Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > In a relationship is cooking yummy food important      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 2
In a relationship is cooking yummy food importantPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Lordy, lordy...if you have such strong opinions about food, you sure as hell better learn to cook for yourself.

If you don't cook, you eat what is put in front of you. Then you do the dishes.

The exception to this rule of course is being fabulously wealthy and hiring staff to do such things for you. They might even tolerate you being rude and critical if you pay them enough.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 7
view profile
History
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/13/2012 4:37:28 AM
Haha, you are posting on the internet, with a billion recipes out there with a one click search. There's no reason you shouldn't be able to cook, even if you can't do it "by feel" like us that have been doing it forever.

People that can cook usually don't care if who they're dating can cook, because they generally think they can make anything better than their prospective date would be able to make, going in. It still helps to be able to cook, no matter what, though - since it only adds to you being a well rounded individual. Being able to surprise a man or a woman coming over by being able to create meals better than most restaurants is just another net positive that adds up in your favor.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 8
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/13/2012 5:25:50 AM
Admittedly, my guy is very limited in his cooking skills - he eats lots of spaghetti and French Bread Pizza when he's home. LOL

I spoil him rotten and cook him wonderful meals often at my place. I also bake him pies and cakes, all from scratch. I take great pride in my cooking and he definitely benefits from it. :-)
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 9
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/13/2012 6:38:41 AM
The simple solution is to learn to cook and bake. Heck, my son cooks well (as we taught him) -- and he's eleven years old.

What's your excuse not to improve your cooking skills with a vast collection of recipes, How-to's, and classes you can take for FREE, on-line. Or, if going out to eat is your thing, find ways to make extra money to support your tastes.

I don't understand why you feel that somebody in your relationship should be in the position of being your personal chef.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 14
view profile
History
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/13/2012 9:18:21 AM

Aw Zane,

Please do not be a hater.

Haters are always going to hate. Trying to make someone else feel bad is the only way they can inflate their self-esteem. I wouldn't worry too much about it.

OP- I would recommend that you try a cooking class. Not only will you learn some basics but you may meet someone there. ;)
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 15
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/13/2012 9:21:14 AM
Love to cook, I would actualy rather not go out to eat. I love food with lots of colors and it has to have a rainbow of flavors. A huge spice collection is at arm reach. Good fresh herbs can make anything so much better. I spend more time dnrolling at pots and pans then spend time at the power tools section. Now I do own 4 huge tool boxes full of tools, so I know my way around them as well.
Sandwhiches and breakfast are my favroit to make. A while ago a group of us went for a few days of wilderness survival and just bumming in the woods. On the second day we collected some wood grub the size of my thumb. Cooked it over a fire with some of my own spice mix. They come out great nice and spicy with a crunch... Now thats good cooking.
Knowing how to cook and feed your self is one of the most basic skills to have. If you don't have it then learn.
Cooking with someone is so much fun as well. I do belive it brings people closer togher.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 18
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/13/2012 7:35:04 PM
i wouldnt know since ive never dated a woman who could really cook. i can cook a few things well, mostly things that i like, but thats about it. ive never seriously been with a woman who could say that much.
 irish_smackie
Joined: 3/13/2012
Msg: 23
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/13/2012 8:36:36 PM
Cooking with an enthusiastic, fun partner is the best date ever, even when they can't really cook. So much better than a restaurant!
 ShelbySask4friend1
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 25
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/13/2012 11:53:16 PM
I love creating culinary masterpieces, cooking and meal preparations, having a partner that will put in the EFFORT is all I ask...Not having experience, is a small obstacle, it is strictly the effort...In past relationships it seemed I always found the lazy chef, one night I would spend a decent EFFORT, into making quality food, which sometimes take TIME...The next night my partner made something in 15 minutes, there is a difference...The next week I made a lasagna from scratch with many ingredients,(the pasta I actually made to the day before,lol) which my partner at the time loved and replied she would 'cook' one next week...When the time rolled around she was very proud of herself, that she had purchased a ready made lasagna and had put it on a baking sheet, and thought these ideals were very much the same...
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 28
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/14/2012 5:22:01 AM
First things first.


