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 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 2
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Emphisis on Profession...Too MuchPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
"why is a man having a job still so important to a female? "

I would think it is as important to a female just as much as a male.

I know I am not interested in men who have certain professions because I need a man similar to myself to be compatible with. If a man is doing a job that would bore me to tears, I know he isn't the man for me.

A man who owns his own business wouldn't be mentally on the same page as a women who say bags groceries. I am not on the same page with men who don't have stimulating jobs.

If you don't have things to talk about, a relationship isn't going to work.

I have friends who drive trucks. I don't see them that often, but the conversation on their part is generally about something that happened when they were driving their truck. I can take it in small doses, but couldn't date a trucker and listen to trucking situation every time I say them. I am sure truckers won't want to hear about what I dealing with in business issues. Another business owner would relate to what I was saying.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 3
Emphisis on Profession...Too Much
Posted: 10/5/2012 2:52:55 PM

Msg 3: If a man is doing a job that would bore me to tears, I know he isn't the man for me... I am not on the same page with men who don't have stimulating jobs.


If you're not doing the same job as the guy, why do you care if you would be bored to tears doing his job? Why would a guy need a job that stimulates you? Aren't you able to discuss topics with a guy other than work? Even jobs that you would consider acceptable can be boring and routine. What would you do if you were dating a guy who had a job you found exciting, and then he got laid off, and the only job he could get afterwards was flipping burgers at a fast food place or pumping gas? You will need a lot of luck finding a guy who has a job that excites YOU, and not appear to be a gold digger.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 4
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Emphisis on Profession...Too Much
Posted: 10/5/2012 3:09:43 PM
"If you're not doing the same job as the guy, why do you care if you would be bored to tears doing his job? Why would a guy need a job that stimulates you? Aren't you able to discuss topics with a guy other than work? Even jobs that you would consider acceptable can be boring and routine. What would you do if you were dating a guy who had a job you found exciting, and then he got laid off, and the only job he could get afterwards was flipping burgers at a fast food place or pumping gas? You will need a lot of luck finding a guy who has a job that excites YOU, and not appear to be a gold digger."

I am a 60 yr. old business owner. I opened my first business when I was 23. Most Business owners are risk takers who's jobs are anything but boring.

"Even jobs that you would consider acceptable can be boring and routine. "

My late husband was a high IQ computer guy who ran the computer testing for jet engines for a well known world wide corporation. He flew all over NA and Europe. His job was never boring and routine.

I had a relationship with a gentleman who was again highly intelligent, who started and ran his own robotic company. Nothing boring about his work.

Neither man would ever had been in a position to get laid off and have to flip burgers.

"You will need a lot of luck finding a guy who has a job that excites YOU, and not appear to be a gold digger."

You can't be a gold digger if you have a history of bringing to the table just as much as the people you have relationships with.

The man's job doesn't have to excite me but he needs to be so excited and happy with his job that he is a stimulating partner.

"Because in the world of employment, huge equalities exist. Most jobs women hold are undervalued and underpaid. A decent lifestyle requires a man's success in the marketplace. "

Thank God that at a very young age, I decided to create my own company and my own fate so that I didn't have to rely on my mates success.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 5
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Emphisis on Profession...Too Much
Posted: 10/5/2012 3:55:51 PM
".I just turned 50 and am a part-time cashier (that also bags groceries when needed) and I LOVE it! I've (sort of) retired early and am doing something that I've CHOSEN to do.......all this after serving in the military, working for non-profits, and running a retail business.

Hope that doesn't bore you to tears........though we aren't dating so maybe it doesn't matter."

Nothing at all wrong with what you are doing.

Let's turn this around. How bored would you be if we were dating and I was thrilled with the new vacation home I just bought. I was busy planning the reno that I am doing, and spending lots of time checking out materials here that I wanted to take to use in the renov. Would you be bored?

Why am I able to do all this is because of my job?

Would you be happy with the fact that I will be spending 5 months a year living in my vacation home. Would you be happy that it is going to be challenging to still have my business to run smoothly.

I think my job and my lifestyle would probably make me an uninteresting date for you.

``I'd want their support in working toward my goals. It's been lacking in past relationships. If they were also more in that phase of their life, still working upward, maybe they wouldn't find so much to resent about the time and energy I put into it.`

I agree with the above statement.

IMO, job =`s interests and the ability to act on our interests.
 rustednail
Joined: 9/16/2012
Msg: 7
Emphisis on Profession...Too Much
Posted: 10/5/2012 4:16:13 PM
Awhhhhhh shit and all this time I thought retirement was not having to work. I would be embarrased dating a paper bagger at the local supermarket. On the other hand if you started your own art or antique shop for something to do then I could say; she know good ole shit thats why she is dating me.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 9
Emphisis on Profession...Too Much
Posted: 10/5/2012 4:53:04 PM

If a fellow owns his house and car outright and is not in financial debt for anything, has money in the bank and superannuation for the future, why is a man having a job still so important to a female?


