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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > INTRODUCTIONS      Home login  
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 10
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INTRODUCTIONSPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
What real difference does it make? You should know where you stand, and he should know where he stands......and the rest is irrelevant.....:)

I introduce those I am with by name, and if someone wants to know more, I just consider the source and either let it go or ask if that person that they are with is their girlfriend/boyfriend, or significant other.......and then move on....
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 11
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Posted: 8/31/2012 8:23:23 PM
do you wear his letterman's jacket with your arms inside the sleeves or out? guys will usually take their cue from that.
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 13
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Posted: 8/31/2012 11:24:42 PM
I associate the term "girlfriend" with kids, too. So I wouldn't go with that.

Whether this particular guy who is now being battered through the ether by Cat and others, was a lunk-headed would be player, or just a social klutz, I have no idea. Obviously, he failed to put any thought into the situation.

Being me, I would most likely say something off the cuff, designed to be both silly and off-putting, since after I introduced her by her name, someone asking for her and my relationship status would qualify as a prying, nosy busy-body. Anything from "Oh, she's actually an automaton, that I won in a ring toss game, last time I was visiting Disney World," to "She's my Professional Pet Wrangler, I'm just squiring her around a bit, as part of her getting to know my tendencies, in order to better adjust her methods for training the five Wombats back home."
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 15
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Posted: 9/1/2012 5:28:23 AM
Actually, it's all because my cuffs are a bit on the odd side.
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 17
Posted: 9/1/2012 6:20:26 AM
Why are yall make this stuff so complicated--do you realize how you sound when you say girlfriend is high schoolish but love of my life should be used????

Lots of repressed sexual aggression going on imho---or is it those regressed fairy tale stories we heard growing up--Cinderella you lost a shoe on aisle 9!!!!!!!

I'd much rather be called a girlfriend or something high schoolish than have some man lay a line like that down!

Men at this point in their life have been in love before so you are taking some weird spin of trying to be more special than what you can especially in a short period of time, you wont at the start of any relationship be more special than the prior women in their life--you aren't-- you are maybe someone for this stage of their life.
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 20
Posted: 9/1/2012 8:35:45 AM
I would introduce you as my girlfriend. Period.

A woman wanted me to meet her and her friends on a first date.

I asked her how would she would introduce me to her friends on a first date. Would I be your date? A friend?

She said it was an excellent question, lol

Nice woman but honestly, I would feel like a fifth wheel in that situation
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 21
Posted: 9/1/2012 8:37:43 AM

The ONLY time I was weirded out was when some man I had been seeing for a few months referred to me as his "lover".

Yikes! I have a friend at work that refers to his 'girlfriend' as 'the mother of his child'
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 30
Posted: 9/1/2012 1:35:33 PM
If it been an exclusive relationship for over six have earned the title "girlfriend" anything outside of that, it could either be this is my BF your name or this is my FWB your name.
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 45
Posted: 9/2/2012 8:19:28 AM
As a woman who balks at being called "girl," I have succumbed to being a "girlfriend" and my boyfriend is, well, my boyfriend. It is a cultural norm that people understand.

Saying "woman-friend" or "man-friend" sounds sillier. Saying, "This is Gwen, my friend" doesn't get it, either; sounds as if the person is "merely" a friend, but people who have been dating for a good while are more than just friends.

"Love of my life" indicates more than is there.

"Partner" indicates more than than is there.

I do not belong to anyone and I am not a man's "woman" or vice-versa.

"Lady" is pretentious and I have never heard a woman say, "This is my gentleman."

However, most people who see us together would assume a close relationship via body language and the way we speak to each other. If we chose to say, "This is my friend," people would have to be stupid not to understand, but unless the status of our relationship changes, it will be "boyfriend" because of the recognizable parameters the word sets.
Joined: 6/4/2011
Msg: 46
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Posted: 9/2/2012 5:58:06 PM
OP wrote:
How does a man over 45 years old introduce you. Does he say I'd like you to meet (insert name). Or are we too old to say I'd like you to meet my girlfriend (insert name). I was taken aback once wdhen a man I had dated 1 1/2 years said "oh, she's a good friend". Mens thoughts please?
In the Bible, Abraham called his wife, Sarah, his sister. Abraham didn't want to be killed because of his wife's beauty. Could this be a relevant comparison?

Anyway, I believe your introduction can be taken two ways. First, he could be allowing you freedom to determine if you wanted someone else over him and attempting to treat you as a possession. The other choice is that he is not really committed to you as you might be to him. My thought is you might want to know why he introduced you like that. What cannot be understood from above are the non-verbal communication, i.e. body language, during the conversation. Did he have any physical contact with you any time during the introduction? Or how far was he standing away from you? You may want to take that into consideration.

Me? I live in the South. One uses the title "Miss" and adds your first name. Small aside here, "Miss" could be used for a woman 80 years young and married for 65 years! It just doesn't matter! If she wants to feel like a possession, one might say, this is "My Lady", Miss such and such if she desires verbal comfort, but I believe the body language would do all the talking. If he introduces and stands back a half step, every man around would know who she is to him. He is proud to show her off. That should also be enough comfort and support to her. She would then to stand back by his side to confirm her position with him. Isn't communication wonderful? LOL
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 48
Posted: 9/3/2012 5:23:17 AM
Interesting responses... particularly the one from Igor :-)

Personally, I see a progression in a relationship going about like this:

(numbers are approximate and in months)

Friend/Date ---> Significant Other ----> Girlfriend.
1 - 2 ..........---> 3 to 5 or 6......... -----> 6+

In the absence of explicit commitments past "Girlfriend" I think that, after a year and a half, you should have been introduced as more than a friend. Being introduced as a friend after that much time, implies to me, that he sees you as FWB.

