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 tygerpawn
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 2
Virginity and dating sites?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
this is where guys have it so tough, for guys it depends on what you look like, if youre good lookin you can pretty much get away with saying anything in your profile, but if youre unattractive in any way and you dont have the personality women will avoid you
 Janet_Always
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 3
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/4/2012 5:08:45 AM
No reason to talk about your sex life (or lack, thereof) in profiles.

This might be a conversation after meeting -- and before bedtime.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 5
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/4/2012 10:25:44 AM
I think you should wait until you trust someone with that information, when it looks like things could progress.. otherwise, it's really no one's business.

You have Christians who have done EVERYTHING but intercourse and yet think they are still "technically" virgins.
God loves them more that way though.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 7
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/4/2012 10:47:44 AM
Well, truthfully none of us can answer that for you. You'll have to discover it for yourself.

My answer is no, it isn't overrated. Especially when it is with someone that you trust and care very deeply for.
 happy-go-lucky_
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 8
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Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/4/2012 2:24:16 PM
OP, I'll take you at your word in regard to your physical appearance. In this respect, an online dating service might actually be a blessing in disguise for you, but you'll still have to put in some work.

I think the best strategy in your case would be to put in some effort into establishing a strong emotional bond with a correspondent that interests you -- preferably even before you meet in person. I would recommend waiting until the woman takes the initiative and suggests meeting up. Make sure you're well groomed and dressed for your initial meet, but nothing too fancy. Keep the conversation light, casual and informal, and don't worry about archaic conventions such as holding doors open or pulling chairs out for her; just do whatever you feel comfortable doing.

No, you don't need to reveal the fact that you're a virgin to a date, and I would recommend not doing so until and unless the woman seems interested in you sexually, and furthermore, it looks as though sex is about to transpire -- you still aren't obligated to reveal this information, unless the situation at hand warrants your furnishing an explanation for your fumbling around and/or nervousness due to a lack of experience.


On the other hand is the actual act of sex overrated?
No, it isn't overrated, and not even your very first time, despite what some might be wont to say. The only way it can go awry is if you're completely overcome by nerves -- but that's true of pretty much every event of some significance, isn't it? -- such as a job interview or a driving test, for instance.



My answer is no, it isn't overrated. Especially when it is with someone that you trust and care very deeply for.
Oh, hogwash, and you know it. Just because you prefer your sexual experiences to be with someone you already "trust and care very deeply for," that doesn't hold true for everyone, and you know better than to pretend otherwise.

One can have an amazing sexual experience all alone, or with just about anybody that one is attracted to -- a potential or actual partner, a hooker picked up off the kerb ... a midget ... etc., etc. -- it's all good so long as it's consensual, and everyone is being responsible and taking appropriate precautions.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 9
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/4/2012 2:42:48 PM

Oh, hogwash, and you know it. Just because you prefer your sexual experiences to be with someone you already "trust and care very deeply for," that doesn't hold true for everyone, and you know better than to pretend otherwise.
Why wouldn't it be better with someone you trust and care very deeply for?

I'm sorry, but I don't understand using someone as a masturbatory tool to get off to. Excuse me for wanting some intimacy with my intimate acts.. I can only answer for myself after all. If you prefer your intimate acts to be with strangers and hookers and whatever else, fill your boots.

But I highly doubt that a man who has not had sexual intercourse with a woman in 44 years would prefer to lose his virginity to someone he doesn't trust or care deeply for
 Oncetwice57
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 12
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/4/2012 5:19:27 PM
Well...from what I hear if your an idiot you can talk sex all you want and it wont get you anywhere but a dead end unless your talking to someone thats looking for such right off the bat....I never do that myself because without conceit Ive never run into a woman that didnt appreciate the way I treat them....thats the last thing YOU need to worry bout unless your a self satisfaction idiot and dont care about the right treatment of a woman.While the physical can be the glue to a good relationship....theres plenty of small things to worry bout.....as in the general lifestyles of both and the way children if any would be treated.....time to learn each other also as many want to jump into a pool without water in it!.....think about it!
 specialiste
Joined: 7/28/2012
Msg: 13
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Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/4/2012 5:28:19 PM
go to massage and you can have a lot of sex with very pretty young girls
 15111958
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 14
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/4/2012 6:33:26 PM
go to massage and you can have a lot of sex with very pretty young girls


Where is this massage?
I was a virgin until I was 43. My first time ended up being a one time thing. I recently decided it was time I had another sexual experience so I ended up paying a young lady (24) to give it to me. Trouble is now I can't get it up when I'm with her. Still I enjoy eating her more anyway.

Life sucks that's all I can say.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 15
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/4/2012 9:44:01 PM

Look, i would willingly have sex with any woman who said yes. Anyone.
I stand corrected.

I suppose much depends on the reasoning behind the prolonged virginity.

