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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Look different in person than photos      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 6
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Look different in person than photosPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
You need better pictures. Dress in pretty clothes that flatter your shape. Accentuate the positives. Men don't find baggy clothes enticing. Pay attention to hair and make-up, at least in some of them. Show a man what he would get if he took you out on a date.
 ScientificExperiment
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 9
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/1/2012 3:36:40 PM
I agree with some of the others. You look really nice in some of your pictures. No need to say your daughter is a gifted photographer. Makes it sound like a good picture was a lucky shot. You obviously do take care of yourself, and this is not meant to be derogatory, but you might want to ditch the pictures with all the grey showing. I am guessing you usually cover it up, so why not show yourself in the best light.
Good luck with your fishing and I am sure you will find someone to make you happy. :)
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 13
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/2/2012 7:49:51 AM

maybe even another paid for dating site like Match.


The same men are on sites where one pays--the OP should save her money.

OP, I sometimes read profiles where the men say that they look better in person, and maybe they do. I also know that people are a bit delusional and state they look younger, slimmer, etc., in real life and they don't.

First, as someone else said, your weight is not "Average" but "A Few Pounds Extra." For me, this is one of the biggest turn-offs that I see on profiles. I recently lost 15 pounds and changed my status, but I am still iffy about calling myself "Average." People are so gun-shy about pictures on POF, men might think that if you think you are "Average" in your posted pictures, you might be larger on meeting.

Second, if you don't "look" like your pictures, have some more taken. I am NOT photogenic, but I use a webcam and experiment with angles, etc. I can then choose the best of the lot. From experience, I also know that what I wear has a big influence--believe it or not, men pay attention to clothes.

Men have told me that I look better in real life than I do in my pics; I find this amusing because I think I look better in the pictures.

I agree with others you say that you should spiffy up your profile BUT pictures are the first point of entry to your profile. Men will not always read what you write, but they will look at the pictures.

And keep in mind, while you might not see the same woman in the mirror that you see in the pictures, others might. Every picture taken of you is what you looked like at that point in time, eh? So they do represent you.
 afixerupper
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 15
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Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/2/2012 8:32:41 AM
Don't be afraid to put BBW or A Few Pounds Extra, because TRUST ME... there are men specifically looking for that. I have been DQ'd (disqualified) because my thighs are not thick enough! Please, but to each his own. Just whatever body type you are, put it. There's someone looking for exactly that.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 17
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/2/2012 11:35:35 AM
Some of us aren't photogenic, others have are a natural & look great in every pic! On a dating site, unfortunately, they look at the pic & often decide right there if they want to get to know you. First impressions are everything.
Get a friend to take some updated pics of you. A friend that is truely a friend that you can trust that will not take a bad pic then say, oh this is so nice. A real friend who will take the time this project needs to get some good pics!
Your friend needs to be able to look at you thru the camera lens & coach you. Move your hands this way, stop standing so stiffly, change your stance, turn your head to the left, up or down. Get some full body shots, turn to the side & turn like someone is calling your name, in fact, have your friend call your name so it will look more natural when you look. Delete until you get one you like. That 1st pic that looks good will give yo more confidence & then it will become easier. Bring attention to your best feature. A good profile pic will draw them in when they see a nice lady with a pretty face. Do your make up, not too heavy, natural, & wear a favorite outfit you feel comfy in.
With some need direction, you'll see a difference in the responses you get on here. And remember, stomach in, t*ts out!
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 19
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/2/2012 11:58:35 AM
show a little flesh like cleevedge unless they are drop dead gorgeous. It works because most guys including myself like to see if a woman is sensual and sexy.

After I posted I went back to read the thread, please, don't listen to ths guy. A man should be interested in what's inside you, not your cleavage. Showing clevage will create the wrong impression. It will make you look desperate, cheap, degrade you & you'll have idiots contacting you for hookups & sex with no commitment, not a relationship. Better to keep it classy!
Another suggestion, gray hair makes you look many years older than you actually are. Contact your local beauty school, they work under teachers that are highly trained, & the students have many hours of training & already know what they're doing before they are put out on the floor. You'll feel better about yourself, & it's very inexpensive, $25 or less to get rid of that gray. You will feel so much better about yourself when you leave the salon! If you try it yourself at home, it's very messy, so many things can go wrong, & you'll only save about $15, you are worth more than that, treat yourself & take years off your appearance!
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 21
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Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/2/2012 12:40:38 PM
Time to be realistic OP.......

Take your profile to the review section and let them help you format one that is more interesting and inviting for those viewing it.

1. You need to find someone to take some flattering pictures that show you the best you can be, even in a normal setting or activity.

2. You are going to scare many off with putting down that you are a student at your age. You should be telling those looking that you are a professional, and self sufficient financially, along with what vocation you are involved in. Explaining your continuing education can be done in the information given section.