I don't associate a high-schoolish connotation to girlfriend/boyfriend. As Gwen pointed out, the terms have clear meaning in our society and, if they characterize the relationship accurately, why not use them ? I use girlfriend when the term is accurate for the situation.

I had some fun reading some of the alternatives offered. I thought, for fun only, I'd offer a few alternatives as well :-)

My Mambo partner.
The kegle machine
My hoover girl
My favorite intersection
My bedroom decorator
My nightly dessert
My masseuse
My swedish memory foam
My libido manager
My religious follower
The mattress copilot

Depending on the number of drinks, the particular setting, and the mood (hopefully playful) of those involved, any of the above would convey some of the idea. :-)
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 50
Posted: 9/3/2012 5:44:23 AM
I usually use "ladyfriend", at 50+ don't see us as boys or girls anymore. But that term hardly ever gets used, both of us just usually introduce the other by name and have not been put on the spot.
But several weekends ago at her cottage her daughter and grandkids were there the same night. The vening she got there the daughter introduced me as "her mothers special friend" to the people she was introducing me to. The next day after we were possibly louder than we thought I was referred to as "her mother's lover". LOL
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 52
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Posted: 9/3/2012 11:49:57 AM
My ex-Mother-In-Law always introduced me as her daughter's current friend. I should have paid more attention to the significance of that than I did.....
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 54
Posted: 9/3/2012 11:56:49 AM
I would introduce my girlfriends to people like this.

"Hey, I'd like you to meet_______(insert name). She's my main body fluid swapper and part time waitress. And oh, she CAN'T cook worth a damn!!!!"
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 55
Posted: 9/3/2012 4:48:10 PM

I told him I feel like hisunlawfully bedded wife. I serve the same function as a wife wtithout benefit of making it legal. I am not in any hurry to make our status legal in the eyes of the government or religion. I feel that the Lord knows the intention of my heart and in my heart the commitment we have made is as if we are married. I just wish there was a better word for it.

What's wrong with significant other?

The op said dating which is why I think the term girlfriend applies--if you are truly committed that is a different story but I would so yawn if someone introduced someone to me as "the love of my life" and they were just dating.
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 56
Posted: 9/3/2012 5:23:33 PM

I have no problem with being called a "girlfriend", "squeeze", "lover", "sweetheart", "honey", "significant other", "old lady" or whatever term of endearment a gentleman may wish to use

I'm so glad to hear you say that girlfriend. At breakfast the other day the waitress referred to you as my wife and I told her "oh no, we are only lovers". It's good to know you're OK with that. : )
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 63
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Posted: 9/4/2012 3:41:12 PM
Sigh! You still seeing that loser, then, OP? Same advice as the first 10,000 times.
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 65
Posted: 9/4/2012 7:53:39 PM
I thought that there had been a word coined for just this purpose...
Cindy O
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 67
Posted: 9/5/2012 9:36:17 AM

I would say my girl, but lately it's just.....This is my Vacation

Vacation buddy? That's a new I hate to ask but I'm going to anyway....What the H is a Vacation Buddy?

I never really thought about introductions....funny the things that come up in the forums. But should the time come that I need to introduce him or visa versa...I'll let ya'll know how that turns out *grins*

Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 69
Posted: 9/5/2012 10:48:49 AM
Later in a night involving some alcohol I was introduced as "my ride-on dishwasher!!!!" LOL
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 70
Posted: 9/6/2012 1:55:13 PM
Later in a night involving some alcohol I was introduced as "my ride-on dishwasher!!!!" LOL

Make it a ride on washer and Id take that as a compliment.
Joined: 7/18/2012
Msg: 71
Posted: 9/6/2012 8:08:52 PM
The last man I dated, he was on the phone with his friend and referred to me as "his girl". When we went somewhere with his friend and that man's wife, they were all referring to me as his girlfriend.
This was only after a few dates/weeks.
I also met his parents, brother, aunt and uncle at various times in those few weeks.
He wanted exclusive right away too.

BUT, he was also on here 'window shopping' almost daily. {insert eyeroll here}

IDK - terms mean nothing, actions speak louder.
Posted: 9/10/2012 6:48:39 PM

And "This is _____________, the love of my life" is the best way to introduce a spouse or significant other. - 1388SmartBlond

I think that's very romantic. My husband calls me that, generally when we are alone, though. I used to be bugged by the term girlfriend, when my son & his ex has their daughter. Seriously, you live together, have a baby & they can't find a better word, just because they aren't married yet? I just referred to her as my daughter-in-law.
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 74
Posted: 9/10/2012 7:16:23 PM

This is _____________, the love of my life

I certainly think it is romantic but... I cannot help also thinking that it may be unrealistic. If two or three years later the same person introduces a new partner with that same line... it will sound rather hollow.

In the case of a spouse, I suppose it is more reasonable. In the case of an SO, there is a lot water that has to go under the bridge before a statement like that is on reasonably solid ground.
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 75
Posted: 9/10/2012 10:18:01 PM
My partner is 63, and is almost a senior citizen. No way am I going to refer to him as my "boyfriend". That would just be ludicrous. If I sound old, tough shit.
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