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 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 1
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?

http://theeconomiccollapseblog.com/archives/why-does-our-society-look-down-on-unemployed-men-so-much

If you are unemployed for an extended period of time, people are going to look at you differently. Unfortunately, this is especially true if you are a man. In our society, men are primarily defined by "what they do". If you have been unemployed for a long period of time, that can make social interactions even more awkward than normal. Most people will instantly become more uncomfortable around you when they find out that you are unemployed. Many will look at you with pity, and others will actually look at you with disdain. Women will not want to date you, and if you are in a relationship unemployment will put a tremendous amount of strain on it. Once you "don't have a job", you will not get the same level of respect from former co-workers, friends, members of your own family and possibly even your own wife. So why does our society look down on unemployed men so much? Well, it is generally expected that men are supposed to be the "breadwinners" for their families. If a woman stays home with the kids nobody has any problems with that, but if men do the same thing it tends to raise eyebrows. But there is a big problem. Our economy is not producing enough jobs for everyone. In fact, there are millions upon millions more workers than there are jobs. It would be great if this was just a temporary situation, but as I have written about previously, there will never be enough jobs in America ever again. So there will continually be millions upon millions of men that are looked down upon by society because they can't get jobs, and as a result we are going to have millions upon millions of men that are constantly battling against soul-crushing despair.

It can be really hard to "feel like a man" when you aren't making any money.

And most women simply are not interested in becoming romantically involved with an unemployed man. Just check out what one recent survey found....


Of the 925 single women surveyed, 75 percent said they'd have a problem with dating someone without a job. Only 4 percent of respondents asked whether they would go out with an unemployed man answered "of course."

"Not having a job will definitely make it harder for men to date someone they don't already know," Irene LaCota, a spokesperson for It's Just Lunch, said in a press release. "This is the rare area, compared to other topics we've done surveys on, where women's old-fashioned beliefs about sex roles seem to apply."


Those are some pretty overwhelming numbers.

So is it the same way when the roles are reversed?

Not even close.

When men were asked the same question, the difference was absolutely shocking....


On the other hand, the prospect of dating an unemployed woman was not a problem for nearly two-thirds of men. In fact, 19 percent of men said they had no reservations and 46 percent of men said they were positive they would date an unemployed woman.


Admittedly, men are often thinking about other things when they are evaluating whether they want to date a women or not. Yes, there are some men these days that are concerned about how much money a woman makes, but the truth is that men tend to be much less concerned about income levels than women are.

In fact, a UK study that was released last year discovered that British women are even more concerned about the education and income of a potential mate than they were back in the 1940s.

So if you are unemployed you are probably not going to find much success in the romance department either.

If you are married, being unemployed is likely to put a huge strain on your marriage. The following is a short excerpt from a recent Business Insider article entitled "TRUE CONFESSION: I'm Sick Of My Unemployed Husband"....


I can’t even remember when my husband stopped working.

And frankly, I don’t have time to think about it, between my full-time job and my fledgling business, volunteering at an after-school program to help teenagers prepare for the professional world and mothering two children.

But when I do think about it–when I think about all the times I come home to see evidence of his entire day’s activities cluttering the coffee table, or when I have to take our shared car to work and strand him at home because he doesn’t feel like getting up to drive me–I’m angry.


If a husband is unemployed for an extended period of time, there is a very good chance that the wife is going to start feeling very resentful.

If things get bad enough, many women will pull the plug on their marriages and will get rid of their "unproductive" husbands.

Last year, Time Magazine reported on a study that indicated that unemployed men were significantly more likely to get divorced than employed men were.

My goal in writing this is not to "bash women". I am just pointing out how hard things are for unemployed men in our society. Many wives (and their extended families) simply do not understand that our economy has fundamentally changed. In the old days just about any hard working man that wanted a job could go out and get one. That is most definitely NOT the case today.

Hopefully we can get more women to understand this. I know that it can be hard to be patient when your husband is unemployed for month after month after month.

But at a time when husbands need their support the most, many wives withdraw emotionally and become very angry.

For example, how many women have you ever heard declare how proud they are of their unemployed husbands?

Of course there are definitely situations where these roles are reversed and employed husbands are badgering their unemployed wives about getting a job, but in general our society tends to have a greater degree of tolerance for unemployed women than it does for unemployed men.

