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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > They all start out nice      Home login  
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 4
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They all start out nicePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I know you expressed this as "for no good reason" out of your frustration and pain, but that doesn't lead to answers to what actually happens in such situations.

Yes, I have had more than one relationship go from sweetness and love, to plotting negative acts, lies, and treating me as a criminal and worse. How things got that way were different in each case, but the causes were interactive.

Part of it was that I chose a mate badly. The women appeared normal enough, but had inner drives, misconceptions and turmoils that led to them choosing ME, for the wrong reasons, relative to me. That is, though I didn't realize it at the time, they chose me because they thought I would allow them to get things they wanted, because I was solicitous and affectionate, and not demanding. In many cases, the women had deep seated resentments against others, men in particular, which they thought I was not representative of to begin with. But as time passed, their basic prejudice came out (as it always will), such that when I DID do anything wrong, they attributed it to the fact that I was a male, and or was "just like all the others after all."

So quite literally, they went from being adoring of me because they thought I was better than all those other guys, to despising me for BEING a guy. It sounds as though you've run into a bit of the same thing, possibly. Your guy honored you at first, perhaps thinking "I've finally found a woman who ISN'T all those horrible things that the women I've been with before were!" Then after a while, as they relaxed and let their guard down, their essential misogyny came to the forefront where you could see it first hand. When you reacted negatively to it, instead of that being a wake-up call to them, to make them see that they needed to rethink their negativity about women in general, because even the one they loves was "like that," they instead concluded that YOU had been hiding YOUR "defects" from them all along, and were to be despised for it.
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 15
They all start out nice
Posted: 9/14/2012 1:20:52 PM

So my question is, How many of you have had a realtionship go sour for no good reason ?

There's always a reason.

Whether you see that reason is "good" or "bad" depends on who is the one being dumped.
Joined: 7/16/2012
Msg: 17
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They all start out nice
Posted: 9/16/2012 9:28:48 AM
I had a guy like that. You were a smart to get out of it. Thank God for your dog!! I went through hell! Never again. Good luck to you
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > They all start out nice