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 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 1
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International datingPage 1 of 1    
One of my friends suggested that I check out Italian dating sites. Why? For one thing, I have family in Italy and I'd like to go back there. I often think of living there. For another, several of my European friends - or American friends who spend time in Europe - think I may have more in common with Europeans than most American men my age. I don't know but I'm curious to check it out. So, does anyone have any experience with using dating sites in other countries? How does one find Italian internet dating sites? Or know which are the best to use? Suggestions? I'm not going to do anything rash.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 2
International dating
Posted: 10/5/2012 4:50:55 AM
No experience at international dating sites (damn it, little experience with this one if I'm honest) but try my reliable friend 'Google'. You might get some review information as well as dating sites themselves and Google's translator is simple to use if you hit a language barrier.
 Maybe_Have_Some_Faith
Joined: 8/18/2012
Msg: 3
International dating
Posted: 10/5/2012 4:55:44 AM
i think it would be pointless until you move there. Seriously do you want to make an emotional connection with someone online only to discover when you went there he might be low life scum
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 4
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International dating
Posted: 10/5/2012 5:30:39 AM
The long distance factor can be a real problem, but if you have ways to deal with that, it may work out. It also helps to speak the same language(s). Some dating sites are international such as match.com, but I don't know if they have many members in some countries. I dated a British woman in Hong Kong for a while, whom I'd met on match. Ultimately, distance and relocation issues prevented it from working, but it was great while it lasted.
 YAMACANMECRAZY
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 5
International dating
Posted: 10/5/2012 6:58:03 AM
I suspect that there are sites for finding a man in Italy. But this type of 'international' thing is usually a prelude to marriage. You don't just meet and greet people from across the world..... unless you have a private jet ...

I used an Asian site to find a Chinese woman. We chatted for months ... I flew to China and spent 3 weeks with her. She was a perfect lady (no surprises, no horror story) but in the end I just could not marry her. So $5000.00 later I'm back on pof - Poorer and Wiser LOL!!

Just a note: the 5k was how much it cost to visit china for 3 weeks. I didn't pay an agency to meet her.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 6
International dating
Posted: 10/5/2012 8:33:17 AM
For one thing, I have family in Italy and I'd like to go back there. I often think of living there. For another, several of my European friends - or American friends who spend time in Europe - think I may have more in common with Europeans than most American men my age.


Ok since you asked:

For best results, ONLY when in Rome, do as the Romans do. WHEN YOU ARE THERE, on your vacation or whatever,
THEN contact some locals and get to know them in PERSON before imagining some Italian "lothario" prince
who will immediately fall for you and commit to bodice-ripper novel/lifetime movie style forever romance with just YOU...

When you see them in their home turf with all their own imperfections/idiosyncrasies,
you may well decide that some of those "overlooked" ordinary American men with jobs and their OWN homes/cars,
that you already know in person are looking much better from afar, despite not having that "sexy" foreign accent or
the very common "distance/unavailability tease" intrigue...
 Iona_Bob
Joined: 3/31/2012
Msg: 7
International dating
Posted: 10/5/2012 8:40:31 AM
OP - instead of going for a type of disembodied romance (seems contrived), why not join a foreign language learning site?

Meet real people in other locations that want to "trade" practicing skills in English/ Italian language.

www.busuu.com

Make acquaintances of both genders. Get a feel for the culture/ community/ locale in which you may be interested BEFORE making major life-changing decisions.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 8
International dating
Posted: 10/5/2012 9:47:17 AM

...several of my European friends - or American friends who spend time in Europe - think I may have more in common with Europeans than most American men my age.


It's the old "Grass is greener on the other side" syndrome. Did these pro-Europe friends specify what exactly all European men have that no American men have? I think all people from any westernized country are basically the same. There may be cultural differences, but that's about it. You are going to get every spectrum of men in any place you go-from good, loyal men who would make a good catch to cheaters and players. There are no borders for personality types and looks.
 darkfairycreature
Joined: 8/31/2012
Msg: 9
International dating
Posted: 10/5/2012 3:49:11 PM
pof is an international site, search on here and see what you find. I'm chatting to a couple of international users, and it's nice, but if you want to introduce a lot of angst into your life, start a relationship with someone who lives in another country. If you want to meet a few friends, see what you have in common, then I see no reason why not...
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 10
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International dating
Posted: 10/7/2012 9:31:14 AM

You can do a search on here and change your preference to what ever country you'd like to meet a person from.


Thanks. I wasn't sure how to go about that but I'll check.


You might get some review information as well as dating sites themselves and Google's translator is simple to use if you hit a language barrier.

Good suggestion about checking reviews. My Italian is decent, though I don't write well. Fortunately, I have spellcheck in Italian. And a couple of good dictionaries.


Seriously do you want to make an emotional connection with someone online only to discover when you went there he might be low life scum

Oh, don't think I haven't thought of that! There's a guy in my relatives' village who is around my age who is very sweet. I often wonder why he isn't married. I don't think he's gay.


It also helps to speak the same language(s).

I speak Italian, don't write well in Italian. It would help if they spoke English, too, but wouldn't be necessary.


find american women more sexually up front/open than european women

Interesting. Some jazz musicians I knew who played all over the US and Europe said the opposite. I suppose it depends on the women you meet.