(More at the link)
 RERE1026
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 2
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History
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 9/30/2012 5:36:31 PM
Well said! You summed it up quite nicely.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 3
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 9/30/2012 5:47:01 PM
Most women that you'll find on these sites, or in those surveys, were raised during a time when job security existed, when a good worker was someone that an employer fought to keep. It was a time where if you weren't working, you were the problem, and you needed to fix it.

We forget how different working was 10 years ago.

Now, you'll get fired so your company doesn't have to pay for benefits for you, you'll get fired because a manager has a friend they want to work there. The POV towards unemployed men will change, but it's going to be younger generations that see unemployment as a natural cycle in the working world. Or hopefully, before that, we get labor laws that actually protect us as workers.

It depends. Not everyone looks down on unemployed men, but someone who got lucky and didn't have to see the reality of working and how fragile having a job is, is obviously going to see you as being completely at fault for you not working. And when it comes to firing someone for a BS reason, guys are the easiest target since we have so little room to make any harassment claims or anything.

But it doesn't matter... Anyone who wouldn't date you because you're unemployed isn't worth your time.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 4
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 9/30/2012 6:01:44 PM
Disclaimer here, I'm gainfully employed myself, so not my 'issue' (yet, in this economy who knows).

In reply though, what if you were dating a man for say 3 months, it had been going well (attraction/chemistry and all) and he lost his job - would you immediately dump his butt for being unemployed (even though he might very motivated and 'hitting the street' looking for work the next day)? Or would you accept that he might not be able to afford as much in the near term while he's looking?

While I agree, if you're unemployed *looking* to date should/would be low on the priority list, what if you *are* dating (for some appreciable amount of time)? Is him suddenly being unemployed (but actively looking) the "death knell" for it?

I don't agree with everything in the article by any means, and I fully understand if the person isn't looking, is lounging on unemployment playing video games, etc... not a good sign. But in this economy "s**t happens" shall we say, it's a "possibility" for a lot of people (especially if things get worse not better).

*I* wouldn't like being unemployed, but it is always a possibility... I'm *prepared* for the possibility if it happens (many are not, I could survive a year or two unemployed if need be - not that I'd want to, I'd find something P/T if I had to so not to draw on savings). I doubt I'd have any desire to *start* dating in that circumstance, but if one already is?

Wasn't looking to bash anyone, and not looking to condone 'laziness' by any means, but it raises the question of how one handles the job loss of a partner, and assuming they don't become a 'lazy bum' about it, are you supportive or instantly dismissive of the relationship? Money is often a point of contention in relationships (or marriages) anyways, in this economy nothing is very 'certain' in many ways.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 5
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 9/30/2012 6:21:38 PM

How the hell can you date with no money anyway??? I mean really, who does that??? Not that a date needs to be super expensive, but I could not sit there, be unemployed and expect to have the other person pick the tab up all the time or feel right about it.


Make lunch and do a picnic, take a walk, go to the beach / lake, cook and watch a movie, go to a park... There's tons of ways to date literally for free (besides paying for things you were going to pay for anyway even if you weren't dating).

It doesn't really have anything to do with the actual topic of the thread, but just pointing out that not every date has to cost money. And honestly, the free dates are the better choices at the beginning of dating, it leaves a lot more 1 on 1 time, and you don't end up paying a ton of money for someone who could end up with someone else. Ofc, still going out somewhere is good to do once in a while.
 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 6
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 9/30/2012 6:35:58 PM
My only issue with that is this:

In this poor economy.. IM POOR.. i cant afford to support someone.. and YES.... if i loved someone.. i would do anything for him.. so lets not start IN the deficit mode. Men dont want to support me either.

So, heres the thing.. no matter what.. a man has to prove he can land on his feet... i surely have had to often!
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 7
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 9/30/2012 6:53:08 PM
I understand what it's like, over the last 6 years, I've been laid off 4 times. I really think it's a very broad brush to say society or even women, I also think it's harsh to say "look down on". Unemployment drastically impacts an indivdual's life. I don't date when I'm unemployed, simply because first off, I'm concentrating most all my resources into finding a job and being available for interviews. It also has an affect on a person's self confidence and self esteem, even if just a little bit. Also I have to watch literally every single dollar so I'm not going to burn up gas going to meet someone then not have enough to go to an interview or to church. I know that may sound drastic, but that's what the reality has been, at least for me. I had to buy a new pair of shoes, I noticed my black professional pumps were looking a little ratty. I wasn't buying shoes just to have a new pair, then my watch pooped out. I got out of Target, thankfully with less than $40 for both.

