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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > How do ya keep from getting jaded      Home login  
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 chris59newyork
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 1
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How do ya keep from getting jadedPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Sorry if I'm doing this wrong..but I'm kinda pissed off right now..To make a long story short I keep getting phone calls from my date's girlfriend..yeah..The nice guy I went out with last weekend has a girlfriend..next! Then this week it seems like every scam artist in the middle east is chattin lol! How do not get jaded, I mean I know not all the guys on here aren't creeps..but can ya give a woman some pointers..smh!
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 2
How do ya keep from getting jaded
Posted: 8/31/2012 9:47:40 AM
Sorry ... wish I could.

I feel the same way, so my advice would be to not really use this site as your main dating tool.
Try to move it into real a life.
Join meet up groups, where there will be actual live individuals that you can see.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 3
How do ya keep from getting jaded
Posted: 8/31/2012 9:48:43 AM
Maybe think of it like a scavenger hunt challenge. You realize that 95% of all the people online are NOT matches for you,
so when some clearly show themselves as mismatches early so you can block them,
appreciate the information.
It gets you a bit closer to that 5% that you actually want closer contact with.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 4
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How do ya keep from getting jaded
Posted: 8/31/2012 9:53:51 AM
Stay grounded, don't get invested in any individual until you've known him for a while, remember that trust is based on a person's behavior over time, place character before personality, go at your own pace.
 chris59newyork
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 5
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How do ya keep from getting jaded
Posted: 8/31/2012 10:01:19 AM
Thanks everyone..Oh I meet people IRL, but just thought this might be fun..smh! How did the guy's girl get my number..well when I checked my phone records the call was from his phone lol
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 6
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How do ya keep from getting jaded
Posted: 8/31/2012 10:04:56 AM
You have to gaurd your emotions... and do not trust blindly... give things time...

or you get jaded as people will erode your trust. Same goes for dealing with people in general...
not just online dating !
But with online dating you have far more opportunity to get jaded.

When you meet someone from online check them out fully on the deepest level your able, including
background checks if you can. Google their screen name, phone numbers and more. Don;t believe a damn thing until you are sure you are dealing with whom and what they claim... or be burnt in a thousand
different possible ways, health, financial, etc...

beware and gaurd your emotions, as for some
online dating is just cheap thrills and
people wanting to use someone for ha ha's, build their egos with meaningless
sex and thinking they can dupe anyone with false info and identity.

I too met losers and users like we all have.. Good Gosh there is some scum
in the world !!!
 meowkatt2012
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 7
How do ya keep from getting jaded
Posted: 8/31/2012 10:09:31 AM
Good question. I've learned too much what guys do in their spare time. Single. Is cool but attached & married is disappointing and has made me more suspicious. Also some ppl are hooked on dating sites. & out of habit just look around talking to strangers or " friends" all night. Some guys can't break that habit. Im on another site that has taught me so much about men good & bad that I've learned to communicate & understand. Our differences so much better. But I haven't really dated much. Have had a few boyfriends frim other. Site & FWB from here when I was on 3 years ago. Just no one from this site I have dated. So that's sad.
 chris59newyork
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 8
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How do ya keep from getting jaded
Posted: 8/31/2012 10:14:44 AM
I've already come to the conlusion that I stopped trusting men (sorry guys) who were online during the day without a damn good reason! One guy had just gotten out of prison..and was trying to find a place to stay lol,,the others were at an employment center killing time until they had to go home to their wife's
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 9
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How do ya keep from getting jaded
Posted: 8/31/2012 10:23:41 AM
I personally had run into several people who could have jaded me for life...
such awesome nonsense, such a distorted bent on reality.

Like the guy who was in this 40's who claimed he lived in a house, had 2 adult kids...
turned out he lived in a bedroom at his parents and actually had 3 kids, one an infant, whom he forgot to mention... also a criminal record, broke and still actually married to his 22 year old wife.
He also had shopping addictions for things he could not afford because he was basically broke. I ran
background check and he had been arrested before for dmestic violence, assault and also drugs.

My gosh what a purty profile he had.. a work of fiction is what it was. If I would have blindly belived him,
he would not just have wasdted my time, but took me on a ride for all he could, with no concern or even thought to his decpetions.
Ok so........
I learned to deal with dating site men with a lo9ng handled spoon, not believing a thing they claimed ]until meeting them. Luckily not many very good cons... lol
and what falls through the cracks can easily be known by hiring someone to check these clowns out.
Trust your instincts, be calm and listen.. they will tell you most of what you want to know.

no reason you have to get jaded, just slow down and assess carefully. I met someone.
He is decent.
You can meet someone too. I did have to throw back or pass on about 100 live in person meets and
a few I dated awhile, but most... easy to spot who to stop seeing
 Buckets_of_Sky
Joined: 2/7/2010
Msg: 10
How do ya keep from getting jaded
Posted: 8/31/2012 11:26:29 AM
Not sure how one would go about doing that.

I have a policy now that everyone that contacts me is bad new and if their mouth is moving I suspect that they are lying, unless they prove to me otherwise; I never make it easy for them either. Over all my efforts have paid off.