3. You need to either put BBW, or say prefer not to say for your weight, because you are more than a few pounds overweight, and many are, just not believing it, or seeing it in the mirror. That honesty will gain you much, and not make those viewing your pictures and profile thinking that you are not being realistic with yourself, and more than likely will not be with other things in your life.

4. I would take your age restrictions down, or put that you want to date someone 30 and older, allowing more within a 10 year span of yours to connect with you.

I hope that helps you, and that you do take your entire profile for a review as you get some new pictures to join your new way of saying who and what you are, and with whom you would like to share that with.

cd
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 23
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/2/2012 1:21:53 PM

The OP looks like the rest of us to me, which is average, real and usually different or better in person.


I suggest that you look at the profiles of all the people who have posted on this thread. I don't look like you and you don't look the OP and the OP doesn't look like ravenhair4u.

"Average" is not 20 or more pounds overweight, eh?
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 25
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/2/2012 4:09:50 PM

I was referring to overall appearance, not body size. I don't see Miss America in this forum thread, guess others see it differently.


I still don't see your point--we don't all look alike. Some posters are better looking than others. ~ Shrug~
 NYCmasterplumber
Joined: 8/17/2006
Msg: 28
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/2/2012 6:08:56 PM
As a male i must agree with Fleuron as your pictures are anything but flattering and the company you keep has a lot to be desired
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 30
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Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/2/2012 8:03:22 PM
We all are ugly. Most of all moi.

There problem solved.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 31
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/3/2012 3:52:10 AM

It seems unless one is thin, at least where I am no one wants to meet you anyway.


I have to disagree with this, and I do not think it is geographically based: it is all about presentation, and the first point of "entry" is our images.

I am overweight; I have been overweight during the entire time that I have been on dating sites. After losing 15 pounds, I recently changed my weight designation from "A Few Extra" to "Average," but I am still 10 pounds over and I will probably change it back.

When I was 15 pounds lighter and 15 pounds heavier than what I am at this moment, men always contacted me. It was my pictures that drew them in--sometimes they read what I wrote, and sometimes, they didn't. There are women in this thread who are saying that men are not contacting them because of their weight, but that isn't it: again, it is the presentation.

I won't post a "bad" picture of myself, and that means no candid shots where I am wearing unflattering clothes (i.e. when I just came in from gardening). Of course, I wear a dress and heels to Walmart because I LIKE to look good. There are no other people in my pictures because men are not concerned with my offspring or my friends. I don't have bad hair days but if I did, I would make sure my hair looks good in my pictures: hair is a huge draw for most men.

But my pictures look like me; I know this because of the men who have recognized me in public places from my POF pictures. I thought it was my hair, but even when it is drawn back, they still recognize me.

Obesity cannot be hidden; glamor shots can soften imperfections, but the reality is always apparent on meeting.


Maybe it is time that society teaches people that there is far more to a relationship than body weight, after all as we all get older we don't all retain our highschool shape.


I wouldn't date an obese man, so why should I expect a man to want to date me if I were obese? I wouldn't date a sloppy man, so if I am sloppy, why would I expect a well-dressed man to take notice of me?

Age is no excuse for being obese or not taking care of one's self.


or that women don't like them all while forgetting that they set their sights on someone under 100lbs


I have never met a man who said that he wanted to date a woman under 100 pounds!


And I agree….I don’t see Super Model Du Jour on this thread, either.


I don't see Super Model Du Jour downtown, either.

There are women with "average" looks who are going to attract more men than other women of average looks and even more than pretty women--it's about attitude, energy, confidence, and personality. I might be average, but I am also unique.

But pictures are still the attractant on dating sites.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 32
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/3/2012 4:56:24 AM
Keep trying with the pics. I'm incredibly unphotogenic myself and can never relax when there's a camera around. I finally just set up my web cam to take a pic every few seconds while I played a video game and picked the best from the lot (and I'm chewing on the inside of my lip in it... sigh). Maybe you could try something like this so that it's more natural.

Looks aren't everything but they are important. After all, would you go for a guy who you weren't attracted to? Due to the nature of the sight though, it's a lot worse than it is in real life. Here you can go from one profile to the next and if it's more interesting then the first is forgotten about.

Look on the bright side though, if you look "worse" in your pics here when you finally do get a meet they're going to be pleasantly surprised. I had a date this past weekend with someone from POF and when we got face to face he said my pics don't do me justice. He kept joking that if he knew I looked that much better he would have pushed for it to happen sooner.
 wackadoodledoo
Joined: 4/14/2011
Msg: 33
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Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/3/2012 8:39:24 AM
Photos, as we all know can be misleading. Sometimes one is more photogenic than another. Whether you are stunning, beautiful, average, handsome, or whatever other adjective one can think of, the point is, to make the best of what you have been given!! Sometimes it takes more work for some than others. !
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 35
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/3/2012 1:39:00 PM

“Average” as compared to a super model. I didn’t realize reading comprehension was so challenging.