If someone's been a victim of the financial crises of the last few years and lost a job not due to any overt fault of their own, then I wouldn't think any less of them for that. There's another thread about a guy that doesn't have a car, and it's the same bashing of females who wouldn't date a guy who couldn't at least provide their own transportation for a date. I just mention it not to highjack the thread, but because it's a similar theme.

I expect someone to be in a somewhat equal position, as in being able to take care of their own needs, live independently. Many people don't live in a place where having your own means of transportation isn't a necessity, same thing for having some type of income. If it's an imbalance either way, it's just being practical, IMO. And yes, I HAVE been in more than one relationship where after I was IN the relationship, I found myself at least partially supporting the other person because I was paying for all the household expenses anyway. Haha, it seems I am able to turn a man who works into someone who suddenly has no money and then wonders what's up with me when he goes with me to the store and puts his own groceries in my cart....I think you get the gist. Gee, wonder why I haven't dated anyone in the last 5 years........ugh.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 8
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 9/30/2012 7:13:36 PM

Yep.
I completely understand someone losing their job in this economy - it's happening all around us. But if you're able, you should be looking and not toying with the notion of coming down on the opposite sex for something that has happened to you (not you specifically, but generally).


Heh, well, my last job I'll admit to blaming "the opposite sex"... or well, one member of it anyways.
Our old boss retired and they brought in this woman to replace him, who after "one-on-one's" with her I walked out feeling "oh crap" about it... she promoted all the women within 3 months, and guys were just "worthless" in her mind. She then started setting unreasonable goals and writing the men up to fire them (3 write-ups and you're fired). Took her 6mo's to get to me... ie, ask me how long to accomplish "X", I say 2 weeks, she says "I need it by friday" - worked late and took work home every night, busting my butt on it, have it for her by 5:15pm Friday... nope, not good enough, she "needed" it by 5, written up. Needless to say I was looking the next day. Had an offer letter the week after I quit (rather than be fired - she even ranted she didn't want to accept my resignation and would write me up, I told her HR would probably not agree with that (they didn't, I was out the door that morning either way, why risk a lawsuit?).

Nothing against you ladies in general though... she was just "the b**ch from hell". Never met anyone with that kinda resentment against men before or since. (I pity her husband, sounded like she though he was "useless" too).

And I'll admit I was "lazy" there, I told the new job the next week I'd have to give "2 weeks notice", so I had the entire month of July off (to relax and spend time w/ my GF at the time). Got paid for my vacation time, so I only "lost" 2 weeks pay, and I'd saved for 6+ months for the event (just in case), so I was more than covered. First time I've ever had more than a few days off between jobs in my career... although honestly I was going a bit stir-crazy by the end.

I will admit though, the opposite happened to me - I was hired in with one guy already there, and he gave his notice in November... for about 2mo's (before they hired someone to replace him in early January) I was working 8am-7pm daily, plus being on-call 24/7 the entire time, lucky to get 4hours of solid sleep (and that rarely) at a clip before getting called to fix something (IT), I was a zombie after 3 weeks of that... and then the GF leaves me 3 days before Xmas because I "didn't have time for her". (And 3 weeks later the new guy started and things started to get "sane" again). Eh, y'know, I had to do what I had to do, I knew it was temporary, if she couldn't see that... oh well.

So not having a job for a month was fine (although I had one lined up), but having one and temporarily getting socked (by coworker leaving) and having to "do it all myself" for two months - nope, unacceptable. Go figure.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 9
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 9/30/2012 7:19:22 PM
"No one wants to be with someone that is lazy, let alone cannot take care of themselves." There are men and women who WON'T make any effort to take care of themselves if they can find someone else who will. Or who will get involved in a relationship, then all of a sudden don't have a job and make no effort to look for another. The moocher in a workingperson's clothing....AKK. I wouldn't date a man who would let anyone else support him, if it were anything more than a temporary situation IN a "normal" economy.