If it's true that you would have sex with any woman, then I'm curious why you wouldn't have just paid for it with a hooker or escort by now.. ?

ForumsOnly:
You seem ignorant and naive about late in life virginity.
I've dated a 'late in life virgin' off and on for years, so I wouldn't say I'm ignorant or naive on the topic.

I'd rather focus on your silly view that virgins want to lose it to someone special. Complete hogwash.
The idea isn't/wasn't hogwash to the man I dated.

As I said, much depends on your reason for waiting. Those waiting for marriage or for spiritual reasons would likely understand what I had said earlier.
 HeartOn64
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 17
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/5/2012 2:57:13 AM
I would most definately want to know upfront from day one that I was dealing with a 44 year old virgin(put it in your profile as a warning or a challenge to women.)as I would consider that deal breaker /baggage I would want to have informed choice about dealing with.
Looks can NOT be the only reason it's taken this long for your to get laid.Sorry.There has to be some serious insecurity and lack of skill and experience interrelated to this problem.Are you simply asexual at heart or have you been masturbating for all this time?

And if you would have sex with anyone,I'm sure there was plenty of opportunities for that long before this age.

NO!!!!!!!!! Sex is not overrated in the least.You have already missed/wasted most of your life figuring you
were too ugly to dare expect someone to f*ck you.....how much longer are you going to hold out?

JUST DO IT! There are plenty of grossly unattractive men and women in the world having sex!

Why not you?
 Travalanche89
Joined: 1/25/2010
Msg: 19
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/5/2012 5:36:30 AM
Wow I lost my virginity at 20 and I thought I was old lol!
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 20
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/5/2012 6:37:52 AM
while I dont believe that your looks are keeping you from getting laid ...your opinion of the way you look just might be ..i have known very ugly people that get lots of sex ..as well I have known others who were rather nice looking who had no self esteem.. or confidence ..or thought they were ugly .or who were so shy that they could not approach any one ..in these cases even paying for sex might be the answer get it over with and maybe you can get past whatever is keeping you from getting laid ... I dont feel that i am very attractive ..but i know that personality /confidence trumps looks any day....I have never had any problem getting sex in my life ...so I promise your problem is behind your face not on it....I do feel that at 44 your wasting your life ... just do it already
 Hearts-Dominion
Joined: 6/16/2012
Msg: 21
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Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/5/2012 8:53:43 AM
I know a few guys who are still virgins in their late 30's/early 40's. They are all deeply religious. One actually said to me, after I asked if he kept his virginity for reasons other than religion, that "we are not dogs in heat".
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 22
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/5/2012 9:29:25 AM
ForumsOnly:
By late in life virgin, I primarily mean someone who is over age 25 and wants to be having premarital sex and it not. Someone who would gladly have sex with a mere girlfriend or even a one night stand and just hasn't yet.
At no point did you specify that 'late in life virgin' meant that they aren't waiting for marriage.. which I'm sorry, but a good number of them are.

Okay, sure, you could be an age 27 Evangelical Christian waiting for marriage, but this is a very different situation from Dare81. He isn't waiting for marriage. He simply wants to have sex. And at this point he would probably shag anyone who would let him, at least it would be sex. He's not saving sex for someone special or as some grand act of intimacy. Rather he simply wants to join the ranks of sexually active adults and have sex with whomever he'd be lucky enough to have him.
If the situation is so dire and desperate, as I asked the Op himself.. why has he not paid for it with a hooker/escort??

Regardless, that you would bring up waiting for marriage or for spiritual reasons in this thread is frankly profoundly offensive. The sort of virgins we are talking about here are just not like that.
Haha touchy much?

My first response in the thread was in answer to his question as to when to reveal the information. I suggested he wait until he feels he can trust someone with that information, otherwise it is no one's business.

Then he asked if sex is overrated? And I answered from my own map of the world, that's all any of us can do. I fail to see how that is offensive
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 24
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/5/2012 12:39:02 PM
I never said you were religious, it got off topic because people were asking for clarification on how I responded. Anyway, if you are so desperate to have sex and don't care who it's with, I don't understand why you have not paid an escort or hooker to do away with your virginity... you have yet to answer that question.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 27
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/5/2012 9:37:30 PM
ForumsOnly:
As for paying an escort, equally insensitive.
And yet, as you can see in the post above this one.. the Op admits that he just hasn't gotten up the courage yet. Nor did I suggest it, I merely asked why he hadn't yet considering that he mentioned he would be willing to have sex with any woman.

Perhaps some more sympathy to his situation and less attention to your small minded views of human sexuality might be helpful.
You're the only one complaining.. perhaps a little less projection in your responses would be prudent.