Who compares herself to a "super" model? That "idealization" of beauty is not attractive to many women and many men. In fact, consider some of the heights and estimated weights considerations of "beautiful" stars:


Adriana Lima: Victoria’s Secret Model
Height 5’10″ – Weight 112 pounds
Height 1.77m – Weight 50.91 kg

Jessica Biel: Actress (started on “7th Heaven”)
Height 5’8″ – Weight 108 pounds
Height 1.72m – Weight 49.09 kg

Kate Beckinsale: Actress (movie “Underworld”)
Height 5’8″ – Weight 115 pounds
Height 1.72m – Weight 52.27 kg

Gabrielle Union: Actress (movie “Bring it On”)
Height 5’8″ – Weight 110 pounds
Height 1.72m – Weight 50.00 kg

Jessica Alba: Actress (movie “Into The Blue”)
Height 5’7″ – Weight 127 pounds
Height 1.70m – Weight 57.73 kg

Megan Fox: Actress (movie “Transformers”)
Height 5’6″ – Weight 114 pounds
Height 1.67m – Weight 51.82 kg

Roselyn Sanchez: Actress (TV show “Without a Trace”)
Height 5’7″ – Weight 130 pounds
Height 1.70m – Weight 59.09 kg

Eva Longoria: Actress (TV show “Desperate Housewives”)
Height 5’2″ – Weight 105 pounds
Height 1.57m – Weight 47.73 kg

Salma Hayek: Actress (movie “Desperado”)
Height 5’2″ – Weight 115 pounds
Height 1.57m – Weight 52.27 kg

Kelly Hu: Actress (movie “Scorpion King”)
Height 5’5″ – Weight 122 pounds
Height 1.65m – Weight 55.45 kg
http://fitnessblackbook.com/fitness-babes/the-height-and-weight-of-10-hot-female-celebrities-revealed/

Or how about this:

For anyone to become a top model they should have the average height of 5 feet 10 inches tall and they should weigh no more than 115 lbs.
http://www.blurtit.com/q838415.html

Really, 5' 10" and 112-115 pounds? My sister is 5' 10" and weighed 130ish for most of her life. She was skinny, and I mean skinny.

I am 5' 6" and when I weighed 145 pounds, people told that I looked haggard.

But we have gotten WAY off topic, eh?
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 39
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Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/4/2012 4:43:26 AM
Hm..nobody mentioned her kids? Especially the 13 years old..I think that is a "problem" for most.
I have a 12 years old, and quite often I received an answer to my email stating that her kids are grown, and she just want someone with older kids, living on their own, etc.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 40
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/4/2012 7:50:27 AM

Hey Gwendolyn...you just fell into the trap that a super model or beauty is predicated on thin. The following ladies are "Super Models" and range from size 14 - 16: Tara Lynn; Christina Mendez; Anansa Sims (daughter of Beverly Johnson); Natalie Laughlin; Kate Dillon; Fluvia Lucerda; and this other little known former model...Anna Nicole Smith (may she rest in peace). Jumping off topic again, but just wanted to share.


Actually, I am largely ignorant of modern media and a lot of modern culture, so I don't know the names of those models nor do I know anything about them--well, except for Anna Nicole Smith. I went to Google and typed in "average weight of supermodels" and went to the first two hits.

After reading your post, I typed in "large sized supermodels" and was impressed!

And I agreed with your earlier post about being average--if we were all lumped into the same category, even on a dating site thread, then all of us would have the same chances for dates. From what people post in this forum alone, this is clearly not the case.


Raquel Welch once said something to the effect that as she got older, at some point, she had to make the choice between her a$$ and her face.

She chose her face.


Zsa-Zsa Gabor said the same thing--just not in the same words. :)
 jaqi
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 42
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Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/4/2012 10:11:27 AM
angel I think that your profile looks very interesting and just really needs a little tweeking. I thought your photos were lovely to be honest, very natural and appear to show what you as a person are all about. I just love that in a mans profile, it's what gets me interested. But I am a woman and I know that men and women are totally different.

Yes I can see where others are coming from when they mention changing your photos but I would keep the natural ones like the gardening and the dirty run ones because they say what you are about and that you are the kind of woman to 'give it a go'

Looking at a couple they do scream 'mumsy' so I agree with some others that have said to get a nice photo of how you would look on a date. I guess it is all very well everyone saying you should do this and that, change your hairstyle, put make-up on, flash your cleavage etc but then would the prospective dater meet the real you? Only go down that path if you feel comfortable with it. I know from reading the forums that a lot of ladies don't ever wear any make-up so only do what you feel will come naturally to you.

