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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How to set up a date/ meeting?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 4
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History
How to set up a date/ meeting?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Email 1; Introduction
Email 2: Small talk
Email 3: slightly more detailed talk
Email 4; You seem pretty cool - here's my number, give me a call or text if you want to meet for a coffee or a drink sometime soon. I'm free (insert date range here). Take care.

Done.
 H0wAboutIt
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 8
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 9/24/2012 9:13:45 PM


Okay so I finally have been getting responses and conversations seem to go pretty steady, but how do I go about setting up a date and getting contact info? I dont want to seem to quick or desperate, but I feel like there is only so much you can talk about online and I would really like to cut to the chase. Keep in mind I am 22 years old so all the girls that I would want to meet are in that age range. thanks.


Once her responses start to become lengthier and you feel the conversation is finally taking off - end it! tell her "let's grab coffee and talk more about (insert subject here) - give me you number." works like a charm for me ;-) this is called being a challenge. Keep your average email exchange before asking for the number a maximum of three days..

You want to avoid a lengthy phone call and lengthy email exchange as there will not be much reason to want to get to the date if she knows everything about you and vice versa. I'm normally bored and will probably not ask her out if the emails have exhausted everything. Most guys make the mistake of talking too much and thusly their flaws are exposed and she's ready to move on and so are you.

Lastly, wait to call. Most guys call within two or three days. Wait longer. You'll stand out as you're not the only one who probably has her number. This will indicate how high her interest is actually in you and show that you are not desperate. If this happens because you had enough sense to wait:
"Sasha: Hello
Brandon: Hey, this is Brandon.
Sasha: From where?"

then tell her you had the wrong number and hang up - a woman who is really into wouldn't be asking that question - move on.
 H0wAboutIt
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 9
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 9/24/2012 9:17:50 PM
P.S. - You want to take the LEAD (it's more attractive) do NOT willingly give her your phone number. You ask for hers, tell her it was great emailing and YOU will CALL in a few days when you're free.

If she says she doesn't give her number out, she isn't all that into you as most women do not call a guy first. It's a ploy to brush you off. At best, you are at her mercy and in anticipation of a phone call which puts you on the defense..not the offense.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 10
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History
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 9/24/2012 9:19:47 PM

most people on here are hesitant about meeting. meeting a stranger and probably not much in common.

That's not rue at all. Most people here actually want to meet, provided there is a spark and the feeling is mutual.


if no meet up within a few days of talking than it will never happen. females on here love engaging in pathetic childish mind games, they say one thing but mean the exact opposite. now or never. they will either want you now or it will never happen.

I can vouch the same for the opposite sex.
 runner_83
Joined: 6/1/2012
Msg: 11
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 9/24/2012 9:21:00 PM
How do the rest of you guys turn someone who is seeking a date into an IE? I know if you email those seeking IE you will be blocked from emailing other women who aren't. But how do you turn those who are looking for dating into having an IE? I know there are loads of women pretending to only want dating but are looking for a ONS by picking up buzz words on their profiles like "I like having fun".
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 13
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How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 9/25/2012 3:37:47 PM

You can also be creative, like one girl we we're both geeks so I asked if she had ever been to this place in Montreal that's a geek lounge, since she's new here, and she said no, what's it like etc... So I wrote back with a brief description and then said "a good place for a first date ;)" and it worked, we're going to meet there soon as I get over my cold :S
I love this.
1. It shows you spend some time getting to know each other enough to know what she might like.
2. It's original.
3. There is none of that awkward number exchange talk.
This is exactly how I'd want it to be. Hope you're feeling better. Have fun at your date. :)
 KratosSpawn
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 15
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 9/25/2012 6:17:27 PM
Give her your number and allow her to choose what she wants to do with you. If she hits you, that's a solid choose and you can move onto scheduling something if you like how she is sounding on the phone.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 16
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 9/27/2012 10:11:17 AM
OP. I just ask, and say,do you want to meet for a drink,,it's that simple for me,, I don not have time to play with emails for days or weeks,, a call on the phone I like to do as well,, I give the woman my number,, and suggest she block hers,, just so she feels safe..
 KratosSpawn
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 18
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 9/27/2012 5:15:45 PM
Give them your number and offer them the chance to decide what they will do with the option. Then if they call or text, get a date set up.
 Asarat11
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 20
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 12/12/2012 8:18:19 AM

How do the rest of you guys turn someone who is seeking a date into an IE? I know if you email those seeking IE you will be blocked from emailing other women who aren't. But how do you turn those who are looking for dating into having an IE? I know there are loads of women pretending to only want dating but are looking for a ONS by picking up buzz words on their profiles like "I like having fun".


