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 biggercountry1
Joined: 8/15/2012
Msg: 1
is ths ok in a relationshipPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
In a relationship would this be ok with anybody or is this odd,wrong, ??? I am 34 she is 31. We have been together for over a year. I love her she says she loves me. We have good times great sex and if we do get in a fight(verbal) it dont last long. But here is what kills me she likes her space sometimes and I understand that . So on those days or nights rather she likes to go to her local dive bar were everybody knows her name kinda like cheers... And it's not my favorite thing for my women to be doing its mostly drunk single guys but OK as long as she's home after closing time. This is what kills me so on the days -nights when it's our time she will not go there with me at all no way and refuse's to tell me why.
I'm not stupid I know why ... That's the first thing the other two are -She wont say we are in a relationship on facebook and the other is she is on this site everyday. Is this type of behavior normal or ok with other people. Please tell me your thaughts I really dont have many friends to talk to about this. To top it off she's even pregnant with my kid but this stuff is breaking us up as of last night .......
 biggercountry1
Joined: 8/15/2012
Msg: 2
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 7:31:28 AM
By the way I am only on here because of her so dont take my profile serious
 FairOaksChick
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 3
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 7:39:23 AM
No it is not okay in a relationship. If she refuses to go to the bar with you, she is either hiding something or is embarrassed for her friends to see her with you. And if she is pregnant and intends to keep the baby, I sure hope she is not drinking when she goes to the bar. She wants to be single and be able to continue to flirt and get attention - she's not ready for a relationship, at least not a traditional monogamous relationship.
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 4
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 7:43:54 AM
Move on. She's a selfish bit*#.

She's keeping you on a leash and knows she's got you whipped.

I wouldn't even discuss it further.

She's looking for your replacement and keeping you close by until she finally does find him.
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 5
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 7:46:43 AM
I missed the pregnant part. Yikes. Alcohol and a fetus don't go well together. I'd really be concerned about her ability to be a parent. I hope you don't mind babysitting while she's down at the pub.

There's always hope. Are you close to her family? Maybe you all need to surprise her at your home and sit her down. Read her the riot act and tell her how foolish she is behaving.
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 6
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 8:00:10 AM
You should have used a condom or doubled up for each act of sex. You're foolish to have engaged in such a relationship with an irresponsible woman, and now this irresponsible bar fly and irresponsible man with a dating profile on PoF are going to become parents. God forbid.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 7
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is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 8:04:43 AM
None of this is okay and why do you not have a problem with her drinking when she's pregnant? You don't have to be "with" her to support her through the pregnancy and if she wants to continue bar hopping after she has the baby sue for full custody.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 8
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 8:16:09 AM
OP,, WOW!!!!,,I am not one to throw all kinds of Red Flags out,,I can't see anything in your relationship that is healthy,, hanging out in bars without you, not a good idea,, especially if it's a place where she won,t take you,, then add she knows all guys,, gets wasted or drunk with them,, now add she is pregnant,, while drinking,, have you asked your self is the baby yours,, you also say your sex is good,, have you been tested for STDs, HIV.. Has she moved in with you, or have you moved in with her..if she moved in with you,, does she work,,or is she just using you for a place to live,, hey i don't know,, but i would sit down and have a pow wow with her, ASAP..
 biggercountry1
Joined: 8/15/2012
Msg: 9
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 8:21:12 AM
I thank all of you for the input it means a great deal to me. I will ad this she does have severe depression it comes and goes. She was fine when i met her for the first 6-7 month's then it came off and on really bad. She's been on every antidepressant drug dam near with no good results she also has bad back pain. It's unfortunate but if she has a vicotin or percocet it makes her happy as a clam kills her back pain and is a wonderfull person but if not it's hell on earth everythings negative . But doctors dont just give that stuff out :(
 biggercountry1
Joined: 8/15/2012
Msg: 10
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 8:26:44 AM
I've been to the bar with her a few times she wont do it any more. It was just a month ago she left with a guy that is just a friend to his place untill 5 am to feed her grapes and drink wine she insists they did not have sex but he washed her hair
 AnAustralianWoman
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 11
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 8:33:56 AM

By the way I am only on here because of her so dont take my profile serious
.....Really? So why put up such a 'dud' profile when it is just as easy to put up an accepted profile? Did you think us lovely people at the forum would bring up the fact that you are listed as 'single' and you do drugs 'often'...more than 3 times a week'?
If you don't want to get shot down, then change your profile!
How sad is your situation? Your both in your 30's and expecting a child.
She hides you away from her friends and family on Facebook when normal couples would be embracing this situation.
You have been putting up with this for a year?
Next thread will be..."Why am I left at home nursing the baby whilst my SO is out partying"?
 _Full_of_Awesome_
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 12
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 8:34:30 AM

I've been to the bar with her a few times she wont do it any more. It was just a month ago she left with a guy that is just a friend to his place untill 5 am to feed her grapes and drink wine she insists they did not have sex but he washed her hair


I'm assuming that this whole thread of yours is a joke.
 OKgirl529
Joined: 10/29/2008
Msg: 13
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 9:16:14 AM
Pregnant and drinking alcohol? What a selfish ****.
If you stay with her, you deserve the drama.
 _Full_of_Awesome_
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 14
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 9:28:13 AM

Dude - if there is an ounce of truth to your thread, plan to get a PATERNITY TEST.


