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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > About leagues. . .      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 BJC2012
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 1
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About leagues. . .Page 1 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
I am wondering, is it too simplistic to assume because someone is physically more attractive than yourself, that it is simply pointless to try starting a conversation, even if you both share similar interests? I find myself reading through a profile of someone, but then deciding not to send a message because they seem too attractive for someone like me. In real life situations, I find myself doing this as well. My question is, is this keeping from potentially good partners?
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 2
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/10/2012 6:24:10 PM
Forget leagues. Most people did once they left High School.

Here's the real story - Attraction is determined by the individual. What one woman (or man) thinks is the most attractive person that's ever walked the Earth, his/her friend will consider exactly the same person to be nothing special.

Determine who you are interested in, be interesting, and see if that person is interested in you. It's as simple as that. Stop over complicating it. The odds of finding someone are small enough as much of it comes down to chance anyway. Stop putting obstructions in your own path.
 Octane_Rush
Joined: 9/22/2012
Msg: 3
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/10/2012 6:24:21 PM
You should read my forum history, primarily regarding the thread re: women too beautiful to approach.. Your question and many others that you might eventually have will be answered.


<div class='quote'> Forget leagues. Most people did once they left High School.

Now that is a lie. Adults are just as much into leagues as kids, primarily women, since there is no such thing as a gold-digging man..

Look, the simple fact of the matter is, one should stick with someone on level with their looks; avoids inflating egos and is less likely to result in degrading, insulting rejection (as opposed to the regular, easy to walk away from with some misguided sense of victory in being the bigger man rejection).
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 4
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/10/2012 6:48:07 PM
And that's setting themselves up for failure. People are just people. Black, white, thin, thick, wealthy or poor, they are all just people with their own insecurities and worries. Stop trying to slot people into pigeon holes because no one fits a predefined slot.

Work on yourself so you are a person you are proud to be. And that's all you control. Speak to those who interest you and if they aren't mutually interested, respect that as the choice of the individual but categorizing people into leagues and trying to determine which levels you can attain/attracted is a BS approach to life.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 5
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/10/2012 6:55:52 PM

My question is, is this keeping from potentially good partners?
Of course it is.. the key word being potential. How do you know until you try? It could be yes or it could be no.. but not if you never send the message. Is the possibility of a no really so terrifying?
 Octane_Rush
Joined: 9/22/2012
Msg: 6
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/10/2012 6:58:09 PM

Is the possibility of a no really so terrifying?


The detriment isn't so much the individual being rejected as it is, societal pollution via inflating their ego. That's irreparable cultural damage.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 7
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/10/2012 7:11:56 PM
So you can speak for the Op? As though you are the spokesperson for the downtrodden and cow-towed male irreparably damaged by the overinflated egos of hot women?

\/\/ Odd cause, but whatever floats your boat. Seems kinda self-fulfilling though, don't you think?
 Octane_Rush
Joined: 9/22/2012
Msg: 8
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/10/2012 7:15:11 PM
Well, I think I ought to be made the spokesman for guys like myself. In fact, I hereby take it upon myself to. Now anyway, I was merely adding an altruistic element to being stingy about approaching girls. Relationships and the pursuit of must benefit society.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 9
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/10/2012 7:18:42 PM
If she has interests, hobbies, lifestyle, and does stuff...same as you....
sure. flirt away.
If not...probably pushing it.
In that either you, or her, or both, will have to stretch yourselves abit.
but if you can make it a fun stretch for both....sure. go for it.

As to looks/attractiveness...
that should be only be considered after the above has been.
It is of lesser importance for success at this.
 BJC2012
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 10
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History
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/10/2012 7:38:13 PM
Well, it depends on how she reacts. If she goes out of her way to insult me, then no I wouldn't want to feed her ego. Otherwise, I don't care. I guess it's just a learned behavior of trying to avoid uncomfortable situations.
 Octane_Rush
Joined: 9/22/2012
Msg: 11
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/10/2012 7:38:19 PM
No, men don't have as much ability in determining their fate in re: to women. Women hold all the power.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 12
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/10/2012 7:43:25 PM

Women hold all the power.
As I said, self-fulfilling..

Suit yourself *shrugs*
 Octane_Rush
Joined: 9/22/2012
Msg: 13
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/10/2012 8:57:27 PM
It's not self-fulfilling: Women ultimately decide, so regardless of effort, it boils down to their choice.
 untilever
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 14
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/10/2012 9:10:54 PM
I think both genders "decide." Everyone gets rejected now and again--it builds character.
As for the original post--always message if you think you have common ground.
Some people take really good photos but are just regular once you meet them.
You don't really have much to lose by sending a message.
 1uniqueblend
Joined: 8/29/2009
Msg: 15
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/10/2012 9:16:39 PM
I would agree that, as a few others have pointed out, "leagues" are still alive & well.

