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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?      Home login  
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 private-pilot
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 1
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What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Say you meet someone the same sex as you and the two of you become really good friends. You click instantly and enjoy being in that persons family. After a while your intense friendship takes a turn. You start to feel sad when not with that person, you send them those stupid one word text messages (hi, :-), wink, ect) at random times of the day, and you realize you have found your soul mate and you are in love. AND this new friend/ soul mate feels the same way about you. Keep in mind, you have identified as 100% straight for your whole life. What would you do? Pursue this new love or not? Why?
 MightyOaks
Joined: 7/3/2012
Msg: 2
What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 8/31/2012 8:18:36 PM
We'll no straight man has those feelings barring sexual abuse or something else, which has altered their mental state. You are probably bi. There is no shame is perusing him if he makes you happy.
 tygerpawn
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 3
What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 8/31/2012 8:29:51 PM
so come out of the closet and date the dude, no straight guy would think of pursing someone of the same sex.
 brisco414
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 4
What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 8/31/2012 8:37:00 PM
Soul mate? Not really sure if there is such a thing. You've obviously transitioned into a dating arena not ventured before. There are some men and women that I know of who raised families and then left their marriages because of their new found sexual identity. It happens. If this gentlemen makes you happy and you the same for him, then no reason to hold back. Your happiness is what matters most. You might want to read some books or talk to a therapist as well. Good luck to you.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 5
What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 8/31/2012 8:37:17 PM
You've got a bridge to cross.

What do YOU want to do?

My opinion is just my opinion.
It matters not one way or another to you.
If you feel that this friend feels the same way, then it is time for you both to discuss it.
Then expect your world to change, as unfortunately others will get involved to tell you it is unacceptable.

Personally, it matters not who you love, as long as you love.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 6
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What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 8/31/2012 8:41:52 PM
Two of my closest friends found each other after decades of being straight. It was quite a shock for the both of them. Took both of them quite a while to come to terms with it, and move on to be together. In October, they will have been together for 12 years. It happens to some people.
 private-pilot
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 7
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What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 8/31/2012 8:50:31 PM
I appreciate all of the responses so far but know one has really answered the question. The question was a what would YOU do? Not a what should I do, or a what has happened to people you know, or a is it possible for a straight guy to fall in love with a guy................So again. What would YOU do if you found yourself in this situation? Pursue this new same sex love or not?
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 8
What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 8/31/2012 9:13:07 PM
If you've never been attracted to someone of the same sex, and never thought you would be, it's hard to envisage what you would do if you found yourself in that situation.

At least for me it is.
 MightyOaks
Joined: 7/3/2012
Msg: 9
What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 8/31/2012 9:14:21 PM
Not many of us can probably relate to or even comprehend what it would be like to feel this way. Any answer we give you will be biased. For me personally the thought of being intimate with another man grosses me out, so no I wouldn't. I question why you care what others would do? You are your own man.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 10
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What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 8/31/2012 9:18:50 PM
I know people that have incredibly close bonds with same sex friends that are stronger than any family or love relationship they have ever had. But they are friends and nothing more.
Does a soul mate have to be a lover? I do not think I could ever be attracted to another woman to the point that I would want to be in a physical relationship.
I can certainly imagine being tied to another human emotionally, but I cannot see myself at 49 just crossing over to the other team. I would be highly confused and probably want to go to a therapist to sort out my feelings. Can you be wrong about a basic need or desire your entire life?
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 11
What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 8/31/2012 9:32:18 PM
Op,if you're feeling PHYSICAL towards your friend,you may be bi and i would discuss it with your friend,instead of wondering about it......
Ive felt deeply towards a female friend before but it's never been any sort of a physical attraction because im into men. But,in your case,you need to get to the bottom of it (no pun intended!)
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 12
What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 8/31/2012 9:32:32 PM
I have had great guy friends that I'd die for. I love my own brother. I have some guy friends that I have told them the most intimate of things. I hug some of my guy friends. I even tell gay jokes to my own brother and friends. But with all that said. They, as well as me, prefer the female of the species. And as much as we may joke, caroje, the idea of going pass that is unthinkable. If however, you feel romantically inclined to another guy or person of your own sex, then by all means discover what that is. I prefer the squeeze, the romantic notion, and yes the banging of a woman.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 13
What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 8/31/2012 9:58:15 PM
Keep in mind, you have identified as 100% straight for your whole life. What would you do?


I can't relate to sending hi or wink as a text message as a turning point to falling in love with anyone.

