Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Dating after 45...      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Dating after 45...Page 1 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

What is wrong with a coffee first meeting?

You sound like a princess who wants a man to pay for everything and then support you and keep you in the manner you would like.

I have no sympathy.
Whatever happened to you paying your half or even paying fot thr man?

Now there is a concept.

Standing ovation by me!!...You too Pinky..
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 5
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/19/2012 4:49:25 AM

I would like to find a great guy, honest, faithful, funny and humble. Do they exist???


Of course they do. But, those guys are usually not that dumb,,,anymore. So like you, they will have some form of expectation from you. I just read your profile and well, you are asking for MORE than a "great guy,honest,faithful and humble", aren't you???????? With your list, and at our ages, you are eliminating a lot of potentials,so YOU have to understand that this guy you are wishing for, will NOT fall from the sky onto your lap. Ain't gonna happen.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/19/2012 5:46:15 AM
I suppose one might find the kind of man you are looking for, but I doubt that it will happen through the approach you specify. For me, family implies parents, children, uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews and nieces, and all of that kind of thing comes about when one is young and bonding to have children. If you are lucky, it evolves over the years into something like you are wishing for. Myself, I really doubt that post-45 this kind of relationship is available, although you may be able to find someone who wants to be with you for the rest of your life.

From the sounds of your profile, I would suggest you get involved seriously with a church. Internet dating isn't very likely to do it for you in the sense you appear to want.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 7
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/19/2012 5:51:29 AM

I would like to find a great guy, honest, faithful, funny and humble.


Don't we all! LOL
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 8
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/19/2012 6:04:45 AM
So your definition of a good man is someone with money that you can sponge off. Good luck with that...

The reason they invite you someplace cheap is that they understand online dating. The aren't going to drop $100 on dinner with someone they don't know if they'll want to see again.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/19/2012 7:03:21 AM

The aren't going to drop $100 on dinner with someone they don't know if they'll want to see again.


You can take a woman out for only $100???? Where is that?
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 11
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/19/2012 7:14:33 AM
You can take a woman out for only $100???? Where is that?


I'll turn that around and ask where you go that you routinely spend over $100 on dinner for two. Around here, that would be considered pretty lavish.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/19/2012 7:20:26 AM
Montreal. Almost anywhere that is not McD's, BK, or one of the other chains.

Of course, here half the bill is usually the wine....:) French culture, you know.....
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 13
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/19/2012 7:25:28 AM
I will make it a point to stay far away from Montreal.

When I was in Toronto on business, I had yogurt and a cup of coffee for breakfast. It was $17. The guy I was travelling with had a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee, they tried to charge him $28 for the buffet. I won't be going there again.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 14
view profile
History
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/19/2012 7:33:35 AM
I travel to Toronto for work lots Pad so I know of what you speak.Can't wait to get biz done and leave! lol...


First meet to me, should never be a long drawn out lavish dinner at the man's expense for tons of reasons as have been explained here. To call a man cheap because he asks you out for a coffee "meet" is rather harsh? And OP, to me there is a difference. First time meeting someone is just that, a meet. Should you wish to see each other again, then it is a date...not rocket science
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/19/2012 8:18:14 AM

I will make it a point to stay far away from Montreal.[


Well, I can only conclude you don't find a city overflowing with beautiful women and an excellent selection of fine wines to be the kind of place you would enjoy. Yes, its a tad more expensive, but the cost of quality is always higher. You definitely get what you pay for, whether its fine food, fine wine, or fine women.......
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/19/2012 8:19:15 AM
Seek what you offer, and offer what you seek......the rest just happens!

If the men you are trying to date seem to be stingy, in your mind, why not set the tone for what you want and enjoy by inviting them out to dinner, or an activity, and you pay for it all, smiling all the way and setting the example of who you are and what you enjoy and expect from the men in you life? Equality should be a given, and one must show equality in order to hopefully get it in return.

Somehow OP, I bet the men you have been dating are saying the same thing about you.....a player that just wants me to pay for everything.....go figure!! Time to set the stage, and play the part, and watch them share as you do!!

Dating is a tough time, unless one steps back, and enjoys the experience, adventure, and outcomes, and even if it does not end quite like you had hoped for, the fact that you had some interest shown to you, and hopefully returned means that you are alive and well, and that is the biggest gift of all.

cd
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 19
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/19/2012 8:48:46 AM

When I was in Toronto on business, I had yogurt and a cup of coffee for breakfast. It was $17. The guy I was travelling with had a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee, they tried to charge him $28 for the buffet.


That is pretty outrageous.

My most expensive dinner ever was Christmas dinner at Hotel Schloss Mönchstein in Salzburg, before the 12 course dinner they had children from Salzburg sing Christmas carols while we sipped hot spiced apple cider on a terrace. Later we joined another couple for midnight mass at a church Mozart that held first composition for Christmas, it was all quite memorable.

It would be easy to spend $100 on dinner in Chicago, but it would be lavish to do so especially someone that wasn't in a long term relationship.

I would never spend that type of money on someone I didn't know well.

A coffee meet, walking biking, seems appropriate for someone you have never met and only known for a short time via MSGs. Often I met for a beer / wine at Dave & Buster's or for a movie if I had talked to her more often before meeting. It's different if we are a great distance apart and have communicated extensively before meeting.