And he should get tested for STDs while he is there.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 15
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 9:55:59 AM

For the sake of (maybe) your child, document her drinking and behavior starting NOW.


Document her drinking? She could claim she just drinks water while at the bar. If he's not there to see what she drinks, he can't prove anything. And if she is friends with the guys in the bar, they will back up her story.
 lovefun99
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 16
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 10:30:33 AM
It's your own fault, you should have told her from the start that her behavior was unacceptable, then maybe you wouldn't have knocked her up...if you did...

There is a 50 - 50 shot that the the other dude is the father... Washing her hair, LOL is that what the kids are calling it now?

Pregnant, on all kinds of drugs and drinking thrown in on top of it!? Marry her now dude!!!!

And by the way, yes doctors do hand out pain meds to people that really need them and take them as prescribed....
 biggercountry1
Joined: 8/15/2012
Msg: 17
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 1:09:32 PM
Again i thank you all for the feedback... No this is not a joke and my profile is that way because I am not looking. Everybody here assumes she's going to have the baby but sadly not the case here. I do care very deeply about the drinking . I showed up at the bar one night to see her and she called me her stocker in front of everybody. I get it now I just really wanted things to work
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 18
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History
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 1:43:56 PM
You aren't in a relationship with her, she's a lover of yours and she probably has many at the bar. I'd be sure to get a paternity test done before you sign the birth certificate and I think you may want to talk to an attorney before the baby is born. Also if she's drinking and smokes or is around smokers, you may want to sue her for child abuse. Seriously, talk to an attorney right away, you need to know your rights before you make a stupid move. Unless you have proof that she has an abortion, don't assume. You need legal help, she could come up with a baby, maybe a damaged baby, and sue you. You have to know your rights.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 19
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 2:09:04 PM

We don't know how pregnant she is but eventually that is going to cramp her style when going out to her favorite bar


Um; am I the only one that believes that this may be exactly WITHIN her "style" to do?

I'd check to make sure it's your baby bud; and use the answer to that question as your starting point.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 20
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 2:42:13 PM
When woman is publicly single after a year of dating...
and calls you her stalker in front of her friends....
She is obviously not into you as much as you are into her.

Her actions seem like she is looking for your replacement.
You are fixin to be very hurt.
sorry.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 21
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 2:50:45 PM
I was with you until you said you weren't allowed to go - unless you are so obnoxious to take somewhere in public that she can't actually enjoy the time, there's no reason why you should be excluded. Sounds like she's not as in a relationship as you'd like her to be. That's all I got.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 22
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 5:20:14 PM
If you've ever seen/lived with/had to deal with a kid with fetal alcohol syndrome or effect, be GLAD she's having an abortion. That life should not be wished on one's worst enemy.

Both of you need to grow up. Doubt that'll be accomplished together.

Happy trails.
 biggercountry1
Joined: 8/15/2012
Msg: 23
is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/23/2012 9:09:32 PM
yes she is having a abortion. I took her to the doctor and seen the ultrasound with my own eyes. she wont listen to anybody she drinks and all the above . We are all done she deleted her pof and facebook. I lost my cool last night because she would not give me a answer about the bar. We were having ice cream at 31 flavors I tried to talk it all out and make our plans together very calmly. But when that question come up it was like she did'nt even hear it so i asked again . She jumped out my truck 3 miles from home and walked. I said F*** you and drove away .... Live and learn I would like a normal girl now lol .......
 aussieblues
Joined: 11/22/2011
Msg: 24
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is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/24/2012 12:55:49 AM
To hell with advice on the relationship. This woman is pregnant and going to a bar. What's up with that? Is she drinking alcohol?
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 25
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is ths ok in a relationship
Posted: 8/24/2012 2:34:01 AM
Your posts have painted her in a very bad picture but am sure if you sit down and think about it, you will notice when it all started to go wrong. When her feelings for you changed, maybe you didn't notice, ignored them or tried to fix it by talking about it but it didn't help. And it all went downhill from there. She took refuge in her favourite bar and didnt want you there.Instead of getting the message you tried to fix it. She got pregnant maybe to see if maybe her feelings would change or you would leave, none of them happened. You stayed and again tried to fix it. And now she's having the abortion maybe finally you will leave. Please dont try to fix it. Get the message, leave and never look back. Some people resort to irresponsible behaviour to make you dump them as they are too cowardly to say/do it themselves. Be aware of such and leave at the first sign of emotional detachment, dont wait for the drama.
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