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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > She still lives with ex-boyfriend.      Home login  
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 aceofhearts402
Joined: 7/10/2012
Msg: 1
She still lives with ex-boyfriend.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Hi everyone. I came back to POF in late July. There was someone whom I exchanged messages with POF . She lives in Omaha, and I live in Lincoln. She later closed her account, but she gave me her number beforehand. I wanted to meet her today, but she texted me today that she was busy cleaning her apartment this weekend. She was cleaning the place, because her roommate had a friend over from out of town and the place was a mess. She said her roommates is one of her best friends. She said that she has known him for three years. So at some point in the text conversation, I realized that her roommate is a guy.

I asked her if they are just friends or have they ever dated. She said that they are strictly friends now, but they do have a past. I told her that I just wanted to make sure that if I chase a woman who lives 50 miles away from me, that she really is single. She then said that she is single and has been. She texted me that if I am worried about it, it's cool. She is used to it. Which leads me to believe that if an attractive woman like her is still single, then that could be why. I was suspicious because if she is only friends with her ex-boyfriend, why is she still living with him after they broke up? Why doesn't she live with someone else? What are your thoughts on this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 2
She still lives with ex-boyfriend.
Posted: 9/1/2012 11:35:45 PM
shes also still sleeping with him too. thats just a guess.
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 3
She still lives with ex-boyfriend.
Posted: 9/2/2012 7:53:15 AM
I've encounter this a few times too. So not worth the hassle. Too much potential for drama & I don't care less about her reasons. Hard to consider anyone to be serious if they live with their ex. I've met a few that outright lied & were single only in their minds.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 5
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She still lives with ex-boyfriend.
Posted: 9/2/2012 9:40:19 AM
Tell her, "Wow! What a coincidence. It just so happens that my ex still lives with me to!" And watch how quickly she turns and runs from you.

Op, I'd definitely make a girl like that chase me instead and prove herself. If she cares at all, she's got to know how bad her situation looks from the outside looking in.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 6
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She still lives with ex-boyfriend.
Posted: 9/2/2012 11:43:39 AM
All of the responses are perfectly logical and yet she could actually be telling the truth. Some people wind up with roommates they clean up after because they'd be waiting for the icicles in hell for the person to clean up after himself/herself. Many people find out that they make better friends than partners and would never consider sleeping with the individual again.

What is stupid imo is really, you are spending the entire weekend cleaning up the apartment because what, you need to paint? It wouldn't necessarily be the situation that would totally freak me out but her indicating that she has zero time over a three day weekend unless you're in Canada doesn't really fly.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 7
She still lives with ex-boyfriend.
Posted: 9/2/2012 12:20:20 PM
That is a strange living arrangement. If they are just friends, then you should be able to call the house & visit her there anytime you want.
If I were a single woman, I'd live alone in a smaller apartment before I would live with an ex boyfriend, how can you ever expect to meet a decent man with that kind of living arrangement? Do they have each other for sex if neither is dating anyone? You have no way of knowing if they are sexually involved. Of course she is going to tell you they are not involved that way.
I wonder if the ex boyfriend has a girlfriend? I would continue dating others, this situation is not normal.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 8
She still lives with ex-boyfriend.
Posted: 9/2/2012 12:30:47 PM
shes also still sleeping with him too. thats just a guess.


Probably already saw the rock too, and is just seeing what she can get out of you before (or instead of) that occurrence.

Common occurrence; nothing out of the ordinary there.

I'd probably open a joint bank account and introduce her to the whole family, just to make sure you impress her.

rolls eyes

She is being upfront and honest with you in dislcosing the living arrangment. With the economy the way it is, it could be for financial reasons. It happens more times then not these days.If you feel a strong connection then why not be open minded while guarded at the same time?


Just like you would if you fall for a married lady whos husband has stuck beside her for thick or thin. Never mind morals, odds of disaster, or any of that fickle and annoying stuff.


Roomates share the work. GF's usually end up cleaning the apartment.


And dirty whores do the above AND go out cruising for marks,
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 9
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She still lives with ex-boyfriend.
Posted: 9/2/2012 12:47:08 PM

What is stupid imo is really, you are spending the entire weekend cleaning up the apartment because what, you need to paint? It wouldn't necessarily be the situation that would totally freak me out but her indicating that she has zero time over a three day weekend unless you're in Canada doesn't really fly.


Good point.
I lived in Omaha for three years and I use to make the drive to Lincoln for an evening of partying. It's just less than an hours drive. Can't have a simple meet and greet over a three day weekend because she needs to clean an apartment? Couple that with living with an Ex just sounds like to many complications.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 10
She still lives with ex-boyfriend.
Posted: 9/2/2012 4:04:29 PM
metalvixxn: lets be real here. the reason there is an issue when attractive people are single, is because no one cares what unattractive people do.

yeah, some people can just be friends. problem is, she used to be more than just friends with her ex (obviously) and she still lives with him. so the idea of people "just being friends" doesnt matter here, since they have already crossed that line. like another poster touched on, she will happily say that shes just friends with her ex now, and them sleeping together was a thing of the past. last week was the past, right?
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 11
She still lives with ex-boyfriend.
Posted: 9/3/2012 10:27:16 AM
Look at these dynamics:


She was cleaning the place, because her roommate had a friend over from out of town and the place was a mess.


Now, this woman does not want to meet with you, so she can clean up the mess that a guy who used to sleep with her and someone else made? Does that sound logical? I don't care how "mature" people like this call themselves, or how they say that you just have to be secured of yourself to have these type of relationships. Good, for those.

I am personally a rather selfish person. If the girl I am trying to form a relationship with lives with an ex, stay with the ex and I am out of there. What will happen is that you will always be entangled in their Drama, and you will always take a back seat or second choice in their actions.

And as it was demonstrated in your case, she would rather clean the place, that meet you. Since she does not see you as a priority, I would recommend you would find a woman who does.
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