One of the things I miss the most about being in a relationship is cooking together.


Cooking AND the tasting!!!! And the desserts. Yeahhhhhh, it's the desserts that I miss the mostest!!!!


Now, OP, at 55 how have you never learnt the art of cooking?????? Honestly. How?????? Funny thing about my Mom was that she really didn't cook a lot of fancy dancy meals,but having 8 children kinda put a damper on any experimentation in the kitchen. BUT, she did make sure that none of us didn't know how to cook,bake or make a meal for OURselves. I know I was under 10 years old when I was capable to stir up a lunch or two for my younger siblings.

I look back now,and thank her. If for one reason, I have met more and more PEOPLE(not just women) that don't know how to boil water on the stove top.And some people wonder why we,as a society,are grossly overweight??????? I don't.
 Just_Bob_4_U
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 29
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/14/2012 2:15:14 PM
OK, now I have a question. Are women more interested in guys who can find their way around a kitchen without having to constantly use a can opener? I know I can cook and am pretty good at it. I love being able to make a nice meal for my partner. What I don't appreciate is when I get run out of the kitchen.
 mark777771
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 30
view profile
History
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/14/2012 3:48:54 PM
Sounds like the only thing you're good at making is a reservation
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 31
view profile
History
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/14/2012 4:03:55 PM
I think we have lost the point--OP is missing good food and the services his SO provided more than he misses her...

Can you show me where you have gotten that impression from the OP's posts? I must be missing something. The only thing I have seen is that he hasn't learned how to cook for himself and was wondering if dating a good cook was important to others. Certainly, nothing that would give cause to attack the man as if he were a chauvinist or someone who was
looking for a Mommy
. While your suggestions that he check out local groups for good food is excellent, perhaps we should give the man the benefit of a doubt instead of assuming that he used his SO for the things she did for him.
 Dare to
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 32
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/14/2012 4:18:23 PM

Can you show me where you have gotten that impression from the OP's posts? I must be missing something.
Yeah i agree... I think someone is jumping to conclusions.. The man said he went out and worked long hours and his wife did the domestic duties... The result being that after she died he is now unable to cook for himself.. Sounds like they had a system worked out that worked for THEM!

Just cause he's not bleating about how much he misses his wife, doesn't mean he doesn't miss her...
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 33
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/14/2012 4:28:47 PM
It is NOT flattering nor attractive to a woman to be looked at as the next cook and maid. Or as my lovely mother used to say, as to why she stopped dating after my Dad died--"At my age, all they are looking for is a nurse and a purse!"

I suppose some take offense to inferences regarding cooking/cleaning. I however, do not. (And I'm much too young to be in the "nurse and a purse" category.) Personally? I'm happiest at home, in the kitchen or cleaning and all the stuff that goes along with making a house a home. I too own my own business ~ and one of the reasons I've staved off Corporate America for the past 15+ years is that I like the freedom which comes with being able to set my own schedule in order to be a combination stay-at-home Mom/spouse and para-professional. I am not the least bit offended when my SO asks what I'm making for dinner (or lunch for that matter) nor am I offended or bothered that he makes it clear that the inside "stuff" is my stuff and the outside stuff is his to deal with. Maybe I'm a bit perfectionist, and like to know that things at home are being done my way, or it could just be that I get no greater satisfaction than taking care of my "family" as I think they should be taken care of (and my way isn't the way I think ALL people should be, I only know what works for me.) I have a wonderful professional life, but it doesn't give me half the personal satisfaction I get from the "job" I do at home.

~OP~ There's nothing wrong with you wanting someone who will cook for you. However, if that's what you'd like ~ I hope you realize that you need to do things for her. I don't think it's a "keeping score" situation ("I do this so you should do that.") thing ~ rather it's two people doing niceties for one another equally. I don't know how you'd meet/find someone who's not opposed to cooking, but maybe you might wish to do a little research regarding "traditional gender role" relationships. There's a slew of information out there and it couldn't hurt for you to get an idea of the trade-offs that may be necessary for a relationship of that nature. JMO
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 35
view profile
History
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/14/2012 4:41:31 PM
I know in some cultures this is crucial but in general, and voicing my opinion, I wouldn’t say that cooking yummy food is necessary to be in a happy and healthy relationship. I would never judge someone based on that, no matter where I live and what cultural background I have.

