUST about to tell you how beautiful you are (inside, and apparently, out!)

Then I realized; this has already been said!!

;P

I hope this letter finds you well Sweet Caroline!!
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 18
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Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 2:48:50 PM

Is there really one person out there you're meant to be with?


Soul mate(s)? Ah, hell, who knows. I suppose if it were to happen I might then be a believer, but until then I'm going to be happy if I find just one lovely lady who finds enough kindness and passion in and from me to want to return the same. Does that make us soul mates? Again, ah hell, I don't know.

What I do know is that what I want and what I need quite often are two different things. What I desire today may differ drastically next month. Some things I don't seen to stray from while others I don't lose sleep over.

As for the latter half of the query as to whether 'no one person is perfect for me'; yeah, probably. Realistically, I don't want perfect, I want someone who can make me forget perfect. Can make me forget the unattainable exemplar that I probably put before me that aids in establishing boundaries/walls to limit potential relationships. Shoot, if the last lady/lover was so perfect for me that I gave her half my life (and most of my adult life) ended up being not so perfect after all, what would the next go-round be like. Just sayin'.

Perfect? Naw, how-'bout simply sufficient to make me feel special a couple times a week. Is that too much to ask? I promise to try and do at least that much in return.

TK
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 19
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 2:51:44 PM
Soulmate is earned, not given.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 20
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 3:02:42 PM
A 'Soul Mate' can never be 'found'.
It's not like searching for a runaway pet dog, where you scream their name enough, they'll eventually hear you and come running home with their jingle bell collar on. That magic eye contact across the room crap is a bunch of hooey.

It's the dumbest, stalest, most overblown idea that has ever been loaded on humanity with huge side of B.S. - 'FIND"ing a soul mate. It sounds like they might be on the pantry shelf behind the black olives and the brown mustard - I just lifted up the spaghetti noodles and *boom* there she was!

Soul mates are developed over time, tolerance, and sharing life experiences. You can decide the second you lay eyes on someone that you are attracted to them - but that's biology, not some cosmic influence. People call it 'finding' someone because they were single and looking - but NOBODY honestly knows immediately if the person they are making contact with is going to be there 40 years later. Looking back - people blur their memories together, and those moments that were significant get amplified and played over and over again in their memory - until it BECOMES something 'magical'.
 TC2u
Joined: 6/22/2011
Msg: 21
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Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 3:34:26 PM
The compatible one can become the right one. I don't think there's such a thing as soulmates either.
 notdating-forumsonly
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 22
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 3:47:27 PM
Yes, the one you love who you are compatible with is the right one.
 ZombiezRock
Joined: 8/7/2012
Msg: 23
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 4:03:25 PM
I'm just looking for the "one" I don't end up wanting to smother in their sleep!!
 382838382838
Joined: 7/15/2012
Msg: 24
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 4:27:51 PM
There are many people that one can connect with to the point that the love is so deep it feels like a soul mate. But think about it, the person who you look for at 20 is not the same person you look for at 40. Also if you live in New York you will meet a person there and if you live in another state you can meet someone from that state and be happy. So no there is not just one person for us.
 LoveMyDog55
Joined: 7/18/2012
Msg: 25
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 4:33:40 PM
I dont think everyone who says 'the right one' believes in soul mates etc...they are just looking for someone who 'gets them'


True enough! But, even then you still might not be a good fit

I was never into Rush, more of a Jethro Tull fan
 coolellaine
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 26
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 5:32:36 PM
Smudgefizz you answered yourself with msg 13. Dead on.

However, you can tell if there is a "spark" or chemistry when you meet someone. I use it to choose my show dogs and show horses - people say I'm nuts, but you do get a sense of compatibility, for lack of better word, when first seeing and meeting an animal. I have turned down purchases for no other reason than "lack of chemistry".

Same goes for the people I meet. USUALLY my intuition will tell me as to whether we will get along.
 TRESemme1
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 27
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 5:59:41 PM
I say that if a guy messages the girl and the girl likes how the way the guy looks plus coupled with credentials like the guy having bachelor's or master's or doctor's degree or has a business and awesome personality typed on his profile then the girl falls hard for the guy right there and then.

I would say that the girls look at the guy's pictures MOSTLY. if they like what you look like, they will fell for you.
 acceptable person
Joined: 6/25/2010
Msg: 28
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 6:01:35 PM
I believe that the right one is also compatible for a true relationship. However, some might consider compatible only needed for companionship or physical needs without true commitment. That too is okay, if that's what you are looking for without truly being obligated.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 29
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/15/2012 7:21:47 PM

coolellaine (Msg 29):
I use it to choose my show dogs and show horses - people say I'm nuts, but you do get a sense of compatibility, for lack of better word, when first seeing and meeting an animal. I have turned down purchases for no other reason than "lack of chemistry".


If I was to show up wearing a cute dog or horse costume, would you pick me or would I be barking up the wrong tree?
 Divine_huntress
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 31
Is there really a right one, or just compatible?
Posted: 8/16/2012 6:39:22 AM

I'm not so sure. Love isn't always a lightning bolt, you know? Maybe sometimes it's just a choice. Maybe true love is a decision. You know, a decision to take a chance with somebody, to give to somebody without worrying whether they'll give anything back, or if they're gonna hurt you, or if they really are the one. Maybe love isn't something that happens to you. Maybe it's something you have to choose.


Quote from a movie, but I couldn't say it better...

If I meet someone who is good enough, has good qualities and I feel attracted to him, I will give him a chance; sure he can hurt me or leave me, but love is about taking chances and not so 'stupid' Hallmark card poem.
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