It was a wake up call when my coworkers called by then boyfriend "house boy". Wow, he was, and he's gone. They were joking about it, but it wasn't funny to me!
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 10
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 9/30/2012 7:38:19 PM

These days everyone is expected to have some work of some kind and even women with families feel pressured to earn an income. Unemployed men have lower self esteem, poorer lifestyle choices and women on here can afford to pick and choose and the employed professional man with the car and the house will win out every time.
A man being poor is like a woman being plain.


Which, if you think about is, is essentially saying:
"If a man is unemployed or has little income, he has no value (or loses value) to her."
"If a woman is plain, or was attractive and "let herself go", she has no value (or loses value) to him."

Doesn't say much about the definition of "love" does it?
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 11
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 9/30/2012 7:55:30 PM
Our society puts too much emphasis on what people do for a living and not what they do when they are actually living.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 12
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 9/30/2012 7:58:03 PM

No.. it doesn't.

But most men will admit that the knockout will always win standing next to plain jane. Even if plain jane is a better person who has her life in order and knock out is a hot mess.

Women are more likely then men to over look the package even if it's gorgeous and look at the person. But women are more likely pick the guy with the house.

I think that makes women the smarter sex, but that's my opinion. lol


Depends. One ex moved in with me, and wanted a bigger house - mind you, I bought what *I* could afford, and we made about the same - but ok, "we" could buy a bigger place together if "we" both contribute. Nope, "forget it then". Amazing how much she "loved" me, until she was walking out the door cheating with a weasly guy who made twice as much (and who somehow *told* her about his 13 relationships in 8yrs at her job, where every one ended with him cheating on her w/ the next one - and you can guess how their relationship ended 8mo's later ). Obviously "money" is what mattered to her... not so sure that made her "smarter".

Then again, she wasn't anywhere a "knockout"... but I have to own that it certainly wasn't *my* best choice either. I was too "blinded with love" the first few years (before she moved in) to see "the real her" I guess.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 13
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 9/30/2012 8:36:32 PM
I think this issue is one of those "gender" things..." That's just ignorant. Really, you want to throw down the gender card? Pfft...I'm a professional, accomplished, raised my own children when the MAN in our lives bailed. I'm not wanting any boohoo, when I made the DECISION to have children, I did so knowing that if it came down to it, I would take care of them...and me. I did and put myself through graduate school, fulltime while working fulltime...not for a semester for YEARS. Was that what I wanted...HELL NO. But it came down to the reality check that all I had to dpend on, my kids had to depend on was ME.

I wanted to be a mother, and was, it was natural as breathing but I had to be the dad. My sons were both involved in Little League, I went to practices and their games and threw ball in the front yard and put them through their pitching and batting exercises. A gemder thing? I wasn't the best dad, but I was the best dad I could be, and at the picnics, I was the only mother with the ball and mitt out in the field tossing ball with my sons. They still remember that, and thought it was great. I can still throw a baseball, football, shoot hoops, and be mom when they want the comfort, gentleness...a hug and their biggest fan.

I love being mom, but was the best dad I could be. My sons are grown and married, if I picked up the phone and called either one, they'd BE here. And they call and stop by, not just to ask how I'm doing, to make plans on getting together.

Yeah a gender thing..if I wanted to remember, I think my sons would have a good laugh. And the eyeroll...guarantee it.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 14
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History
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 9/30/2012 9:26:08 PM
The presence or absence of earning power.. just like beauty.... is a significant distraction for so many of both genders that it actually can corrupt the ability to find AUTHENTIC relationship..... You can down play money and even hide it from potential partners as a test of true interest in YOU.... not your stuff.... or future potential to acquire it....physical beauty is not easy to hide at all....

