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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > At least half of my dates stick their tongue in my mouth during the f      Home login  
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 Sandy4779
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 1
At least half of my dates stick their tongue in my mouth during the first kiss.Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
At least half of my dates stick their tongue in my mouth during the first kiss. It could be a hello kiss, or "oh I like you" kiss. Doesn't matter if children are nearby, it always happens in front of people on the street or in a restaurant.
My profile shows that I am looking for a LTR.
What's going on!?
This is getting very discouraging.
 msemeraldeyes73
Joined: 9/11/2012
Msg: 2
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 3:46:20 PM
I know the feeling.... at least you don't have a knee jerk reaction and slap them.

People don't respect boundaries
People don't know how to read body language or cues

don't be discouraged... there are some great guys still out there.... Just develop quick reflexes to block them when they move in unexpectedly
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 3
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 3:47:33 PM
Beware fellow Earthlings!! It seems like some men may have been replaced by pod creatures from space,

that epidemic is reportedly happening all over the South this last day or so after a hollow meteorite found!!

Watch out for anyone/anything that looks like Natasha Henstridge, Ben Kingsley, or Michael Madsen!






OP, try some fresh garlic/onion juice throat spray, it is supposed to ward off vampires as well as any giraffe-tongued would-be lotharios...
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 4
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History
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 3:48:43 PM
Socially inept men "trying to make their move"

ugh.........

It can get so discouraging... and they don't listen. I think it's a miracle I found someone
but I did... you can too... be patient and shoo them away when they act like morons.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 5
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 3:50:20 PM
When someone leans in to kiss me I just turn my cheek.......you gotta be quicker on the reflex.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 6
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 3:52:20 PM
If it don't feel right....
bite!

:-P
 NCnavetG8r
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 7
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Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 3:54:31 PM
No boundaries, socially inept, lots of explanations, but no excuses for such poor conduct! A lady like you will find another guy quick enough. Just keep fishing!
 msemeraldeyes73
Joined: 9/11/2012
Msg: 8
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 3:59:42 PM


If it don't feel right....
bite!



wish i had thought of that last night instead of slapping him.... LMAO
 Green_Jello44
Joined: 6/19/2011
Msg: 9
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Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 3:59:49 PM
eat a bunch of garlic and chili peppers on the date.......I can't believe those guys messed it up with a girl like you, unreal.....
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 10
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Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 4:09:25 PM
The fact that you are down as seeking an LTR doesn't have anything to do with it.

Past that, I'd bet on the same sort of thinking I've seen a number of regulars here emphasize: the "go for it" concept.

I've always thought it was idiocy, but for the folks who think there's a formula to follow to get what they want, it would make lots of sense. Read a bunch of unrelated threads here, especially the requests for profile reviews, the plaintive cries asking how to get out of repeated friend-zoning, and the replies that guys get about how to make progress quickly.

How to avoid it? I have no idea, really. Maybe watching out for formulaic thinking, and avoid guys who ask for instructions about how to deal with you in the early stages. That might sound illogical, but my thinking is that a guy who believes in formulas for fastest results, is more likely to be pushy in the way you describe. It might sound as though he's thoughtfully trying to make the best impression, and cater to your way of doing things, but I think it's an indication that he's not willing to discover your tastes gradually.

Just a suggestion.
 Sniper308
Joined: 10/21/2004
Msg: 11
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 4:09:45 PM
OP: If you could learn to do the four-legged, "mouth tentacles" thing like in the "Resident Evil" movies (#4 and #5, specifically), I'm sure the whole tongue-down-your-throat thing would come to an immediate halt. If you can't do such tongue tricks, try just STICKING YOUR HAND OUT FOR A HANDSHAKE AND THANKING HIM FOR A MEDIOCRE/GOOD/SWELL/GREAT NIGHT before his "You need to kiss her goodnight" impulse overwhelms him. Be proactive, not reactive.
 Sandy4779
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 12
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 4:20:20 PM
It would be nice to sit and talk with someone awhile first before I decide if I feel a tongue in my mouth would be appropriate!
 Still_Dreaming_in_sc
Joined: 9/10/2012
Msg: 13
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 4:21:50 PM

At least half of my dates stick their tongue in my mouth during the first kiss. It could be a hello kiss, or "oh I like you" kiss. Doesn't matter if children are nearby, it always happens in front of people on the street or in a restaurant.
My profile shows that I am looking for a LTR.
What's going on!?


My guess would be they are testing you to see which you are more worried about. making a scene by pulling away and slapping or just accepting the kiss so that you don't make a scene.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 14
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 4:28:37 PM
"It would be nice to sit and talk with someone awhile first before I decide if I feel a tongue in my mouth would be appropriate!"

When do these morons do this? When I'm leaving I like a quick exit, I have my car keys in hand, say thanks, maybe a quick hug (like I'd give my brother) and poof......I'm gone. If I'm doing the quick hug and they lean over for a kiss I turn my head so they get the cheek, it's almost reflexive. If you let them kiss you on the lips and they start that, just pull away if it's grossing you out.