If the man I am already attracted to was good at cooking by chance and he was a good dancer to the type of music I’m into that would maybe raise my attraction to him even more but ultimately those are not a priority or even important at all.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 40
view profile
History
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/14/2012 11:10:33 PM
Msg.1:
If you want gourmet food, learn to be a good cook.... You can't relay on someone to sustain a relationship with you,by pleasing you on high cost steaks ,roasts,yummy cakes,ect.ect.... And slaving in the kitchen to appease your stomach...


I think it's important because i love my food but I am not a real good cook,i mean i am pretty lousy.


If I meet a man like you I'll pass, even though I have passion for cooking, I am not bragging ,for I love to eat what I cooked and so others...
In relationship what is important ----*commitment, *respect to each other *,honesty,last but not least liking each other. I did not say LOVE because love is underrated....
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 41
view profile
History
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/15/2012 12:13:20 AM

I think it's important because i love my food but I am not a real good cook,i mean i am pretty lousy.

Like the previous poster, I loooove to cook and I will brag how great of a cook I am. But, yes, I'd pass on you big time. If food is so important to you why don't you hire a cook? What has food anything to do with a relationship?
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 42
view profile
History
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/15/2012 6:51:09 AM

If food is so important to you why don't you hire a cook?


Perhaps you missed reading the OP's second post, (message 6) in which he stated
i have a deal with a retired lady she cooks me 4 meals a week i freeze them and my standing order is roast and vegies, shepards pie and vege, rissols and vegie, and spagetti bol.
He essentially HAS hired a cook.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 43
view profile
History
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/15/2012 2:28:34 PM
I've never understood the difficulty of cooking, or of learning to cook. I suspect there are plenty of educational programs out there to get even older men and women familiar with the kitchen.
I enjoy cooking. To me it is akin to what I use to do in the lab. The bane, and yet joy, of my cooking is that I never cooked anything the same way twice. I always tweaked things - mood, moment, whim, probably phase of the moon, it mattered not. There were a few times I made mental notes not to do THAT again.
My biggest challenge now is learning how to cook smaller: son is off to university. I made lasagna last night and I had to freeze six meals worth. No complaints but there is only so much freezer space, eh?

Some have made mention of the variety and convenience of prepared meals and what not available in our convenience stores. My one comment about that is to be aware of the higher salt content and various additives added to those conveniences. I for one prefer what comes out of my kitchen over store bought. On those nights I want something cool and lighter (?) it is very easy to prepare a large (!) salad with bagged lettuce, olives, mushrooms, fruits (dried), etc, a home made dressing (my honey mustard is a delight), and with or without a meat.

Every once in a while something decadent (read comfort food) is welcome: fishstick sandwiches or wraps, canned soup, rotisserie chicken from Costco, etc.

TK
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 44
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/15/2012 6:46:54 PM
AddHomonym- To the OP, you should take the advice of Add, he's got it pegged. What is stopping you from learning how to cook?! It sounds like you are looking for a live in cook rather than a true partner in life :(
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 45
view profile
History
In a relationship is cooking yummy food important
Posted: 9/16/2012 1:39:51 AM

Perhaps you missed reading the OP's second post, (message 6) in which he stated
“i have a deal with a retired lady she cooks me 4 meals a week i freeze them and my standing order is roast and vegies, shepards pie and vege, rissols and vegie, and spagetti bol.”
He essentially HAS hired a cook.


Thanks for bringing that to my attention. I understand it’s not about having access to good food but that it is important to him it comes from the partner and tied into the relationship. My opinion stands that he enjoys the food he is already getting from the retired lady and focuses on the relationship regardless of her skills in cooking. If the retired lady still wants to cook for him when he is in a relationship he can enjoy his food but if she doesn’t anymore he can hire a cook. Maybe his new partner would enjoy good food just as he does. If good food is important to someone there are ways of getting it. The relationship is not dependent on cooking skills.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > In a relationship is cooking yummy food important