Yes, the expectation (& probable outcome) would be that someone out of your "league" would reject you; HOWEVER, attraction is highly subjective. I'm sure we've all seen couples where one in the pair is considered significantly more "attractive" than the other.

So, you never know. If they can have someone out of their league...why can't you (at least try)?
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 16
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/10/2012 9:50:05 PM
People who think league or cliques ended in high school are living in denial. A good many people exclude others from thier social or dating lives because they

Do not live in a nice enough neibourhood
Do not have a job with some status and a significant income
Drive a nice car, take fancy vacations that they like to brag about
Wear the right clothing or use the right sports equipment
etc etc.

No everyone participated in this sort of thing in high school and not everyone if free from it now.
 Octane_Rush
Joined: 9/22/2012
Msg: 17
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/10/2012 9:51:59 PM
^^^^^Thank you.
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 18
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/10/2012 11:37:31 PM
No, men don't have as much ability in determining their fate in re: to women. Women hold all the power.


Like hell. There are many attractive women out there just as unfulfilled as the "average" and "below average" guys. People you think are happy can very well be merely content. There's a big difference.

Sure, they may go through countless partners and have a lot more experiences, but they're not exempt from failing to find what they're truly looking for or making stupid decisions that keep them from it. You may think attractive women hold the keys to the universe, but many of them have been shit on just as much as you have, but in different ways.

You've heard the adage "experience is the best teacher, yes?" Well, you've admitted to having very little. So, I'm not certain how it is you're holding on to your beliefs with such great confidence. A lot of the advice you're being given is from people who have been playing the dating and relationships game longer than you've been alive, which should not be so easily dismissed.

Personally, I think you're going to burn yourself out with all of the over-analyzing and pessimism. (no, it's not realism) Hopefully, one day you'll finally see it as the dead weight that's been holding you down.
 Octane_Rush
Joined: 9/22/2012
Msg: 19
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/10/2012 11:40:51 PM
You may think attractive women hold the keys to the universe, but many of them have been shit on just as much as you have, but in different ways.


You may very well be right on this. So if we deflated their egos, they'd give subnormies a chance.


Personally, I think you're going to burn yourself out with all of the over-analyzing and pessimism. (no, it's not realism) Hopefully, one day you'll finally see it as the dead weight that's been holding you down.
Oh, that happened a long time ago.

Pessimism is realism, at least in comparison to optimism: Reality is very frequently an ugly thing. Therefore, it logically follows to assume the worst until the reality is proven otherwise.
 onewayoranuther
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 20
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/11/2012 12:43:14 AM

You may very well be right on this. So if we deflated their egos, they'd give subnormies a chance


What an idiotic thing to say. You obviously get your enjoyment out of the suffering of others...to you I say good riddance and rat poisoning in your soup.
 chrismac1982
Joined: 9/2/2012
Msg: 21
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/11/2012 7:23:24 AM
9's and 10's are easier than 5's and 6's. This always surprised me. I see not so hot people with hot people all of the time. Here is the thing, hardly any guys approach super hot women because they figure they don't stand a chance right from the get-go. It is paradoxical, true.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 22
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/11/2012 7:45:56 AM
9's and 10's are easier than 5's and 6's


LMAO - on what planet does this hold true that it is easier to get a date with a 9 or a 10 than it is with a 5 or a 6. For starters there are far more 5's and 6's ( if you consider 5's and 6's ) average than there are 9's and 10's - the most attractive 5 to 10% of the women out there. Even the proverbial 5 dressup up as a 9 will get asked to dance more often than a 5 dressed up as a 5 as long as long as what constitutes a 9 includes here demeanor and body language ( something that is always part of attraction IMO )

Personally I have never felt intimidated by a 9 or a 10 who gave me a friendly smile.
 Rorschachs_journal86
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 23
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History
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/11/2012 10:14:03 AM
here's the thing about leages...

for me I'm 5'6... and that alone is enough to put me at a lower league !

a 5'6 man equals that of a 5'7 350 pound woman !
That's my own take on things regarding leagues !

The moral of this story is to date withen your own leagues !
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 24
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/11/2012 10:39:25 AM
OP... you are a man.... while you may not have the best options to bed women quickly/easily who are typically ""outta"" your league - you hold the cards when it comes to finding a gf and a wife...

haven't you always heard/read about how many women ""desparately"" looking for bfs/husbands ?

men choose gfs and wives... women just have to say "ok"...

tradiationally women's father's gave the OK for a girl to marry a boy..

why ? cause they aren't as good at picking a man, since women tend to get '"blinded"' by the idea of marriage...


work on your game...

have some patience

and be selective on who you choose...

go after the type of women you want and figure out what you gotta do to attract a woman who is more physically who also fits many other qualities you seek inna gf/wife...
 CaptainA.D
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 25
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/11/2012 10:53:30 AM
Leauges exist in high school. In the world of grown ups, they shouldn't be around
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > About leagues. . .