I'm not trying at all to be a smart azz, but I think you need to be prepared for these scenarios and be ready to react, maybe. I think sometimes if we act hesitant, the guys may be taking that as a signal (which yeah I know it's NOT) to GO FOR IT! They take a shot at it, which is simian knuck-dragging behavior. When it's time to go, be ready for a quick thanks, and scoot!

Or if you meet them and don't like them you can tell them you have the flu and cough and blow your nose frequently.......haha.
 Sandy4779
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 15
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 4:32:27 PM
I'm talking about within 5 minutes of our meeting!
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 16
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 4:36:03 PM
Hmm...I like tongue kisses. I am rather fond of them. I like 'em just about anywhere. Kind of like Green Eggs and Ham. That being said, I do not think that a kiss from just anyone is desirable, however, but from the love of my life, the person with whom I am in a relationship, the person that I long for? Oh yeah, he could kiss me anywhere and I wouldn't care who saw it.

But within 5 minutes of meeting...I'd say it depends. If it was the soon-to-be love of my life, yeah, it would be fine, but if it is someone for whom I feel nothing...well, I would be annoyed and push them away.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 17
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 4:39:07 PM
"I'm talking about within 5 minutes of our meeting!"

Wow where do you meet these guys at? Anyway, what I'm saying is don't give them the chance to do that. If you're meeting them out somewhere in public (you ARE doing that right?) then when you meet them, stick your hand out and shake their hand, hi nice to meet you. If they open their arms for a hug just say something and don't think you have to let them do that. I think you're probably just trying to be polite but you need to know you have some control over what you let someone else do to you, even if it is an ape trying to lay a sloppy kiss on you. Shut that down at the get-go!
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 18
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 4:49:17 PM
I'm talking about within 5 minutes of our meeting!

are you finding at least half of your dates on Craigslist??
somebody needs to vet their dates a lil' more carefully.
yes, you will miss some of the warning signs. but you should be shooting better than a 50.
you might have to accept fewer first dates to get there... quality vs. quantity.
 NCnavetG8r
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 19
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Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 4:52:48 PM
bucs is right,

If you're on a first date with someone, you have to set the boundaries. I'm not saying it's anywhere near appropriate for these idiots to assume it's ok to try and throat f**k you with their tongues within 5 minutes of meeting you, but yeah, you have to establish the boundaries that you're comfortable with. If that means keeping them at arm's length, then so be it. If it hurts their poor little ego, all the better. It's 2012! You have every right to demand to be treated with respect!
 Red_5
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 20
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 4:59:14 PM
Sandy,

I'm actually surprized for two reasons.

#1 That central Georgia/Hotlanta suitors aren't more the Rhett Butler type with misplaced chivalry like Sir Walter Raleigh.

#2 That single 50 something men aren't more reserved due to enhanced experience.

I'm just down I-20 from you, and I can't imagine my peers in my gen being that forward...or me for that matter.

I've gone out with two women in six months, and I didn't even have to bother writing their phone numbers down because they did all the calling.

I think you're just having really bad luck. Maybe next week you ought to plat the Georgia Lottery and win your bazillions since your luck has to change soon.
 msemeraldeyes73
Joined: 9/11/2012
Msg: 21
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 5:01:48 PM



If that means keeping them at arm's length, then so be it. If it hurts their poor little ego, all the better. It's 2012! You have every right to demand to be treated with respect!



NC why you gotta live so far away?? ;)
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 22
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 5:03:24 PM
I can only apologize for these guys on behalf of my gender. I've never tried anything like that. Well, maybe in college when I had been drinking heavily. But I don't remember it, so it didn't happen... right?

Doing the head turn thing to give them the cheek may not work with guys like this. Stopped me in my tracks the one time I got it (after a date #3), never called her again.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 23
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 5:05:43 PM
"Doing the head turn thing to give them the cheek may not work with guys like this. Stopped me in my tracks the one time I got it (after a date #3), never called her again."

Ummm..gee I'd say the head turn thing worked out perfect! Do you think she wants these idiots to call her again?
 msemeraldeyes73
Joined: 9/11/2012
Msg: 24
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 5:10:15 PM
BTW - avoid eye contact at the end of the date... this is how i got caught off guard. I looked up and opened my mouth to say good bye.... he had his opening....
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 25
Not Again!
Posted: 10/8/2012 5:17:18 PM
Ummm..gee I'd say the head turn thing worked out perfect! Do you think she wants these idiots to call her again?


My point was that it works with some guys, but may not with others. A guy trying something like this five minutes into a date is so far over the top, I'm not sure he would be deterred.

BTW - avoid eye contact at the end of the date... this is how i got caught off guard.


Be sure you don't want to see a guy again before you go this route.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > At least half of my dates stick their tongue in my mouth during the first kiss.