If at the end of the day it means you don't attract a man on here, I really don't think you are missing out... you may find your soul mate at one of the events you participate in or at your local garden centre!
 wackadoodledoo
Joined: 4/14/2011
Msg: 48
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Look different in person than photos
Posted: 11/3/2012 3:13:13 PM
If you are a few extra pounds or BBW, you can still present yourself with an attractive profile. As we age, we have to work harder to look our best. By that I mean, dressing in clothing that are flattering to our aging figure, styling our hair in a current and becoming hairstyle. We sometimes get stuck and don;t make the effort to make ourselves look our very best. It take time, energy and work.
 justlookingvt
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 53
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 11/3/2012 4:45:22 PM


I have been told many times in the past that I look much better in person compared to my photos. What can I do about this?


Just a guess, it gives the impression that when you go meet someone you dress better than in the pictures you have posted in your profile. The good part about that is, you have better chances to make a good first impression. The downside is, of course, you may not get as many "bites" to meet someone.

Following that line of thinking, if a woman claims "a few extra pounds" and in reality, the guy she is meeting has reasonable grounds to feel "a few" was significantly understated then, the good impression is gone. To top that off, it is difficult not to feel deceived in those cases (even if there was no malice in the "few" statement.)

My philosophy is underpromise, overdeliver... following that, put a decent pic of you, understate everything... when the person meets you, you have a much better chance of making a good and lasting first impression. FWIW.

Lastly, I fully agree with Lily_Beyaz above... make some "corrections" to how you present yourself, without "overcorrecting" :-)
 chelseajkt1
Joined: 8/19/2010
Msg: 54
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Look different in person than photos
Posted: 11/3/2012 4:48:36 PM
What do you want anorexia? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. She is what she is. I'm sure most of the guys don't worry about it nearly this much and if they do it's not that important. I believe in comfort. I don't dress up to go to a store in a dress and heels. Just be yourself and be happy. If it's supposed to happen it will.
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 57
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 11/4/2012 8:04:16 AM

I believe in comfort. I don't dress up to go to a store in a dress and heels.


Please. Who puts on heels to go to the store? I've stopped in dressed up while in transit.
I'm sick of people who wave the "comfort" banner when, in reality, it's just an excuse for being slovenly.

T shirts and leggings/ sweat pants can actually be purchased in color. They are even available in orange in order to blend in with the trails of cheeto powder many "comfortable" people find smeared across their chest.

Geez. I was in the bank and saw a mature woman who was wearing black leggings and a t-shirt. The leggings had holes in the butt. Maybe they were starting to split at the seams. I hope she had underwear on. I couldn't bear to look any more. I felt sorry for her.

Please OP, take down all but the main pic. Don't add any back unless they look at least as good as that one.
 moon_breeze
Joined: 10/10/2012
Msg: 60
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 11/4/2012 3:59:52 PM
First, get better pictures. On a day you're looking your best, like going out somewhere nice (or just get dressed in flattering clothes/hair done/makeup), have a friend take a BUNCH of photos of you in a nice setting, in different poses, different angles, just do a photo shoot.

You can also bring a couple outfits to a professional photographer if you don't want to do your own photo shoot.

The next day you can go through and pick the ones the look the most like yourself, or the best. Every time you're out doing something fun, have people take your picture even if you ask a stranger. Then if the picture turns out well you can add it.
 Viperess
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 61
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 11/4/2012 4:23:52 PM
The way I see it is only DOGS like BONES, real MEN like MEAT !!! Give it up for the THICK girls !!! Oh, and I look EXACTLY like my photographs. ~Smirks~
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 63
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 11/4/2012 5:32:37 PM
viperess: the saying only dogs like bones is beyond stupid. sure, some men may like a meatier, or curvy gal, but there is a good reason most models are thin and fit. men who are attracted to thinner women arent any less of a man. sigh.

OP: i agree with abelian on this one. most women doctor up their pics on this site so much that when you do meet her in real life, you have no idea what shes really going to look like. with the galmour shots, up in the air cleavage shots, 4 year old pics, and obvious photoshopped pics, its a breath of fresh air to meet a girl who looks better in person.

change your body type on here. im sorry, but youre not average. all my single friends on here will quickly point out a bigger girl who says theyre average or athletic. its a misrepresentation. if a girl will lie about her body type on here, what else is a lie on their profile?

id say to take a pic with you all dressed up and add that to your line up. that way people can see that side of you as well.

one last thing, how important are looks to you? do you really want to put up only great pics just to have some guy to judge you based on those alone? again, i agree with abelian when he said that you should attract people with substance, not looks. that way, its YOU they like, not your cleavage.

best of luck to you!
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