As they say 'Non illegitimis carborundum'
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 11
How do ya keep from getting jaded
Posted: 8/31/2012 11:41:02 AM
Online dating is tough. The longer you do it and the more jaded you become. Nothing more mind numbing then 2 dating veterans discussing the terms and conditions of their first meeting. The severely jaded will make sure you understand this ain't no date mister, this is a meet and greet to see if we have mutual and compatible interests and chemistry. The meet will end in 20 minutes and I'll be watching the clock behind your head to make sure you understand the end is near. Don't even think about offering to pay. I don't need your money.

At the conclusion of our meeting, I expect you to pursue me relentlessly and declare that I am the fish for you. Keep in mind that I have several possible suitors to choose from so if you make one wrong move or send one bad text message, you're out of here! No 2nd date for you!
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 12
How do ya keep from getting jaded
Posted: 8/31/2012 12:20:52 PM

I've already come to the conlusion that I stopped trusting men (sorry guys) who were online during the day without a damn good reason! One guy had just gotten out of prison..and was trying to find a place to stay lol,,the others were at an employment center killing time until they had to go home to their wife's


No reason to become jaded, just more selective, ask more questions, get a feel for what they stand for and their lives experiences ARE.

For instance the total opposite has been my case, but in my profile I indicate what I like, what I don't like and what will be awesome. So for instance this one lady responded to me that because our religious differences we would not make a good match. Awesome! It saved me the wasted time to go out with her and realize that we had very little in common.

Yet this other lady I have gone out with, it's uncanny how easy flowing things are.

So if you become jaded, you will only see jaded people.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 13
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How do ya keep from getting jaded
Posted: 8/31/2012 12:26:52 PM
There are enough problems in my family that I have to deal with, I don't become jaded over some jerks, they don't effect my life, I just move on and forget them. They hold no emotional control over me, I'd have to let that happen. They can take their crap and dump it some where else, I don't have time to fret over idiots who have no place in my life.
 chris59newyork
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 14
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How do ya keep from getting jaded
Posted: 8/31/2012 1:05:04 PM
You folks are great!
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 16
How do ya keep from getting jaded
Posted: 8/31/2012 3:28:13 PM

How do not get jaded, I mean I know not all the guys on here aren't creeps..but can ya give a woman some pointers..smh!


All I can tell ya is what works for me.

Whiskey.


Good whiskey.


Very good whiskey. In fact, I'm staring at uncracked bottle as I type but it's too damn nice not to open a beer, in about 10 minutes.

Sooooooooo, I guess my answer is,,,,,,,,


BOOZE!!!!!!! :O
 JustMary65
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 17
How do ya keep from getting jaded
Posted: 8/31/2012 9:14:09 PM
OP-

Even with my best man-radar skills, I've been duped, but it just takes one decent man to restore my faith in humanity.

I have met different people over the course of my life.....and what people present isn't always 'honest' but I try to give folks the benefit of the doubt until their actions prove otherwise.

I don't think I'm jaded...maybe a tad cynical at times...but there are a lot of great men and women in the dating arena....it's just not as easy to spot.

Best wishes.

MM
 irish_smackie
Joined: 3/13/2012
Msg: 18
How do ya keep from getting jaded
Posted: 8/31/2012 11:56:26 PM
I've only met a few people, but talked with a lot. Personally, I felt the need to slow it down so I won't get burned out or bitter, so I hid my profile for the time being... I wouldn't want to be jaded or bitter if/when I finally meet the right man.
 JustMary65
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 19
How do ya keep from getting jaded
Posted: 10/14/2012 3:56:03 PM
OP-

It's hard not to get a bit disgusted with online dating etc, but when you do find that one diamond in the rough, it's all worth it whether you're taking chances online or off. I met someone I fell head over heels for in an AOL chatroom. We dated off and on for eight yrs. You just never know whose 'REAL' or those who might need a 'REALITY' check.

It should make you feel a bit better knowing most of us, regardless of gender, have run across a few folks ( okay, maybe more than a few) who leave ya on empty or shaking your head at the asinine stories and bs you unfortunately have to deal with. I guess some people have this belief because they are 'anonymous' online that they can say or do whatever they want and there is no recourse for such action.

The bad part is that some folks really get hurt by these unsavory sorts---and it's not a man thing...women are just as capable of blowing smoke up a guy's a$$ and try to convince them it's a wind storm. NOT!!

What I tend to do is laugh it off. Some of the stories I share make for some entertaining conversations others aren't worth the effort to repeat. Hang in there OP, you are not alone.
 Genuine_Gentleman_For_You
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 20
How do ya keep from getting jaded
Posted: 10/15/2012 4:27:12 PM
Set you settings to USA (or your country) only and you won't get foreign contacts.


Ahh, but 1388SmartBlonde, if only that were the case. Scammers from other countries typically use US locations on their profiles. And if a site screens out IP addresses from foreign countries known for scammers, they just mask, or re-route the IP address so as to appear to be from another location. So you still have to be on guard regardless.

Anyway, I think that I get jaded just about every time I log on here. lol.
 ForumsCreeper
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 21
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How do ya keep from getting jaded
Posted: 10/17/2012 4:32:15 PM
Dont take on-line dating too serious.
Work into a relationship be it on-line or IRL
Key your eyes wide open.
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