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 mjseek
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 1
Proper IDPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Is it okay to ask to see a current driver license on a first meet...I am running up agaisnt a lot of cyber-ages vs ones real-age and a bunch of excuses on why they can't show it to me. I am aware people smudge their real age on dating sites. Though that might be deceptive, that in itself might not be the deal breaker for me at least. Truth in advertisement is a thing of the past and I guess one must do what they got to do to present a suitable package to the outside world. My question to you, what is an acceptable expiration date?
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 2
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Posted: 8/21/2012 10:45:39 AM
I'd have no issue showing my driver's license to anyone to show my real age. I would, however, cover my address up.

Frankly, if you do feel they're fibbing their age before you meet them, then why bother?
 mjseek
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 3
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Posted: 8/21/2012 10:50:50 AM
...yeah that is one of the excuses but they at the same time got my address as well. Guess I should be a bit more careful.
 mjseek
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 4
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Posted: 8/21/2012 10:53:22 AM
has nothing to do with thinking they are fibbing it's all about verification...
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 5
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Posted: 8/21/2012 10:54:46 AM
I would firmly say NO to showing someone a D.L. on a first meet. You might as well have them meet you at your house, and give them all sorts of private information, thus completely compromising your personal privacy and your safety at the same time.

You don't trust your own eyes? Get better glasses.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 6
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Posted: 8/21/2012 11:02:11 AM
I think asking for a DL would show to my you are paranoid and would exhibit other trust issues at a later date.

I do know some men that do this if they suspect the woman is underage, but that is a different venue than PoF, and it's more of a legal issue.
 mjseek
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 7
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Posted: 8/21/2012 11:02:19 AM

You don't trust your own eyes? Get better glasses


I'll give you a pass on your last comment because you don't know me.

FYI: But you can show your birthday and while covering up your address
.
 mjseek
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 8
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Posted: 8/21/2012 11:07:53 AM

I think asking for a DL would show to my you are paranoid and would exhibit other trust issues at a later date.


So when I go into a business establishment and ask to see my ID/DL it is they who are paranoid?
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 9
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Posted: 8/21/2012 11:09:57 AM
Op ask them what year they graduated high school--most people graduated anywhere from 16 to 19 so that will give you their correct age by within 3 years.

However, a better question imho, why does age matter so much to you?

I get that you are wondering if they lied about it--and yes I agree that is an important clue as to who they are--however, I have met a few guys who were hung up on age--one refused to be involved with an older woman--he didn't think that was right (his exact words) and another wanted someone younger than him so he would look younger when he was with them ><

In other words dont put your issues on someone else.
 mjseek
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 10
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Posted: 8/21/2012 11:24:19 AM

Op ask them what year they graduated high school--most people graduated anywhere from 16 to 19 so that will give you their correct age by within 3 years.


One could offer a lie about the year in which they graduated


However, a better question imho, why does age matter so much to you?


outside of a legal issues it doesn't matter...as I have stated in my opening comment...it wouldn't necessarily be a deal-breaker.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 11
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Posted: 8/21/2012 11:45:54 AM
if I went on a first meet/greet or first date and the man asked to see my Drivers' License ...

I'd look at him as though I thought he was nuts ... for the obvious reason ... I'd excuse
myself and I'd leave ...

I'm older than most of you are ... and my life has gotten too short for me to waste it
mollifying people who are THAT obsessive about things I wouldn't have given a second
thought to ... but maybe I'm just too careless ... shrug ...

as for your question, "what is an acceptable expiration date?" guess that's personal ...
 noflimflam
Joined: 4/20/2009
Msg: 12
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Posted: 8/21/2012 12:38:25 PM
Nicely stated; I agree.
 Plenty_of_FreeTime
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 13
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Posted: 8/21/2012 12:56:13 PM
I think I'd wait a few dates until you got to know the other person better,kind of a bold question to ask right out of the gate.
Also you can peruse other dating sites to see if the numbers match,so to speak.
I know one local lady she who says she's 61 on POF and 57 on Zoosk....hmmmm???
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 14
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Posted: 8/21/2012 1:25:56 PM
Is this, by any chance, because you are chasing very young girls, and fear that you will be prosecuted for victimizing underage females? That's the only reason I can think of, for why you need to be so certain of someone's exact age.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 15
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Posted: 8/21/2012 2:18:35 PM
I think it is bad form for a guy to ask a lady for an ID.
Unless she is a big scary lady that looks like she could take you down and rob you.

but otherwise....why?