Hey Op, I hope you find what you need soon :)
 Serephena
Joined: 9/2/2012
Msg: 29
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/6/2012 2:59:27 AM
I would not disclose that you are a virgin, unless you want guys to contact you who are just wanting to bust that cherry. None of their business until you are at that point in a relationship.
 sportsfan856
Joined: 7/11/2012
Msg: 32
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/10/2012 9:12:31 AM
dude just start talking to all the ugliest/fattest women on pof. I promise you one of these losers will have sex with you. buy them dinner be nice you will get laid. i was 17 when i lost it and for my group of friends that was really old. I did this chubby girl in HS, after that i had confidence to go after any. best of luck my friend.
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 33
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/10/2012 9:43:36 AM
uhhh?? so sportsfan865 why are you urself going after the ugly fat losers on here..ohh thats right just to get laid even though you have a hot girlfriend an have a problem keeping your penis up..


i can't lie I am attracted to bigger girls. Message me I'll tell you anything! Looking for a nice girl. Looks really don't matter to me. Like i said hit me up if you want to know more.
 Jesterman
Joined: 7/24/2006
Msg: 34
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Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/10/2012 11:27:57 AM
Hi Dare81
Sometimes it is best to be honest about your "status" (i.e. virginity). As a matter of fact, be it male or female, it can be a turn on to "take" someones virginity. But remember you can only be a virgin once... no turning back. If you've kept your virginity for 44 years, maybe it's worth keeping it longer?
If you want to lose your virginity, I'd say to really evaluate your position. If it's that important and it is cheesy to get an escort, try the numbers game. To do this you have to be assertive.. period! Force yourself to go out and meet women, be it online or in a brick and mortar "house" like a bar, library or supermarket etc. Check this out...... If you go up to 100 women and simply asked them to have sex with you, statistics say that 7% of them will actually do it! Now... that's a crude way to do it, but I wanted to get the point across. If you think you look ugly, don't let that hold you back... Looks are subjective! Wouldn't that be terrible if you want to have sex, but your lack of healthy self esteem held you back? If you are ugly, so what! It's oddness and uniqueness (and even ugliness) that give people character.
 DiamondMan32
Joined: 7/18/2012
Msg: 35
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 9/19/2012 8:12:39 AM
Dude you are 44 and never dated a woman or had sex with her? I am shocked.

I thought I was the only one. Welcome to the club though I am 12 years younger than you.

And like Dare, I don't have a nerve to go to an escort agency either.
 Space_Weaver
Joined: 10/8/2012
Msg: 36
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 11/24/2012 12:24:04 AM
Oh Virginity!!! A lot of people say there is nothing wrong with it, which is somewhat untrue because they lie to make you feel good.. For a woman to say they are a virgin can be summed up as a personal choice; however for men being a virgin you may be regarded as too ugly for sex, mentally unstable, or gay. There is a lop sided standard here. I myself am pushing 40 and am still a virgin; not because of religious conviction, personal choice, saving for marriage etc. I've tried, its just the way the ball bounces. I've said on occasion after I have felt comfortable with someone and things were going well that I am a virgin and poof, no more dates or contact. So my advice is to not tell them that you are a virgin ever, and if you do wynde up having sex and they never see you again after, just chalk it up as having bad sex, but you got your foot in the door to experience. It is quite a shame that one has to basically lie by omitting this fact, because people don't understand.
 BlaineV
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 37
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 11/24/2012 12:40:50 PM

Looks can NOT be the only reason it's taken this long for your to get laid.Sorry.There has to be some serious insecurity and lack of skill and experience interrelated to this problem


lol typical female response. I doubt if anyone is a virgin by choice. How do you know that he's not insecure BECAUSE of the way he looks? Contrary to what you may believe, there is a lot more pressure on men when it comes to sexual activity. And actually, most of the women in this board have pretty much proven that point by stating that it would be a deal breaker. Men are always expected to make the first move when it comes to sexual advances. But if every woman thinks like you do and rejects someone based on the way he looks, then it can be pretty damaging to his confidence; so much so that he might never want to hit on another woman again, and thus become a 44-year-old virgin.
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 38
Virginity and dating sites?
Posted: 11/24/2012 1:15:00 PM
BlaineV



Looks can NOT be the only reason it's taken this long for your to get laid.Sorry.There has to be some serious insecurity and lack of skill and experience interrelated to this problem


lol typical female response. I doubt if anyone is a virgin by choice. How do you know that he's not insecure BECAUSE of the way he looks?


I agree with her to a certain degree there seems to be it does come down to the insecurity an or lack of skills mentally an verbally communication wise an knowing an approach physically when it comes to people an everyday interaction whether it be friendship or more..

however @BlaineV you said you doubt if anyone is a virgin by choice..

excuse me but there are some people in this world men an women who have choose to BY their own choice to save them self for their >own personal reasons< whether it be about religion an or marriage or something eles..

then you said how do you know he's not insecure because of the way he looks..

didnt she just say that
There has to be some serious insecurity


which means that individual is personally insecure about themselves by the way they look...
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