How does "I like having fun" translate into "I wanna f*ck?" Most clueless sh*t I think I've ever read.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 21
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 12/12/2012 3:37:11 PM

How does "I like having fun" translate into "I wanna f*ck?" Most clueless sh*t I think I've ever read.


Now I know what the expression "fun, fun until daddy takes the tbird away" really means. How about that song, "All I want to do is have some fun...Going down the Santa Monica Boulevard."


I wouldn't mind funning Cheryl Crow.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 22
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 12/12/2012 4:08:21 PM
If the emails flow back and forth pretty smoothly
for a few days....
You could mention someplace with live music....
like a bar, club, or outdoor concert you are
gonna be at.
Probably best not to set a "date" first time.

Any public place that has music or fun that she may enjoy...
would work. A sporting event or youth hangout at a beach
or park would work as well.
Don't balk if she wants to bring her chick friends.
(Women are cautious meeting strangers, so humor her.)

Just mention you will be enjoying yourself at
such-n-such place and say you'd think she would
enjoy it as well.

That does not stick your neck out(much)
or hers.
If she is alittle interested, she will probably go.
If she is....send her your number if you haven't already.

Call and text her some before the meet-up just
for chit chat.(and to flirt with her)
It is the pre-meetup chit-chat that gets
a girl pumped and makes it a success.

good luck.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 23
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 12/12/2012 6:30:49 PM
if you feel the email has been going on long enough...odds are 50/50 she agrees. go ahead and say, gee, seems like things are hitting off well, would you like to meet face to face for coffee sometime?

a quickie meet is nice b/c there's no pressure. nothing like a dead silence when you first meet someone...at the beginning of a dinner-and-movie planned date. how do you extradite yourself? but if its a coffeemeet in a public place, you can always say sorry not feeling it and you both have the rest of the day/evening to go do whatever else.

chances are, tho, if someone here is returning your emails, they find something about you interesting. and if they want to just stay penpals, well...what's wrong with that? you can both talk about the wingnuts you may end up getting emails from :)
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 24
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 12/12/2012 7:23:33 PM
look, emailing a girl for weeks on end without asking for a date is really annoying. you don't need to message her back and forth for more than a few times before asking to first talk on the phone and then meeting for coffee or something. you definitely want to meet someone before you get to emotionally invested. you need to see if there is any chemistry between you and you can only assess this if you meet in person. just don't be that guy that emails the girls for two months before asking if you can call her or asking her out. get to the point...don't drag your feet! Also, DO NOT, i repeat DO NOT message her YOUR number then sit around and wait for her to call. When a guy just doles out his number it is a real turn off to most women. it says: "well, you can call if you want to...i guess." It does not say: "I am really into you and I want to hear your voice." Guys who are players send out form messages to women all the time with lines like, "hey...if you want to talk sometime...give me a call...blah blah..." It's almost insulting to a woman, so don't do it! EVER! Also, if you really want to talk to her than ask for her number rather than sitting around waiting, hoping, and wishing she'd call.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 25
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 12/12/2012 7:27:03 PM
1. Exchange about 3-5 emails each way.
2. Have a phone conversation ( optional )
3. Then ask her out.

Even if you don't have a phone conversation, I think it's a good idea to exchange numbers in case one person is late due to traffic, getting lost, earlier committments ending later than expected etc
 msright78
Joined: 12/11/2012
Msg: 26
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 12/16/2012 9:06:06 AM
Doesn't matter. If ur interested in someone and want to meet them then be forward and blunt.

Some ppl on here aren't looking to meet anyone. They can string u along or could be lying.

It doesn't make u seem desperate if ur forward. It weeds out all the bad ones.

Talk to many girls, ask them for numbers and see who obliges and who doesn't. Don't have ur hopes up on one person as they might disappoint. Keep ur options open.

And within 2 weeks of constantly talking to the person over the phone, meet them. And don't fall into texting. IF they only text, move on. It should be a mixture of both or one more than the other!