If you think you are in love beyond the love you have for a close friend or a family member they you may want to start admitting to yourself that you have been in denial about being 100% straight your entire life.
 private-pilot
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 14
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What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 8/31/2012 10:14:03 PM
I appreciate all of the responses so far. Keep them rolling in but STICK TO THE ORIGINAL question. The question was a what would YOU do? Not a what should I do, a what has happened to people you know, or a is it possible for a straight girl/guy to fall in love with girl/ guy, ................So again. What would YOU do if you found yourself in this situation? Pursue this new same sex love or not? Why?
 justlookingvt
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 15
What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 8/31/2012 10:21:11 PM
There is a fallacy in your reasoning....


you have identified as 100% straight for your whole life.

If both are indeed 100% straight as you stated then, there will be no physical attraction.

Two guys that are 100% straight don't send winks to each other (or is this a "metrotexter" thing I am unaware of ?) ... Without physical attraction you simply have a friend you like (but certainly not in a physical way).

Without physical attraction, they may still be "soul mates" but _friend_ soul mates (think the same way, share the same values, enjoy the same activites, etc), certainly not romantic soul mates.

To answer the flip side of the fallacy....

If there is physical attraction then someone isn't 100% straight anymore.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 16
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What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 8/31/2012 11:37:03 PM
The soul mate term is just a way of saying you found someone that you get along with really well. Since I'm not homosexual if I found a really great woman I loved as a friend, I wouldn't be having any sexual attraction to her but I would have a really great friend. Why would I suddenly find myself sexually attracted to someone just because I really loved them as a friend? I don't get the crossover, I'm not going to suddenly be gay. If I did find I was sexually attracted to a woman, then I'd be bi-sexual and I think I probably would have known that already.

Let's say I was young and not so sure I was straight, I'd test the water. I'd see how I really felt while dating the other person. Since I don't have these questions in my head, and I'm old, I guess maybe I'd to far gone to have this fantasy. I do know that if I was bi or a lesbian, I'd go for it because I don't believe in pretending to be what I'm not, to fit in.

If you and this man are attracted to each other then most likely you are both gay and there's no reason why you shouldn't date and find out.
 Bezoa
Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 17
What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 8/31/2012 11:43:37 PM
I can't see what would stop me if all the feelings are right, and what not. I would have to feel sexually attracted to him though, and I'm not sure that's possible for a straight man. I don't really see how me missing him, and whatnot don't let us just be really close friends either. Some friends are always together without sucking each others dicks ya know.
 ShelbySask4friend1
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 18
What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 8/31/2012 11:50:42 PM
I would have sex with him, and then steal his soul, so I could double mine up , as our souls are a match, and you can always use more soul...Then I might call him a month later...


The Kinsey scale comes to mind.


How great was that movie...
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 19
What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 9/1/2012 12:11:45 AM
I'd pay for him to have a sex change.
 m8t
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 20
What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 9/1/2012 12:18:48 AM
I personally have never been attracted to women, but maybe I would be if I felt that way about a female.
I've experienced many things against my grain so it could be possible.
Go for it OP. What do you have to lose except never knowing.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 21
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What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 9/1/2012 5:08:02 AM
I would call it a close friendship. I have feelings of love for all my close female friends, and even some of the not so close ones. I have a very strong connection with a male gay friend that I also call love. I even think some of them are very physically beautiful. I just don't want to do them.

Not all love is sexual.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 22
What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 9/1/2012 5:20:43 AM
Buy some lube and get a LOT of condoms?????

I honestly don't know how I would react to the scenario you have stated. It's never happened to me,though the couple friends I do have are kinda close.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 23
What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 9/1/2012 6:27:02 AM
This is an impossible question to consider, since I cannot personally find myself attracted sexually to women.

The closest thing I can relate this to is finding someone that is in anyway outside my norm, and realizing over time that I've become both emotionally and physically attracted in ways I had not thought possible. Of course, I'd act on it.

Love is not something that I take for granted these days. Cherish it.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 24
What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 9/1/2012 6:48:31 AM
I would pursue it, but then, I am bi and I know it.

I do not believe in "soulmates," but I do believe in kindred spirits and not all of them turn out to be sex partners. I have spirit sisters whom I do not see for years at a time, but when we do, it is like no time has passed.
 Bluepage
Joined: 7/7/2012
Msg: 26
What if you found your soul mate was the same sex as you?
Posted: 9/1/2012 7:29:21 AM

STICK TO THE ORIGINAL question. The question was a what would YOU do?

Nine times out of ten, when people give advice and say what you should do, it's the same advice they would use on themselves. Just saying.

I'd just go with it. Love is love, whether it's target is a man or woman. If I were in that position and I never acted on my feelings, I would always be wondering what it would have been like, if I would have liked it or not, if it could have gone somewhere, etc. There's no point in denying yourself the chance to be happy.
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