Therefore, it's easier to form healthier relationships with either younger or older men.

Pitufina, thank you for your insight. I'm 25 years older than you, so that might help. Might. I'm also aware that, even though I often feel out of synch here and more in synch in Italy, were I to live there, I'd probably find out how American I really am!


I'd definitely relocate for the right person. I seriously thought about relocating to another country once before but came to realize that relationship wasn't solid enough. It had a lot of good things going for it but there were some factors that would end up sabotaging it in the end. I think about these things very, very carefully.


Will be interesting to know how a liberal female will get along with homegrown Italian men...

Yep. Don't think I don't think about that! Of course, just like here, it depends on *which* Italian men.


You have a degree and work in healthcare, it should be fairly easy for you to get a work visa through a legitimate business over there. You should just pack up your stuff and head on over there, especially before the Winter hits STL.

I'm not going to do anything soon. If nothing else, I have too many loose ends I have to tie up here before I go anywhere. I do wonder about being able to support myself in Italy. Between my profession and the possibility of teaching English, I might be able to earn a living. In the big cities, all the young people speak English, but in the smaller ones, the English teachers don't speak English and they are often very eager to speak with me. I might be able to earn some income teaching English. Even without dating, I think of moving there. I'm quite fond of my relatives and they would love to have me there. Apparently, it should be easy for me to get citizenship because of my grandparents. It would be a big change, though.


150 million men in america and you can't find one to date?


;-) It's not as easy as you think.

First of all, how many of those men are in an appropriate age range? I'm almost 60 years old, hon.

Of those men, how many are unattached? The pool is getting smaller.

Of those, how many of them are actually interesting and can hold my attention? Not very many. I'm an uncommon woman and I'm "too much" for most men my age. Too intellectual, too curious, too enthusiastic. Of course, that may be true of Italian men, too, but the emotional climate there feels more at home to me.

When I do meet men here I find interesting, they end up being too young, from another country, or married (but didn't bother to tell me). You got someone you can introduce me to? ;-)


why not join a foreign language learning site?

Meet real people in other locations that want to "trade" practicing skills in English/ Italian language.

www.busuu.com

Make acquaintances of both genders. Get a feel for the culture/ community/ locale in which you may be interested BEFORE making major life-changing decisions.


Oh, that's an excellent suggestion. Actually, I go to Italian dinners here and most of the attendants are natives. However, all the men my age are married.


Did these pro-Europe friends specify what exactly all European men have that no American men have?

None of them have specified that they thought I'd be better off with an Italian man (until this last one) but they've often said that they thought I was more like a European, and this has been mostly said to me by Europeans - mostly Italians and French. Intellectually and socially they find my way of thinking and my habits & preferences similar. I don't know. I do know I feel out of synch with my own culture and more at home when I am there, but I haven't been there long enough to know what that would be like over time. When there, I mostly don't do tourist stuff, I spend time with my relatives just having ordinary village life. In Milan, I have a small, quiet, relatively inexpensive place to stay.


they're thinner?

Mostly, yes. I went to Italy for two weeks at Christmas and saw only one truly obese person the entire time, in a pizza place in Milan. I can't go two hours in a public place in the U.S. - or probably twenty minutes, for that matter.


So go for it, but realize you are competing with his MOTHER.


I'm aware of the "mamistas." ;-)


if you want to introduce a lot of angst into your life, start a relationship with someone who lives in another country.

Actually, went through that once before. You're right. ;-)

Well, thanks to everyone for their thoughts. I'm not a rash person and it would take a lot for me to pick up and go. I've got some heavy commitments here that will take some time to shed but once I do, I won't be tied here any more and perhaps spending more time with my relatives would be the thing to do.



 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 11
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International dating
Posted: 10/7/2012 1:08:36 PM

So $5000.00 later I'm back on pof - Poorer and Wiser LOL!!

^^^^^^^^
I can assure you people spend that and more on non international "looking for love /having fun.....ect" right here in the USA.

I agree just set your settings for another country and look around, talk with people.
There are good and bad people in every country.

If you agree to go somewhere with/to someone you have not spent time with at least make sure YOU can afford a hotel, rental car and plane fare back.
 scouttster
Joined: 1/22/2009
Msg: 12
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International dating
Posted: 10/7/2012 4:28:50 PM
Ya know, we have one of the most diverse societies in the world... I have some experience with dating internationally and I will tell you this - men and women are the same the world over. People are basically, the same wherever you go. The only difference is culture, and physical appearance and those things eventually fade.. I have lived in diff parts of Asia for many many months and dated many Asian woman and when we got right down to brass tacks they were no different than American woman. The same goals, wants, and needs, and fears. At one time, I really believed the grass was greener until I experienced it first hand.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 13
International dating
Posted: 10/7/2012 7:09:35 PM
I would plan on a vacation first, then about 5-6 months before you get either change PoF to the location you are planning to visit, or sign onto a local Italian dating sites.

Arrange about 2 - 6 dates for your visit, depending how long you will be there. Leave a few days in between each date, maybe you will click so well that you want to extend the date. You can always cancel dates that you were planning on taking if you give a few days to a weeks notice. Or keep all the dates, just depends on your own personality and how well you get along with any particular date.

This should give you a very good feel for dating in Italy.
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