At this age it is all about character, self sustaining life choices, intimacy on a mutually agreed level, elimination of unhealthful habits and behaviors, and financial stability.... those who look for these as a primary relational filters will have the greatest potential for authentic mutual relationship no matter what externals or setbacks present themselves in life... IMHO
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 15
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History
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 9/30/2012 9:43:06 PM
I am not a man but I was l look down by friends and potential dates ,when I was getting unemployment checks, I did not attend parties, cease dating, tho I was not hurting because I have a comfortable cushion to fall into ,Good looks is no longer a big deal it is what you are and what you got,a good income.
 ShelbySask4friend1
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 16
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 10/1/2012 12:29:38 AM
Lifes a biach , then you die...Though you need money to survive in this horrible taxation world...A women not working is not very attractive either though,lol...Also, being unemployed and say having 100k saved in the bank, is different than having no employment and having 100k in debts,lol...If you lived on a farm, had it paid off, and no debt, maybe you would not need a job, oh wait land tax, crap, but, you get the idea, it really does not matter how much money, or when or so much how,lol, you make it, as to your living style, debt, and other financial considerations, that factor in...I have a friend who has never what I would say worked a day in his life, general people look down at him for this, at the same time, his financial worth is considerable...
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 17
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 10/1/2012 2:04:44 AM
If you are born into wealth and unemployed, society loves you. If you are jobless by choice and lack ambition, you should look down on yourself, let alone worry about society looking down on you. Some women like men like that though, so it's not the end of the world.
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 18
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 10/1/2012 2:39:22 AM

Our society puts too much emphasis on what people do for a living and not what they do when they are actually living.



I agree with you, GWSmith. :)
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 20
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History
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 10/1/2012 10:16:42 AM
I agree with the OP, men are still expected to be have a job, preferabely a decent paying one, but women do not have the same pressure.

My BF does not work a real job, and has not done so since I met him. He is on disability, and does odd jobs for cash. Because of his injury and age, it's extremely unlikely he'll ever get another real job again, which makes me the primary earner in this relationship, and sometimes I help him out financially. I was raised with the expectation that the man supports the woman - or is at least able to support her, so there are times when my upbringing gives me a difficult time. It is a little bit embarrassing to admit to friends and family that the guy you're with doesn't work, and I'm always quick to rush in with justifications and at times I do find it stressful. When I was married and my husband was the sole support, I don't recall any embarrasment on his part, or that he felt any need to justify my lack of income and it was the same about 15 years later, when I was supported by a guy between jobs.

In my building of 16 townhouses, there are two other women whose husbands do not work due to disability, so the woman as primary earner is perhaps more common than thought, especially among middle-aged and older. Unlike myself and my boyfriend, however, these couples have been together for decades.

I think that as women become more financially independent, not necessarily rich, but well able to support themselves, I think attitudes will change and the man's employment status will become less of an issue to both men and women. It may not be for another generation or two, but I think our society is aleady headed down that path.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 21
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 10/1/2012 10:32:38 AM
It all comes down to who pays for dinner. If you are unemployed then I guess it won't be you who is paying. A subject that was done to death on here already. You also must remember that most women want to marry up and not down. While guys would marry down (as long as she is good looking). One of the reason for the unemployed men its much harder to date then for unemployed women.
Money makes the world go around...
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 22
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 10/1/2012 3:57:45 PM
I agree.. but in order to do that government has to step out of the market system and allow the businesses to prosper. In other words, stop taxing them, stop imposing ridiculous regulations and stop interfering with a working business. So many of my friends have lost their businesses or are about to in the last 4 years, simply because they can't afford the tax burden and other unnecessary things the government requires and they go out of business. I know of a few more who will go out of business if they have to have healthcare available for their workers as they can't afford it. the problem is not the companies but the government's interfere i those companies. Are some safety regulation needed? Sure, but are all million or 2 of them needed? Nope.

It costs a company thousands of dollars in the states to hire an employee. Most of it because of unnecessary government regulations. Then there is no promise the employee will stay employed with them for any number of reasons. Now with the healthcare requirement, it will cost thousands more.

So you believe that employees and employees alone should fund (via paying their payroll taxes and their federal/state income taxes) all of the responsibilities of our nation? Corporations and companies should be able to live off of the employees who make them their money? Business owners should hold no share of the responsibility and should be able to reap the benefits simply because they are in an ownership position? Yeah, that's logical. (If that were to happen? Say hello to a higher deficit/chronic state of recess, because people who work for wages aren't getting rich and this country would literally fall to pieces if employees were held responsible to foot the bill for ALL the expenses associated with a country as big on frivolous spending as the US.)

well first of its quite a different thing saying society looks down on unemployed men, to women are more likely not to date them. The first is a subjective view, the second can be probably proven statistically.
So which one is the one, you are looking the answer for OP?

