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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > scared of getting into a relationship :-(      Home login  
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 3
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scared of getting into a relationship :-(Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
It's wrong to do anything that you don't actually think you want to do, or that you blame someone else for.

Accept that you personally, have chosen to have a series of one-night-stands, to please your own lusts and ego. When it pleases you instead, to go after a real relationship, with all the inherent risks and rewards, then go do it.

Do NOT change your ways, simply because you fear that others will think badly of you; that's a version of lying, which always results in an ultimately unsatisfying, faked life.
Joined: 10/29/2008
Msg: 10
scared of getting into a relationship :-(
Posted: 9/24/2012 11:30:22 AM
If I were you, I'd be more scared about getting an STD from your multiple one night stands.
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 11
scared of getting into a relationship :-(
Posted: 9/24/2012 11:37:02 AM
after that i have only been involved in one night stands and stuff

scares the shit out of me ... is this wrong that iam doing all this shit

Suggest using Google-image on all of those..

Yes, I would say most all of what you are doing/showing here is wrong...
Joined: 7/16/2012
Msg: 14
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scared of getting into a relationship :-(
Posted: 9/24/2012 12:44:09 PM
As the other posters, or some of them have said, go back and see what might of went wrong. And just take care of yourself. After a break up we all need to have a warm fuzzy friend to talk to, just to purge it.
Don't ever give up on love..Never, ever...It will come.
This is a good time to become a better person!
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 16
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scared of getting into a relationship :-(
Posted: 9/24/2012 9:58:16 PM
Seems to me like you are afraid of being completely single as well as afraid of being in a relationship. Who are you really afraid of? Yourself? Your reactions? Why would you have one night stands when you don't SEEM to be happy having them? No chance of losing your cool?
If another relationship scares the shit out of you, why do you give so much power to such a thing? Relationships have good and bad, some we can tolerate, some things we can't and we break it off. It should not be the end of the world nor should it scare the shit out of you for future relationships. Your future relationship will NOT be the same as your past one. It's actually impossible. So why the fear? Unless of course, you fear youself.

That you CAN do something about.

If you are afraid then, it must be because you do not like how you deal with the downs in life. You do not like the way YOU feel about certain situations or how you handle them. Change YOU and how YOU feel.

Are you able to change how you view things instead of trying to deal with a broken heart? No matter how upset you are?...I think you can, if you find out more info about yourself.

B.T.W. : your ex probably did not want to break your heart, she just put her gig in front of your feelings. Maybe a shitty thing to do but you could choose to see it as a "good to know this can happen and that I'd reacted/felt this way", so I could do things/see things/react different if something like this ever happens again.

So, instead of closing doors in front of you or risk hurting an innocent person who might think you are emotionally available, you really ought to take a break from dating altogether, until you are capable of self control. ( if what I'm saying rings true). Good luck.
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 19
scared of getting into a relationship :-(
Posted: 9/25/2012 2:36:32 PM
It's okay to have a one-night stand or any other type of interaction as long as you're being upfront about it with the other person. If that's what they want, then it's a go.......otherwise, you're probably causing not just her but YOURSELF more pain AND disappointment because you're proving to yourself just how scared you are.

From your OP you sound disappointed, that a series of one night stands isn't making you happy, so only you can change that. It's fine not to date or see any women other than possibly just as friends (if you can honestly do that platonically) to see that you can successfully interact with women without trying to have the goal of having sex involved. I've known men who can accomplish this and it's caused them to appreciate women more and helped them to be a better partner when they did get involved again.

Only you control your own behavior, don't hesitate to seek out help if you feel you need it. I don't think everyone necessarily needs a therapist, there are counselors, pastors, others who are objective and can give good insight and work with you on a path to greater success in your romantic relationships.

Hope that helps!
Joined: 9/16/2012
Msg: 23
scared of getting into a relationship :-(
Posted: 9/27/2012 4:41:45 AM
Man the **** up.
Joined: 9/17/2012
Msg: 25
scared of getting into a relationship :-(
Posted: 9/27/2012 2:43:18 PM
your using the "one night stands" like a heroin addict uses heroin. Get over your ex and yourself and feel your feelings like a big boy.
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