Good luck
 trh1268
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 28
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History
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 12/18/2012 8:56:50 AM
week#1 - talk to her on instant messaging.
week #2 - talk to her on the phone.
week #3 - go out on 3 dates to see if there is chemistry and deep kissing.
 ChellyBaili
Joined: 9/9/2013
Msg: 29
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 9/22/2013 9:44:15 AM
Text messages are the kiss of death. AND THEY GUY TXTS A LOT ABOUT NOTHING TO DO WITH A FIRST DATE.

Especially if that is all they want to to do.
 ChellyBaili
Joined: 9/9/2013
Msg: 30
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 9/22/2013 9:46:01 AM
Someone mentioned to webcam or skype first and this is the BEST since actually meeting takes time and an outfit especially when getting a lot of messages.

If a man will not CALL me or SKYPE me before meeting first then I'm not going to meet up with him at all.
 ICtheLite
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 31
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History
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 9/22/2013 11:12:07 AM

I don't want to seem to quick or desperate, but I feel like there is only so much you can talk about online and I would really like to cut to the chase.


Zero effort to get to know her before the date/meet will probably equal about the same amount of enthusiasm on her part to meet you. If you want to make a good impression, talk to her on the phone a few times before you meet and ask her out then, not in a message. Otherwise, you just look like the last yahoo that wanted a quick look before she'd even opened her mouth.
 KratosSpawn
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 32
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 9/22/2013 11:03:29 PM
Get the convo flowing a bit, then send the contact information out. It's real simple. You want to get her to meet you in the flesh & if she is interested she will make that happen. If not, well...at least you can stop wasting your time on someone who is not with you agenda.
 Steam_Engenius
Joined: 8/20/2013
Msg: 33
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 9/22/2013 11:27:20 PM
A few good messages with good communication and reciprocation, then send your phone number their way and ask to talk.
Keep the conversation light and don't give out too much info; you can do more of that for the meet and greet. This will help in keeping the awkward pauses away, and they can judge you in person rather than over a phone conversation. End the conversation by asking them out with a firm time, date, and place of mutual choosing.
 13thour
Joined: 9/6/2013
Msg: 34
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 9/23/2013 4:08:46 AM

You want to take the LEAD (it's more attractive) do NOT willingly give her your phone number. You ask for hers, tell her it was great emailing and YOU will CALL in a few days when you're free.

If she says she doesn't give her number out, she isn't all that into you as most women do not call a guy first. It's a ploy to brush you off. At best, you are at her mercy and in anticipation of a phone call which puts you on the defense..not the offense.


I started out liking this post but then it went haywire. It is good for me when the guy takes the lead and asks that we talk on the phone. I appreciate the men very much who give me their number so I can call them privately if it makes me more comfortable. This happens more often than not and I am grateful. So, I will call a guy FIRST after he gives me his number.

Personally, I abhor talking on this thing for too long. I prefer a few e-mails and then let's meet. I find it more often than not the man breaks off the meet before we ever get there.
 35brock
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 35
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 9/25/2013 6:38:27 AM

1. Exchange about 3-5 emails each way.
2. Have a phone conversation ( optional )
3. Then ask her out.

Even if you don't have a phone conversation, I think it's a good idea to exchange numbers in case one person is late due to traffic, getting lost, earlier committments ending later than expected etc


I agree.
 GreenSparty117
Joined: 11/13/2013
Msg: 36
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 12/10/2013 1:06:17 AM
Bro, NEVER, EVER and I repeat, NEVER, EVER give a girl your number.

WTF? You should ask a girl for her number instead. By giving a girl your number, you submit control over to her and you're stuck waiting for her to text or call you which most likely won't happen. Firstly, girls on these sites get hundreds of messages every day so they probably won't have time for you. Secondly, girls very rarely initiate first conversation either over this website or the first text unless she's really desperate or quick.

By asking for her number, you maintain control. When you get it, she's the one who has to wait for your call or text. If a girl turns down your request for her number, she has no interest in you. Plain and simple. Don't buy the whole "I'm not comfortable meeting up with you crap". 99% of women on here are more than willing to meet if the spark is great or intriguing. If it's lukewarm, they'll just fluke out. At this point, don't hang around and become their messaging buddy. Move on to the next woman.

Again, NEVER, EVER give a girl your number.
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