Social programming; mixed with stupidity.

They dont know anyone that is in your situation, and thus, do not believe that it exists.


you cannot blame them for wondering.


You can "definitely" blame them for wondering.......yet not asking you anything about it.


In the end, money = more resources = more opportunities for your children


Ya; but OP did not mention money at all. Apparently he has money, or the person in his example does.

Many people I have met work full-time, yet have no extra money (and live like sh*t; to be frank)


some men are especially offended if I ask what they do for a living, but I've been guilty of asking out of pure curiosity


That's a very fair and very good question though. It opens conversation AND gives you info. Many women are afraid ot ask questions, and make all if their actions based on ignorant assumption. <---THAT is where the rude, ignorant and downright dumb comes in.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 11
Emphisis on Profession...Too Much
Posted: 10/5/2012 7:21:09 PM

Msg 16: I like to talk about that part of someone's life - it's a huge part of it. I like to ask what got them into what they are doing and how they like it. What have they learned by doing it?


Is that asked during a date or at a job interview? It sounds more like a job interview. No wonder some men are offended. I would be too if someone was grilling and interrogating me about the choice of earning a pay check.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 13
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Emphisis on Profession...Too Much
Posted: 10/5/2012 11:34:58 PM
It doesn't matter why they do, if that's there preference how is it a problem? They are only interested in that which attracts them. If you don't fit in that area, then they aren't interested. Why are people so put out about some not being interested in them? Move on.
Emphisis on Profession...Too Much
Posted: 10/6/2012 1:16:28 PM
GettingThere_isPartTheFun, I want to thank you for a very interesting thread. These usually end up a "gold-digger/gender-bashing" vitrolic mess that ends up getting deleted. There are a lot of different factors in compatibility, & this is apparently one of them, for many people of both genders. I am disabled/retired & I found when I was still single & looking, that it was difficult to meet men, because the very few who were interested in a stay-at-home spouse, were generally much younger & wanted kids. I don't have age gap issues (I dated a 35 year old widower when I was 18, my 4th husband was 12 years my junior); but I can't have any more kids. I was very lucky, a friend of mine here started a thread about how difficult is is to date when you are disabled. I was reading it when I saw a very good-looking man posting, who happened to have fibromyalgia & CFS, as I do. I messaged him 2 years ago & we are now married. Because I had found it too difficult to meet anyone auitable locally, I finally decided that I would be open to re-locating, for the right person.

It's funny, I just remembered, I met a lawyer in LA on a different site. He got very uptight at first, when I asked him about his work. I studied law in high school & once considered becoming a lawyer. Therefore I found him intelectually interesting, which surprised him, as he assumed the only reason I would be interested in a lwayer, is the money. I rarely even look at the "profession", it rarely matters to me.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 15
Emphisis on Profession...Too Much
Posted: 10/6/2012 3:01:45 PM
I work full time and study half time, also have a kid and pets.
So i am always active,


There's many folks who have organized their lives and careers so that they are very active when not working.By "active"; they would mean: canoeing, hiking mountains, mountain biking, travelling, dinners out, etc (not the dulldrums of life)

What do you see as: "active"?

Does this, indeed, refer to bringing up children? Is that the new "active"?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 16
Emphisis on Profession...Too Much
Posted: 10/6/2012 4:50:39 PM
This is a question geared to people who are looking for a partner who has a high status job:
If your partner was asked by his/her employer to relocate-with the option of either relocating or losing the job, would you readily give up your job to relocate? And if so, how far would you be willing to go? I assume military families go through this a lot.

Here's a situation I've seen at places I worked at: Let's say your partner's company is opening up a plant overseas, and he/she is asked to go to help with the start-up of the new company, and is asked to commit to being there 3 or 5 years, would you agree to relocate to some other country for that long? And what if the country is some third world nation, which would mean a total life style change and being without certain luxuries that are taken for granted?

It would be interesting to hear from guys to see if they would give up a job to follow their wife/girlfriend to her new place of employment. It was usually the other way around, but not necessarily now.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 17
Emphisis on Profession...Too Much
Posted: 10/6/2012 9:39:45 PM
What do you see as: "active"?Does this, indeed, refer to bringing up children? Is that the new "active"?


Btw; that was "not" meant as a putdown in any way.

I was just trying to decipher if "I lead an active life" could refer to having a "busy" life.

Just to be clear


It would be interesting to hear from guys to see if they would give up a job to follow their wife/girlfriend to her new place of employment


I want to see more of the word, so "yes" is an easy answer for me.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 21
Emphisis on Profession...Too Much
Posted: 10/10/2012 10:30:11 PM
Because, OP, a Man who has purpose, is on his right path and being productive, doing what he does, is a Happy and Fulfilled Man with healthy self-esteem and resilience. We like 'em like that better than depressed confused and lost without hope :)


Goooood answer

 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 22
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Emphisis on Profession...Too Much
Posted: 10/11/2012 1:29:58 AM
'cause you're not supporting the biatch who's qualifying you?
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