Now I can understand a woman asking me.
and that is OK.
But I would never ask a lady to see hers.
Just odd.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 16
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Posted: 8/21/2012 2:39:34 PM
You know what I find scary about this whole subject? Actually showing someone my driver's license picture...ewww


<div class="quote">If someone "looks" the right age to me, that's all I really care about for the first few dates - details can come later. And if he said 55 and he's 57 - I just don't care. ID, geez.

I feel the same way as welsh. A few years difference doesn't matter to me...to a degree. I once went on a meet and didn't reconize him from his pic....he was sooo much older.

You mentioned establishments asking for ID...well they do so for good reason...senior discounts, making sure minors are not being served alcohol or sold cigarettes. The list goes on. But you get the idea

Anyhow, I'm thinking a lot of people are going to take offense to you asking to see their drivers license, so be prepared for the back lash OP.

And good luck.

...mae
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 17
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Posted: 8/21/2012 3:24:59 PM

Why would exchanging I.D. not be the standard in online dating?


Identity theft, for starters...
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 18
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Posted: 8/21/2012 3:25:42 PM
Actually if POF had you verify your age with your driver's license--now that would be stellar!

Imagine everyone on here having to have the correct age on their profile--Id almost pay to be on a site that had a bit more of a background type of thing--people had to prove their age, education, marriage status of single, divorced, widow, etc, employment--not that it would show the information to anyone else but similar to the way you do an online credit application--I think all the rules would suddenly change and the age differences become nonexistant--meaning I think there are a ton more people over 50 than the ages on profiles indicate!
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 19
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Posted: 8/21/2012 3:26:29 PM
if someone basically called me a liar on a 1st meet, i'd be out pretty damm qwik...very controlling to demand proof!
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 20
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Posted: 8/21/2012 3:39:06 PM
Do you require my SS# as well? Good way to scam a 'suitable package'.

If the person you see in front of you is not someone you want to spend time with, go your own way.

Sounds to me like you are trying to use their credit card, etc numbers.

Good try.

You are not very good at scamming folks.

Don't quit your day job.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 21
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Posted: 8/21/2012 4:03:23 PM

Women especially should be asking to exchange I.D., maybe even texting the full name and birthdate of their date to a friend.


if you're THAT paranoid, i suggest a professional matchmaker rather than internet dating sites.

you take normal precautions, like meeting in a public place with lots of people around, arriving and leaving alone.

if you're not comfortable doing that, this medium is NOT for you.

and i agree with Paderic about identity theft...
 mjseek
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 22
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Posted: 8/21/2012 4:47:53 PM
lets see I have been accuse of being a pedophile, con-artist, and paranoid...anything else? All the name calling by people who don't even know me. I get the impression from some of you especially the ones that felt insulted, that maybe in fact you're trying to hide something. But you same people seem to have no problems showing adequate ID to a total stranger in your daily course of life. At the same time there are so many tread relating to a person appearing much older then they actually are and in some cases much younger...go figure? Trusting will get you into a world of hurt, I prefer to "Trust then Verified!
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 23
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Posted: 8/21/2012 4:57:28 PM
this is another reason why I like in real life dating!
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 24
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Posted: 8/21/2012 5:03:34 PM
No accusations, just questions. You mentioned that you have concerns about legal issues, but have not been specific.

Tell us WHY you feel you need to verify someone's exact age (as opposed to the visual cues I averred to at the outset), and we can address the mystery you are so far purposely hiding from us, and challenging us to support.

Why would someone in your age range, need to know if someone is, or is not around your same age, for dating purposes?

For the sake of legal issues in stores, it's not paranoia. It's a specific legal requirement that your age be verified. That is a Red Herring statement on your part.

So what exactly drives this for you OP? Why exactly do you need to verify true age? If you say why, and your concern is legitimate (and not what I put out as a possibility) then I strongly suspect we will be able to come up with a way to assist you.

Why so cagey?
 mjseek
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 25
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Posted: 8/21/2012 5:10:55 PM

this is another reason why I like in real life dating!


There's nothing complicated about life we just make it complicated!
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