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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Soulmates... Finder's keepers, or build it yourself kit?      Home login  
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 afixerupper
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 1
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Soulmates... Finder's keepers, or build it yourself kit?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Just wondering if the people on here who state in their profiles they are looking for their soulmates are actually looking for someone already nearly perfectly suited to them in their present state, or are the looking for someone still flexible in their ways, with enough common ground and a willingness to meet in the middle when it counts?
 coyotefeller
Joined: 11/12/2011
Msg: 2
Soulmates... Finder's keepers, or build it yourself kit?
Posted: 9/15/2012 7:32:46 PM
That is so funny ! lol
Soulmate build it yourself kit! lol
Could market that and make some money maybe !
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 3
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Soulmates... Finder's keepers, or build it yourself kit?
Posted: 9/15/2012 7:52:02 PM
I think the core of what anyone means by the various terms like soul mate, or the more generic "compatible match," is that they yearn for someone they don't feel exhausted by the work to get along with them. That's all.

I know that's what I want, is as close to a pure positive relationship as I can get. I know I've done the "work non-stop, trying to build-your-own" deal already, and that has been a relative disaster.

So I guess it's more like my similar desire to find a full-size pitcher to add to my Wedgwood Tea set, that would look great full of iced tea in the summer, but not require me to take out a second mortgage on my house to acquire it.
 NCnavetG8r
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 4
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Soulmates... Finder's keepers, or build it yourself kit?
Posted: 9/15/2012 8:00:18 PM

How about Prince Charming?


He's busy banging Snow White at the moment. Call back later.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 5
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Soulmates... Finder's keepers, or build it yourself kit?
Posted: 9/15/2012 8:38:45 PM
I don't believe in soulmates, but I want someone who is already compatible, I'm not going to make someone change who they are, to suit me.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 6
Soulmates... Finder's keepers, or build it yourself kit?
Posted: 9/15/2012 10:49:54 PM
When I hear "soul mate" or "The One" I interpret that as a fantasy product that comes pre-assembled and perfect. Made to the consumer's exacting specifications and has telepathy as a built-in feature on all models. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back.

My hope is to meet someone that is already compatible for the most part. A relationship is something that should add value to our lives, something that brightens the days we spend here on earth. That way, the work that comes hand in hand with human relationships won't seem like a burden and when the inevitable big problems do come up, I won't feel like my plate is already full.

Along with this general compatibility, there would have to be a similar dedication to personal growth and lifelong learning. The rest is negotiable.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 7
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Soulmates... Finder's keepers, or build it yourself kit?
Posted: 9/16/2012 4:33:33 AM
I don't believe in the soulmate idea of the general public... its nonsense.
Each soul is in itself a whole...
and a soul has no place for another human being. It is a space of self, your spirituality and
where you meet and merge with your higher powers.

also, two half souls do not make a whole...

and no one is gonna make you happy, some of these responses are just immature and downright creepy as to expecations. True happiness comes from within. A partner will not fill your soul, cure lonliness or make you happy.
 wackadoodledoo
Joined: 4/14/2011
Msg: 8
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Soulmates... Finder's keepers, or build it yourself kit?
Posted: 9/16/2012 5:16:08 AM
The term soulmate makes me want to vomit. It has been so overused that it has become meaningless. What does it really mean, anyway?
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 9
Soulmates... Finder's keepers, or build it yourself kit?
Posted: 9/16/2012 5:04:58 PM
I think it's interesting that your user name is fixer upper....ugh.

People come into relationships as they are, I know you're thinking theoretically about "meeting in the middle", but it doesn't work in reality. Relationships involve negotiation, and people will make small changes, "we'll visit my parents on Easter and your parents on Thanksgiving".....stuff like that. But a major renovation will only cause resentment which will be the beginning of the end. People get offended, whether they admit it or not, when their "significant other" wants them to change some basic trait. It's a core element of a successful relationship that both people accept each other just as they ARE.

I think the whole soul mate idea is a romanticized ideal and belongs in novels and movies, not real life.

OP, I don't know what your relationship experience is, but trust me, it's worth it to wait to find someone you CAN accept and who can accept you. But if you DO decide to go with the fixer upper route, when you ask them to change something about themselves, be prepared to do the same. Trust me, it won't last and it won't be happy.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 10
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Soulmates... Finder's keepers, or build it yourself kit?
Posted: 9/16/2012 6:28:06 PM
A resounding +1 to the Swiss lady.

That's exactly what I'm experiencing.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 11
Soulmates... Finder's keepers, or build it yourself kit?
Posted: 9/16/2012 6:48:28 PM
What makes the whole "soulmate" business a joke is the first criteria for picking who you message or don't message is primarily based on physical appearance-either from a person's profile pictures or seeing a person in real life. If a person isn't physically attractive to the "soul searcher", there will be no further contact. How many people pursue someone they are not physically attracted to? The person's "soul"-sometimes called inner beauty-does not come into play when initially picking a partner. People want a partner who has both physical and inner beauty, but must have physical beauty first. A lot of relationships and marriages falter because one or both partners let their physical beauty go to hell, thinking their appearance doesn't matter anymore, since they snagged a partner.
 smokincigars
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 12
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Soulmates... Finder's keepers, or build it yourself kit?
Posted: 9/16/2012 7:51:18 PM
Have you ever known a perfectly compatible couple? I haven't, although I can think of several who came close. A few minor "rough edges" can enrich a relationship if both parties are willing to seriously consider the other person's point of view, habits, opinions, likes and dislikes.

Besides, all people are works in progress from birth to death. We grow mentally and emotionally by trying new things, and often we try those new things because someone else encourages us to do so, or because we want to share another person's interests. As long as two people agree on the things that are most important to them -- and only they can recognize what these things are, in their own lives and each others' -- they can work around most smaller matters.
 candicebrea
Joined: 7/17/2007
Msg: 13
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Soulmates... Finder's keepers, or build it yourself kit?
Posted: 9/16/2012 8:21:56 PM
Msg 7
You couldn't have said it better. I so agree with your posting.
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