The OP should consider a church sponsored group for single / divorced singles. I attended a few at instance of a friend, they are a pleasant God fearing group of people.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/19/2012 9:28:03 AM

I think you should rewrite your profile - it's too negative.

why in the world would you advise someone not to show who they are?
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 23
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/19/2012 10:43:00 AM
Well, I can only conclude you don't find a city overflowing with beautiful women and an excellent selection of fine wines to be the kind of place you would enjoy. Yes, its a tad more expensive, but the cost of quality is always higher. You definitely get what you pay for, whether its fine food, fine wine, or fine women.......


A city overflowing with people is not my kind of place, regardless of their gender or how attractive they may be. Big cities make me claustrophobic. Besides, if I were to find myself in Montreal, it would be for a short visit. I wouldn't be there looking to hook up.

It has been my experience that places where the "beautiful people" hang are 99% hype. And the "beautiful people" tend to be arrogant snobs who don't look nearly as fine as they think they do.
 NCnavetG8r
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 26
view profile
History
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/19/2012 11:34:28 AM

why in the world would you advise someone not to show who they are?


The man's got a point. Personally, I like it when women show their "man hater" side in the profile. No matter how beautiful they are, if they are damaged so badly from a previous relationship, you don't stand a chance. Negative profiles are neon billboards saying "I'm not emotionally ready for a relationship".
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/19/2012 12:38:22 PM
It may not necessarily be who she is.

tone tells. few people are even aware of it, let alone capable of manipulating it, making it the most consistently authentic aspect of profiles.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 34
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/19/2012 5:19:26 PM
Well OP, what do you offer a great guy?
As we can be picky.
:-P
 Sniper308
Joined: 10/21/2004
Msg: 36
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/19/2012 8:04:13 PM
I would like to find a good man, really a good man, but all i meet are players. Tired of dating already...
And some are stingy, they invite you for coffee or something cheap. I would like to find a great guy, honest, faithful, funny and humble. Do they exist???


Ma'am: What responsibility do you accept for your situation? All you meet are players? Maybe it's you. With regard to "meeting" for coffee... good GRIEF, ma'am, just how much do you expect a man to spring on you for a FIRST MEETING? What if he hates your guts? Should he have to blow $60 or $80 to find that out the FIRST TIME HE MEETS YOU?! Just how much money is enough for you to NOT gripe about how men are "stingy" and "cheap" on a first meeting? How much money would it take for a man to spend to put THIS particular gripe of yours to rest permanently? Seriously! HOW MUCH OF AN INVESTMENT OF A MAN'S INCOME IS ENOUGH TO KEEP HIM FROM BEING "CHEAP" WHEN MEETING YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME?! THROW A FIGURE OUT THERE!

You know, ma'am... I try. I try hard not to color "you women" with the same brush. I try to think there are "great ones" (to paraphrase your own comment) out there... that they "exist," as you say... but ALL TOO BLOODY OFTEN, I read these "cheap" comments, and it's pretty hard to believe you're all not thinking the same thing about men, their wallets, first meetings, et cetera.

My God. It's a first meeting. It's coffee. If all you want is a good time, maybe some guy will just mail you a gift certificate to a jewelry store or some place. Frankly, it's women like you who make tours in combat zones appealing.
 carmench
Joined: 8/30/2011
Msg: 40
view profile
History
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/23/2012 7:11:39 PM
I agree with being careful about your spending. With things being so expensive, who can blame someone for being a little careful about where their money goes. And sometimes, spending alot of money on a first date does not always equate to that person being an ok person with good values etc. Just a thought . . .
 1964armymom
Joined: 7/18/2012
Msg: 42
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/24/2012 2:42:30 PM
I want a first meet to be something casual, low key, and easy. That way there is no pressure.
Sometimes they are only a half hour, others have ended up chatting for hours over coffee or drinks. Whenever I go out, I take my own money and offer to pay. Some men appreciate that, others insist on paying.
THEN, (if we both want) we may go out on a real date and the man chooses to pay for dinner or a movie, etc. Or if a man takes me out several times, I may offer to cook dinner for him. I'm old fashioned to a degree with dating, and I do 'like' when the man plans a date (and pays), but I don't expect it. Especially not from a man I hardly know yet.

Several of the men I have talked to or gone out with, especially if they have been on here for awhile, have gotten tired of (feel used by) the 1st meet dinner dates. A few have mentioned women that seem to expect the man to spend big money right off the bat. :/ A guy friend of mine uses the tactic of 'cheap' dates at the beginning progressing to nicer (and more expensive) ones as a relationship develops. I think that is the way to go.
 Sniper308
Joined: 10/21/2004
Msg: 43
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/24/2012 4:25:02 PM

A guy friend of mine uses the tactic of 'cheap' dates at the beginning progressing to nicer (and more expensive) ones as a relationship develops. I think that is the way to go.


I agree completely.
 SASSYCANCER67
Joined: 5/20/2010
Msg: 45
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/24/2012 9:55:52 PM
I agree....men and woman are init for fun these days and it doesnt have to be sexual either ....lifes to short to wonder and ponder ...put a smile on your dial or on there's.

Sassy.
 SASSYCANCER67
Joined: 5/20/2010
Msg: 46
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/24/2012 9:59:09 PM
I am a modern day liberated woman.....preferring men to men in the bed room haha.

Sassy.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 47
Dating after 45...
Posted: 9/25/2012 5:41:58 AM

They may exist but not on a dating site I would say. A guy with all that can get women in real life and is too busy to bother with cyberspace. You are looking in the wrong place that is all.


So what are you saying here? There are no people on dating sites? I assume that would include yourself. Well gosh darn it. I have been misinformed.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Dating after 45...