Good question! Adult men are (as of last month) 7.6% unemployed. Women 7.3%. Hardly a staggering difference.
http://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/empsit.pdf

Also a male long time unemployed person, will most likely have other attributes which make him unemployed.
Such as low education level, low self esteem, lazyness, health problems, coping strategies, responsibilities.....
So there is always a wide range why someone is unemployed. With simply blaming the economy is a tad to easy. Cause that puts the focus in the wrong direction. You cant change the economy, but you can change your skill set. This is a bit more of a positive view of things then, then simply putting responsibility elsewhere.

Amen!!!! There are currently 3 million (yeah, MILLION) jobs available that will remain available because there are no qualified parties to fill the vacancies. (This is not select to college education required, also lagging/lacking skilled trade education/experience.)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/heidi-golledge/hiring-companies-and-unem_b_1864385.html
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-07-25/companies-say-3-million-unfilled-positions-in-skill-crisis-jobs.html
And I so agree with you ~ blaming the economy is just too simplistic.

~OT~ I don't know about other women, but I know that for me, dating an unemployed man has NEVER been an option. Has nothing to do with today's economy. I knew by age 16 that I worked hard and I wanted to date boys (back then) who knew what work ethic was and how nice it was to earn money. I view it the very same today. JMO
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 23
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 10/1/2012 4:16:56 PM

Why should I date a man who is not working


Oftentimes; that guy who is not working has, both, money and time to devote to dating you (getting to know you)

shrugs


But a job is a job


"That" is the type of person I could never date.


I would not want to date somebody who does not have one


Even if they are wealthy, and stay busy?


Who knows? Maybe ten years from now when North America has become thoroughly third-worlded (toss in Europe too) then we'll revert to the Middle Eastern motif: one rich man with a "harem" of assorted chattels.....


LMAO!

(one day?)

Have you read the number of " he's married" or "hes a player" threads on here? Once she finds out; player a tells player b that chattel f is now on the market. <--Chattel swap!!


Burger-flipping becomes the new upward mobility!


Jobs a job right.

;)

Ya; ok


In any event, judging someone unless you know all the facts seem absurd to me.


Yet; it is absolutely 100% commonplace.


and even utilize credit to extend their lifestyle beyond what their income would allow


Real life bums. (a bum IS someone who borrows/asks others for money still right?)


If you are jobless by choice and lack ambition, you should look down on yourself/quote]

Agreed
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 24
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 10/1/2012 4:30:41 PM
"Simply put, because thousands of years of human evolution has placed the "man" in the breadwinner/provider position, beginning with the ancient days of the "hunter/gatherer". "

That's a load of crap, there are references even in the old testament to women working and trading in the marketplace. The only difference in a man or a woman's career potential is that women are usually at least temporarily unable to work if they decide to have children.

The man as breadwinner role is a function of tradition and culture.
 BuzWeaver
Joined: 7/7/2007
Msg: 25
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 10/1/2012 7:29:43 PM
The article does cover a good bit of the stereo types and based on what a few women have said here the stigma is pretty pervasive. I don't agree with the notion that because someone is unemployed they aren't date-able or that they're lazy. Why, because I'm unemployed, but I also managed my money and put enough aside so I could pursue my own personal interest for at least 18 months. That's just with what I've saved for this particular situation, not to mention I have emergency money for another year to buffer me while I look for work.

What I'm outlining here I may not share with a potential match, but in the mean time I'm pursuing my own interest and I've saved for the occasion. There are people like me that do take time from the rat race and daily work grind. Even though I'm "unemployed" that doesn't mean I'm not doing something to earn money.

Demonstrating to someone that you're employed can give a signal that you're a contributor or bread winner, but think about how many people hate their jobs, its one in three people right? Just because someone has a job or money doesn't mean they're free from being abusive, cheaters or generally undesirable.

When you're working withing a framework defined by society its going to have its flaws. To me this is a great time to dating because I have the time and its a great luxury that people pulling 10 hours days don't have.
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 26
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Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 10/1/2012 7:37:44 PM

And most women simply are not interested in becoming romantically involved with an unemployed man.


Are you trying to tell us that you're unemployed right now? Your profile doesn't say that.

So, you're unemployed and you can't get a date. Sorry to hear that, but why tell us? The ladies aren't going to change their minds just because of your rant and your link to a blog that has no credible source.
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