Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > California  > The Basic Need of Men & Women      Home login  
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 2
The Basic Need of Men & WomenPage 1 of 1    
one statement that really stuck out to me. The author claimed that men have women tend to differ on their one basic need from each other. Men want to be needed; women want to be cherished.

Learn from that. Being needed for fixing something or buying something is very superficial and ephemeral,
but many men will opt for that and think it demonstrates that they care.

Being cherished does not happen in the short-term. Women may long for that feeling, but most men that may try to instantly givem that feeling of being cherished, are lying to try to get something back...
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 3
The Basic Need of Men & Women
Posted: 8/21/2012 10:25:29 AM
How can you state the human condition in 2 words or less?
I would assume that the book you mention was more in depth than "cherish" and "need".
What about protection? Why is a man's height the #1 criteria in choosing a mate?
What about values?
Goals in life?
Making a family?
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 4
view profile
The Basic Need of Men & Women
Posted: 8/21/2012 11:32:00 AM
I've heard men tell me repeatedly that they'll "protect me" ... from what? that one always
leaves me cold ... what do I need protection FROM?

and HEIGHT never even comes into the top TEN criteria in choosing a mate for ME ...

the top criteria I've used when I was planning to start a family and make babies ... included
the ability to pass on intellectual genes I'd want my children to have ... back then, I was also
concerned about goals ... values was a topic that was very high on my list ... the ability to live
with disappointments, to shrug them off, learn from them and move on was high ... a sense
of humor to lighten our lives ...

now ... now? now that I no longer want to make babies with a partner to mold those babies
into responsible, happy, productive, healthy, etc. adults ... now?

I think I'd be more into being respected, appreciated, treated as an equal than I would be to
being "cherished" ... but "need?" hmmm ... I wouldn't want to be "needed" ... I don't think
I could relate to someone who wanted to be "needed" ...

why not just want to be together, enjoy each other's company ... laugh, love and be happy
without all the clinging ...

maybe that's why I'm still single after all these years ... because I don't "get it" ...
Joined: 5/29/2010
Msg: 5
The Basic Need of Men & Women
Posted: 8/22/2012 10:13:01 PM

if ones relationship is centered around transactional relationships I guess "need" could be part of the equation.....but not for me.

I am done with transactional relationships from someone that is nothing but a bag of unmet "needs"

No, I don't feel the need to be "needed", what I am looking for is a partner that I can share the second half of my life with. I really don't want to show all I have to offer to a potential mate (I am NOT referring to money, I am not rich by any means) as I do not want someone taking notes on what I can offer.......rather, I would want someone that is attracted to "Me" as I present myself....not my stuff or what I have to offer them....
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 6
The Basic Need of Men & Women
Posted: 8/23/2012 4:40:22 PM
Just respect me...
Joined: 3/13/2012
Msg: 7
The Basic Need of Men & Women
Posted: 8/25/2012 10:05:27 PM
I'm not a man, so who knows what they really want? But I will say this: a former lover told me he wanted to be the person I called on when I needed help.
Show ALL Forums  > California  > The Basic Need of Men & Women